People Who Feel Wrong

As I've mentioned, we have a colleague who's caused such trouble she's (hopefully) about to be sacked.

None of the males will be alone with her in case she accuses them of making advances. Anything said to or in front of her, or overheard as she lurks behind doors, might be interpreted as a personal attack and reported to the management.
She's even left her phone out to record people's work conversations. That's a sackable offence in any workplace.

We're putting it down to a mental disorder. Paranoia seems to come into it.
If so that's her problem and she needs to get some help, not lumber us.

She doesn't bother me apart from rabbiting on about rubbish. I just look at my watch, say 'Oooh, time to go! Those one-armed window-cleaners' rags won't wring themselves!' and stroll away, often breaking wind; if it happens, it happens.

I might be copping the least of it all because she's wary of me. Well, you would be, wouldn't you.
 
Ghost In The Machine said:
Two of the worst bullies in my year at school, already dead as is the class bully's "henchman" from my high school form. First I knew about one of them was seeing his gravestone as I walked the dog in my old village. Coincidentally, some time later I saw what I'd guess were his wife and grown up daughter putting flowers there (I didn't recognise the wife as anyone I'd been at school with, but you never know...) And I was so tempted to go up to her and say I'd been at school with her husband. But I thought better of it and just kept on with my mutt walking as she'd have reacted in a way that probably would have prompted me to say more and there was nothing I could say apart from the fact he was one of the worst bullies in the year above me. I managed to avoid him for my entire time at primary and secondary school but others were less lucky. So odd to see people mourning over a person you only ever knew as a shit.

I tried to tell myself, we were only kids and maybe he grew into an amazing adult. But it's hard to feel convinced that that leopard would change its spots.

I only speak to one person I was at high school with, on FB. He was my friend at school but we kept it low key as in those days boys weren't meant to be friends with girls. And he is the one who still is in contact with everyone else and passes intel on to me.

The lad who was in himself not so bad but acted like a henchman to our class bully - worst bully in my very large year intake, for context - my friend told me he became a copper. He died in his thirties, apparently, of cancer. And the girl who was the worst female bully, she died a couple years back - my mate was at the funeral. When he told me I said I can't lie, I was mercilessly bullied by her for over a year (friend had no memory of this but that first year at school we weren't yet mates). Then one day, I overheard her saying to her henchwoman she was stopping bullying me because she'd found out my mother was dead. She was nothing but nice to me for the remaining years at high school but I never trusted or liked her. I went to FB stalk her to see what sort of an adult she'd turned into. She was my polar opposite, in every way, and I wasn't surprised.

Almost no-one I knew at high school "felt right" now I think of it lol - teachers or kids - but now I'm older and wiser wonder if that's not my undiagnosed autistic tendencies that are to blame for me thinking everyone around me (apart from this friend and one or two others) were dicks. So I don't trust my judgement about people, FWIW. Pal is also startled when we chat how unhappy I was, and how much I disliked everyone as he remembers school with fondness whereas I still have nightmares and sometimes it's like we weren't even in the same room as eachother for 5 years! My perception is so wildly different, it makes me distrust my ability to read people.

Probably for the best I didn't speak to the women laying flowers at the grave of the bully from the year above, though because I tend to say what I think, and couldn't have varnished it, that he was a nightmare who everyone avoided/loathed.

ETA: FB tells me the worst bully in my year at school is now a company director...
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I like hearing that people who've hurt me, and especially those I love, have died. Well look at you, thought you were great and now you're dead. I hope it hurt. I bet it did. :nods:

I've brought his up before -
It's like Lionel Blair's comments when asked for a tribute to the late Humphrey Lyttelton, which I heard on live radio - 'Good. Good. I'm glad he's dead. He was a horrible, horrible man.'

He meant every word. Lyttelton had often derided Blair with elaborate, frankly homophobic jokes on the radio comedy panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. The audience assumed it was friendly banter but Blair was actually deeply offended and resentful.

