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Oops! The Silly Mistakes Thread

Bigamist 'forgot' drunken 1978 wedding
By Aislinn Simpson
Last Updated: 10:23AM BST 26/06/2008

A newly-wed husband has discovered he is in fact a bigamist after authorities found evidence that he married 30 years earlier while on drink-fuelled holiday in the United States.
The revelation came after the unnamed 67-year-old wed his long-term Hawaiian girlfriend and applied to move from Sydney, Australia, back to her birthplace.

American immigration officials scanned his records and contacted the couple to inform them that he was already married.

They produced a marriage certificate showing that he had tied the knot with an American women in Arizona in 1978.

The shame-faced groom confessed he had been on a 28-day drinking binge there while on leave from his job on an oil rig, but insisted he only vaguely remembered "a nice blonde woman".

He said "the sky fell in" when he was shown a copy of the marriage certificate.

"I looked at the signature and thought it could have been mine or it could not have been," he said.

However, when attempts to trace his estranged Arizona wife failed, the marriage was annulled and the man was told he could proceed with his plans.

He's the latest in a series of bigamists to have their past inconveniently resurrected.

A Norfolk man who wed a woman 33 years his junior while still married to his first wife was caught out by a guest he had invited to both weddings. Randolf Edge, 54, was spared jail after a court heard both his "wives" had now forgiven him.

Another man was unmasked as a bigamist after he mentioned an impending second wedding on the Friends Reunited website.

Carl Wallace, a 45-year-old maintenance supervisor from Oldham, Greater Manchester, nicknamed "Wally" at school, was caught out after a former school friend noticed the entry and contacted Anne, his wife of 22 years.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... dding.html
 
Going cheap: The £250,000 vase NOW only worth £20,000 after owners turned it into table lamp
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 12:01 AM on 11th July 2008

Turning an old vase into a table lamp has cost its owner a possible six-figure windfall.

The hole for an electrical lead drilled through the bottom of the Chinese collector's piece has reduced its value to around £20,000.

In mint condition - and sold with a matching vase that has been lost - it would have fetched up to £250,000.

The 15in porcelain container is around 250 years old and was bought by the owner's great-grandfather in the Far East a century ago.

Thinking it was worthless, his family used it as a lamp at their home in South West London for 40 years.

It was sent to an auction house only after a friend spotted that it might have some value.

Experts identified it as coming from the time of Emperor Qianlong, who reigned between 1735 and 1796. The vase was given to the current owner, who lives in the West Country, by her great-aunt.

It is thought the piece might fetch more than its guide price at auction because China's recent economic success has enriched the country's arts collectors.

Bottle-shaped, it is decorated in the Ming style with plantation leaves, lotus flowers and leafy scrolls.

It was purchased by the greatgrandfather for 14 dollars and carries a note saying: 'Pair blue and white bottles'.

Guy Schwinge, of Dukes, the Dorchester auction house selling the vase, said: 'It is amazing where these things turn up.

'This story brings to mind the umbrella stand that turned out to be a Ming vase.

'It is also a tale of what might have been. If the pair of vases had remained together and this one had not been damaged when it had been converted to a table lamp the owner may have got £250,000 for them.

'Similar single vases have sold for up to £50,000. Qing dynasty porcelain dating from the reign of the Emperor Qianlong is widely collected.'

Mr Schwinge said that established collectors in North America, Europe and Hong Kong had been joined by a new generation of buyers from the Chinese mainland.

He added: 'Prices on the international market have surged and this trend continues for the finest material.

Porcelain from this period often imitated earlier wares, as is the case with this vase. Chinese porcelain that bears a mark consistent with the date of the piece is particularly prized by collectors.'

Qianlong is seen as very conservative ruler whose initial success gave over to decline in his later years. He abdicated in favour of his son, Jiaqing.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -lamp.html
 
Reminds me of the woman on the Antiques Roadshow who brought along a lovely plate. It'd been originally encrusted with tiny jewels, but as she'd been sticking it in the dishwasher, the gems were no more.

