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Out Of Place Crumpet

Ah, the wallaby. We have lots of British wallaby stories on here. There is supposed to be an urban wallaby in my home town. :shock:

It's generally seen by drunks on their way home and New Year revellers, so I'm not holding my breath.
 
OldTimeRadio said:
A schoolboy peeks into his packed lunch on the way to school, discovers a crumpet, hates crumpets, and so gives it a toss a far as he can.
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If it had been a scone or an apple, that would have been a good theory. But no-one eats crumpets cold. Not in Blighty, anyway. (Maybe they do in the colonies. :) )Crumpets aren't something you'd have in a packed lunch. They're something you'd heat up then eat right away. Hence I believe the most likely explanation is that it was stolen by some kind of domestic animal. Probably not a dog, though. Dogs will eat anything. Cats are much more choosy.
 
graylien said:
Cats are much more choosy.
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Quite - you'd never catch a cat eating a cold crumpet.

Nice to see IHTM bubbling along.

edit - embarrassing code cock-up rectified, madam
 
Am I the only one disappointed that the crumpet in question is the toasted snack item and not carry on style crumpet

Anyhoo I would guess a large bird (maybe a gull if you live near the sea) ripped open a bin bag and salvaged a stale crumpet, but dropped its prize en-route to a quiet spot to eat it.
 
AMPHIARAUS said:
Am I the only one disappointed that the crumpet in question is the toasted snack item and not carry on style crumpet
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No, you're not.
 
The_Master_666 said:
Any chance of a photograph of this crumpet please?
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Sorry, I binned it. However, it was just like any other crumpet, I assure you. If you've seen one, you seen 'em all.
 
graylien said:
OldTimeRadio said:
A schoolboy peeks into his packed lunch on the way to school, discovers a crumpet, hates crumpets, and so gives it a toss a far as he can.
Click to expand...

If it had been a scone or an apple, that would have been a good theory. But no-one eats crumpets cold. Not in Blighty, anyway. (Maybe they do in the colonies. :) )Crumpets aren't something you'd have in a packed lunch. They're something you'd heat up then eat right away. Hence I believe the most likely explanation is that it was stolen by some kind of domestic animal. Probably not a dog, though. Dogs will eat anything. Cats are much more choosy.
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You'd be suprised. I once knew a girl who had cold baked beans in her packed lunch.
 
Yup. Someone I know very well had a cheese, onion and cold baked beans sandwich for tea last night. :shock:
 
Nowt wrong wi' cold baked beans - especially with a splash of worcestershire sauce (or lime pickle, if you want something more exotic).

8)
 
Hi Greyalien

If it had been a scone or an apple, that would have been a good theory. But no-one eats crumpets cold.
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The humourous writer Tim Moore does, liberally coated with picalili (blech!)

See his book Do Not Pass Go
 
Hmm. Putting a cold, toasted, unbuttered crumpet in a lunchbox would be tantamount to parental negligence, so I don't think that can be the case. How was it toasted? Was it merely golden brown, or correctly done - dark brown on the bottom, shrunk to 2/3 of its original size, burnt on the edges?

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they toast their crumpets.
 
May I ask for a little clarification here - what is a crumpet? OK, I know what a crumpet looks like - all the info from Wikipedia - and how it's eaten - but is it different? It looks exactly like the half of a split English muffin - is it sufficiently different in taste that the same person would on occasion eat crumpets, and on a different occasion English muffins? Or maybe people take sides - like Spurs vs Arsenal fans - and only eat one of the two?
Inquiring minds etc... :D
 
A crumpet doesn't really look anything like an English muffin Elk, perhaps you've only seen weird looking muffins. A crumpet is full of little holes, a muffin isn't, a crumpet has a chewier texture, a bit like a very tasty bath sponge if one can imagine such a thing. Muffins are chewy too, but in a different, less bouncy way. :)
 
I think black elk means the American breakfast bread-thingy called an "english muffin" and not a "regular" muffin. I'm not sure they have them in other countries, since I've never been outside of the US. Try Googling "english muffin" (with quotations) or "thomas english muffin" (Thomas being the most popular brand here).

