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Dreaming Of The Dead

Cochise, I've thought a lot about what your wife said in your dream -how you would be together again "sometimes".
What's really important is that it's an answer that surprised you, so surely won't have come from your own subconscious.

It opens up channels of thought regarding reincarnation etc etc.(even parallel universes depending on the choices one has made -perhaps I'm getting into "Red Dwarf" here!)

Anyway, thank you for sharing.
 
'Sometimes', I wonder if that could mean 'some time'? - words can be mixed up in dreams.

Years ago I was overheard talking in my sleep. I'd been dreaming that my (unmusical) brother Mark was playing guitar on stage, and I was encouraging him with applause and shouting his name.

Only I called him 'Mike' for some reason, and the person who overheard me refused to believe that I wasn't having a romantic dream about some hunk called Mike! :lol:

I couldn't explain it, seemed strange to get my own brother's name wrong, and I didn't know any Mikes very well.

However, I've read since that mixed-up or misheard words are common in dreams and might or might not mean anything. The subconscious is trying to communicate very raw feelings in a toned-down presentation that's fit for our more rational selves to accept, goes the theory, and so there's bound to be some mistransaltion of symbols and words.

So I'd personally - this is just me - be thinking, 'sometimes' might mean 'some time', as in 'one day, a long way off, you're not dying just yet.'
Quite encouraging.
 
I hadn't dreamed of the dead for a long time, but last night's dream was quite a doozy!
(Note: earlier in the night, I had asked whatever compassionate diety might be listening if they could help me out with some advice. I was hopeful, but not necessarily expecting anything.)

The dream begins in the parking lot of a place I used to live. There is a woman there whom I don't know, but we are talking. She says, "I lost 20 dollars in this parking lot once." I replied, "well, lets look around, maybe another one will appear." Sure enough, there is a $20 bill lying on the pavement. I pick it up and hand it to her. We talk about how amazing it is, the way things just seem to materialize in that parking lot. I say "I wonder how it happens? What is the rational explanation?"

Suddenly, our conversation is interrupted by my great-aunt marching into the scene. Great-aunt died in 1991, but she looks as sturdy and practical as ever. She cheerfully waves a finger at me. "You!" she says. "You! Always wanting a rational explanation! Things materialize. Things fall from the sky. Fish. Frogs. Horsemeat in Kentucky. What's the rational explanation? Let me tell you" - she waves her hand to indicate the heavens, or the world around us - "there isn't any rational explanation!"

She then makes a joke about hoping the ingredients for oatmeal cookies would appear so I could do some baking (great-aunt loved baking cookies :)) and moved off back where she came from. The next thing in the dream, I was looking in my handbag and found a very strange sheet of paper with a poem on it (which I won't repeat here, as it seemed meant to be private) but which I suspect was the advice I'd asked for earlier in the night.

The dream was good and felt meaningful.
This relative has appeared in dreams before, most often when her husband was still alive and about to do something hare-brained, like sell off the family heirlooms for a few bucks. Whenever she appeared, it was usually to tell me to check up on him or to give a specific message. It had been a long time, though. It was good to see her again.
 
I have this strange dream about friends who have recently passed on, but I don't know yet that they have died.
I am always in a place I have never been before and I notice the person , I approach them and try to speak to them,
but they cannot see or hear me.
After having the dream I inquire about them and find that they recently (Usually within a week to a month) have died.
I have moved away from the city they live in or they have moved away as well, so there is no chance of me hearing of this and simply forgetting it.
 
My wife can't seem to escape her narsacisstic and psycopathic mother even in death.
Her mom has been deceased for a year and she having bad dreams about her more than ever.
I sent her to therapy and it does seem to be helping somewhat.
 
My wife can't seem to escape her narsacisstic and psycopathic mother even in death.
Her mom has been deceased for a year and she having bad dreams about her more than ever.
I sent her to therapy and it does seem to be helping somewhat.

Patrick,
This might sound all too airy fairy and woowoo, but...
I have a mother like that myself, and have come to the belief that just being around such people is damaging to the physical, mental and emotional health. It goes beyond just crazy-making behavior and stress. I can't explain it, but I've seen strong people be brought down just by proximity to a narcissistic and/or psychopathic person.