Her face was a picture. Silly thing was, she'd known it was valuable because of the little sparkly things but had done it anyway. Posh and thick, and greedy, and right pissed-off too. :lol:
 
My mother-in-law had an old oil painting given her as a wedding present way back in he early 1950s. It had a heavy gilded outer frame to it. She did not like the frame so her new husband hacked the fancy outer frame off and then painted the remaining frame with magnolia gloss.

Jump to the 1980s. We are presented with this huge painting as a present by the in-laws when we move to our current home. We took it to be valued and appraised for possible renovation. The valuer cringed with horror when he saw what had been done to the frame. He explained to us what I had already expected, the frame would have been worth more than the picture :roll:
 
Scientist's blowtorch weedkiller backfires
Last Updated: 8:48AM BST 15/07/2008
A scientist using a mini-blowtorch to kill weeds accidentally incinerated his neighbours' front garden.

Robert Gailey, 79, watched in horror as sparks from a gas-powered garden tool caused the lawn and shrubs of his neighbours, Stuart and Phyliss McLean, to catch light.

Mr Gailey had been using a Weed Wand, a £20 hand-held flaming device which burns weeds, to treat the driveway of his semi-detached home in Paisley, Renfrewshire.

Within seconds, the McLeans's manicured lawn and evergreen trees were aflame and Mr Gailey's wife, Mary, called the Fire
Brigade.

Mr Gailey, who holds a 1st in science from Glasgow University, admitted his embarrassment over the blunder: "I had been using the Weed Wand to get rid of weeds on my driveway.

"A couple of sparks had come off and before I knew it they had started a blaze in the garden next door.

"I may be over 70 but I ran to get the hose from my back garden but unfortunately the flames had taken hold.

"Thankfully, no damage was done to any of the houses and the bill for the repair work has been agreed on between myself and the neighbours."

Last night, a Strathclyde Fire Brigade spokesman urged gardeners to take care when using potentially dangerous equipment.

He said: "People should be extremely careful when they use blowtorch devices such as these in their gardens."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2301484/Scientist%27s-blowtorch-weedkiller-backfires.html
 
Family is flown 2,000 miles the wrong way
Jack Malvern

A family setting off on a five-star holidays travelled 2,000 miles out of their way after they were given boarding passes for the wrong flight.

Charlie Coray, his wife, Tania, and daughter, Phoebe, 9, were caught in a mix-up at a check-in desk before their week's holiday in the Canary Islands.The family realised the mistake only after the plane landed and the air stewardess announced: “Welcome to Turkey”. :shock:

An investigation was started after it emerged that the family were given the wrong boarding passes at Cardiff airport for their holiday in Lanzarote. Mrs Coray, 44, a teacher, said: “It was unbelievable. I know they send luggage to the wrong places but not people.” Mr Coray, 47, an engineer, said: “It was about 6.30 in the morning when we arrived at Cardiff airport and we were directed to the check-in desk. We did not realise that more than one flight was being checked in there. We were half-asleep. When we were called to the gate we gave them our boarding passes, got on the plane and fell asleep.”

The Corays, from Llanishen, Cardiff, had booked an all-inclusive holiday with First Choice in a five-star hotel. Instead they arrived at Bodrum airport where they had to pay a £10 visa charge per person before boarding a plane back to Cardiff.

They have accepted First Choice's offer of a holiday in Ibiza because they could not get a flight to Lanzarote.A spokesman for the handling agents Servisair apologised and said that the staff member who accepted them on to the wrong flight had been suspended pending a hearing. A spokeswoman for First Choice said that an investigation was under way and that the Coray family would be refunded in full for any additional expenses incurred.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel ... 374973.ece
 
Ow! Also ironic.......

Woman accidentally stabs herself in cemetery ritual
July 21, 2008

"A Boone County woman accidentally stabbed herself in the foot with a 36-inch sword used in a Wiccan ceremony in a Lebanon cemetery, police said.