Now that I have looked at both english muffins and crumpets, I see that they do look rather similar... but not exactly the same. And english muffins definitely have the "tasty bath sponge" thing going on! (That's actually an excellent description.)

Now I am wondering what a crumpet tastes like in comparison.

BTW- forgive me beakboo, if you already knew what black elk meant and just don't think they look alike :D
 
4460621_b5cb6514f7_m.jpg


Here is what a crumpet looks like, with butter.

Notice that the butter is melting, which it always does when the crumpet is correctly deployed.
 
yes, they do indeed look quite similar. Except the holes on an "english" muffin are more "open" (hard to explain, but probably from being cut in half) and the top is not as smooth. This is killing me now. I must eat a crumpet and compare.
 
Nope, crumpets are not sliced. They are toasted as they are, smothered in butter and sometimes jam or honey too, and then eaten hot.
 
PinkTaffy said:
BTW- forgive me beakboo, if you already knew what black elk meant and just don't think they look alike :D
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I did and i do, or rather I don't. :)
An english muffin is also chewy and bouncy, but much denser than a crumpet, which is litterally riddled with holes running from top to bottom. In some places crumpets are called pikelets and come in an oblong shape, you have to have them dripping with melting butter though or there isn't any point IMO. I haven't had one for years.
 
Hi Beakboo

In some places crumpets are called pikelets and come in an oblong shape,
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Well, the picklets I had in the past were circular, exactly the same crumpet mixture but thinner and flatter. As a consequence they toast more crisply than your regular BSC (British Standard Crumpet).

You can by finger crumpets (oblong), toaster crumpets (square) or regular BSC, but all made to the same recipe.

Muffins (or English muffins if you prefer) are more like a bread dough mixture, do not have the holes running through and you have to slice them in half to toast them (think egg McMuffin).

In Victorian times you would by them hot from the muffin man who would sell them from a tray on his head, and you would pull them open with your fingers and eat them still warm from the bakery; sadly unbuttered - unless you carried butter around in your pocket. Unlikely in those days.

...aah, the nostalgia...
 
You can still buy muffins from the muffin man, if you reside in the vicinity of Drury Lane.
 
escargot1 said:
Here is what a crumpet looks like, with butter.

Notice that the butter is melting, which it always does when the crumpet is correctly deployed.
Click to expand...

That crumpet isn't nearly toasted enough. It should be about 3 seconds off burning for the best possible taste and texture.
 
(...goes to say something, thinks better of it with slight shake of head to self and slinks off again...)
 
Just to add to the confusion for the American posters, the US version of the Muffin doesn't IMO taste the same as ours in the UK.
I've no idea why - different flour or yeast maybe?
 
And Muffin the mule -

no, let's not go there.
 
Oh no, don't add pikelets to the confusion!

:? Those Thomas English muffins don't look right. They look like the lovechild of a proper muffin and a proper crumpet.
 
I believe that crumpets are made on a hotplate, where as English muffins (or simply "muffins" if you're in England) are baked in an oven on a sheet. Crumpets taste more like sourdough, they have a curious rubbery tang to them, whereas English muffins are blander in flavour and slightly breadier.

The correct way to serve a crumpet is, as Minda says, very close to being burnt, and a bit shrunk. Butter should be dripping through to the bottom of the item. Cheese on top of a crumpet is OK, gentleman's relish is better.

What do you mean you've never heard of gentleman's relish?
 
CodenameThrow said:
What do you mean you've never heard of gentleman's relish?
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I was hungry before. Now I'm very hungry. Gentleman's Relish is absolutely delicious.
 
I used to make crumpets regularly. They are made of batter, which you pour into well-greased 'crumpet rings' in a big flat pan. The holes are made when bubbles rise from the bottom of the circles of batter.

Possibly the easiest, cheapest, quickest, most delicious thing you can make. The kids and I used have a production line going - mix, pour, cook, remove, toast, butter, jam, mix, pour, cook, remove, toast, butter, jam... :D
 
stuneville said:
(...goes to say something, thinks better of it with slight shake of head to self and slinks off again...)
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I know - I bet you were going to comment on how frightening this particular story is!

:lol:
 
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