• We have updated the guidelines regarding posting political content: please see the stickied thread on Website Issues.

People Who Feel Wrong

I have a friend like that. She's really sweet and isn't a bad person, but she still makes stuff up.
I've distanced myself from her a bit, because being around her is hard work, especially when she starts to behave childishly. This is a woman in her 40s, who dresses like Tank Girl and refuses to grow up.
 
I have a friend like that. She's really sweet and isn't a bad person, but she still makes stuff up.
I've distanced myself from her a bit, because being around her is hard work, especially when she starts to behave childishly. This is a woman in her 40s, who dresses like Tank Girl and refuses to grow up.
Are you friends with my sister?! You’ve described her to a tee.... unfortunately, despite my best efforts she blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life, and while most of it is utterly untrue I think she actually believes what she says.
 
Are you friends with my sister?! You’ve described her to a tee.... unfortunately, despite my best efforts she blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life, and while most of it is utterly untrue I think she actually believes what she says.
Nope. You live in Wales. My friend's sister lives in Peterborough.
 
Nope. You live in Wales. My friend's sister lives in Peterborough.
Quite depressing how many people seem to do this... I guess I’ve just been lucky (ha!) but my ex husband was also a pathological liar... he even lied about having had a child before we got together, who died of meningitis aged five... he told mutual friends not to make too much fuss about their new baby in front of me because I’d just found out I could never have children. I never have had kids, but I never wanted to. The lies varied from small stuff to absolute humdingers.
 
Are you friends with my sister?! You’ve described her to a tee.... unfortunately, despite my best efforts she blames me for everything that goes wrong in her life, and while most of it is utterly untrue I think she actually believes what she says.

I have often thought that with people like these that their world of lies becomes their reality early on. It's narcissistic behaviour at it's best. Bluster your way through life and blame everyone else when it all turns to shit.
 
Quite depressing how many people seem to do this... I guess I’ve just been lucky (ha!) but my ex husband was also a pathological liar... he even lied about having had a child before we got together, who died of meningitis aged five... he told mutual friends not to make too much fuss about their new baby in front of me because I’d just found out I could never have children. I never have had kids, but I never wanted to. The lies varied from small stuff to absolute humdingers.

That's appallingly sad in so many ways.
 
I have often thought that with people like these that their world of lies becomes their reality early on. It's narcissistic behaviour at it's best. Bluster your way through life and blame everyone else when it all turns to shit.
That’s exactly my sister... she has many issues, and has behaved appallingly to so many people over the years. Basically whenever a group of friends calls her out on behaviour or lies, she has a HUGE and dramatic falling out with them, and moves on. Makes me sad because she’ll be 50 this year, and how long can she keep behaving like this? But she’s so utterly convinced none of it is down to her that she refuses to seek help to change.
 
That's appallingly sad in so many ways.
It was quite horrific. I was very naive back then and just couldn’t believe it when I discovered- just after we married- how many lies there were. He was dishonest on every level- he was done for drink driving and never told me (no clue how or when - it was only when we were stopped by the police when I was in the car -he was driving- that I found out. He STILL swore it was mistaken identity, there was someone else with the same name locally). When he lost his job he never told me, just cancelled all the direct debits from our joint account, let me carry on paying half my wages in and then pocketed the money. Yep, mortgage and everything. And of course, cos he was there when the post came, I never saw any of the final demands, repossession order for the house- anything. All came to a head when I got home from work to find the police and the leccy board on the drive... He was in the house, pretending not to be there, they were there to speak to him about him bypassing the electricity meter.... As I stood on the drive being harangued by assorted officialdom - because I must have known, right? - he ran out the back door and was last seen legging it across the fields. Yep, not the best time of my life!
 
It was quite horrific. I was very naive back then and just couldn’t believe it when I discovered- just after we married- how many lies there were. He was dishonest on every level- he was done for drink driving and never told me (no clue how or when - it was only when we were stopped by the police when I was in the car -he was driving- that I found out. He STILL swore it was mistaken identity, there was someone else with the same name locally). When he lost his job he never told me, just cancelled all the direct debits from our joint account, let me carry on paying half my wages in and then pocketed the money. Yep, mortgage and everything. And of course, cos he was there when the post came, I never saw any of the final demands, repossession order for the house- anything. All came to a head when I got home from work to find the police and the leccy board on the drive... He was in the house, pretending not to be there, they were there to speak to him about him bypassing the electricity meter.... As I stood on the drive being harangued by assorted officialdom - because I must have known, right? - he ran out the back door and was last seen legging it across the fields. Yep, not the best time of my life!