According to a Lebanon Police Department news release, Katherine Gunther, 36, was performing a Wiccan "ceremony of thanks" in Oak Hill Cemetery around 12:15 a.m. Saturday when she ran the blade through her left foot. She said in an interview Monday that she'd had a run of good luck recently and wanted to give thanks with the rite.

Gunther said she was aiming to put a sword in the ground when it accidentally hit her foot.

"It wasn't the first time I performed the ritual, but it was the first time I put a sword through my foot," she said.

Gunther immediately pulled the sword out of her foot, and her companions transported her to Witham Memorial Hospital.

Gunther said she suffered a compound fracture from the accident, but expected to be released from the hospital Tuesday. Witham spokesperson Tammy Rabe said Gunther is in stable condition.

According to police, no charges are expected to be filed in the case, although Gunther and her friends were warned against trespassing in the cemetery after established visiting hours."

Article:
http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a ... 45/LOCAL02
 
...a few hours after posting the above story, I came across this passage in Nevill Drury's 1980 book "Other Temples. Other Gods" (an occult history of Australia):

Page 57, Peter Barwick (a Perth Witch) describes the humerous side of Witchcraft:

"His sense of humour on matters relating to occult or witchcraft was frequently evident: witches, he said will laugh about everything except their gods. He suggested that the humerous side of witchcraft was tinged with irony: being the 13th person in the ritual bath, or dropping your anthame (ritual dagger) into your foot during a ritual."
 
Schumacher crash stuns car dealer

A Kent car dealer who was sent flying when a van struck a barrier was shocked to discover the driver was the German ex-Formula 1 ace, Michael Schumacher. :shock:

Martin Kingham, 39, said he was closing the security gate at his premises in Lydd on Sunday afternoon when a Fiat van struck the end of it.

The barrier hit his leg "sending him spinning" on to the bonnet of a car.

Police called to the incident said they helped both men to swap details and no further action was needed.

Mr Kingham was unhurt, while only minor damage was caused to Schumacher's van in the collision outside Millfield Motors, just before 1600 BST.

'Penny dropped'

He recalled how the police officer called to the scene said: "That chap is claiming to be Michael Schumacher, and I said, 'You know what, he doesn't half look like him'.

"Then the penny suddenly dropped. When I phoned my business partner later and told him that you'll never guess who I've been run over by, he wouldn't believe me. 8)

"Obviously being a car salesman we do like a wind up but the difference with this story is that it is actually true.

"Michael's entourage turned up and he left."

A spokesman for the seven-time Formula 1 world champion confirmed the incident had taken place and that Schumacher had co-operated with police.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/kent/7534890.stm
 
Just received this email -

Jamie Oliver's new cook book for free!
How good is this.....
Cook book = £20
Ingredients = £10
Getting sacked for "accidentally" releasing the book to the entire
planet before it even hits the shelves = PRICELESS!
It seems that someone at Jamie Oliver's publishing company sent a word document version of his 2nd book to one of their mates this morning. Unfortunately for the poor sap who sent the word document, it is now flying around the web at a rate of knots. So print what you like AND please spare a thought for the poor bugger that originally sent it, while enjoying the food you make from the recipes!!!
The deal of the day - Jamie Oliver's latest cook book. RRP £20 at most participating book stores. Yours for nothing! Enjoy & Pass it on!!

And yes, it's all there and it's not a joke. :D
Or if you're Jamie, :evil:
 
Parents forget child at airport

Staff at Ben Gurion Airport in Israel have found a three-year-old girl alone in a duty-free shop after her parents accidentally took a plane without her.

The parents boarded the flight to Paris with four of their five children.

The parents did not realise their mistake until the captain of the plane informed them after take-off, according to police.

The girl was put on the next flight to Paris. The parents will be questioned when they return to Israel.

