A
Anonymous
Guest
********NOTICE TO EARTHLINGS********
Earth is to be destroyed to make way for a new intergalactic bypass.
Due to the cost of relocation, it has been decided that the Earth's human inhabitants will be destroyed also.
After clandestine surveys of your planet, we have decided to preserve the most valuable lifeform - cattle.
In accordance with Federation guidelines on the preservation of intelligent species, we are in the process of collecting genetic samples of this specimen.
We also intend to strip your planet of the last of its natural resources. Your moon will be towed to a new orbit around Jupiter where it will serve as a golf course and hotel complex.
The destruction will take place on June 23 2012 using a Federation compliant Class A Planet- F*cker Mark 7
under the supervision of the Federation Intergalactic Superhighways Management Conglomeration Department Team, and will be sponsored by McDonalds as part of their 'Free Big Mac on Jupiter'(tm) promotion.
In order to prevent undue suffering and alarm, the Federation is commencing a planet-wide gassing program to dull the senses. We also intend to employ "other techniques", the details of which we are not required to disclose until July 23 2023.
Sorry.
********TRANSMISSION ENDS********
Earth is to be destroyed to make way for a new intergalactic bypass.
Due to the cost of relocation, it has been decided that the Earth's human inhabitants will be destroyed also.
After clandestine surveys of your planet, we have decided to preserve the most valuable lifeform - cattle.
In accordance with Federation guidelines on the preservation of intelligent species, we are in the process of collecting genetic samples of this specimen.
We also intend to strip your planet of the last of its natural resources. Your moon will be towed to a new orbit around Jupiter where it will serve as a golf course and hotel complex.
The destruction will take place on June 23 2012 using a Federation compliant Class A Planet- F*cker Mark 7
under the supervision of the Federation Intergalactic Superhighways Management Conglomeration Department Team, and will be sponsored by McDonalds as part of their 'Free Big Mac on Jupiter'(tm) promotion.
In order to prevent undue suffering and alarm, the Federation is commencing a planet-wide gassing program to dull the senses. We also intend to employ "other techniques", the details of which we are not required to disclose until July 23 2023.
Sorry.
********TRANSMISSION ENDS********