Oops! The Silly Mistakes Thread

maximus otter

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In February 2017 the Indian Navy lost its first nuclear vessel, a $2.9 billion submarine named INS Arihant, because somebody forgot to close a hatch before diving.
Pfft! We did that 138 years ago: A Victorian inventor constructed a submarine, and planned to sail it to Portsmouth to demonstrate it to the Royal Navy.

A storm blew up and the crew transferred to the towing vessel. The sub had been designed so that the hatch could only be closed from the inside. It shipped water and went down.

The sub was named Resurgam, Latin for “I will rise again.”

It didn’t.

maximus otter
 
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EnolaGaia

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I bet the driver experienced a few agonizing seconds of extreme "D'oh" as this slo-mo fiasco unfolded - provided she was paying attention at all.

Merkel fan accidentally grounds chancellor’s plane

Chancellor Angela Merkel’s government plane has been grounded by an excited fan who jumped out of her van to take a photo of it at Dortmund airport but forgot to put the parking brake on, and the vehicle rolled slowly into the nose of the jet.

Germany’s Spiegel Online posted a picture Tuesday of the low-speed collision with the Global 5000 jet and reported that the van driver was an employee of the airport.

The German air force confirmed in a tweet that Merkel returned to Berlin by helicopter Monday after her plane was damaged by a vehicle, but didn’t provide further details.

The accident is a headache the air force doesn’t need, after a string of highly publicized breakdowns of the aging government fleet causing delays for Merkel and others.
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/32150e10f217469795d1998d4d02961f
 
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escargot

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A condiment name translates badly into a dialect of the Cree language. This becomes apparent when Heinz try selling it to Cree people in Canada:

New Heinz condiment Mayochup has an unfortunate translation in Cree

After a run in the U.S., Kraft Heinz introduced Mayochup, a combination of mayonnaise and ketchup mixed in a single bottle, to Canadian consumers earlier this month.

The name seems pretty logical—though some would argue ketchonnaise would be better—but in certain Cree dialects it comes off as less than appealing.

To some, Mayochup can translate to “shitfaced” or “shit is on my face”.
 

sherbetbizarre

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Pakistan govt accidentally turns ‘cat’ filter on during FB Live
For government and law enforcement agencies, social media is the perfect getaway for quick responses and important announcements. However, in a major gaffe, the provincial government of Pakistan’s Khyber Pakhtunkhwa live-streamed an entire meeting by accidentally turning on the cat filter. With pink ears and cute whiskers, the ministers conducted the meeting online — leaving Netizens laughing out loud.


https://indianexpress.com/article/t...-fb-live-starts-laughing-riot-online-5782451/
 

EnolaGaia

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I'd love to hear a recording of the first words spoken by the medical examiner personnel when they went in to collect the body ...
‘Baby’ found dead near park turns out to be realistic doll

Horror and alarm over the discovery of what appeared to be the body of a dead baby at a New York City park turned to relief, and probably some embarrassment, Tuesday when the blue-skinned corpse was later revealed to be a realistic-looking doll.

Police and paramedics rushed to Crocheron Park in the Bayside neighborhood of Queens at around 7:40 a.m. after a woman out for a morning jog found the “baby” lying face-down in the grass.

Detectives descended on the park in droves to look for evidence. A crime scene tent was set up. Yellow tape blocked off the area where the discovery was made.

Police initially reported the child was three months old and had been pronounced dead at the scene of an undetermined cause.

At some point, though, a closer inspection showed the object in the grass was a doll or some sort of theatrical prop, with its skin apparently purposely colored to resemble decomposing skin.

One giveaway was the baby’s T-shirt, which read, “the crawling dead.”

The red lettering wasn’t initially visible because the doll was on its stomach.

“It appeared to be a baby with discoloration consistent with signs of prolonged death, but thankfully, it was actually a lifelike prop,” Fire Department spokesman Myles Miller said.