"It is usual that travellers in a rush forget their luggage but not a child. This never happens," AFP news agency quoted a police official by as saying.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle ... 540112.stm
 
escargot1 said:
Just received this email -

Jamie Oliver's new cook book for free!
How good is this.....
The deal of the day - Jamie Oliver's latest cook book. RRP £20 at most participating book stores. Yours for nothing! Enjoy & Pass it on!!

And yes, it's all there and it's not a joke. :D
Or if you're Jamie, :evil:
Sorry Essy, it's a fake. It's been doing the rounds for a few years - they're actually old recipes nicked from his site.

Hoax-slayer has the gen on it.
...An email forward is circulating that supposedly includes a free copy of "The Naked Chef 2" which the message claims is a new cookbook by British celebrity chef Jamie Oliver. The email carries a large, 121 page Microsoft Word attachment that contains a number of Jamie Oliver recipes collected into a "book" complete with an index and illustrations.

The message claims that an employee of Jamie Oliver's publishing company inadvertently began the circulation of the new book when he or she sent a Microsoft Word version to a friend. However, this claim is unfounded. In fact, the word document is not a copy of Jamie's new book at all. Instead, it consists of recipes stolen from other Naked Chef publications and tacked together to form the bogus "book".

The "book" began circulating via email in July 2003. Several versions of the email, all with the same attached cookbook, have been distributed since then, including the late 2005 variant shown above.
 
Well, that shows how much I know about cook books. :lol:
 
Birmingham recycles message from Alabama

An official leaflet, above, about recycling in the West Midlands used a photograph of the skyline of Birmingham, Alabama.

Jon Cooper, 37, of King’s Norton, spotted the error in Recycle: Your Questions Answered.

A city council spokesman described the offending photo as “a generic skyline picture”, and said that the leaflet would not be reprinted.

In January West Midlands’ Conservative MEPs made the same mistake on their website.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/u ... 526547.ece
 
" . . . and these men have recycled their sheets and pillowcases to make delightful hoods and robes . . . " :shock:
 
Oops! Graffiti squad swabs art show
Daniel Emerson
August 14, 2008 - 5:06PM

The title of a street graphic design exhibition named 'Eye Saw' has been taken literally by over-zealous City of Sydney "graffiti police", who this week hosed down the outdoor exhibition, ruining one-off artworks.

In an embarrassment for the City, it is one of the sponsors of the washed-out exhibition - part of the Sydney Design 08 event run by the Powerhouse Museum this month.

Between 20 and 30 chalk designs, posters and stencil works were put up on display in Omnibus Lane near the museum on Monday.

The pieces, by members of the Australian Graphic Design Association, were meant to be on display until August 16 but only lasted a day after council workers stepped in and cleared them away on Tuesday morning.

Simon Pemberton, NSW president of the association, said a staff member from the Powerhouse Museum tried to tell the council workers that it was a sanctioned exhibition on Tuesday morning, "but to no avail".

Mr Pemberton said the council action was the result of "a communication breakdown between a number of people" and the necessary paperwork obtaining a permit for the exhibition was not filed on time.

"It's terribly sad but another example of how communication, or a lack of communication, can get in the way," he said.

Mr Pemberton said he did not want to blame the council for the mishap.

"When I heard about it I was really unhappy and distressed, now I understand how it happened, anger is counter-productive," he said.

"I don't want to off-side the ranger and the council, I don't want to make enemies of these people, there is no point. Shit happens sometimes, we've all been there."

Mr Pemberton said some of the computer-generated works could be re-printed, but other works like the chalk art were completely destroyed.

"It was taken down by graffiti removal people, it's not their brief to make sure they are careful, they were just doing their job," he said.

"Those designers who have the stomach to go again will do theirs again. I assume they may not go back because it's very labour-intensive."

He said he expected that the art to be re-exhibited would be up by the weekend and council workers had been given instructions to leave them until next week.

A woman who works near the museum, who enjoyed looking at the artwork on Monday, said the exhibition was obviously serious artwork and she could not believe the council workers didn't heed requests to leave it alone.