It's as if they actually damage the energy system of the victim by simply being around them.

IMO, your wife should definitely continue therapy, but I would also put any scepticism aside for a bit and do a spiritual cleansing, a niice ceremony for your wife to rid her of any nasty influences from her late mother. It may help rid her of remaining "bad vibes" and help her move on with her life.
 
No I thinks thats whats needed. Theres an attachment/cord/thought form def there I think needs to be released.
She left the home at 18 and never moved back. But she could never sever the tie to her mother completely or loose her relationship with her father. Her mother connived and treated her like dirt all her life. Holidays and birthdays were always hell.

Getting her to go along is the problem.
Shes not nearly as open to any kind of "woo woo" as me. Now if I could find some Anglican or Catholic priest with such a little ceremony in his pocket, I might could talk her into it. Otherwise she'd probably feel like she was at best trapped in an episode of Seinfeld, or at worse in danger from dark forces.

If it was me, I'd go see a shaman, get her cut off and run off, send her to the light or to hell, whatever. Just outta my head.
 
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Yea of course the old bat is bothering me, but only because I love my wife and what bothers her bothers me.
The long lasting effect this kind of person can have on you even periphreally can be quite detrimental.
But I was just a son in law for 17 years and only delt with her 2-3 times a year. My wife was under her thumb for her first 18 years of life and remained a target from then on. I suspect she is still a target, I don't think the ol gal has moved on completely.
Now that she's deceased it's like she's still here. Her mothers bad vibes have not let up, gotten stronger if anything.
Call me superstious if you like, but that's my gut feeling.

Ulalume,
Any certain type of practicitioner you would recommend I seek out for a cleansing ritual?
Red flags to avoid ?
You speak as one who might have some experience in such things.
 
Yea of course the old bat is bothering me, but only because I love my wife and what bothers her bothers me.
The long lasting effect this kind of person can have on you even periphreally can be quite detrimental.
But I was just a son in law for 17 years and only delt with her 2-3 times a year. My wife was under her thumb for her first 18 years of life and remained a target from then on. I suspect she is still a target, I don't think the ol gal has moved on completely.
Now that she's deceased it's like she's still here. Her mothers bad vibes have not let up, gotten stronger if anything.
Call me superstious if you like, but that's my gut feeling.

Ulalume,
Any certain type of practicitioner you would recommend I seek out for a cleansing ritual?
Red flags to avoid ?
You speak as one who might have some experience in such things.

Have no fear, I understand completely. The damage a person like that inflicts can be severe. Psychologically, they get inside your mind and destroy you from the inside. Spiritually, well, who can say for sure? - but I personally believe they can hang around to wreak havoc. Consider trying the following things before paying someone else for a ritual:

First - I don't know the system in the UK, if you can hunt up a priest who's open-minded or you have to go with the priest in your district - but if you can, I'm sure that many priests would be glad to say a blessing for her, just as a first step. No doubt they are used to dealing with trouble of a spiritual nature - that's part of their job, after all!

When some Catholic friends began to experience some nasty paranormal happenings in their home, they called the local priest. He went right over and cast the entity out, just like that. So it can be done.

Second - if your wife is not opposed to Catholic saints and angels, she might want to ask the archangel Raphael to intercede for her. Raphael is in charge of handling nightmares.

Third - again, another Catholic-based solution (and I have good reasons for suggesting this one) contact any of the Poor Clare monastaries and ask the Sisters to pray for your wife - or better yet, for her mother's soul to find peace. This might be ideal for your wife to do, as part of letting go of her mother, but if she won't, you can do it. Just go online to any of the monastary websites and fill out a simple prayer request form and hit send. It's that easy. I've had some extremely postive experiences with the Poor Clares, and I'm not even Christian. If I needed prayer, they are the ones I'd go to in a heartbeat.

Those are Christian solutions, ones your wife might accept. IMO, it would be best if she was involved in the process, because it would help to symbolically cut ties with her abuser. If not, though, you can do things on your own.
I've never had to hire any kind of practioner to do these things, I've just done it myself or asked a family member to do it.

