Oh, The Irony

Kryptonite

Dazed and confused for so long it's not true
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Suspected drug dealer tells the Police someone stole his weed. ]
There was a guy in my work a few years ago who stole some computer equipment from the office, then came in the next day and complained (to a manager) that it was broken.

He actually looked surprised at being told he was being sacked.
 
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Build The W... er...

A Trump winery in Virginia has applied to the U.S. Labor Department to hire 23 foreign workers, according to filed documents.

Trump businesses have hired 600 foreign workers since Donald Trump’s campaign for president, even as he railed about American jobs going to foreigners, according to BuzzFeed, which was the first to report the latest application. Trump operations have filed requests to hire more foreign workers each year since then.

CNN reported in 2016 that Trump businesses had employed at least 1,256 foreign workers in the previous 15 years, according to federal records.
The New York Times reported in 2016 that since 2010, only 17 of 300 American applicants were hired to work at Mar-a-Lago, the golf resort that Trump calls the “Winter White House.” Since 2010, Mar-a-Lago has obtained a total of 500 H-2B visas for seasonal non-agricultural foreign workers, according to The New Yorker.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entr...cid=newsltushpmgnews__TheMorningEmail__012919
 

Ermintruder

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The great Atlanta Paintball Wars of 2018 - rapper 21 Savage urged fans to start using paintball guns instead of real guns to reduce gun deaths, but it lead directly to the death of a small child...
And in another twist of ironic fate...it appears that 21 Savage (who writes about growing-up in Atlanta) may actually be....ever-so slightly British. Born in old London Town. And brought up there, until his teens. So maybe not quite the US southern roots he claimed.

Which may-well have provided exactly the same source rap material as Atlanta....but that doesn't appear to making much impression upon the US Immigration Department. He's under heavy investigation...reuters.com/article/us-people-21-savage-britain/birth-certificate-suggests-rapper-21-savage-was-born-in-london
 

Ermintruder

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Can't he be treated as a naturalised US Citizen, if he's been there since his early teens?

Lots of support for him from other artists though.
How does it work though, that he's not originally born in the southern states at all? Effectively he's identifying as being American. So is he channelling/empathing his doubly-displaced roots?

Plenty of common experiences, I'm sure, but there's still a massive difference between Tower Hamlets and Georgia
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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hunck

Justified & Ancient
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Poacher killed by elephant then eaten by lions

A suspected rhino poacher has been trampled on by an elephant then eaten by a pride of lions in Kruger National Park, South Africa.

A search party struggled to find the body but eventually found a human skull and a pair of trousers on Thursday.

Kruger National Park has an ongoing problem with poaching and there remains a strong demand for rhino horn in Asian countries.

On Saturday, Hong Kong airport authorities seized the biggest haul of rhino horn in five years, valued at $2.1m (£1.6m).
 

Shady

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So the elephant was the tenderiser and the lions were the customers in a raw bbq
 
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GNC

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Tried to find a link online, but all Google gave me was news stories about sheep rustling.

Anyway, the story is that last night the band Stealing Sheep were playing a concert and their signature prop, a huge, purple, inflatable sheep, was deflated and stolen. If anyone has any idea of its whereabouts, please contact the police.
 

GNC

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According to the radio this morning, the Stealing Sheep inflatable sheep has been returned. Apparently the bloke who nicked it didn't think it was important or something, so he took it. But on hearing the news, he brought it back. Tell it to the judge!
 

Lizard King

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Not sure if it fits into the irony category but it's a good story. There was a guy at a music festival who was arrested for impersonating a Police Officer, after stealing a Police uniform and hat from a Police van on site. The judge wasn't quite sure how to deal with him, as when impersonating a copper he restrained a guy who was to be arrested for assaulting someone, assisted in CPR on another person and found a women who had been reported missing.
 

maximus otter

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A mother given a doctor's exemption not to wear a seatbelt died after being sent through the windscreen in a motorway crash, an inquest has heard.

Sarah Evans, 58, was given the exemption - given to people in case they are stopped by the police - because of a hernia.

But an inquest heard she was killed when her daughter crashed into the central reservation of the M4 on a day out.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/20...ctors-exemption-not-wear-seatbelt-died-flung/

Moral: A doctor's note does not trump the laws of physics. Wear your damn seat belt, even if it causes some (alleged) temporary discomfort.

maximus otter
 

Swifty

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A mother given a doctor's exemption not to wear a seatbelt died after being sent through the windscreen in a motorway crash, an inquest has heard.

Sarah Evans, 58, was given the exemption - given to people in case they are stopped by the police - because of a hernia.

But an inquest heard she was killed when her daughter crashed into the central reservation of the M4 on a day out.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/20...ctors-exemption-not-wear-seatbelt-died-flung/

Moral: A doctor's note does not trump the laws of physics. Wear your damn seat belt, even if it causes some (alleged) temporary discomfort.

maximus otter
We had a 'ressie' (resident guest) at the hotel last week who had complications, a staff member called 111 (correct) and was advised to give our ressie meds (wrong) .. in those situations, we're not qualified (I am but that's beside the point and that was from another job) to administer meds just because someone on a phone line who didn't have the ressie's doctors notes in front of them tells us to .. that anonymous phone operator won't be the one taken to court when we accidently kill the ressie, it'll be the grieving family who takes the business to court (and that's if the business doesn't instead decide to pass the blame onto the staff member) ..

(painful constipation caused by opiate abuse - advice given paracetamol - the advisor couldn't know if the person is allergic to paracetamol )

I told the staff member to ask the ressie if she was allergic to paracetamol and if not to put the paracetamol in front of her instead of giving it to her .. and record it all in the accident report book.
 
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