"I was annoyed and frustrated because it was a joy to see this work in the street at it was terrible the way these designers were treated," said the woman, who did not wish to be named.

A spokeswoman from the Powerhouse Museum said the mishap was "an unfortunate miscommunication but has been resolved".

A City of Sydney spokesman said the council had supported the Eye Saw laneway exhibition since 2006 but placed the blame for the misunderstanding at the feet of organisers.

"Unfortunately the organisers of the event did not come back to the City of Sydney to obtain approval and consequently City staff including the contracted graffiti removal team were not aware of it,'' the spokesman said.

"City staff have since been in contact with the organisers and have fast-tracked an approval for them and we are hopeful the exhibition can still proceed.''

http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/oop ... 95408.html
 
Royal mix-up over lager delivery

Twelve barrels of lager destined for a pub called The Windsor Castle were delivered to the Queen's Berkshire residence by mistake.

A lorry carrying 2,000 pints, ready for England's football match with Croatia, turned up at the real Windsor Castle.

Royal staff had no record of the order and turned the delivery away.

They eventually made it to the pub of the same name, which is five miles away in Maidenhead, but they were three hours late.

Pub manager Misko Coric said: "We have received mail for the royal household here before but I think this is the first time they have received anything meant for us. :D

"It was a silly mistake - these things can happen.

"The barrels did eventually arrive, about three hours late, so there was no problem."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berk ... 610619.stm
 
MI6 agent's cover slips during BBC interview
It was more Maxwell Smart than James Bond.

By Alastair Jamieson
Last Updated: 9:15PM BST 21 Sep 2008

In his dangerous job the MI6 spy's identity needs to remain a closely guarded secret.

So you can imagine his surprise when, during an interview with the national broadcaster, his carefully chosen disguise of a fake moustache failed him spectacularly.

The hapless spy, known only as 'John', had been trying to discuss the role that MI6 played during inteligence operations.

The first operational intelligence officer to discuss the role of security services in front of a camera was being interviewed in disguise for the BBC magazine programme The One Show.

But during the interview the heat of the film crew's arc lights made the adhesive weaken on his moustache.

The incident could almost have been a scene from the current NatWest TV advert which shows a moustache falling off a ludicrously-disguised spy or from the cult-tv show Get Smart.

The interviewer, BBC journalist Justin Rowlatt, said : "It wasn't like a Paxman interview but I was trying to get under his skin a bit and understand what it was like to do his job.

"He was sitting behind a rather grand desk at the Foreign Office and everything was going fine.

"Then I noticed that he was touching his upper lip occasionally. It was clear that the edge of the moustache was peeling away slightly and that he was aware of what was happening."

He added: "I tried to ignore it but when we had a break in the filming I said to him, 'John, the old moustache is coming off." He said, "Oh God, I thought that might happen."

"He was very good about it and just said, "I'll take it off completely."

If he hadn't, I think it would just have fallen to the floor.

"I think he put it in his pocket. He made a joke about it and handled the situation very well."

The agent said he had been spied on by foreign counter-intelligence services while serving abroad but was confident his cover had never been compromised.

The moustache incident will not be screened when the interview is broadcast on Tuesday..

A spokesman for the Foreign Office, where the interview took place, would not comment on the incident but confirmed the spy was the first to appear on screen.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/ ... rview.html
 
Fire brigade called to rescue branch from a tree
Firefighters were called out to rescue an iguana from a 45ft tree, which turned out to be nothing more than a green branch.

By Jessica Salter
Last Updated: 8:29PM BST 28 Sep 2008

Residents who thought they saw a reptile moving among the leaves called the RSPCA, who in turn contacted the fire brigade.

A fireman scaled the tree on an aerial platform and only realised that the animal in danger was in fact just a green branch when he was 25ft up in the air.

Colin Horwood, animal rescue advisor for Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service, said: "The branch bore a striking resemblance to an iguana when seen from the ground.