The error was discovered when personnel from the city’s medical examiner arrived to retrieve the body. ...
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/bbed0a9f1cde461b999ccf07c787eeaa
 

Mythopoeika

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l was on a coach this afternoon, trying to log in to the bus company’s free wifi. No joy, but at one point, among a palette of other choices, l was offered the option of logging in to:

MI6 Surveillance Van”.

:oops:

True story.

maximus otter
Yeah, you really want to log in to that.
 

Tribble

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l was on a coach this afternoon, trying to log in to the bus company’s free wifi. No joy, but at one point, among a palette of other choices, l was offered the option of logging in to:

MI6 Surveillance Van”.

:oops:

True story.

maximus otter
In other words, a fellow passenger has set up their phone as a wifi hotspot and thought they'd use an amusing name. In the US they generally go for "FBI Surveillance Van".
 

Bigphoot2

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I bet the Devil made them do it
Thousands petition Netflix to cancel Amazon Prime's Good Omens
US Christian group condemns Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s story as ‘making satanism appear normal’ – but petition wrong company
Alison Flood
Thu 20 Jun 2019 11.40 BSTLast modified on Thu 20 Jun 2019 16.00 BST

Crossed stations … Michael Sheen as Aziraphale and David Tennant as Crowley in Good Omens. Photograph: Chris Raphael/Amazon Prime

More than 20,000 Christians have signed a petition calling for the cancellation of Good Omens, the television series adapted from Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman’s 1990 fantasy novel – unfortunately addressing their petition to Netflix when the series is made by Amazon Prime.
The six-part series was released last month, starring David Tennant as the demon Crowley and Michael Sheen as the angel Aziraphale, who collaborate to prevent the coming of the antichrist and an imminent apocalypse. Pratchett’s last request to Gaiman before he died was that he adapt the novel they wrote together; Gaiman wrote the screenplay and worked as showrunner on the BBC/Amazon co-production, which the Radio Times called “a devilishly funny love letter to the book”.

etc
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2...Mn9q5YgDLnG-vEyvbuaqVzGEWk#Echobox=1561033276
 

Ladyloafer

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GNC

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All Netflix needs to do is post a message saying, "Yeah, OK, we've done it, it's cancelled." They'll never know.
 

uair01

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From twitter:
ONE My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]
  1. I always took flowers and my mum visited a lot and she always took flowers and my grandparents were still alive then and they always took flowers. My dad’s grave frequently resembled a solid third place at the Chelsea Flower Show.
  2. Nice but I felt bad for the guy buried next to my dad. He NEVER had flowers. Died on Christmas Day aged 37, no one left him flowers and now there’s a pop-up florist in the grave next door. So I started buying him flowers. I STARTED BUYING FLOWERS FOR A DECEASED MAN I’D NEVER MET.
  3. I did this for quite some time, but I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a little private joke with myself, I was making the world a better place one bunch of flowers at a time. I know it sounds weird but I came to think of him as a friend.
  4. I wondered if there was a hidden connection between us, something secretly drawing me to him. Maybe we went to the same school, played for the same football club or whatever. So I googled his name, and ten seconds later I found him.
  5. His wife didn’t leave him flowers BECAUSE HE’D MURDERED HER. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. After he murdered his wife, he murdered her parents too. And after that he jumped in front of the only train going through Balcombe tunnel that Christmas night.
  6. THAT was why no one ever left him flowers. No one except me, of course. I left him flowers. I left him flowers every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS.
  7. I felt terrible for his wife and her parents. Now, I wasn’t going to leave them flowers every couple of weeks for two and a half years but I did feel like I owed them some sort of apology.
  8. I found out where they were buried, bought flowers and drove to the cemetery. As I was standing at their graves mumbling apologies, a woman appeared behind me. She wanted to know who I was and why I was leaving flowers for her aunt and grandparents. AWKWARD.
  9. I explained and she said ok that’s weird but quite sweet. I said thanks, yes it is a bit weird and oh god I ASKED HER OUT FOR A DRINK. Incredibly, she said yes. Two years later she said yes again when I asked her to marry me because that is how I met my wife. [END]
 

