People Who Feel Wrong

[escargot]

My, er, situation will soon improve as there are apparently firm grounds to sack Mr Angry for reasons that have nothing to do with me.

Chatted with a female colleague yesterday who is terrified of him. When she comes in late at night she rings a male friend and talks on the phone the whole time she's in the building so there'll be a witness of anything untoward.

He always asks her if she's the last in. I can guess why. Creepy.

 

[Swifty]

My, er, situation will soon improve as there are apparently firm grounds to sack Mr Angry for reasons that have nothing to do with me.

Chatted with a female colleague yesterday who is terrified of him. When she comes in late at night she rings a male friend and talks on the phone the whole time she's in the building so there'll be a witness of anything untoward.

He always asks her if she's the last in. I can guess why. Creepy.

Cool .. I've worked for a few places that have had to find 'that' loophole to get rid of nutters more quickly .. result .. and also large spanner in your back pocket until he's gone in case you have to fix your bike quickly until then.

 

[GNC]

My, er, situation will soon improve as there are apparently firm grounds to sack Mr Angry for reasons that have nothing to do with me.

Chatted with a female colleague yesterday who is terrified of him. When she comes in late at night she rings a male friend and talks on the phone the whole time she's in the building so there'll be a witness of anything untoward.

He always asks her if she's the last in. I can guess why. Creepy.

This guy sounds like he needs sectioned. Seriously.

 

[escargot]

This guy sounds like he needs sectioned. Seriously.

I agree. Haven't gone into details but it's obvious he's not right.

Techy met me out at 10pm tonight as usual.

 

[IbisNibs]

Absolute bull's eye spot on accurate description of the worst co-worker I ever had. She actually managed to get one of the best workers there out the door permanently.

I was fortunate that it happened very rarely in my day, but it seems common in the current climate.

People like this have been rare in my experience as well, and I must stand witness to the young people I've worked with who have overwhelmingly been smart, kind and wonderful co-workers. I hope your job is immune to what you find negative in the current climate.

Anyway, the thing about people like this is, their constant need to tell stories, to invent their own reality, is born in trauma. Sustained trauma, or as it's now diagnosed, complex-ptsd, does all sorts of things to the mind, and the reality for the person often breaks down, leaving them unable to sustain relationships or hold down jobs.

I often feel compassion for people who are jerks like my ex-co-worker, because they can't access what is good in the world and become isolated, or trapped within the dynamics of wretched companionship. One of the outstanding weird things about this one woman I worked with though, who ingratiated herself to the boss so well and talked almost exclusively about herself in ridiculously glowing terms, was that she inspired me with absolutely no compassion at all. My own lack of pity for her surprised me. It was as if she was too self-righteous to feel any sense of loss over her co-workers not liking and not trusting her, and, since she experienced no feeling of loss, there was nothing for me to pick up on and empathize with.

 

[IbisNibs]

When she comes in late at night she rings a male friend and talks on the phone the whole time she's in the building so there'll be a witness of anything untoward.

Now THAT'S a hostile workplace!
Geez Escargot, I'm glad he'll be out of there soon. I earnestly hope he doesn't lurk outdoors! Excellent advice to have legal restrictions on his being near there, whoever advised that.

 

[PeteS]

Fortunately Ibis, I've long since left the work environment. I do miss the interaction of the great people I met over the years through work, but the stories I hear of what goes on in a modern workplace makes me relieved I no longer need the daily grind! I agree most people are fantastic, but the odd head case of whatever variety seems to make life hell for some. Compounded I think by the "I need it now" mentality.

 

[Bigphoot2]

Fortunately Ibis, I've long since left the work environment. I do miss the interaction of the great people I met over the years through work, but the stories I hear of what goes on in a modern workplace makes me relieved I no longer need the daily grind! I agree most people are fantastic, but the odd head case of whatever variety seems to make life hell for some. Compounded I think by the "I need it now" mentality.

I escaped a couple of years ago and one thing I discovered was that the most nasty, complaining, snide, back-stabbing, two-faced idiots I had to put up with have now decided that as I no longer work beside them, it's okay to be nice now.
"Hi! How are you? Good to see you, are you enjoying your retirement? We really miss you.."
"Fuck off."

 

[escargot]

Last night as I walked to the depot I couldn't see Techy right away - he normally waits outside - so I had my phone ready to ring 999 if necessary. I'm not taking a single chance.