"I have never seen anything like it.

"We take all animal rescues seriously but in this case it was a good intent false alarm."

The sighting was more credible because the RSPCA had rescued another iguana in the same area of Cove, near Farnborough, the week before.

RSPCA spokeswoman Jo Barr said: "Members of the public reported seeing what they thought was an iguana moving several times.

"Because it was so high up we needed the fire service's help to get it.

"Another iguana had actually been rescued from same area the week before."

The iguana is native to Central America, South America and the Caribbean. There are two species - the Green Iguana, which is a popular pet, and the Lesser Antillean Iguana.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... -tree.html
 
Wine flowing from Italian taps is hailed as a 'miracle'
When wine started flowing through taps in dozens of homes during an Italian grape festival it was hailed as a miracle but now it has emerged it was more bad plumbing than religion.

By Nick Pisa in Rome
Last Updated: 8:48PM BST 07 Oct 2008

Sparkling chilled white wine instead of water flowed from the taps during the Marino Grape Festival - and as part of the event free wine flows from the main fountain in the square too.

However, due to a technical error the pipes from the local vineyard which supply the marble fountain were switched to the domestic supply feeding homes at Marino, in the famous wine-making Alban Hills, south of Rome.

So when mayor Adriano Palozzi, a priest and locals gathered round the fountain following a prayer of thanks to the Virgin Mary, with plastic glasses at the ready for Marino DOC they were left disappointed as instead of fresh win, out poured the usual water. :(

Then came the shout of "miracolo" from one house overlooking the square and a local rushed out onto her balcony to reveal that wine was flowing from her kitchen tap. :D

On Tuesday the workmen were fixing the problem while the event was the talk of the town - one local named as Anna said: "I was in the kitchen ready to do the housework and filled up a bucket with water.

"I was going to mop the floor with it but I immediately noticed a sweet smell from the tap and it was also slightly yellow - I recognised instantly it was wine.

"I called my neighbours and they turned on their taps and it was the same - the word quickly spread and everyone filled up bottles and plastic containers with the wine. 8)

"It all happened at the same time as Sagra dell Uva Grape Festival so everyone thought it was a miracle - I don't think that the mayor and the other officials were very happy though."

Mayor Palozzi said: "It was a surprise and completely unexpected - workmen are fixing the problem which obviously came about through a technical error.

"Several houses have been affected and people were calling it a miracle which it wasn't - it was a mistake. I don't think it dampened the enthusiasm of people at the festival and everyone still had a good time."

The Sagra dell Uva commemorates the return of admiral Marcantonio Colonna to his hometown of Marino following his famous victory over the Turks at the Battle of Lepanto in October 1571.

The town sent more than 250 sailors to the battle and the Sagra is celebrated every October to give thanks for their safe return.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstop ... racle.html
 
E-mail error ends up on road sign

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated".

So that was what went up under the English version which barred lorries from a road near a supermarket.

"When they're proofing signs, they should really use someone who speaks Welsh," said journalist Dylan Iorwerth.

Swansea Council became lost in translation when it was looking to halt heavy goods vehicles using a road near an Asda store in the Morriston area

All official road signs in Wales are bilingual, so the local authority e-mailed its in-house translation service for the Welsh version of: "No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only".

The reply duly came back and officials set the wheels in motion to create the large sign in both languages.

The notice went up and all seemed well - until Welsh speakers began pointing out the embarrassing error.

Welsh-language magazine Golwg was promptly sent photographs of the offending sign by a number of its readers.
The sign was lost in translation - and is now missing from the roadside

Managing editor Mr Iorwerth said: "We've been running a series of these pictures over the past months.

"They're circulating among Welsh speakers because, unfortunately, it's all too common that things are not just badly translated, but are put together by people who have no idea about the language.

"It's good to see people trying to translate, but they should really ask for expert help.

"Everything these days seems to be written first in English and then translated.

"Ideally, they should be written separately in both languages."

