Parents' Advice

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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I'm starting this chat so we can all share sage and not so sage advice our parents gave us.

These are just off the top of my head but I'm sure we'll all be reminded of more along the way ..

Speak softly and carry a big stick - Dad
If he jumped off a bridge, would you do that as well!? - Mum
Put the lid back on the bottle - Dad
You can only ever do your best, no one can ever ask more than that - Mum
Treat others as you'd want to be treated yourself - Mum and Dad
Avoid anything that ends with ist or ism - Dad

.. and then there was

Where's Mum? .. she's run off with a black man - Dad
I don't trust men with thin lips .. they're usually kiddie fiddlers - Mum
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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I can't remember my parents giving me soundbite advice like that.
 

Bigphoot2

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I'm not going to buy (insert any desirable foodstuff here) you'll only eat it. - my mum.
It's because your hair is too long - My mum's answer to any complaint of illness.
and
Never respect anyone who tells you to respect them - my granddad
 

Iris

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Mum: Never trust a man with blonde hair. Have no idea why but my next sister and I married dark haired men. My youngest sister married a blonde so maybe she didn't get the message.
Dad: Noone is better than anyone else, it's just an accident of birth.
 

Shady

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Wheres such and such gone?- gone to see a man about a dog,- everyone in family

TBH i didnt get a lot of advice either
 

Shady

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Ramon, why do you hate farmers so much?
 

pandacracker

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Never judged any one by their skin colour, age, disability etc. Judge them by their humanity.

Travel, see the world.

Live with some one first before you get married.

Both parents told us this on more than one occasion.
 

escargot

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"If you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me."

At Alton Towers years when my kids were bombing around on a bouncy castle I shouted that at them. A passing bloke remarked to his companion 'Hear her? How can they run to her with a broken leg? That's stupid! etc etc' until he was out of earshot.
 

Mythopoeika

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Ah... I remember a bit of advice from my parents now.
In response to my complaint that I was being bullied at school:

Mum: Be a good Christian and turn the other cheek. They'll give up and go away.
Dad: Punch 'em right back!

Dad's advice worked.
 

escargot

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The only parental advice I can remember was from my mother, who informed me that when people touch themselves down there they get sores on their faces so everyone can tell. Even at the age of about 10 I could tell this must be rubbish and she was telling lies.

Oh yeah, just one other juicy morsel, from my father: when you're tidying your work area you clean and put away your tools first.
 
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