That's horrendous. Not only the outright deceit, but being wholly and totally letdown and abandoned by the one person that you always thought you could rely on for better or worse.
Glad that you've bounced back, hopefully intact!
Do you know if he's continued to wreck a similar path of destruction through the lives of those unfortunate enough to place their trust in him since those days?
 
I once knew a young woman who seemingly had it all. Intelligent, confident and practical. Added to that she was also devastatingly beautiful which, be it right or wrong opened doors to her which may not have opened otherwise.

However, she was also a pathological liar and would lie in almost any instance even when there was no need to lie. These weren't grandiose lies which someone might claim to try to impress, but it what as though she would lie just because she could. It was the most bizarre behaviour.

She also was the most mercenary person I've ever known, happy to tread on family, friend or stranger to achieve her goal, whatever it may have been at the time. Her looks attracted a lot of attention from men (and quite a few women), and as such, she had no close female friends. Women were always wary of her whether it was justified or not. Over the years she hurt everyone close to her and subsequently died quite young and quite alone. A sad situation, but no one was surprised when it happened.
She sounds like a psychopath.
 
That's horrendous. Not only the outright deceit, but being wholly and totally letdown and abandoned by the one person that you always thought you could rely on for better or worse.
Glad that you've bounced back, hopefully intact!
Do you know if he's continued to wreck a similar path of destruction through the lives of those unfortunate enough to place their trust in him since those days?

Thank you, Lord L... I’m good these days...I always say I wouldn’t be the me I am now without having gone through all that... not sure if that’s a good thing, but I’m certainly much stronger now!
He did a bunk, to Spain, leaving me to sort out everything, then reappeared to claim his half of all that was left when the divorce came through.
I have no idea what he’s doing now- he scuttled off back to Spain and as far as I know is still there. The parallels between his behaviour and my sisters are quite staggering. It makes me think there must be far more people like them who don’t get caught than we imagine.
 
I've encountered a few odd people in my various misadventures, mercifully few and far between but there's one that sticks in my mind because of the sheer unsettling feeling it provoke.

As a juvenile wolf I was briefly in the Scouts (just over 2 years, honourably discharged, no merit badges) and an annual event was the Bring and Buy sale - a jumble sale in other words. We'd leaflet our local area about a fortnight before then spend Scout Night - a Friday - knocking on doors and asking if people had any jumble.

The area we were canvassing that evening was normal, neat suburban homes - semi detached, two story dwellings arranged in a series of crescents. I went to one particular door which was opened by a tall dark haired man with a moustache. What struck me was that he had very dark, wide eyes. Staring eyes, I would have said, unblinking. I asked if he had any jumble, and in a soft spoken voice he'd said he wasn't sure and called his wife. As I remember it (and we know the memory cheats) he didn't take his eyes off me. The missus came into the hall, she also dark haired, soft spoken and had the same wide eyed, staring unblinking expression. Again she'd locked on to me and didn't look away.

There was no jumble so I quickly headed back to the rest of the troop albeit unnerved, followed by the eyes of the staring couple from their doorstep.

I don't really know why I was unnerved by a neatly dressed young (from my present day perspective) couple; there was no overt threat, just something about the eyes. Dark. Wide. And staring; to the extent that a chance glimpse of the same man from the bus a few weeks later caused me to flinch.
 
I've encountered a few odd people in my various misadventures, mercifully few and far between but there's one that sticks in my mind because of the sheer unsettling feeling it provoke.

As a juvenile wolf I was briefly in the Scouts (just over 2 years, honourably discharged, no merit badges) and an annual event was the Bring and Buy sale - a jumble sale in other words. We'd leaflet our local area about a fortnight before then spend Scout Night - a Friday - knocking on doors and asking if people had any jumble.