If you feel the mother is actually hanging around in spirit to cause trouble, you can try a basic cleansing ritual in your home and see what happens. When I do a basic cleansing, I spray a mixture of lemon juice and water around the room, sprinkle salt on the floor, and sweep it out the door while visualizing the negativity being swept out with it. If I've got an unpleasant entity* of some kind hanging about, I go further - I ring a bell (loudly - they seem to hate that!) open a window and tell them in a commanding voice to leave. Then I bring fresh rosemary to the room, because that brings in protection.

(*If it's a just a lost or confused spirit, I just talk to it nicely and give it a bit of guidance. No need to order them.)

Some people swear by burning sage, but I usually don't because it smells like marijuana and I don't want the neighbors thinking I'm a stoner. :p But it seems to work for some.

If you try this, but nothing improves, check if there is some object in the room the mother's spirit might be clinging to. This might sound especially strange, but I've had it happen before. If you can find the object (using your intuition, or someone else who's intuitive) remove it or give it away.

There are numerous curse removals that might help (not saying your mother-in-law placed a curse or anything, but you never know how these attachments work). There is a quite simple and effective method using a paper doll and paprika that works wonderfully. I don't have a link, but I know a copy is online somewhere. Just search around for it.

If you know anything about runes (they aren't my specialty, but my husband is adept with them) certain of these can be used to chase away nasty things. I know these work without the intended person even seeing them, because I've seen it work on seemingly intractible problems. If you or anyone you know is adept with them, that might be something to add. They can also be used to aid your wife's recovery, again without her having to see them.

You can also aid your wife by passing your hands over your wife's body, symbolically (and some say, physically) cutting any energy draining attachments she may have. This is something my OH and I have to regularly do after dealing with my mother (who is still alive and very, very draining) It really does help.

Okay, that's the first level of things I'd do, that and the therapy. Try these before the more extreme measures. if these don't work, then it will be time to consider other things.
 
I think Ula has covered all the bases there, Patrick. My two-pennyworth is that there is an heirloom or keepsake in the house which is allowing her to hang on.
 
Thank you Ulalume, most helpful.
There happens to be a Poor Clare monastery not far from here. I will suggest we contact them.
Will do the cleaning thing myself soon.
Will try the hands thing too.

As far as objects go, there is only one that belonged to my mother in law. We brought almost nothing from her house. Everything else my wife got from her home were items that originally belonged to her grandparents. Asmall wood box and a small table, an old photo of her father, a locket w a small pic of her grandparents inside.
The one object of the old witch was my doing, a stupid 3 ft tall wood carving of a parrot I keep in my music room and use as a hat rack. The woman had very expensive tastes and I'm sure she paid several hundred dollars for it if not thousands. I even got the card and a magazine article about the artist. Hand carved by a guy in Germany.
I found it so ridiculous I had to have it over my wife's objections.
I can easily part with it if that's what it takes.
 
Thank you Ulalume, most helpful.
There happens to be a Poor Clare monastery not far from here. I will suggest we contact them.
Will do the cleaning thing myself soon.
Will try the hands thing too.

As far as objects go, there is only one that belonged to my mother in law. We brought almost nothing from her house. Everything else my wife got from her home were items that originally belonged to her grandparents. Asmall wood box and a small table, an old photo of her father, a locket w a small pic of her grandparents inside.
The one object of the old witch was my doing, a stupid 3 ft tall wood carving of a parrot I keep in my music room and use as a hat rack. The woman had very expensive tastes and I'm sure she paid several hundred dollars for it if not thousands. I even got the card and a magazine article about the artist. Hand carved by a guy in Germany.
I found it so ridiculous I had to have it over my wife's objections.
I can easily part with it if that's what it takes.

Well I am not an expert on these matters, so don't start throwing things out!

A simple cleansing can be done by putting salt into a bowl of water and immersing the object in it. Salt is very useful as a purifier and the significance of this ritual is that by putting it into water you are changing a solid into a liquid and therefore demonstrating your skill as an alchemist.

On a more practical note, could the parrot sum up what the woman was all about? Your wife may be subconsciously triggered every time she sees it.
 
Well the thing is a 3 foot tall carving made of wood and painted. Would be hard to submerge without damage.
Perhaps a good cleaning with a salt and lemon water rag, then burn the rag. I have it purposely in a place she rarely goes, in my music room among my stack of guitar amps, in the corner with 3 or 4 hats typically stacked on its head, lol.
 
