Good point, although I'd argue that the latter lies for social gain. I've known a fair few people like that and there are many posting across social media.
There may be an overlap of course, but I think there are two things going on here.
1) "If I say this, even though I know it is untrue, I will get more followers, more status, and more doors might open for me..." This is lying for some form of gain which exists outside of the mind and body of the person telling the lie. There is an "objective" element to the gain. Someone else can see the "rational purpose" of the lie.
2) "If I say this, I'll get a dopamine hit and feel good for a fleeting moment..." (Of course, the compulsive/pathological liar doesn't think it through in these terms, but this is what I think is going on beneath the surface.) An outside observer can see no outside objective benefit for the liar. Everything the liar gains is subjective and internal.
Having said that, I think I might add a third category to my list, because I have met and dealt with people who simply lose track of the truth. Something is true to them at the moment they say it, and they can say the opposite a moment later and not worry about the contradiction.
I encountered this last category many times in my professional life as an insurance claims investigator, and particularly as a fraud investigator. I am now semi-retired and work part time in customer service and I see the same phenomenon in this new context.
I interpret it as customers who are combining "method acting" and "role playing". They are acting in the manner in which they have seen or heard others behaving in similar situations either in real life or on TV or in films. It is not so much planned behaviour as learned or copied behaviour.
It seems to me that there is no deliberate planned dishonesty in some of these cases. It is just that they are so focussed on their desired outcome that they lose their sense of proportion and go into a spiral of resounding phrases and exaggeration.
I hear phrases like this: "I swear on my children's life ..." "You will put me through to your manager ..." and (hilariously from some thick scrote complaining about a £20 tool that he's broken by using it incorrectly) "You will hear from my legal team."
I get customers telling me that they "spend thousands" with my company when I have immediate access to their customer records and can see they've only bought one thing ever and that was about £200.
I get customers who tell me they are "Losing £1,000 a day" because their £250 piece of equipment is faulty. "You're asking me to lose £1,000 a day for 3 weeks while you inspect it to verify the fault?"
The reply to this last one is, "Well, you could buy one for £250, save £20,750 in the next three weeks, and then have a spare in case anything else goes wrong. If it's such a key piece of equipment, you need a business contingency plan." They hate it when you deploy logic!
Another personal favourite is what I call the [company name] paradox:
"It's 11 months old, sir, we need to inspect it if you say it's faulty."
"But I've only used it three times. It's obviously a fault"
"OK, well that should be apparent at the time of inspection, so there's no need to worry."
"But I can't wait for you to inspect it; I need it every day."
There are many other common examples. I think these people are neither
lying dishonestly nor
pathological liars.
Instead, I think they are being
honest to the extent that they are trying to get something that they sincerely, but wrongly, believe they are entitled to. However, they are habitually saying something that is demonstrably untrue because that is the sort of thing that they believe you are meant to say. It's almost like they feel they are participating in a ritual that has to be gone through, and they have to say the words to get the result.
True story: Many years ago in the fraud team, I was dealing with a customer. Various colleagues had spoken to him, and in each call, his claim had grown a little bit bigger. Over several months, it had increased incrementally from a couple of thousand Pounds, to something approaching £20,000.
At the initial value, we would have had very little difficulty making the claim, but had been asked to provide basic evidence such as receipts. He had reacted with suspicion and thought we were trying to knock his claim down, so he added a bit. We had reacted suspiciously to the increase and asked for more evidence, and a vicious circle had developed. By the time the claim had increased by a factor of about 10 to a figure of nearly £20,000, it was firmly in the territory of "Full investigation needed."
I rang hi and spoke frankly but kindly. The relief I heard in his voice was the relief of a man who had been understood and who could see the hope of a reset on the mistakes he had made. It was not the triumph of a man who had "got away with it". We settled the claim at around £2,000, avoided more than £2,000 worth of investigative costs, and parted as friends.
This was a guy who had said many things that were untrue (mainly adding to the bottom line of an initially genuine claim) but not with dishonest intent. He was simply trying to get what he was entitled to and was trying, in his own mind, to beat a system that was trying to deprive him of his rights. His naive role playing of an aggrieved customer had simply dug him in deeper.