The area we were canvassing that evening was normal, neat suburban homes - semi detached, two story dwellings arranged in a series of crescents. I went to one particular door which was opened by a tall dark haired man with a moustache. What struck me was that he had very dark, wide eyes. Staring eyes, I would have said, unblinking. I asked if he had any jumble, and in a soft spoken voice he'd said he wasn't sure and called his wife. As I remember it (and we know the memory cheats) he didn't take his eyes off me. The missus came into the hall, she also dark haired, soft spoken and had the same wide eyed, staring unblinking expression. Again she'd locked on to me and didn't look away.

There was no jumble so I quickly headed back to the rest of the troop albeit unnerved, followed by the eyes of the staring couple from their doorstep.

I don't really know why I was unnerved by a neatly dressed young (from my present day perspective) couple; there was no overt threat, just something about the eyes. Dark. Wide. And staring; to the extent that a chance glimpse of the same man from the bus a few weeks later caused me to flinch.
Too much cocaine, perhaps? That can have that effect, so I have heard.
Or am I talking nonsense?
 
Too much cocaine, perhaps? That can have that effect, so I have heard.
Or am I talking nonsense?

It was the mid-late eighties in the outer suburbs of a provincial market town; I don't know how available such substances would have been.
Even as a wolf about town now a days I am rather a square about such matters, never mind back then.
 
Well that was the time yuppydom was in full swing. All that working and playing hard meant cocaine was popular. I'm assuming that people in small towns have contacts far and wide. It soes seem like the most likely explaination .... young couple in their first house on the property ladder, bit clueless and not sure what all this jumble sale nonsense was about. Yep fits my profile of the barstewards, looking on as I was from sorting through the bring and buy items for my childrens clothes mmm yep aliens they were then :D

Sollywos x
 
Well that was the time yuppydom was in full swing. All that working and playing hard meant cocaine was popular. I'm assuming that people in small towns have contacts far and wide. It soes seem like the most likely explaination .... young couple in their first house on the property ladder, bit clueless and not sure what all this jumble sale nonsense was about. Yep fits my profile of the barstewards, looking on as I was from sorting through the bring and buy items for my childrens clothes mmm yep aliens they were then :D

Sollywos x

Anything is possible and indeed some sort of psychoactive substances of some sort may have been in play. I wasn't in a position to recognise it way back when and if honest I am little better at it now (square!) . I just had that strong feeling of "Nope!" which lasted.
 
Many years ago as a single man I shared a flat with four people that had advertised a small room in their flat{was the first and last time I ever did that}. Three of the flatmates were students{two females and a male} and the fourth was "in security, mate". I don't know why but straight off the bat I thought Walter Mitty.His name was Andy and said he was an ex marine, had "been across the water" a few times which I knew was a reference to N.Ireland and had been in Special Forces team in the Gulf {Desert Storm} hunting SCUD missiles Not bad for someone who was about 22 and it was 4 years after the Gulf. I did mention he seemed a bit young but he even lied that he was older than he was.{I used to be a military buff when younger but kept that under my hat}He was over familiar, using my name like had known me for years. The other flatmates were totally suckered by him, which amazed me as I thought he was so transparent.He was helpful to everyone and his girlfriend doted on him. I would ask him military questions that were deliberately inaccurate which he would answer that so obviously showed he hadn't a clue, or I would make an inaccurate statement and he would reply"I shouldn't really say but that's right mate".His girlfriend would stay over when he wasn't there but couldn't say where he was "I better not say"nudge nudge, wink wink.I used to laugh about it at first but as time went on I found his behaviour more unsettling and his lies more outlandish"I've been made an honory member of the triads for saving their bosses life". I got chatting to one of the other flatmates one night and she told me his girlfriend who didn't live with us had been paying his rent as he was awaiting a big cheque to come through.I rolled my eyes and my flatmate looked surprised as I said what I thought of him.She didn't like it so I kept my views to myself after that. Any way things started to get darker as items would go missing from the flat and small amounts of money would go a miss fivers that kind of thing.The flat got broken into over the Christmas holidays when everyone went home and I knew straight away it was Andy. Of course he was going to use his "contacts"to track the bastards down. No one still suspected anything.He eventually moved his girlfriend in, then all of a sudden disappeared!leaving his girlfriend in debt . I felt sorry for his girlfriend who thought he was on the run from assassins or something.The most disturbing part was when he disappeared at first, myself and the other male flatmate had a nosey in his room{wrong I know}and found a hatchet under his bed!I found out later that he had made heavy hints to the others that he thought I was behind the things going missing and even the break in was down to me!I am never surprised when I read about conmen fooling people as I saw one in action.
 