Patrick, Rosebud makes a good point about your wife being subconsciously triggered. Her upbringing no doubt made her vulnerable, and she may even have what's known as C-PTSD from her experiences.
http://outofthefog.net/CommonNonBehaviors/CPTSD.html
The main difference between PTSD and C-PTSD is that the flashbacks are not visual or auditory memories of specific events, but overwhelming emotions, the origins of which are harder to pinpoint. C-PTSD isn't recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, and many people suffer without knowing exactly what's wrong.

I mention this, because every bit of knowledge helps in getting a grasp on what's happening.

This has nothing to do with the paranormal (though from a distance, it can look like it!) but children of NPD/ASPD parents usually have weak boundaries. The children were used as "supply" for the narcissist and since they were raised that way, they might not even realize how weak their boundaries are. The child is trained not to notice or resist the narcissist's boundary invasions. If they eventually do notice and resist, all hell will break loose.
Hopefully, your wife is learning about this in therapy, and how to manage it.

Now for the metaphysical part - I believe that these weak boundaries allow psychic/spiritual vulnerabilities as well. I sense boundaries as being not only a mental and behavioral construct, but as part of the personal energy field, too.
Just as there are ways to set and firm up boundaries through rational thoughts and behaviors, there are also ways to heal and firm up one's personal energy. Your wife may very well need something like this. I know how to do this on myself, but have no idea how to do it for another person. But if you can find out, that may be something you'd want to try, if you can get her to co-operate.

I also think it's important because, well, frankly - knowing what narcissists and psychopaths are like, I can imagine them being so addicted to power over their targets that they'd hang around harrassing them even after death. So if the dreadful woman really is hanging about, the sooner you can send her packing and focus on your wife's recovery, the better.
 
This person was still alive but years ago, I was upset about losing an old friend's phone number.

I now lived 150 miles away and I just got this overpowering urge to contact them, out of the blue. I can't remember why but maybe it was one of those challenging times in my life, when I needed someone who'd once known me really well, to speak to... I had lost track of all our mutual friends, as maybe a decade had passed since I'd last spoke to him. And this was the days before Facebook, and even the interwebz.

Then I had a dream and in the dream I was desperately running round phone booths trying to ring him. And his old number was written down. When I woke up, I noted down the number whilst I could still remember it. Not thinking for a moment it was the right one. But just... well I remembered the first two digits, and I knew they were right. (I should say I have dyscalclia and no head for numbers at all). Later on that day I rang my old friend and got through to a total stranger who said he now lived in that flat and my friend's name was familiar - he had moved out just 6 months earlier. So I didn't find my old friend but the phone number my subconscious remembered for a decade - long after I consciously forgot it.

My mum died 40 years ago when I was a child. I hardly ever dream of her. Maybe just once or twice in those 40 years.

My dad died in the late 2000s, and I have only dreamt of him twice. Once, it was a lucid dream and even during the dream, I was distraught as I knew he was dead.

The second time, I dreamt I was walking through the city near here, along a boring bit of ring-road near Morrisons. Just walking along with my husband. It is somewhere I went with my dad as a kid but maybe only a couple of times. He used to park near there when we went to that city.

In the dream we were walking along and I became conscious of this elderly man walking towards us who reminded me of dad. As he got nearer, I realised it was certainly someone who looked exactly like dad. The dream wasn't lucid - I had 'forgotten' he was dead, but also wasn't sure if it was him or not... As we drew level I could see it was him and felt utterly happy. He looked at me, gave me this incredible, reassuring, lovely smile - and walked on. I turned to my husband in the dream and asked him if he'd seen that - that was definitely dad. (Why we didn't talk or have a conversation I have no idea!)

I woke up somehow really happy and reassured. I often wonder why my dream was set there - on a boring bit of ring road in a city my dad didn't madly like (York - he was a Leeds man!)
 
My mother recently told me about her dream of her dear sister in law Joyce, to whom she'd been close. Joyce had died young of a fierce brain tumour, sadly leaving two little daughters.
My cousins and I are nearly 60 now and we still remember their Mum, my aunt, very clearly. She was beautiful and kind.