A council spokeswoman said: "Our attention was drawn to the mistranslation of a sign at the junction of Clase Road and Pant-y-Blawd Road.

"We took it down as soon as we were made aware of it and a correct sign will be re-instated as soon as possible."

The blunder is not the only time Welsh has been translated incorrectly or put in the wrong place:

• Cyclists between Cardiff and Penarth in 2006 were left confused by a bilingual road sign telling them they had problems with an "inflamed bladder".

• In the same year, a sign for pedestrians in Cardiff reading 'Look Right' in English read 'Look Left' in Welsh.

• In 2006, a shared-faith school in Wrexham removed a sign which translated the Welsh for staff as "wooden stave".

• Football fans at a FA Cup tie between Oldham and Chasetown - two English teams - in 2005 were left scratching their heads after a Welsh-language hoarding was put up along the pitch. It should have gone to a match in Merthyr Tydfil.

• People living near an Aberdeenshire building site in 2006 were mystified when a sign apologising for the inconvenience was written in Welsh as well as English.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/7702913.stm
 
a sign for pedestrians in Cardiff reading 'Look Right' in English read 'Look Left' in Welsh.
Obviously a trap.
 
rynner said:
• People living near an Aberdeenshire building site in 2006 were mystified when a sign apologising for the inconvenience was written in Welsh as well as English.

I can explain that one. The construction company involved has its head office is in North Wales, the site manager rang and asked for a sign to be sent to them as their local supplier had let them down.

The only sign available was bilingual, so they sent that rather than nothing.

I know this because I know the bloke who sent the sign.
 
'Try something new today...' blundering Sainsbury's gives booklet on sex positions to eight-year-olds
By Andrew Levy
Last updated at 2:02 AM on 13th November 2008

They probably expected a goody bag of some sorts as a going home gift after the primary school trip to Sainsbury's.
But what the 42 children - not to mention their parents and teachers - did not expect was to be given a book with explicit illustrations of sexual positions.
And the advice under the dozen drawings, which feature in a section about saving water by 'bathing with a friend', reads: 'Save water. Have fun. Just get out before everything becomes wrinkled.'

Other inappropriate suggestions in the £5 book from Sainsbury's - whose advertising slogan is Try Something New Today - include encouraging readers to shave in intimate places, streaking, talking to strangers and handing out your phone number to five people on the street.

The book, entitled How To Change The World For A Fiver, was mistakenly given to the Year 4 pupils, aged between eight and nine, from Burton End primary, Suffolk, during a visit to the supermarket in Haverhill.
The blunder came to light only when a father heard his daughter giggling with friends as they flicked through the pages.
Engineer Andrew Dodd, 37, whose daughter Laura is eight, said: 'I was furious. It was extremely inappropriate and irresponsible to give to children.
'On the "Having Fun in the Bath" pages there were little drawings of about 12 sexual positions.

'But the worst bit was where it encouraged you to go and talk to strangers. It's the opposite message to what you should be giving to kids. I don't think the school realised what was in the book.
'The teachers were as horrified as we were when they saw it.
'Laura thought it was funny but thankfully she didn't really understand it.'

A Sainsbury's spokesman said: 'This was a well-intentioned mistake. It is a very nice book about how to make the world a better place but it is not targeted at children.
'The books were given to store staff by head office because they mentioned the company's positive environmental activities.

'A few spare copies were left over in the store which were given as presents to the visiting children.
'The cover looks like a kid's book. This was a mix-up and we would like to apologise for any distress caused. It certainly won't happen again.'

But Nick Seaton, of the Campaign for Real Education, criticised Sainsbury's for not making basic checks before handing out the books.
'This would be offensive to some adults, let alone children,' he said. 'This wasn't a mistake. It was an unacceptable failure on Sainsbury's part.
'Young minds are the most malleable and this incident has robbed a large number of children of their innocence. They should be ashamed.'