To see what I mean by 'weird eyes', look at the Youtube channel of Bobby White, jeweller to the glitterati (example below):
Bobby has wide eyes and never smiles. Ever.
I think he's a very talented guy, but he never cracks a smile. Weird.
 
To see what I mean by 'weird eyes', look at the Youtube channel of Bobby White, jeweller to the glitterati (example below):
Bobby has wide eyes and never smiles. Ever.
I think he's a very talented guy, but he never cracks a smile. Weird.

A bit like Gary Barlow
 
There's a bloke who lives near me who wrote this last night to locals on facebook .

I kick off, everyone laughs at me. Yet they laughed at the columbine killers too.

He usually writes crap like this when he's drunk then deletes it the next morning. To meet him face to face, he comes across as a really gentle bloke, I've already asked him face to face to visit his GP to get some help.

His ex has an order out on him because he was stalking her so he's been arrested a few times already .. apparently he carries one of those big goth looking hunting knives as well, nothing a swift kick to the bollocks wouldn't stop and although he's never tried to threaten me? .... I'm seriously thinking about phoning crime stoppers on him for his own protection as well as others .. his last threat was to reign down on all.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
If you've got evidence of such online threat postings so you can give specifics, I'd recommend filing a confidential report - especially if you're certain about the truth in the stalking and knife aspects.
 
If you've got evidence of such online threat postings so you can give specifics, I'd recommend filing a confidential report - especially if you're certain about the truth in the stalking and knife aspects.
I'm not certain about the stalking and knife aspect, his ex told me about that. If those are true, the police should have those records already. I've just tried to make a call to crime stoppers and the police but put on hold for ages .. I'm trying to stop him before he hurts someone or himself.
 
I'm not certain about the stalking and knife aspect, his ex told me about that. If those are true, the police should have those records already. I've just tried to make a call to crime stoppers and the police but put on hold for ages .. I'm trying to stop him before he hurts someone or himself.

Better safe than sorry with these types of thing - report it to CrimeStoppers online (anonymously) or your local fuzz (they've got an online form, nothing stopping you using not-quite-true details if you want to stay anonymous).

https://crimestoppers-uk.org/give-information/forms/give-information-anonymously

https://www.norfolk.police.uk/contact-us/report-it
 
I once - very briefly - went out with a guy who sounds a lot like Lizard's Andy. Told me he owned a house (when I went round there it was as 'elderly person' as you could get, I suspected he lived with his parents), and had a house in Spain. He showed me the pics of the 'house in Spain' and it looked like a holiday villa to me, and I reckon the pics were taken on holiday. He started making noises about having to move (some kind of 'security' thing to do with his job) and was trying to get me to let him move in with me. I told him to move to the house in Spain and cut off all contact. I don't know if he was a fantasist, or a pathological liar, or even just a sad little man with no life, trying to make himself sound interesting, but as the manipulation started to cut in ('I've got to leave this house or they'll get me and I've got nowhere else to go') I was out of there.
 