The bloke was about to be sacked anyway for various troublemaking when I first complained a couple of years back. Unfortunately there was a change of management so it was dropped and he stayed on.

He was 'spoken to' instead and told not to talk to the women. That wasn't going to help as the damage was done, in that we knew about his invisible girlfriend issues. Nothing he could say could change that.

Since then we've had to put up with it however we can. I get met out, X colleague talks on her phone and the other female late worker just blanks him and gets in and out ASAP. Our male colleagues often stay on to chaperone the women if they're around.

 

[Dick Turpin]

Last night as I walked to the depot I couldn't see Techy right away - he normally waits outside - so I had my phone ready to ring 999 if necessary. I'm not taking a single chance.

The bloke was about to be sacked anyway for various troublemaking when I first complained a couple of years back. Unfortunately there was a change of management so it was dropped and he stayed on.

He was 'spoken to' instead and told not to talk to the women. That wasn't going to help as the damage was done, in that we knew about his invisible girlfriend issues. Nothing he could say could change that.

Since then we've had to put up with it however we can. I get met out, X colleague talks on her phone and the other female late worker just blanks him and gets in and out ASAP. Our male colleagues often stay on to chaperone the women if they're around.

What an awful situation to be in Scargy. The creep should be sectioned.

Had a mate who had a guy working in his department, that was ex-Army. Framed pictures on his desk of him in his Parachute Regiment uniform – Northern Ireland, Iraq, Afghanistan etc.

He was very intimidating to all members of staff including Management, so they decided they wanted rid of him, but apart from being a scary guy they didn’t have anything on him.

Then one bright spark asked the IT guys to check his office computer’s hard drive and browsing history.

Porn, Porn and more Porn - that gave them the excuse they were looking for.

Once he was sacked, it was found out that the Soldier in the pictures on his desk were not him, but his identical twin Brother.

What a prat eh..

Good luck Scargy and keep your wits about you.

 

[escargot]

What an awful situation to be in Scargy. The creep should be sectioned.

Had a mate who had a guy working in his department, that was ex-Army. Framed pictures on his desk of him in his Parachute Regiment uniform – Northern Ireland, Iraq, Afghanistan etc.

He was very intimidating to all members of staff including Management, so they decided they wanted rid of him, but apart from being a scary guy they didn’t have anything on him.

Then one bright spark asked the IT guys to check his office computer’s hard drive and browsing history.

Porn, Porn and more Porn - that gave them the excuse they were looking for.

Once he was sacked, it was found out that the Soldier in the pictures on his desk were not him, but his identical twin Brother.

What a prat eh..

Good luck Scargy and keep your wits about you.

Hahaha, brilliant!

Our Mr Angry is very tall and beefy and can come across as quite intimidating. On t'other 'and some of our lot're equally tasty. The odd former Marine and a couple of old squaddies, and some longserving employees of the same industry who've had a brawl or two.
(It's one of those 'pick a window, Pal!' services!)
He wouldn't kick off with them, or if he did he'd be sorry.

 

[Swifty]

What an awful situation to be in Scargy. The creep should be sectioned.

Had a mate who had a guy working in his department, that was ex-Army. Framed pictures on his desk of him in his Parachute Regiment uniform – Northern Ireland, Iraq, Afghanistan etc.

He was very intimidating to all members of staff including Management, so they decided they wanted rid of him, but apart from being a scary guy they didn’t have anything on him.

Then one bright spark asked the IT guys to check his office computer’s hard drive and browsing history.

Porn, Porn and more Porn - that gave them the excuse they were looking for.

Once he was sacked, it was found out that the Soldier in the pictures on his desk were not him, but his identical twin Brother.

What a prat eh..

Good luck Scargy and keep your wits about you.

I've worked with three ex military and they will work themselves until collapse unless you intervene .. I had to 'order' a hard bastard Romanian, ex military, current Norwich bouncer to drink a rehydration drink last week, I got our head chef to stand next to me until he did it. Another one somewhere else was my boss who was shaking, leaning over a sink trying to eat a chip so I went to personnel and asked them to 'order' him to go home.

 

[Dick Turpin]

Hahaha, brilliant!

Our Mr Angry is very tall and beefy and can come across as quite intimidating. On t'other 'and some of our lot're equally tasty. The odd former Marine and a couple of old squaddies, and some longserving employees of the same industry who've had a brawl or two.
(It's one of those 'pick a window, Pal!' services!)
He wouldn't kick off with them, or if he did he'd be sorry.