The book was produced by a company called We Are What We Do, which says its mission is to inspire people to change the world one small action at a time.
It also produces children's version of How To Change The World For £5 which is called Teach Your Granny to Text and has been sent to primary schools across the country.
Sainsbury's is sending Mr Dodd's daughter a £30 voucher to spend in the store.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -olds.html

Illustrated: do not leave your copy of the Mail lying about where children might see it! :D
 
In our control group on my left are the children who have not seen the book. On the right are a group who have. Now lovies, you have ten minutes to decorate your toilet-wall in a manner of your own choosing . . .

Now let's meet our judges. Mrs Poffle has been a school governor and puller of vinegar faces for over thirty years. Mr Twonky has a degree in social outrage and is a quote-rental practitioner by profession. Gertie Rapunzle is on the line from her home in a high tower somewhere above the Midlands.

Let's start with you, Gertie. How disgusted are you exactly?

"Well I'm utterly disgusted!"

Which group disgusts you more?

"Well you can't be more or less disgusted. They are all children aren't they? So I suppose they are all as bad as each other."

You don't think you should see the drawings?

"No. Certainly not. It would only encourage them!"

Mrs Poffle. You have seen the drawings. Can we ask for your first reaction.

"Well I'm a parent and I have a Small Person in Back pendant in the rear window of my mini-bus. I am therefore entitled to park anywhere I like so I know a thing or two about kids . . . "

And?

"Look at that horrible dripping cock!"

I think Lucy has drawn an elephant spraying a clown.

"Yes and the next thing you know he'll have his trousers down around his ankles and he'll be shitting in a bucket!"

Thank you. Mister Twonky?

"I'd like to spank that little eejit with the big ears over there!"

Yes but he is our Economic Editor.

"He's drawn a minge!"

It's a graph of the downturn in the economy. He thinks it will be short and sharp.

Thank you. So that's it. We're all disgusted here. Now let's look at a video of two dogs playing wheelbarrows. From the studio, goodnight! :eek!!!!:
 
I'll be interested to see James' take on this story..!

Lost in space: the astronauts' toolbox
Wednesday, 19 November 2008

A spacewalking astronaut accidentally let go of her tool bag after a grease gun inside it exploded, and helplessly watched as it floated away with everything inside.

It was one of the largest items ever to be lost by a spacewalker, and occurred during an unprecedented attempt to clean and lube a gummed-up joint on a solar panel.

Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper was just starting to work on the joint when the mishap occurred.

She said her grease gun exploded, getting the dark grey stuff all over a camera and her gloves. While wiping off herself, the white, backpack-size bag slipped out of her grip, and she lost all her other tools.

"Oh, great," she mumbled.

Ms Stefanyshyn-Piper and her fellow spacewalker, Stephen Bowen, then went on to finish their tasks in six hours and 52 minutes by sharing tools.

Mr Bowen had his own tool bag with another grease gun, putty knife and oven-like terry cloth mitts to wipe away metal grit from a clogged joint at the space station.

"Despite my little hiccup, or major hiccup, I think we did a good job out there," Ms Stefanyshyn-Piper said after returning to the space station.

Flight controllers were assessing the impact the lost bag would have on the next three planned spacewalks.

Earlier, the spacewalkers spotted a screw floating by, but were too far away to catch it. "I have no idea where it came from," Ms Stefanyshyn-Piper told Mission Control.

Mission Control said the screw was not considered a serious hazard, but did not immediately elaborate on the missing tool bag. Flight controllers were tracking its location in orbit.

The lost bag marred what had been a near-flawless mission by Endeavour and its seven-member crew.

Putting her disappointment aside, Ms Stefanyshyn-Piper - the first woman to be assigned as lead spacewalker for a shuttle flight - carried out her work on the joint with Mr Bowen.

For more than a year, the jammed joint has been unable to automatically point the right-side solar wings toward the sun for maximum energy production. The repair work - expected from the outset to be greasy and hand-intensive - is supposed to take up much of all four spacewalks.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/scien ... 25056.html
 
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