Many years ago as a single man I shared a flat with four people that had advertised a small room in their flat{was the first and last time I ever did that}. Three of the flatmates were students{two females and a male} and the fourth was "in security, mate". I don't know why but straight off the bat I thought Walter Mitty.His name was Andy and said he was an ex marine, had "been across the water" a few times which I knew was a reference to N.Ireland and had been in Special Forces team in the Gulf {Desert Storm} hunting SCUD missiles Not bad for someone who was about 22 and it was 4 years after the Gulf. I did mention he seemed a bit young but he even lied that he was older than he was.{I used to be a military buff when younger but kept that under my hat}He was over familiar, using my name like had known me for years. The other flatmates were totally suckered by him, which amazed me as I thought he was so transparent.He was helpful to everyone and his girlfriend doted on him. I would ask him military questions that were deliberately inaccurate which he would answer that so obviously showed he hadn't a clue, or I would make an inaccurate statement and he would reply"I shouldn't really say but that's right mate".His girlfriend would stay over when he wasn't there but couldn't say where he was "I better not say"nudge nudge, wink wink.I used to laugh about it at first but as time went on I found his behaviour more unsettling and his lies more outlandish"I've been made an honory member of the triads for saving their bosses life". I got chatting to one of the other flatmates one night and she told me his girlfriend who didn't live with us had been paying his rent as he was awaiting a big cheque to come through.I rolled my eyes and my flatmate looked surprised as I said what I thought of him.She didn't like it so I kept my views to myself after that. Any way things started to get darker as items would go missing from the flat and small amounts of money would go a miss fivers that kind of thing.The flat got broken into over the Christmas holidays when everyone went home and I knew straight away it was Andy. Of course he was going to use his "contacts"to track the bastards down. No one still suspected anything.He eventually moved his girlfriend in, then all of a sudden disappeared!leaving his girlfriend in debt . I felt sorry for his girlfriend who thought he was on the run from assassins or something.The most disturbing part was when he disappeared at first, myself and the other male flatmate had a nosey in his room{wrong I know}and found a hatchet under his bed!I found out later that he had made heavy hints to the others that he thought I was behind the things going missing and even the break in was down to me!I am never surprised when I read about conmen fooling people as I saw one in action.
It astonishes me how naïve people can be. Possibly too trusting a nature, maybe not street wise enough, or simply totally unable to recognize blatant lies.
I remember, it must be 40 years ago now, meeting a really nice lad aged about 20. We had common interests and got on well. Turned out he was a total Walter Mitty. Told everyone he was an airline pilot and other totally ridiculous stuff. Even in my naïve youth I saw straight through him. The weird part was that his father went along with his lies and I have wondered over the years whether together they were operating some sort of long con game together. I called him out finally and that was the last I saw of him. I heard a few years later that he had been in prison for deception, so my instincts were correct.
 
I think Andy had the perfect group to manipulate, young students who were very smart but not streetwise. I had a much different back ground myself and a bit more streetwise. I have highlighted the negative things he had done, but despite the poorly researched back story{I think I could reference the books and films he got his ideas from}he was good at manipulation.He would make a show of when he had money{generous}buying take out for everyone,listening to people's problems and offering advice {empathic} and fixing things for other people{helpful}.He definitely had superficial charm and was always immaculate, in keeping with imagined military background. I truly believe the nights he spent away were probably with another woman or some similar set up.
 
I'm not certain about the stalking and knife aspect, his ex told me about that. If those are true, the police should have those records already. I've just tried to make a call to crime stoppers and the police but put on hold for ages .. I'm trying to stop him before he hurts someone or himself.
I had a similar situation recently when a person stated to my colleague, they thought about purchasing a gun and going on a shooting spree. My gut instinct was the guy was trying to shock, but you never know. My colleague discussed it with the guy's medical team and was told to report it to Police. The man did not have a mental illness but has a personality disorder.
 
I had a similar situation recently when a person stated to my colleague, they thought about purchasing a gun and going on a shooting spree. My gut instinct was the guy was trying to shock, but you never know. My colleague discussed it with the guy's medical team and was told to report it to Police. The man did not have a mental illness but has a personality disorder.
'My' bloke has posted apologies on facebook now for his comment .. doesn't make me feel much more comfortable though.
 
'My' bloke has posted apologies on facebook now for his comment .. doesn't make me feel much more comfortable though.
It's a difficult one. I wonder how many people who have committed serious crimes, have been viewed as harmless fantasists before hand?When you watch documentaries of the Columbine Killers{had we not seen the videos they made of themselves} they appeared to be nerdy guys who you would never suspect to do such a thing. They went onto inspire{for won't of another word} other nerdy appearing guys to do the same thing.So now it's the nerdy looking weird guys people expect to do this sort of thing!
 
Back
Top