Here's a compilation of the jokes -


Blair was kind and generous. After his death a cameraman shared a story about how Blair helped him get his first permanent job, by advising him on setting up interesting filming shots. Blair even took the time to do some extra dancing to provide specific shots.
The rushes were so good the rookie was promoted on the spot.

Everyone should aspire to be remembered as fondly as that.
I'd feel honoured to hope I would be. :nods:
 
escargot said:
I like hearing that people who've hurt me, and especially those I love, have died. Well look at you, thought you were great and now you're dead. I hope it hurt. I bet it did. :nods:

I've brought his up before -
It's like Lionel Blair's comments when asked for a tribute to the late Humphrey Lyttelton, which I heard on live radio - 'Good. Good. I'm glad he's dead. He was a horrible, horrible man.'

He meant every word. Lyttelton had often derided Blair with elaborate, frankly homophobic jokes on the radio comedy panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. The audience assumed it was friendly banter but Blair was actually deeply offended and resentful.

Here's a compilation of the jokes -


Blair was kind and generous. After his death a cameraman shared a story about how Blair helped him get his first permanent job, by advising him on setting up interesting filming shots. Blair even took the time to do some extra dancing to provide specific shots.
The rushes were so good the rookie was promoted on the spot.

Everyone should aspire to be remembered as fondly as that.
I'd feel honoured to hope I would be. :nods:
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I've never submitted to the adage that you shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
If they were a twat, then yes, yes you should.
 
SimonBurchell said:
It may be considered disrespectful in modern times, but almost certainly originated in fear of the dead, and what they could do from beyond the grave.
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All the better. Bring it on, suckers.

As I clicked on the 'tongue' smiley my Mac froze and I had to close it down and restart.
THE DEAD ARE NOT MOCKED.

Or are they?
Yes, I think they'll find they are.
 
Ghost In The Machine said:
Two of the worst bullies in my year at school, already dead as is the class bully's "henchman" from my high school form. First I knew about one of them was seeing his gravestone as I walked the dog in my old village. Coincidentally, some time later I saw what I'd guess were his wife and grown up daughter putting flowers there (I didn't recognise the wife as anyone I'd been at school with, but you never know...) And I was so tempted to go up to her and say I'd been at school with her husband. But I thought better of it and just kept on with my mutt walking as she'd have reacted in a way that probably would have prompted me to say more and there was nothing I could say apart from the fact he was one of the worst bullies in the year above me. I managed to avoid him for my entire time at primary and secondary school but others were less lucky. So odd to see people mourning over a person you only ever knew as a shit.

I tried to tell myself, we were only kids and maybe he grew into an amazing adult. But it's hard to feel convinced that that leopard would change its spots.

I only speak to one person I was at high school with, on FB. He was my friend at school but we kept it low key as in those days boys weren't meant to be friends with girls. And he is the one who still is in contact with everyone else and passes intel on to me.

The lad who was in himself not so bad but acted like a henchman to our class bully - worst bully in my very large year intake, for context - my friend told me he became a copper. He died in his thirties, apparently, of cancer. And the girl who was the worst female bully, she died a couple years back - my mate was at the funeral. When he told me I said I can't lie, I was mercilessly bullied by her for over a year (friend had no memory of this but that first year at school we weren't yet mates). Then one day, I overheard her saying to her henchwoman she was stopping bullying me because she'd found out my mother was dead. She was nothing but nice to me for the remaining years at high school but I never trusted or liked her. I went to FB stalk her to see what sort of an adult she'd turned into. She was my polar opposite, in every way, and I wasn't surprised.

Almost no-one I knew at high school "felt right" now I think of it lol - teachers or kids - but now I'm older and wiser wonder if that's not my undiagnosed autistic tendencies that are to blame for me thinking everyone around me (apart from this friend and one or two others) were dicks. So I don't trust my judgement about people, FWIW. Pal is also startled when we chat how unhappy I was, and how much I disliked everyone as he remembers school with fondness whereas I still have nightmares and sometimes it's like we weren't even in the same room as eachother for 5 years! My perception is so wildly different, it makes me distrust my ability to read people.

