Floyd1

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Reminds me of this great song,
'Nizlopi - JCB Song'

I was thinking about this the other day! There was a film on about Bruce Lee. It then meant I spent all the next day saying ''be like water'' in a terrible Chinese accent. I'm really too old to be doing that, I admit.
 

ChasFink

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It's one thing to say that you Dad is Bruce Lee when you're 5, but when you're 45?
Actually, if a 5-year-old walked up to me now and said his Dad is Bruce Lee, I'd be interested. Not because it's likely, but because of the fascinating metaphysical implications in the unlikely case it is true.
 

Floyd1

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l used to be good mates with a bloke who’s a compulsive liar. l still see him most weeks (when society was normal, all that time ago), but now l just nod distantly at him; at most l’ll pass the time of day, but that’s it.

The bizarre thing about him is that he’s actually done enough in real life to dine out on a different true anecdote every night for the rest of his life!

Here are some things about him that l know for a fact and have verified with my own eyes:

  • He’s a retired senior officer in the UK armed forces
  • His unit was...very much out of the ordinary (is all that l’ll say)
  • He held significant posts of authority in said unit
  • He has worked closely enough with the SAS to get a Christmas card from them
  • He has been arrested by the Russian army, and has a photo to prove it
Since retirement he has:

  • Been headhunted by a large Japanese concern to lecture on his speciality in Japan (more than once, as a long-term resident)
  • Been employed using his special skills in a reputable group’s search for the Loch Ness monster, and has appeared on UK telly while doing it
  • Been employed as an expert witness in serious UK Crown Court cases
- Among other things.

You’d think that was enough, wouldn’t you? But no, he has to tell the most transparent, bullshit whoppers. Repeatedly. To people who’d know better, like me.

An example? He was once stationed at a well-known UK armed forces base, and asserted to me that staff there had noticed that one large building seemed to be 40 feet longer, when measured from the outside, than from the inside. When a false wall at the end was knocked down, it revealed an intact WW2 German Tiger tank! He and l both have a keen and well-informed interest in such things. Even as he told me this load of old b******s, he must have known that l knew it was a LOB, but he spieled it off nonetheless...

Another? He had a mate in the RAF, who had a Triumph Spitfire with the personalised number plate FLY 1T. Said mate had been killed when he approached an (obstacle) far too fast, and instead of braking/steering, had reflexively “pulled back on the stick” to try and gain altitude. (a) Cobblers! and (b) How was that established? Do Triumphs have “black boxes” fitted?

For almost two decades l just looked blankly at him as he reeled off whopper after whopper, then one day l just decided, “Enough”, and cut him off.

It’s a damn shame as he’s an intelligent, fun, generous, diverting bloke, but l’d reached my limit.

As another mate of mine used to say about a bullshitter he used to know, “If you’ve got a black cat, he’s got one that’s blacker.”

maximus otter
Now that's very odd considering all the stuff he really had done. Very strange behaviour.
 

escargot

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But what's the point in telling everyone, as an adult, that you've climed Everest/toured with Led Zeppelin/been married to the woman out of Dollar/been in the SAS... when you know it's all bull? That's what I could never understand with these types and I've met a few of them. Even went out with one (although she was from Crewe, so...). It's one thing to say that you Dad is Bruce Lee when you're 5, but when you're 45? - I suppose that's where the 'compulsive' bit comes in!
Sometimes I've had the impression liars're telling themselves these stories.
Like, they wish they could do these things because telling others about them is part of the fun, so they miss out all the hard work and cut to the self-aggrandising chase. :chuckle:

In that context it doesn't matter whether they're believed or not. Spinning the yarn is the whole point.
It's not harmless as they can seriously drop themselves in it but that's their problem.
 

Floyd1

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Sometimes I've had the impression liars're telling themselves these stories.
Like, they wish they could do these things because telling others about them is part of the fun, so they miss out all the hard work and cut to the self-aggrandising chase. :chuckle:

In that context it doesn't matter whether they're believed or not. Spinning the yarn is the whole point.
It's not harmless as they can seriously drop themselves in it but that's their problem.
Yes, I agree. And you know what they say- to be a good liar you have to have a good memory. That's why I'd be no good in MI6.
Diabolical Murderous Dictator; ''What school did you go to?'' Me; ''What's that?''. DMD; ''I said what school did you go to?''. Me; ''Me, what school did I go to?, ''What school did I go to''? Er, er, er er umm umm...''
 