Anyway... my mother took Joyce's sudden illness and death very badly. She cried every day and would visit her own mother most evenings because she felt she was upsetting her own family with her grief.

After a couple of weeks of this, my mother awoke early one morning to hear Joyce speaking in her distinctive West Midlands accent. She was saying warmly 'It's all right, love! It's all right!'

Mother felt comforted and from then on, her grief eased and she was able to get through a day without breaking down.
Yup, it was Mother's own subconscious telling her to get a grip! - but how beautifully done. :)
 
I had a wonderful dream of my grandmother in the early hours of christmas day last year. I dreamt that there was aknock at the door, I opened the front door and there she was. Smiling she asked me how I was and I kind of stutted a few responses. She was carrying a biscuit tin which she opened and passed me a coconut tart - i think - which I began to eat as she stood there. The dog ran up to my feet and suddenly realising that the door was open I moved to stop him escaping. When I looked back she had gone....and then I awoke.
 
My folks were life long 7th Day Adventists, and as such they believed that the soul stays asleep after death until Jesus returns and everyone is resurrected. So they absolutely did not believe that people could be ghosts or have any awareness after death.

About 10 years after my dad died my mom came to us one morning and told us about a dream she had. 'He (my dad) sat next to me, held my hands and told me that everything was going to be ok' she said with a look of complete astonishment. She said how real it seemed but that it couldn't have been, but that it was just like he was really there. Less than a month later she had a series of strokes which led to her death within a short time afterwards. I've always been convinced that was really him who showed up in her dream to reassure her.
 
Not an odd dream so much as needed at the time.

A couple months a go, I had been having a really rough time of it, problems with mental health and lots and lots of stress. I was at breaking point. It was the first time I had slept in 3 days. And this dream, I was sitting in a sofa, in a log cabin that had a huge stone fire place. And leaning on the mantle piece was my Grandfather. And he was smiling at me. When he died he had cancer that spread throughout his body but there was no sign of that at all, he was standing there, as strong as he used to be.

Anyway, he asked me what was wrong. So I told him. Everything. He gave me a huge hug. Felt just like I was 10 years old again. And then we played draughts/checkers for what felt like a long, long time, just like we used to and it must have been before I woke up, he gave me another hug and a smile, said "You're a fighter. You'll get through it. I know you will." Which echoes something he said to my mother, once, when I was seriously ill. It was so vivid. Just as vivid as I'm sitting in my living room right now. I wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget it but it's stayed fresh in my mind since.

He was the only father figure I ever had. And was always there if needed. And in this time he was needed, he was there. I hadn't been thinking about him, or anything at the time. But, I felt a little happier when I woke up. And I'm still welling up writing it down, now.
 
(I've just been thanking George for his tarot reading, and I mentioned how my ex husband died unexpectedly at the end of January.)

My son rang me up two days ago to tell me about this dream:-
He dreamt he was with his dad and they were chatting cheerfully and casually -
"How are you doing?" "Fine, thanks", sort of thing.
Then my son said "Do you know you're dead?" and his dad answered in surprise "Oh, am I?".

My son says he woke up with tears streaming down his cheeks, although the dream had been "happy".

I'm hoping the dream was from my son's own subconscious to help him release emotion and come to terms with the fact that his dad is dead. (My son sometimes says he can hardly believe it.)

I have spiritualist leanings -I would hate to think that me ex husband really didn't know that he had "passed over"-
I want him to be able to "move on".
 
(I've just been thanking George for his tarot reading, and I mentioned how my ex husband died unexpectedly at the end of January.)

My son rang me up two days ago to tell me about this dream:-
He dreamt he was with his dad and they were chatting cheerfully and casually -
"How are you doing?" "Fine, thanks", sort of thing.
Then my son said "Do you know you're dead?" and his dad answered in surprise "Oh, am I?".

My son says he woke up with tears streaming down his cheeks, although the dream had been "happy".

I'm hoping the dream was from my son's own subconscious to help him release emotion and come to terms with the fact that his dad is dead. (My son sometimes says he can hardly believe it.)

I have spiritualist leanings -I would hate to think that me ex husband really didn't know that he had "passed over"-
I want him to be able to "move on".


It makes you wonder how many of us are dead but just don't know it, brrrrr!!!
 
(I've just been thanking George for his tarot reading, and I mentioned how my ex husband died unexpectedly at the end of January.)

My son rang me up two days ago to tell me about this dream:-
He dreamt he was with his dad and they were chatting cheerfully and casually -
"How are you doing?" "Fine, thanks", sort of thing.
Then my son said "Do you know you're dead?" and his dad answered in surprise "Oh, am I?".

My son says he woke up with tears streaming down his cheeks, although the dream had been "happy".

I'm hoping the dream was from my son's own subconscious to help him release emotion and come to terms with the fact that his dad is dead. (My son sometimes says he can hardly believe it.)

I have spiritualist leanings -I would hate to think that me ex husband really didn't know that he had "passed over"-
I want him to be able to "move on".

Perhaps your husbands expression of "Oh, am I" was in fact a sign expressing his new life and how it feels.
 
If it really was the spirit of your ex, maybe that dream was all the nudge he needed to move on? Think positive.


Yes. I've been thinking to myself that if that really was my ex talking to my son, unaware of his own death, at least he now has been told!
If we DO survive after death, we all have lots of caring family members "over there" to help us come to terms with the situation. ("Think positive "indeed. )
 
Just thought I'd sign up to post this.

I was very close to my grandma, who was taken ill Christmas Day 2013 and died January 2014. My birthday is in mid December and on my birthday in 2013 I visited her and found her to be in generally good spirits (she'd been complaining of feeling under the weather for a few days but looked like she'd perked up recently.) After visiting her, I had to come back from the car because we realised we'd left the parking permit in there. She kept it on the sideboard in the entry and normally I would have just run in, dropped it off and shouted "Bye!". This time, however, I walked in, then had the urge to go and see her and kiss her goodbye again. I did, and that ultimately ended up being the last time I saw her.

Being in palliative care for just under a month before passing, I had a lot of time to grieve for her, and whilst I missed her terribly, after a few weeks everything went back to normal. I always give her a little nod if ever I'm thinking of her, but had never experienced anything odd.

Then, in about February this year, I had a dream in which I was on the street she lived on. She was on the other side of the road standing outside her house with a man in a suit (I didn't, and still don't, know his identity). I had a very brief conversation with her that went along the lines of me telling her she was dead and wondering how she was here, to which she replied "Not like that!" with a smile. I woke up then.

To date I've never had any more "visits" from grandma. I've since linked the day I saw her as being around the time of her birthday. I know it's probably all the product of an overactive imagination, but I like to think maybe she was just assuring me she was still around.
 
What do you think she meant by saying "Not like that!"?
 
What do you think she meant by saying "Not like that!"?

I think of it as her telling me that even though her body isn't around, her presence isn't dead. I'm not sure if that fits into the "rejection of death" dream pattern described in this thread.
 
Just thought I'd sign up to post this.

I was very close to my grandma, who was taken ill Christmas Day 2013 and died January 2014. My birthday is in mid December and on my birthday in 2013 I visited her and found her to be in generally good spirits (she'd been complaining of feeling under the weather for a few days but looked like she'd perked up recently.) After visiting her, I had to come back from the car because we realised we'd left the parking permit in there. She kept it on the sideboard in the entry and normally I would have just run in, dropped it off and shouted "Bye!". This time, however, I walked in, then had the urge to go and see her and kiss her goodbye again. I did, and that ultimately ended up being the last time I saw her.

Being in palliative care for just under a month before passing, I had a lot of time to grieve for her, and whilst I missed her terribly, after a few weeks everything went back to normal. I always give her a little nod if ever I'm thinking of her, but had never experienced anything odd.

Then, in about February this year, I had a dream in which I was on the street she lived on. She was on the other side of the road standing outside her house with a man in a suit (I didn't, and still don't, know his identity). I had a very brief conversation with her that went along the lines of me telling her she was dead and wondering how she was here, to which she replied "Not like that!" with a smile. I woke up then.

To date I've never had any more "visits" from grandma. I've since linked the day I saw her as being around the time of her birthday. I know it's probably all the product of an overactive imagination, but I like to think maybe she was just assuring me she was still around.


A pleasure to meet you here and thanks for sharing that. You've added to the richness of this forum and I for look forward to your future posts my friend.
 
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