Probably for the best I didn't speak to the women laying flowers at the grave of the bully from the year above, though because I tend to say what I think, and couldn't have varnished it, that he was a nightmare who everyone avoided/loathed.

ETA: FB tells me the worst bully in my year at school is now a company director...
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Mark Fisher's grave is only four plots away from my Mum's grave which sounds about right .. his Mum Wynn's grave is three plots away. Mark was a wanker. If kid's were being bullied? .. Mark would hang around them laughing etc .. I never liked him. I think he died before he was even 30. The laughter stops because his wife died young before he did so he was a single father, Mark had a brain embolism one day on a rugby field leaving his daughter to face the world on her own terms I guess .. he was an absolute wanker though .. he was sort of like the character Biff in Back To The Future.
 
Never 'speaking ill of the dead' is a hang-over from the Romans. It's the fear that if you call someone a sh*t after they've died then their ghost will come after you.
It's as if no one who are b'stards ever die.
While not taking anything away from parents who lose a child who dies (I include myself), it's really amazing how when a child dies in an accident or so on, is 'always popular', 'absolutely loved', 'a great loss to their classmates' and so on.
I understand how you would never want to harm the memory of the parents - absolutely - but it's amazing how the bad never die.

As far as my torturer was concerned, I got my revenge - short, sharp and done with.
I'd been 'asked to leave' the school (v. long story) at the next half-term break. I encountered my bully in the same bathrooms that he'd struck at me. I stood behind him while he rinsed his face in the basin. He looked up and saw me looking over his shoulder. I grabbed the back of his head and smacked his face in the mirror.
All I said was "I have nothing to lose" and walked off.
I am not proud, I'm not saying I should have done it. It was done.
At least for two weeks after that incident, he felt the anticipation, the FEAR that he gave me and several other victims.
 
Swifty said:
Mark Fisher's grave is only four plots away from my Mum's grave which sounds about right .. his Mum Wynn's grave is three plots away. Mark was a wanker. If kid's were being bullied? .. Mark would hang around them laughing etc .. I never liked him. I think he died before he was even 30. The laughter stops because his wife died young before he did so he was a single father, Mark had a brain embolism one day on a rugby field leaving his daughter to face the world on her own terms I guess .. he was an absolute wanker though .. he was sort of like the character Biff in Back To The Future.
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Graves and memorials are there to be visited. You can be respectful or not, up to you.
Grief and deference are acceptable but one is a little circumspect about less reverential attentions. :nods:

Can't say I've ever desecrated a grave myself but it's sometimes tempting.
 
Ghost In The Machine said:
Two of the worst bullies in my year at school, already dead as is the class bully's "henchman" from my high school form. First I knew about one of them was seeing his gravestone as I walked the dog in my old village. Coincidentally, some time later I saw what I'd guess were his wife and grown up daughter putting flowers there (I didn't recognise the wife as anyone I'd been at school with, but you never know...) And I was so tempted to go up to her and say I'd been at school with her husband. But I thought better of it and just kept on with my mutt walking as she'd have reacted in a way that probably would have prompted me to say more and there was nothing I could say apart from the fact he was one of the worst bullies in the year above me. I managed to avoid him for my entire time at primary and secondary school but others were less lucky. So odd to see people mourning over a person you only ever knew as a shit.

I tried to tell myself, we were only kids and maybe he grew into an amazing adult. But it's hard to feel convinced that that leopard would change its spots.

I only speak to one person I was at high school with, on FB. He was my friend at school but we kept it low key as in those days boys weren't meant to be friends with girls. And he is the one who still is in contact with everyone else and passes intel on to me.

The lad who was in himself not so bad but acted like a henchman to our class bully - worst bully in my very large year intake, for context - my friend told me he became a copper. He died in his thirties, apparently, of cancer. And the girl who was the worst female bully, she died a couple years back - my mate was at the funeral. When he told me I said I can't lie, I was mercilessly bullied by her for over a year (friend had no memory of this but that first year at school we weren't yet mates). Then one day, I overheard her saying to her henchwoman she was stopping bullying me because she'd found out my mother was dead. She was nothing but nice to me for the remaining years at high school but I never trusted or liked her. I went to FB stalk her to see what sort of an adult she'd turned into. She was my polar opposite, in every way, and I wasn't surprised.

Almost no-one I knew at high school "felt right" now I think of it lol - teachers or kids - but now I'm older and wiser wonder if that's not my undiagnosed autistic tendencies that are to blame for me thinking everyone around me (apart from this friend and one or two others) were dicks. So I don't trust my judgement about people, FWIW. Pal is also startled when we chat how unhappy I was, and how much I disliked everyone as he remembers school with fondness whereas I still have nightmares and sometimes it's like we weren't even in the same room as eachother for 5 years! My perception is so wildly different, it makes me distrust my ability to read people.

Probably for the best I didn't speak to the women laying flowers at the grave of the bully from the year above, though because I tend to say what I think, and couldn't have varnished it, that he was a nightmare who everyone avoided/loathed.

ETA: FB tells me the worst bully in my year at school is now a company director...
Click to expand...
I will go out on a limb and say that you are probably fairly good at reading people. People who have been deemed "different" and those who have been bullied have to be very watchful and can read people much better than those who don't have to worry about fitting in.

As a kid, I had random girls who would bully me . No clue why. One would sit behind me on the bus and pull my hair or make comments whatever. Another once took my wrist and gouged her nail into it. Again no idea why. I didn't pick on others.

I had one nemesis throughout public school. I met her in grade one, she was a year older. She spent years absolutely being nasty to me and then asking me to be her friend.

I forget what exactly happened but one time I "tattled" to my mom about whatever she'd done. My mom spoke to her mom. I don't remember how, but I found out that her mom walloped her pretty good. I never said anything again.

She failed grade 8 and so asked me when we were in the grade together if she could hang out with me. I said "yes". End of year she invited me and my friends to a sleepover party. I again have no idea what she said, but the next morning one of my longtime friends (since gr 2 or 3) wouldn't speak to me. My friend went to another high school, so I never found out what happened.

She would make comments to other people on our bus. I never knew what she said as I was again not associating with her, but whatever she said, I had a kid six years younger spit in my face when he got off the bus. I didn't react at all. I heard her make some comment (with awe) about the fact she was surprised that that had happened and that I had done nothing.

The following year, I went to another high school than the bully, but we rode the same bus. She and I were talking to the same guy (a new friend to both of us). I straight out told him that he could speak with either one of us, but not both because of our history.

There were people who were picked on worse than I. Unfortunately, if they sat in the same bus seat as I, I wouldn't bully, but I wouldn't speak to them. You can't bring on more bullying because you speak to the "wrong" person.
 
I don't recall actually being bullied.
Maybe it just passed over my head as I thought some people were just being annoying .
However I dislike bullies and have always tried to help those being bullied.
I remember there was an obnoxious girl at High school who was prone to it.
One day I came on her having a go at someone and I thought a few nasty things about her.
To my surprise she stopped, looked at me, stammered that she was sorry and ran off. Maybe she read my mind, I don't know.
 
Swifty said:
Mark Fisher's grave is only four plots away from my Mum's grave which sounds about right .. his Mum Wynn's grave is three plots away. Mark was a wanker. If kid's were being bullied? .. Mark would hang around them laughing etc .. I never liked him. I think he died before he was even 30. The laughter stops because his wife died young before he did so he was a single father, Mark had a brain embolism one day on a rugby field leaving his daughter to face the world on her own terms I guess .. he was an absolute wanker though .. he was sort of like the character Biff in Back To The Future.
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Oh four plots away is a bit close for comfort!

My husband always dreads going through that churchyard with me as I give unflattering anecdotes about various graves' occupants but that's growing up in a village for you. (Must be worse in Norfolk where they're all your relatives...)
 
escargot said:
I like hearing that people who've hurt me, and especially those I love, have died. Well look at you, thought you were great and now you're dead. I hope it hurt. I bet it did. :nods:

I've brought his up before -
It's like Lionel Blair's comments when asked for a tribute to the late Humphrey Lyttelton, which I heard on live radio - 'Good. Good. I'm glad he's dead. He was a horrible, horrible man.'

He meant every word. Lyttelton had often derided Blair with elaborate, frankly homophobic jokes on the radio comedy panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. The audience assumed it was friendly banter but Blair was actually deeply offended and resentful.

Here's a compilation of the jokes -


Blair was kind and generous. After his death a cameraman shared a story about how Blair helped him get his first permanent job, by advising him on setting up interesting filming shots. Blair even took the time to do some extra dancing to provide specific shots.
The rushes were so good the rookie was promoted on the spot.

Everyone should aspire to be remembered as fondly as that.
I'd feel honoured to hope I would be. :nods:
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Yes, I'd find it hard to be diplomatic about some people - admit I was curious to speak to the possible wife and child putting flowers on Mick C's grave just simply to see if he'd been a bastard to them too but then I don't reckon they'd have paid out for a headstone or be wasting money on flowers if they saw him as we all saw him, growing up. (And he was someone almost everyone feared and disliked, not just me).

The thing that did make me shudder was remembering a walk we once did out of school where we went up to the church and the vicar told us about its history, because we walked along a path made from 19thc graves laid flat like a pavement, and he'd have been there, that day, walking past just a couple of metres away from where he was eventually buried... Talking of that, there are some shots of my mum on her wedding day which were taken just metres from where she was to be buried... Sounds unremarkable but this is an unusually large village churchyard, the biggest I ever saw and so the odds are against that happening. The 1970s' burials were right up by the church itself. Newer ones are right the other end.

Talking of stories that came out after celeb deaths, the ones I enjoyed (maybe the wrong word) the most were after George Michael died. Turned out he'd gone and done all these kind and good deeds, totally anonymously.

I had an online friend who died last year - we'd always meant to meet up but she went to events down South and I only did up North so we never got to meet, but we spoke in a couple of different places online and many people seemed to dislike her as she was very blunt and to the point. I'd always loved her though, and over the years she'd done me a few random acts of extreme kindness - once sent me a first edition of a book I mentioned in passing and when it got to me I was stunned to see it was a signed first edition. She'd also occasionally send me other books unprompted, because she knew there were some I collected. But on the forum where I knew her she was seen as a sort of fearsome character and was quite notorious as a person who took no prisoners. After she died, people wrote on a thread about her and it turned out, she'd done many small but meaningful and really generous things for many people "behind the scenes" and I was by no means the only person who'd seen the generous, kind side of her she kept so well hidden from most.
 
Ghost In The Machine said:
Oh four plots away is a bit close for comfort!

My husband always dreads going through that churchyard with me as I give unflattering anecdotes about various graves' occupants but that's growing up in a village for you. (Must be worse in Norfolk where they're all your relatives...)
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Staffordshire after I was Birmingham but I get what you mean. I'm not Norfolk, I moved here but yeah .. same thing.
 
escargot said:
He meant every word. Lyttelton had often derided Blair with elaborate, frankly homophobic jokes on the radio comedy panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. The audience assumed it was friendly banter but Blair was actually deeply offended and resentful.
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Strange. Lionel Blair was married to the same woman for 50 years and had 3 kids. I am aware of nothing to suggest he was gay, although he had a somewhat camp stage persona. I heard many of those Humph comments and took them in the same spirit as Morecambe and Wise making fun of Des o' Connor.

Humph was from a certain era and class. He was literally born at Eton and was a descendant of aristocrats. No doubt he had some er... unreconstructed... attitudes but it is hard to imagine a successful lifetime in show business without being able to work comfortably alongside gay people.
Floyd1 said:
I've never submitted to the adage that you shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
If they were a twat, then yes, yes you should.
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My father died last year. I have no happy memories of him at all. He was a deeply competitive, angry, sarcastic bully who was occasionally violent towards me. However, everyone else, including my two half siblings (same father, different mother) remember him very fondly as someone who would "do anything for anyone" and was a "a bit of a character".

As the oldest son, I felt it my duty to say positive things about him in a tribute the funeral. I found things to mention that he could be respected for (hard worker, honest, generous with his time, committed to his sporting activities, etc.) but I could find nothing warm to say.

I have spent a lot of time since then nodding and smiling and thanking people when they have given me their condolences and told me how much they liked him. I have never sought to "correct them".

Speaking ill of the dead would only make the living unhappy. It's not respect for the dead, but respect for the find memories that others have of the dead.
 
Mikefule said:
I heard many of those Humph comments and took them in the same spirit as Morecambe and Wise making fun of Des o' Connor.
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It did get to the point where it really upset/annoyed Des though. There's an interview somewhere where he mentions this.
Mikefule said:
My father died last year. I have no happy memories of him at all. He was a deeply competitive, angry, sarcastic bully who was occasionally violent towards me. However, everyone else, including my two half siblings (same father, different mother) remember him very fondly as someone who would "do anything for anyone" and was a "a bit of a character".

As the oldest son, I felt it my duty to say positive things about him in a tribute the funeral. I found things to mention that he could be respected for (hard worker, honest, generous with his time, committed to his sporting activities, etc.) but I could find nothing warm to say.

I have spent a lot of time since then nodding and smiling and thanking people when they have given me their condolences and told me how much they liked him. I have never sought to "correct them".

Speaking ill of the dead would only make the living unhappy. It's not respect for the dead, but respect for the find memories that others have of the dead.
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Fair enough, but I couldn't/wouldn't do it if it concerned a bully and/or violent person, especially if those traits had been directed at me.
I wouldn't even go to the funeral.
 
Floyd1 said:
It did get to the point where it really upset/annoyed Des though. There's an interview somewhere where he mentions this.

Fair enough, but I couldn't/wouldn't do it if it concerned a bully and/or violent person, especially if those traits had been directed at me.
I wouldn't even go to the funeral.
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Yes, I didn't even go to my stepmother's funeral. Felt it would be hypocritical of me and I'd find that harder to live with myself afterwards, if I'd gone although on the surface, I was cordial enough with her in her final years (only tolerated to make my dad happy). I get what Mikefule means, though. Stepmother was right up there as the vilest human being I ever met. She had 4 kids. Two of them became massively deluded about her, even fond of her, including the daughter she used as a slave. The younger two loathed her and felt precisely the same way about her that I did. Even though we didn't get on, as kids - as adults, they saw her objectively. (And one of those who hated her was her "favourite"). Human nature is strange. The child she put upon the most ended up seeing her as a saint. The child she worshipped ended up seeing her as something else entirely - precisely how I saw her and I was the one she attacked and emotionally abused for years - her biggest target of all. Years ago, the older daughters seemed less deluded about her but by the time she was a frail old lady, seemed to have forgotten her years of abuse and aggression. No accounting for it because years back, they seemed to understand what she was. Then they didn't.

The two daughters who eventually saw her for what she was, both attended the funeral. I had no intention of going and nor did anyone from our family. I literally couldn't have found a good thing to say about her. What sort of woman attacks a motherless child and makes its life hell for many years? She had zero redeeming features. But notably, in later years, became an ardent christian and was first in that church every Sunday which seemed to take many people in and made people who should have known better, forget who or what she was. Which was, I guess, the point of the sudden conversion.
 
Mikefule it makes you feel what is wrong with you when other people have such wonderful memories of someone when that didn't happen to you.
It still rankles when my cousin and his wife say how lovely my mother was and how kind she was to them when she just couldn't like me.
My sisters were fine with her and I used to wonder why.
 
Mikefule said:
My father died last year. I have no happy memories of him at all. He was a deeply competitive, angry, sarcastic bully who was occasionally violent towards me. However, everyone else, including my two half siblings (same father, different mother) remember him very fondly as someone who would "do anything for anyone" and was a "a bit of a character".

Speaking ill of the dead would only make the living unhappy. It's not respect for the dead, but respect for the find memories that others have of the dead.
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On a milder example, I was at a (rare) family do, with both of my older sisters. Note that when I was born, the eldest had married and moved out and the youngest was the teen that had to look after the baby/toddler while mum worked.
When I talked about mum's poor cooking, both sisters were outraged and reckoned it was because I was 'spoiled' ... somehow.
Luckily, I didn't mention my opinion that I was 'emotionally neglected' by both my parents and this impacted my Aspergers to make me, as an adult, emotionally distant. I can emphasize but from an outsiders perspective. They fed me, housed me, had me educated well ... but they were so old that they couldn't play with me, or even relate to me.
All my sisters would remember was me being the baby of the family, spoiled, cosseted and so on. They'd both moved out by the time I was about 7 or 8.
 
There's an older woman who's started working in our local shop who gives me the hebegebees (or however that's spelled). Maybe she's just nervous because she's new to her team but she's got this weird fixed smile that never moves and her eyes dart around too much for my liking. It's hard to explain and she's done nothing wrong, she just creeps me out on a gut instinct level and I can't put my finger on exactly why. Perhaps she's just got problems going on in her own life?. She's probably dead nice but I can't wait to get out of the shop after she's served me. I get a ticking time bomb vibe off of her. She's spooky in the same way that actress was in The Haunting was who said "Nobody comes here .. in the dark .. in the night." Exactly like this except she's blonde instead ..

 
Mikefule said:
Strange. Lionel Blair was married to the same woman for 50 years and had 3 kids. I am aware of nothing to suggest he was gay, although he had a somewhat camp stage persona. I heard many of those Humph comments and took them in the same spirit as Morecambe and Wise making fun of Des o' Connor.

Humph was from a certain era and class. He was literally born at Eton and was a descendant of aristocrats. No doubt he had some er... unreconstructed... attitudes but it is hard to imagine a successful lifetime in show business without being able to work comfortably alongside gay people.
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Yup, Blair was absolutely not some kind of raging gay roué as suggested by Lyttelton's jokes. Nothing could be further from the truth.
One wonders why Blair didn't sue, except that in a widely and humorously reported court case he'd be humiliated by having to deny that he'd ever participated in group sex with guardsmen and so on.

Lyttelton was not naive or unworldly. He lost any aristocratic pretensions when working in a steelworks as a young man, and later saw active service in Italy. Being a jazz musician wasn't exactly a sheltered life.

So making homophobic jokes was really a bit below him. :dunno:

The show also has long running gags about the Chair's two assistants, the lovely Samantha and the presumably handsome Sven.
They are set up in a similar way to how the Blair jokes worked, with of course one crucial difference. :wink2:
Humph should have stuck with those gags really.
 
Stormkhan said:
Her fixed smile and darting eyes might indicate a nervousness over her position in the team. She might be trying to look keen but her eyes reflect her seeking clues to her situation.
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I agree. I wrote that in my post about her. Hopefully she'll turn out to be a proper good laugh and relax because we've all been there being a noob. She possibly thinks I'm a weirdo as well. I hope so. It's a good starting place.
 
escargot said:
Yup, Blair was absolutely not some kind of raging gay roué as suggested by Lyttelton's jokes. Nothing could be further from the truth.
One wonders why Blair didn't sue, except that in a widely and humorously reported court case he'd be humiliated by having to deny that he'd ever participated in group sex with guardsmen and so on.

Lyttelton was not naive or unworldly. He lost any aristocratic pretensions when working in a steelworks as a young man, and later saw active service in Italy. Being a jazz musician wasn't exactly a sheltered life.

So making homophobic jokes was really a bit below him. :dunno:

The show also has long running gags about the Chair's two assistants, the lovely Samantha and the presumably handsome Sven.
They are set up in a similar way to how the Blair jokes worked, with of course one crucial difference. :wink2:
Humph should have stuck with those gags really.
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I don't like homophobic jokes either but c'monnn? .. Blair was Narnia mate? .. the Mrs's boss is married with a kid but he's off the scale gay. He even used to flirt with me and that's leaving aside his obsession with Simon le Bon/Duran Duran and that his best mate's a gay vicar who's about to bury his just deceased Dad.
 
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