That's why he doesn't kick off with them. He's a frickin coward at heart like all bullies.

I despise people like that.

 

[escargot]

That's why he doesn't kick off with them. He's a frickin coward at heart like all bullies.

I despise people like that.

Spot-on! My male colleague whom he was bawling out last week is barely 5' tall and not a known Kung Fu-er. Mr Angry 'allowed' my good friend K to talk him down from his rage. Dunno how long that took but K wasn't on overtime!

 

[Dick Turpin]

Spot-on! My male colleague whom he was bawling out last week is barely 5' tall and not a known Kung Fu-er. Mr Angry 'allowed' my good friend K to talk him down from his rage. Dunno how long that took but K wasn't on overtime!

I met a guy a few times (he’s dead now) that was a very well-known east end prize fighter. They even made a film about his life a few years back.
Now he would be very very very intimidating, but only to people who were intimidating others.

He would bully the bullies, bless him, and there was fcuk all they could do about it.

 

[Bigphoot2]

I had a manager who claimed to have been a Tornado pilot in the RAF. When he found out another member of staff had flown Phantoms in the RAF he made a point of avoiding him, probably because this "Tornado pilot" was standing outside one day and a Tornado flew over and he asked me if it was Concorde! Then a sales rep - also ex-RAF - told us the pic of the manager with "his squadron" was actually a bunch of air cadets.

The Phantom pilot finally caught up with him in the canteen and started asking where he had been based. Every time Phantom pilot mentioned a place, Pretend Pilot had been there. He mentioned one airbase and Pretend Pilot said: "Oh I know it well."
"What did you do there?"
"Flew Tornadoes."
"A lot of pilots didn't like taking off or landing there."
"I never had any bother."
"You must be a hell of a pilot then because there's no runway there!"

After that he started claiming that the RAF story was a front to cover his real military career in the SAS - then after a few drinks he was in a special unit the SAS went running to when they couldn't deal with a situation.

What really pissed us off was that the senior management idiots who gave him the job still believed the crap he was spouting. They didn't want to fire him because it would reflect on their judgment.

 

[Swifty]

Spot-on! My male colleague whom he was bawling out last week is barely 5' tall and not a known Kung Fu-er. Mr Angry 'allowed' my good friend K to talk him down from his rage. Dunno how long that took but K wasn't on overtime!

kick him in the nuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrts ..

 

[Austin Popper]

I've worked with three ex military and they will work themselves until collapse unless you intervene .. I had to 'order' a hard bastard Romanian, ex military, current Norwich bouncer to drink a rehydration drink last week, I got our head chef to stand next to me until he did it. Another one somewhere else was my boss who was shaking, leaning over a sink trying to eat a chip so I went to personnel and asked them to 'order' him to go home.

Years ago, I lived across the street from a retired fellow who had been a Marine. Mike had served in the Korean Conflict, as he always put it. He was a hell of a guy, still strong as a bull even in his late sixties. One day I saw him outside when I got home from work, so I went over and talked to him. He looked pretty beat, and even said he was tired. I asked what he had been doing.

"Well, ever since we bought the place, there's been this patch of grass out back that never did grow very well. So finally today I got a spade and went out there to see what was going on. About four inches down, I came to a concrete slab. Somebody must have had a shed out there. Been here 40 years and never knew it."

"I guess that would keep the grass from doing well."

"Yep. It was pretty hard stuff too. Took me all day with a sledge hammer to bust it out of there."

 

[escargot]

that he started claiming that the RAF story was a front to cover his real military career in the SAS - then after a few drinks he was in a special unit the SAS went running to when they couldn't deal with a situation.

Brings to mind the famous CIA/cucumber UL, which I first read in Playboy in about 1977.

A quick trip to the greengrocery section at Asda, pick up a bottle of Mazola on way out, job done.

 

[Dick Turpin]

Years ago, I lived across the street from a retired fellow who had been a Marine. Mike had served in the Korean Conflict, as he always put it. He was a hell of a guy, still strong as a bull even in his late sixties. One day I saw him outside when I got home from work, so I went over and talked to him. He looked pretty beat, and even said he was tired. I asked what he had been doing.

"Well, ever since we bought the place, there's been this patch of grass out back that never did grow very well. So finally today I got a spade and went out there to see what was going on. About four inches down, I came to a concrete slab. Somebody must have had a shed out there. Been here 40 years and never knew it."

"I guess that would keep the grass from doing well."

