- Joined
- Sep 22, 2003
- Messages
- 147
Gemaki said:
I didn't realize that I had it until I watched a program on a US news program about folks who have it. After that, being one who doesn't take the media's word for anything, I read the rather uncreatively titled "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders" by Steven Levenkron.
In my case, OCD is tied up with a huge number of intertwined issues. I'm an Adult Child of Alcoholics, Highly Sensitive and a Meyers-Briggs INFP. I grew up with a parent who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and full-blown OCD. Add to that the fact that I'm a highly intuitive chameleon personality, taking on the traits of people I'm around and the fact that I 'remember' traumatic memories from other peoples' childhoods even though they've never told anyone about them, and I'm not really offended when people think I'm a complete nutter!
Fortunately, my wife is extremely patient and seems to have an intuitive ability to find methods of helping me deal with things. My OCD behaviors have diminished infinitely in the last 10 years of our marriage.
But I guess the point I wanted to make was that the OCD is often wrapped up in other issues and is frequently a symptom of a problem rather than the problem itself. Children who suffer ongoing unresolved abuse, for example, often develop OCD as a coping mechanism.
(In my own case, imagine a highly sensitive child growing up in a home with a parent who had no concept that other people had feelings that could be hurt and who would become violently angry, along with the other parent, on a more or less random basis.) :shock:
To answer your other questions, my cousin has much more overt OCD than me. She's been on medication for the past couple years, which has permitted her to go from being a timid mouse hiding in her childhood bedroom to someone who is taking martial arts, actively dating and moving into her own apartment. I wouldn't say that the medication acted quickly but the improvement was steady and easily observed. (On the other hand, I've sometimes wondered if the medication just gives the OCD sufferer an 'excuse' to let go of anxieties...sort of a placebo effect.)
The danger, of course, with OCD is twofold. First, patients often either choose not to or are unable to talk about the sources of their anxiety because it represents a loss of control and, thus, a new source of anxiety. Therapists have to be VERY patient with OCD sufferers and often have to spend months talking TO the patient, describing how they might be feeling, in order to build their trust. Some therapists, unfortunately, take the OCD sufferer's reticence as an indication of combativeness, stubborness, refusal to cooperate and can become actually antagonistic toward them, causing them increased anxienty and increased frequency of OCD behaviors!
Second, patients tend to feel so much better on medication that they'll consider themselves cured, discontinue the medication and then tragically fall right back into the behaviors after a short period. Even more tragically, they will now be aware of the behaviors so not only will they be able to better hide them but they'll also drive themselves to a point of greater distress (than the first time) before they are discovered and treatement can be re-initiated.
As for hoarding, it is definitely an OCD behavior though it can have other causes. For the past 20 years, I've hoarded books, computers and electronics. Hoarding, again, is about anxiety. Usually, the fear that things that you want won't be available to you in the future, that the world will change in such a way that you might need those things.
Occasionally, the anxiety comes true. You need a part that would be impossible for find if it weren't for the hoard. This tends to reinforce the hoarding behavior in excess of the actual benefit received.
I have a friend who is a hoarder to such an extent that he keeps utterly useless things like rubber bands, slips of paper, plastic wrappers, paperclips, bits of wood and so on. He also grew up in a violently angry alcoholic home.
In my case, over the last couple years, I've managed to divest myself of huge amounts of hoarded material. I place the credit for this on taking up writing and art, pursuits that focus on the creation of artifacts and not on the collection of them. I've dumpstered and given away literally TONS of outdated, useless computer equipment. I've sold thousands of books that I never read. I try, instead, to focus my efforts and finances on keeping one or two good computers and on buying only books that I know I'll refer to again and again. (Having things like wikipedia and google have helped substantially because I know I can look up virtually anything and, thus, have no need to collect books on every conceivable subject.)
As for repeating the same sentence over and over, I'm the only OCD sufferer I know of with that problem. I don't repeat it verbally but just think it to myself during some specific activity. Fortunately, I can't think of a good example at the moment because usually they're something dark and creepy. (I've often thought that it's a way for my brain to torment itself.)
On a related note, it is not uncommon for me to get a song or melody stuck in my head for DAYS. The more stressed I am, the faster and faster it will 'play'...even to the extent that I'll hear it throughout my dreams as a sort of background film score. I'll hum it, whistle it, sing it...to the point of annoying others. Very frustrating!
One other behavior that I've noticed over the years and I'm curious if anyone else here does it. When people come into my office and talk to me, I find myself obsessively 'typing' what they say on my computer keyboard without actually pressing the keys down. I'll just sort of lightly tap my fingers on the top of the appropriate keys. On the upside, I can type upwards of 100 wpm. On the downside, my coworkers think I'm a nutter.
Maybe I am! :shock:
