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Dreaming Of The Dead

PeniG said:
What about dreams in which the death is a mistake begins to seem paranormal to you, Mr. Radio?

Peni, what I wrote was that I am very slowly arriving at the conclusion that there "may" be "something" Paranormal about such dreams. There's two or three qualifiers there and I could have added a good many more.

But I think what I find most interesting about my dreams is that my dead friends inform me that they believe (or believed) that I am the one who is dead. There's something sort of profound there (at least to me) and it strikes me as more profound than anything I can normally conceptualize.

I'm also impressed, highly impressed, with the number and consistency of "my death was a cosmic clerical error" reports of which I was totally unaware until the development of this thread. I've had similar dreams but had assumed they were more-or-less unique to me. (Yes, I'm aware that "more-or-less unique" isn't a very logical construction.)

On the other hand I may be just dead (no play on words intended) wrong.
 
OldTimeRadio said:
I'm also impressed, highly impressed, with the number and consistency of "my death was a cosmic clerical error" reports of which I was totally unaware until the development of this thread. I've had similar dreams but had assumed they were more-or-less unique to me.

I agree. I am not sure whether I think there is a supernatural thing going on though, more to me, that it is a natural result of so much wishing that the event (the death) had not happened.
Although I would not argue that you do not have a point..........
 
I'm not sure I can go with the idea of something paranormal happening OTR. Although I would say that there isn't much research done into dreams, and why we have specific ones. I would guess that as this thread has been consistently around for a while now (by consistently, I mean it always seems to come up when I click view threads since last visit, and I'd like to think I'm a regular visitor to the board) by so many different users that it's quite common for people to have dreams of relatives that have passed. Ok I know it's a windy straw poll, but it does, again, raise a question as to why so many of us do have this kind of dream. It's supposedly unhealthy NOT to dream, and earlier points of dreaming being a way for the subconcious to define changes in our daily environment, suggest that this is a similar response to an immunological response to physical trauma.

there's some interesting points raised here:-

http://health.discovery.com/centers/sle ... field.html

but as I can't find much about Garfield on the interweb, her credentials as an expert are obviously open to interpretation.
 
jeff544 said:
OldTimeRadio said:
I'm also impressed, highly impressed, with the number and consistency of "my death was a cosmic clerical error" reports of which I was totally unaware until the development of this thread. I've had similar dreams but had assumed they were more-or-less unique to me.

I agree. I am not sure whether I think there is a supernatural thing going on though, more to me, that it is a natural result of so much wishing that the event (the death) had not happened.
Although I would not argue that you do not have a point..........

I agree with jeff. Every time I dream of dead people who were close to me I think they are still alive. Part of our psyche to not believe they are gone. Might be some survival benefit to it?
 
Cultjunky said:
I'm not sure I can go with the idea of something paranormal happening OTR.

But I'm by no means certain myself. I think this is now the third time I've made that point.
 
Yes, you have, but we want to know is - what makes you have any uncertainty on the subject? You must have reasons to wonder this, when you don't have similar ideas concerning other recurring dream themes. So we'd like to hear them, if you don't mind.

Or is it all too nebulous to articulate in terms that will make sense to others, yet? If so, we'll possess our souls in patience until you have something that we can be expected to follow. It is a mistake to bring these ideas into the withering light of public scrutiny (which can make anything sound ridiculous) before your ducks are in their rows.
 
PeniG said:
....you don't have similar ideas concerning other recurring dream themes.

You are certain of this, are you? Based on what? (Of course if you quote back to me something which I've said and forgotten I really will feel like the community moron. :))

Or is it all too nebulous to articulate in terms that will make sense to others, yet?

Well, that's part of it, the same as with my tentative (qualifier) conclusion that there may very well (qualifier) be some (qualifier) sort of Thought, Awareness, Consciousness, or Ideation beyond or outside the Universe. Even so, my suspicion that our minds survive physical death is not based on any one strand of reasoning or evidence but on dozens of them - from the records of psychical research to religious beliefs to quantum physics to folklore to to bio-chemistry and physiology to personal stories confided to me by contemporary hospice physicians and intensive care registered nurses. My dream-observations may be the most fragile thread in that skein but I don't find them incompatible with the other, stronger ones.

It is a mistake to bring these ideas into the withering light of public scrutiny (which can make anything sound ridiculous) before your ducks are in their rows.

No it is not. That is precisely the reason that I participate in Fortean and Paranormal web forums - so I do have a place where I can bring up my mental woolgatherings, for good or for ill. (No, let me re-state that - it is always ultimately for good, even when my ideas are shot down.)
 
Sorry if you feel you are being shot down OTR, that's certainly not my intention. I just feel like I'm missing a stage in a set of directions.
 
Well, then, I am ready to listen and take you seriously any time you feel like sharing.

I inferred that you didn't consider other widespread dream content to be good candidates for paranormality based on my not remembering you saying anything similar about anything else. If the inference is wrong, I await enlightenment on that point, too.

Although I concede that, for all we know, dream sleep can be used by incorporeal entities to communicate with living minds that would be too hard to access in a waking state, my own experience and my reading of dream research led me to use the working hypothesis that dreams serve important physiological and psychological functions that explain most remembered dream content all by themselves. More information is always welcome.
 
Cultjunky said:
I just feel like I'm missing a stage in a set of directions.

Hey, guess what - they're missing from my set, too! :D

And as for having my ideas shot down, what I do then is go out into the field, locate the wreckage, beat the wings back into shape with a sledgehammer, run some re-enforcing beams down 'em, replace the propeller, and attempt to get the contraption back up into the atmosphere again, hopefully with it (and me!) a little more airworthy this time. :)
 
I do remember, the day that my maternal grandmother died, I was able to show my youngest a funeral procession, complete with professional mourners leading the procession, from out our front living-room window, passing by our house. If not an unique occurrence, certainly a most extraordinarily rare one. I've no idea whose funeral it actually was, only that it was a very real funeral and I knew, before concrete information was available, that my Gran had most probably died, because that is what it most clearly symbolised for me.

I had assured my Gran, sometime before, that I believed absolutely in a life after death, but that had been an act of love, not of conviction.
 
Last night I dreamed my mother and I were in a car she driving - I was in the back seat. (One odd thing I didn't realise until I woke up was that, although we were driving on the left of the road, as usual in the UK, the car itself was a LH drive model!)

I noticed a LH curve coming up, but the car seemed to be drifting right, so I called out a warning. There was no response, and it seemed as if mum was distracted by a text message or something (although she never had a mobile phone - they weren't around during her driving days). The bend in the road began to get sharper, so I touched her on the side of the face. Realising that she was unconscious or dead, I had to lean forward and grab the wheel...

And there the dream, or my memory of it, came to an end.

Very odd. I haven't owned a car myself for 20 years, and neither do I have a mobile phone, so what created this dream I don't know.
 
I've just remembered something that might be one trigger for the dream above:

Last week I got a letter from the DVLA, saying that I need to send a new photograph to update my driving licence, and I've been debating whether it's worth forking out £20 quid (plus the cost of the photos) when I have no car or any real need to drive at all. Hence me in the back seat, being driven...?
 
rynner2 said:
I've just remembered something that might be one trigger for the dream above:

Last week I got a letter from the DVLA, saying that I need to send a new photograph to update my driving licence, and I've been debating whether it's worth forking out £20 quid (plus the cost of the photos) when I have no car or any real need to drive at all. Hence me in the back seat, being driven...?

By not renewing your license, you are relinquishing some control, just like when you were younger and your parents were the ones who have control of where you were going in the car. I'd guess that by you wanting to take back control of the wheel in your dream reflects some feeling of maybe keeping the license, just in case you NEED to use it.
 
My grandmother died when I was 8. During my mid-teens, I once dreamed that I was sitting with her beneath the shade of a tree in a sunlit garden, and next to her were some antique dolls. Every now and again during our chat she would turn to me and point out a couple of the dolls, saying "This one is Winnie and this one is Dora. They are meant for you."

I collected antique dolls during my teens and found this quite amusing - my grandmother had never had anything like that to pass down. I was also amused upon waking to make the connection that two of her sisters were called Winifred and Dorothy, although Dorothy was known as Doll, not Dora.

Nothing more than the id playing games here!
 
dead relative dreams

In February of this year, my mom died, and my husband and I moved into the house she had shared with my dad. Since then I have had several odd dreams just as I am dropping off to sleep, or waking up. My mom seems to be talking to me in my head, just a sentence or two. The first one, the week after she died, was her repeating, "I'm dead!" in this shocked voice. Then one night I was very depressed and sad, and just as I dropped off I heard her clear as a bell saying, "Honey, don't cry!" Then two nights ago, I had a nightmare that a door opened just a crack, someone sneaked into the bedroom and embraced me, and I heard her as I woke apologizing for scaring me, something like, "I didn't mean to do that." Then today I took a nap and this time I just saw her face quite clearly, and felt this strong sadness and awareness that I wouldn't be talking to her anymore. It was sort of like she was saying goodbye. or maybe me saying goodbye to her, I dunno. But I must admit that my instinctive gut feeling is that the dreams were really her, although of course there's no way to prove that.
 
I'm sorry that you lost your mother.

It's very recent. A psychologist might say that your dreams represent your emotional acceptance of her passing, which tends to lag behind our intellectual acceptance.

Of course, for you, it was your Mum, and as you say, how do we know any different? :D
 
dreams about my mom

Escargot,
I agree, whether or not the dreams I've had were really my mom or my own unconscious mind, they seemed to address saying goodbye and letting go. After having the last dream, yesterday I finally took her phone number off my speed dial which seemed like the last letting-go.
 
That was brave of you. :)

Within the last week I've deleted an email address on my ISP which belonged to someone close who died 5 years ago. They were never going to use it again, but I used to check it every few weeks anyway.
 
Wildaboutharry said:
Interesting topic> I have had two such dreams; one of my Nan, of whom I was very fond, and the other was of my sister.

The dream of my sister didn't make much sense, to be honest; I came across her wrapping presents in the hallway. "But you hate wrapping presents," I protested.
"I know," she said, "But I don't mind when it's for the kids." I think my brain just conjured that one up.

The other one was a bit more "spiritual". I was walking, as I had many times, along the prom at Brighton with my Nan. During the latter years of her life she had not been in the rude health she'd mostly enjoyed in life, and got tired easily. This had proved to be the beginning of cancer, of which she eventually died - relatively young, at the age of 68.
Turning to her, I said, "Nan, we should stop now. You'll get tired."
Smiling, she said "Oh, that's all right. It doesn't hurt any more."
I'll never forget that one.
that's beautiful :( all my dreams have been scary :(
 
I had a dream about my little sister who recently died,in the dream i was asleep but i woke up (in my dream) knowing my sisters spirit was at the foot of my bed wanting to talk to me,but sadly i was to scared to open my eyes and speak to her.
I then woke up properly,feeling really miserable,even more so because in real life i am not the least bit scared of spirits,so why would i be scared of my sisters spirit in a dream?
 
I've never had a dream like this, but a few months back my mother had a very vivid dream about her mother, who passed away just two years back.

The dream featured nothing remarkable at first, but at one point my mom got taken to a house in a run-down part of town. At first she was scared, but when they entered the house she was greeted by two pets (a cat and a dog) who had passed away a few years previously. Her mother was in the kitchen, making a cup of tea (like she used to every morning). They started chatting like they used to, and the dream ended.

She said it was a very happy dream, and she wished it had lasted longer.
 
I had an aunt and uncle who visited me and my family every summer since before I was even born. And every summer, my uncle would make his signature roasted chicken, which was the best I have ever eaten. The recipe was top secret---no one knew how he made it or what went into the recipe.

A few years ago, both my aunt and uncle died. Shortly afterwards, I began dreaming about them on a regular basis, like maybe once or twice a week, every week.

A few months ago, I got to thinking about the chicken recipe and how much my husband would love it, but I had no idea how to make it. I emailed my uncle's daughter, thinking she might know how he did it, but she was very vague and not much help.

So I decided to put the "contact" dreams to use and one night before bed, I said aloud to my uncle that I wanted him to come to me in a dream and tell me how to make his outstanding chicken recipe.
That very night ( I kid you not) I "dreamed" that I was outside in my flower garden and my uncle drove up in a car. He got out, we said hello and the next words out of his mouth were," To make the chicken, this is what you do...." And he proceeded to tell me what went in the recipe!

P.S. I also dream a LOT about a great aunt who has died. In those dreams, she always tells me how she is doing and what she is up to "on the other side". It's very cool!!
 
Woke up this morning apparently still in the middle of an argument, and heard myself saying 'No, X isn't dead!' Someone then asked 'Why not?' to which my reply, again spoken aloud, was 'Because I said he's not!'

X has been dead for several years, no matter how vehemently my sleeping self denies it. :(
 
Redhead666 said:
That very night ( I kid you not) I "dreamed" that I was outside in my flower garden and my uncle drove up in a car. He got out, we said hello and the next words out of his mouth were," To make the chicken, this is what you do...." And he proceeded to tell me what went in the recipe!

Did you cook the recipe afterwards? How did it turn out, i.e. did it taste the same?
 
I did try to make it but it wasn't quite the same. Something is missing. I think I remember him ( when I was a kid) adding a small packet of some spice which I have no idea what that is. I'll have to ask him to come back and tell me!
 
Redhead666 said:
I did try to make it but it wasn't quite the same. Something is missing. I think I remember him ( when I was a kid) adding a small packet of some spice which I have no idea what that is. I'll have to ask him to come back and tell me!

Oh well, nearly the same isn't bad considering the recipe came to you in a dream!
 
I've been following this thread with interest for ages, and I finally have a dream to add to it. A couple of weeks ago I attended the funeral of a good friend who is very much missed. Last Saturday, I dreamed I was outside a pub in the sunshine with a group of friends, bickering, complaining and messing about as normal. I looked over to a picnic bench in the pub garden, and was delighted to see our dead friend sitting there laughing at us all, with his very characteristic giggle. He looked exactly as he had before he became ill, and in fact seemed more like himself than he ever had, if that makes sense. In the dream, I had much more presence of mind than I would have done in real life, and went up to him to thank him for coming back to see us, telling him that we all loved and missed him. He beamed happily and then wasn't there any more. At this point of the dream I started to shiver and feel dizzy and cold, knowing that something "supernatural" had happened, though still very pleased to have seen the apparition.
I have to admit that, as some of you will have noticed, this dream occurred halfway through Unconvention (on the Saturday night, I mean, not in the middle of a talk or anything), and I was very much looking forward to attending Gordon Rutter's "A History of Talking to the Dead" first thing the next morning. The talk did indeed prove excellent, and I am 99 per cent certain that the combination of the anticipation and having recently lost someone accounts for the peculiarly vivid and unusual dream. I'm still very happy to have had it though.
 
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