"Yep. It was pretty hard stuff too. Took me all day with a sledge hammer to bust it out of there."

Oh that takes me back Austin.

On the “anyone who has seen a ghost” thread, I posted that I once lived close by to my then girlfriends grandmother.

One evening I popped round for a cuppa, and she asked me if I know anyone she could hire to smash up the pathway in her back garden, not wanting her to shell out any cash I offered my services there and then for free.

I took a sledgehammer to the path and it cracked like an egg, so I thought this won’t take me very long. Three weeks later and at least 2 hours after work each evening, and 4 hours each weekend, I’d completed the task.

She neglected to tell me that her (then) passed away Husband had laid reinforced concrete underneath the preliminary “soft concrete” (or whatever it’s called)

That was 26 years ago and I still have the bloody blisters.

See.

 

[escargot]

Oh that takes me back Austin.

On the “anyone who has seen a ghost” thread, I posted that I once lived close by to my then girlfriends grandmother.

One evening I popped round for a cuppa, and she asked me if I know anyone she could hire to smash up the pathway in her back garden, not wanting her to shell out any cash I offered my services there and then for free.

I took a sledgehammer to the path and it cracked like an egg, so I thought this won’t take me very long. Three weeks later and at least 2 hours after work each evening, and 4 hours each weekend, I’d completed the task.

She neglected to tell me that her (then) passed away Husband had laid reinforced concrete underneath the preliminary “soft concrete” (or whatever it’s called)

That was 26 years ago and I still have the bloody blisters.

See.

View attachment 20273

Blisters from cracking concrete, yeah right.

 

[Dick Turpin]

Blisters from cracking concrete, yeah right.

Ha ha. I stopped all years ago Scargy.

I had to, i was going blind and now I’m only 4 ft 5.

 

[Naughty_Felid]

Years ago, I lived across the street from a retired fellow who had been a Marine. Mike had served in the Korean Conflict, as he always put it. He was a hell of a guy, still strong as a bull even in his late sixties. One day I saw him outside when I got home from work, so I went over and talked to him. He looked pretty beat, and even said he was tired. I asked what he had been doing.

"Well, ever since we bought the place, there's been this patch of grass out back that never did grow very well. So finally today I got a spade and went out there to see what was going on. About four inches down, I came to a concrete slab. Somebody must have had a shed out there. Been here 40 years and never knew it."

"I guess that would keep the grass from doing well."

"Yep. It was pretty hard stuff too. Took me all day with a sledge hammer to bust it out of there."

What was below the slab?

 

[Mythopoeika]

What was below the slab?

A pile of old bones, but that's another story.

 

[Scribbles]

@escargot absolutely horrified to read about this.

Might be worth taking some advice from a union or employment solicitor or there's a free legal helpline run by women for women, if you Google it.

In any case, if you are not already, write down dates and times of everything.

Could the women refuse to work the night shift?

Don't mean to burden you with advice, especially if it's not any good, but like everyone else on here, really concerned by this.

 

[Scribbles]

People like this have been rare in my experience as well, and I must stand witness to the young people I've worked with who have overwhelmingly been smart, kind and wonderful co-workers. I hope your job is immune to what you find negative in the current climate.


I often feel compassion for people who are jerks like my ex-co-worker, because they can't access what is good in the world and become isolated, or trapped within the dynamics of wretched companionship. One of the outstanding weird things about this one woman I worked with though, who ingratiated herself to the boss so well and talked almost exclusively about herself in ridiculously glowing terms, was that she inspired me with absolutely no compassion at all. My own lack of pity for her surprised me. It was as if she was too self-righteous to feel any sense of loss over her co-workers not liking and not trusting her, and, since she experienced no feeling of loss, there was nothing for me to pick up on and empathize with.

This might make me sound a hard cow, but I personally never bother with trying to find empathy for such people. Doesn't really serve any purpose. The only thing that any of us can do around people like that is try and keep ourselves safe and healthy when we have to deal with them.

 

[Scribbles]

I agree the "maladapted victim of trauma" explanation doesn't apply in all cases. I'd go even farther and say it's not clear that explanation applies even in most cases.

The most pathologically persistent liars I've known well have come from relatively privileged, stable, and affluent childhood backgrounds. Their apparent motivation seemed to relate more to maintaining a presumptive status rather than achieving that status in the first place. In other words, the only trauma they were working to overcome was the prospective trauma of not continuing to be #1 (in, e.g., popularity, respectability, knowledge, accomplishments, etc.) in a given situation or setting.

Another confounding factor is that sympathy is the easiest emotional effect to foster in people you're trying to con. Presenting yourself as an unfortunate victim is the quickest way to get your grappling hooks into the target(s) with minimal resistance. My point here is that alleging trauma may itself be a tactical lie rather than an underlying cause for being a liar. If playing the victim is the most effective approach in selling lies or running a con, it's also going to be a common characteristic of cases where the con / lie worked. As such, I suspect victimhood is overestimated as an underlying cause for a liar's / conman's behavior.

Early years trauma can be caused by a lot of things though, and it doesn't have to stem from poverty or instability in the family.

For instance, the example you give above seems to me to be a person projecting protecting their ego. Egos have a use, but if they're in charge, that's not healthy. When I was a working class kid at university amongst lots of kids from incredibly privileged backgrounds, I had not before met so many people with such poor mental health. Many were beautiful, gifted, rich and nasty as hell. Very demeaning to me. They were also full of bs and very damaged people.

They would never have lowered themselves to show their vulnerabilities to me, but I'm glad I was perceptive enough to see that they were victims of their upbringing. Never felt sorry for them though.

 

[Dick Turpin]

I've worked with three ex military and they will work themselves until collapse unless you intervene .. I had to 'order' a hard bastard Romanian, ex military, current Norwich bouncer to drink a rehydration drink last week, I got our head chef to stand next to me until he did it. Another one somewhere else was my boss who was shaking, leaning over a sink trying to eat a chip so I went to personnel and asked them to 'order' him to go home.

Well, we all did our bit swifty.

I signed up when I was just 17 to serve her Majisty, but I don’t like to boast or brag about it - perish the thought old boy.

That time I was mentioned is dispatches - phorr never talk about it.

Anyway, I’m off to bed, shrapnels in me leg is on the move again, and giving me a bit of gip.

Goodnight all.
Major D W Turpin (retired) VC, MC, GC (and bar)

 

[Scribbles]

I had a recent "people who feel wrong" experience.

I work for a nice charity and it's my job to go out and sign-up new paying members to support the charity's work. Some people take offense at even being asked for their support, but most people are happy to at least chat and the job's often quite enjoyable.

Anyway, recently I was having a great day. Already signed someone up, having great banter, beautiful place. This one bloke is passing by, he seems to want me to notice him, so I pounce on him with my jolliness. He stops to chat but immediately I sense disinterest. He's not open to chat and I can't find a way in to build repport. He's being vague and closed down. I do my spiel and he says he's going to have a coffee in the café and he'll think about it.

OK. I'm not the least surprised and I don't expect to see him come back. He'd told me he used to live in the area and was just visiting, but this is an out of the way place and the café is relatively new. The only other thing to do around here is go for a walk around the reserve, but he's not dressed for that. He sticks out like a sore thumb. This is a place for bird watchers and people with young kids and retired couples. He's just not a fit. And I'm wondering why he seems so reserved, so quiet. Has someone died? Has he had a bad break-up? Does this place hold painful memories for him?

But he does come back. I act all delighted and grateful, and I'm telling him what a good thing he's doing by signing-up. But his mood is worse. He won't engage in eye contact, he's mumbling, looks really unsure, but I press on.

Then as I start to fill in the membership form, he tells me he hasn't got his bank card on him. This is an outright lie. This is a smartly dressed guy, on his own, in an out of the way place that he's driven himself too, and he's just bought himself a cup of coffee. He's got his wallet on him.

So I shut the membership book, I stand tall, and I look at him. I say things to the affect of, you really don't have to do this, you seem really down about it. I am not here to twist your arm. If you're not sure, go home and think about it, and sign-up online if it's what you want to do.

Much to my surprise, and to be honest, annoyance, he still insists that he wants to do it. I get commission from sign-ups and so I should be delighted, but I'm not. Something here is very wrong.

I do sign him up. My last words to him were something like, thank you for doing this, I am sorry if I intruded on a difficult day. As he walks away, I worry he's a suicide risk.

I phone him later to get his bank details, and he doesn't answer. This worries me a lot, but I am not sure what I can do.

A week later I'm in a very different location, far away that that place, and who should I see approaching me? It's that bloke. I'm really confused because this is way too much of a coincidence.

Turns out he's senior management in the charity, and the shit bag had been "mystery shopping" me.

 

[JamesWhitehead]

I work for a nice charity

Not that nice, if they employ this shit-bag!