escargot

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Yes, I agree. And you know what they say- to be a good liar you have to have a good memory. That's why I'd be no good in MI6.
Diabolical Murderous Dictator; ''What school did you go to?'' Me; ''What's that?''. DMD; ''I said what school did you go to?''. Me; ''Me, what school did I go to?, ''What school did I go to''? Er, er, er er umm umm...''
David Niven wrote about a restaurateur he knew called Michael Romanoff, a con man with a prodigious memory. Nobody could catch him out. :chuckle:

Wikipedia has a page on him which mentions the cricket match conundrum. Makes your brain 'urt. :)
 

catseye

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Sometimes I've had the impression liars're telling themselves these stories.
Like, they wish they could do these things because telling others about them is part of the fun, so they miss out all the hard work and cut to the self-aggrandising chase. :chuckle:

In that context it doesn't matter whether they're believed or not. Spinning the yarn is the whole point.
It's not harmless as they can seriously drop themselves in it but that's their problem.
I work with a bloke who seems to be on the lowest possible rung of this ladder. In that he doesn't lie compulsively, but he does interrupt conversations in such a way as to try to be 'one up' on the participants. For example, a customer might be asking me about my latest book - he will chime in with 'I wrote a book once, shortest book in history, four words, Chapter One, The End.' Now it's obviously aimed as being 'Just A Joke', but it effectively stops the conversation dead (preventing me, who is now gritting her teeth like crazy, from promoting the new book) and forces all participants to smile in a 'jolly, we know it's just a joke, ha ha, very funny' way.

It's almost like a system of control, which is similar, I think, to the compulsive lie. 'You must all listen to me and agree with what I say.'

Poor chap is generally well-liked, just not very bright.
 

Nosmo King

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I work with a bloke who seems to be on the lowest possible rung of this ladder. In that he doesn't lie compulsively, but he does interrupt conversations in such a way as to try to be 'one up' on the participants. For example, a customer might be asking me about my latest book - he will chime in with 'I wrote a book once, shortest book in history, four words, Chapter One, The End.' Now it's obviously aimed as being 'Just A Joke', but it effectively stops the conversation dead (preventing me, who is now gritting her teeth like crazy, from promoting the new book) and forces all participants to smile in a 'jolly, we know it's just a joke, ha ha, very funny' way.

It's almost like a system of control, which is similar, I think, to the compulsive lie. 'You must all listen to me and agree with what I say.'

Poor chap is generally well-liked, just not very bright.
A bit like 'Baldricks magnificent octopus'

 

Ogdred Weary

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I work with a bloke who seems to be on the lowest possible rung of this ladder. In that he doesn't lie compulsively, but he does interrupt conversations in such a way as to try to be 'one up' on the participants. For example, a customer might be asking me about my latest book - he will chime in with 'I wrote a book once, shortest book in history, four words, Chapter One, The End.' Now it's obviously aimed as being 'Just A Joke', but it effectively stops the conversation dead (preventing me, who is now gritting her teeth like crazy, from promoting the new book) and forces all participants to smile in a 'jolly, we know it's just a joke, ha ha, very funny' way.

It's almost like a system of control, which is similar, I think, to the compulsive lie. 'You must all listen to me and agree with what I say.'

Poor chap is generally well-liked, just not very bright.

I know a woman who constantly interrupts, she has to have something to contribute to what's being said and will sometimes come out with something every time someone else makes a statement. Virtually everything is an anecdote about something that has happened to her or her family, almost always unfortunate, from the mild to the very extreme. Someone pointing out a large group of nettles prompted: "I fell in some nettles when I was a kid and was stuck from head to toe". I have no idea what percentage is true, I dare say a lot of it and the exaggerations and untruths are more likely fantasies than outright lies.

She's a nice person but the relentless non-sequiturs constantly derail conversations where they don't grind them to a halt.
 

escargot

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I know a woman who constantly interrupts, she has to have something to contribute to what's being said and will sometimes come out with something every time someone else makes a statement. Virtually everything is an anecdote about something that has happened to her or her family, almost always unfortunate, from the mild to the very extreme. Someone pointing out a large group of nettles prompted: "I fell in some nettles when I was a kid and was stuck from head to toe". I have no idea what percentage is true, I dare say a lot of it and the exaggerations and untruths are more likely fantasies than outright lies.

She's a nice person but the relentless non-sequiturs constantly derail conversations where they don't grind them to a halt.
Y'all need a strategy to deal with that. It's anti-social.
 

Ogdred Weary

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Y'all need a strategy to deal with that. It's anti-social.

Yeah, I totally agree. She's new and is always friendly and upbeat, even when talking about some horrific stuff but it is maddening and warps everything around her. I suspect it's a lack of confidence and a lack of social skills but ends up affecting everyone else, I wander away or ignore where possible, not sure where else to go with it as she's genuinely nice so can't really tell her to shut up.
 

escargot

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Yeah, I totally agree. She's new and is always friendly and upbeat, even when talking about some horrific stuff but it is maddening and warps everything around her. I suspect it's a lack of confidence and a lack of social skills but ends up affecting everyone else, I wander away or ignore where possible, not sure where else to go with it as she's genuinely nice so can't really tell her to shut up.
When I've had this at work I've sometimes said 'Aaaand THERE 'e goes with 'is two penn'orth!'
When they reply they get 'You always have something to say!' with a smile. It does make people think twice. If they are capable of thought.

Or if it's constant interruptions, they've got a flat out 'DO you mind?' as it's really rude.
Whatever the reason for their rudeness you don't have to put up with it. If they need to learn manners you're doing them a favour.
 

catseye

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Yeah, I totally agree. She's new and is always friendly and upbeat, even when talking about some horrific stuff but it is maddening and warps everything around her. I suspect it's a lack of confidence and a lack of social skills but ends up affecting everyone else, I wander away or ignore where possible, not sure where else to go with it as she's genuinely nice so can't really tell her to shut up.
Is she neurotypical? My friend's son (who has Asperger's) cannot do 'conversation', so when people are talking he will interrupt with a random non sequiteur about something his cat did that day, or whatever is in the top of his mind at the time. He knows that conversation consist of one person saying something, then another person replying, but he can't get to grips with the fact that the reply ought to be on a similar topic to that under discussion. He thinks one person talks, then another person talks. Your person sounds as though she's slightly further in in understanding that the contribution should be 'on topic' but lacks the social skills to interpret 'on topic'.
 

Ogdred Weary

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Is she neurotypical? My friend's son (who has Asperger's) cannot do 'conversation', so when people are talking he will interrupt with a random non sequiteur about something his cat did that day, or whatever is in the top of his mind at the time. He knows that conversation consist of one person saying something, then another person replying, but he can't get to grips with the fact that the reply ought to be on a similar topic to that under discussion. He thinks one person talks, then another person talks. Your person sounds as though she's slightly further in in understanding that the contribution should be 'on topic' but lacks the social skills to interpret 'on topic'.

Probably neurotypical, complaining about it makes her sound worse than she actually is but it is striking how much everything has to relate to something that has happened to her.

When I've had this at work I've sometimes said 'Aaaand THERE 'e goes with 'is two penn'orth!'
When they reply they get 'You always have something to say!' with a smile. It does make people think twice. If they are capable of thought.

Or if it's constant interruptions, they've got a flat out 'DO you mind?' as it's really rude.
Whatever the reason for their rudeness you don't have to put up with it. If they need to learn manners you're doing them a favour.

In fairness perhaps I'm slightly misusing the term "interrupt", it's more a case of jumping in as soon as someone finished speaking, rather than breaking someone off mid-flow, though she does do that as well.

These (usually brief) anecdotes make up at least 50% of what she says, though she will reply to others or comment on things said without necessarily referring to herself.
 

Nosmo King

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Probably neurotypical, complaining about it makes her sound worse than she actually is but it is striking how much everything has to relate to something that has happened to her.



In fairness perhaps I'm slightly misusing the term "interrupt", it's more a case of jumping in as soon as someone finished speaking, rather than breaking someone off mid-flow, though she does do that as well.

These (usually brief) anecdotes make up at least 50% of what she says, though she will reply to others or comment on things said without necessarily referring to herself.
I'm always in favour of the 'ignore what the but'er in'er has just said', continue the conversation you were having with, 'anyway as I was saying...'
 

Ogdred Weary

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I'm always in favour of the 'ignore what the but'er in'er has just said', continue the conversation you were having with, 'anyway as I was saying...'

I do something similar most of the time: I either reply to what the previous person said ignoring her comments or repeat what I've said if she came in after me and no one else has replied. I feel a little guilty though this is rapidly fading. It is a bit of a conundrum where someone is harmless or actively nice but just deeply annoying.
 
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