Tribble

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From twitter:
ONE My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]
  1. I always took flowers and my mum visited a lot and she always took flowers and my grandparents were still alive then and they always took flowers. My dad’s grave frequently resembled a solid third place at the Chelsea Flower Show.
  2. Nice but I felt bad for the guy buried next to my dad. He NEVER had flowers. Died on Christmas Day aged 37, no one left him flowers and now there’s a pop-up florist in the grave next door. So I started buying him flowers. I STARTED BUYING FLOWERS FOR A DECEASED MAN I’D NEVER MET.
  3. I did this for quite some time, but I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a little private joke with myself, I was making the world a better place one bunch of flowers at a time. I know it sounds weird but I came to think of him as a friend.
  4. I wondered if there was a hidden connection between us, something secretly drawing me to him. Maybe we went to the same school, played for the same football club or whatever. So I googled his name, and ten seconds later I found him.
  5. His wife didn’t leave him flowers BECAUSE HE’D MURDERED HER. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. After he murdered his wife, he murdered her parents too. And after that he jumped in front of the only train going through Balcombe tunnel that Christmas night.
  6. THAT was why no one ever left him flowers. No one except me, of course. I left him flowers. I left him flowers every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS.
  7. I felt terrible for his wife and her parents. Now, I wasn’t going to leave them flowers every couple of weeks for two and a half years but I did feel like I owed them some sort of apology.
  8. I found out where they were buried, bought flowers and drove to the cemetery. As I was standing at their graves mumbling apologies, a woman appeared behind me. She wanted to know who I was and why I was leaving flowers for her aunt and grandparents. AWKWARD.
  9. I explained and she said ok that’s weird but quite sweet. I said thanks, yes it is a bit weird and oh god I ASKED HER OUT FOR A DRINK. Incredibly, she said yes. Two years later she said yes again when I asked her to marry me because that is how I met my wife. [END]
That one became so viral it got a Snopes analysis!

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sixth-form-poet-wife/
 

hunck

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Women arrested after reporting 'hitman' they hired to Spanish police

A Spanish woman and her daughter have been arrested after going to a police station to complain that the man they hired to carry out a murder had swindled them out of the €7,000 (£6,300) they paid him.

The incident seemed to begin earlier this month, when the pair told police in Madrid that the mother’s partner had cheated them out of a total of €60,000.

It later emerged the daughter’s partner, who claimed to be a senior member of Spain’s secret services, had suggested they recover the lost money by killing the mother’s boyfriend.

They paid him a €7,000 downpayment on the understanding he would arrange to have the mother’s boyfriend killed and sell the dead man’s organs to raise the €60,000.

When the killing failed to take place, the mother and daughter felt defrauded and went to the police again.

“Officers then proceeded to arrest the two women and set about tracing and arresting the male suspect,” Madrid police said in a statement. “They have not ruled out the possibility that he may have swindled other people.”

They said the three suspects were waiting to appear before a judge and that the victim of the plot had been found “in perfect health”.

Officers are looking into the background of the man and how he came to have false documents bearing the logo of the state intelligence agency, the National Intelligence Centre.

They also found a document in which he had allegedly laid out how he planned to carry out the killing and sell the victim’s organs.
 

Ascalon

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On the wifi thing, I spoke to an infosec pro who would do talks in various cities around the world. To have some local material to work with, he would do a bit of war-biking first - essentially riding around whatever the nearest business and residential districts were, with a WiFi sniffer.

In San Francisco, he found a big apartment building where the residents were trolling each other with SSID names.

One said "Stop stealing our newspaper", another said "We don't even read it".

Another was complaining about the, eh, rather loud after hours activities of another couple in a nearby unit.
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

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Has anyone else tried to click on an unresponsive icon on a web page only to discover it's actually a small spider sat on the screen?
Just me?
No... but I have been known to try and click buttons on a screenshot of a program and wonder why they aren't working...
 
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