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People Who Feel Wrong

Xanatic* said:
Seaside: So you wished someone away, instead you got sick, lost your job and the person stuck around for 6 months. You consider that a success?
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Yes I take your point; I did get sick but this enabled me to spend time re evaluating my life and my job, and to think about who and what really mattered to me. I resigned and got a fantastic new job I love. The person is still on the periphery even now but my intent worked. Sometimes it’s not how we would chose it to work but it works. Plus I am a glass half full type of person and I am glad that it has all worked out the way it has.
 
The volume of the glass's contents is irrelevant in the context of that fine old Crewe saying, Never drink from a bottle or a can that you haven't SEEN opened.

Same applies to glasses and pouring. :nods:
 
I mentioned this topic to my partner the other day and she told me this experience.
She was out on her motorbike a few years ago; it began to rain heavily so she decided to take a rest at a McDonald's just off the motorway. While waiting to be served she observed a group of around ten people, men and women of assorted ages. They were eating and making some kind of small talk BUT each person was seemingly speaking to themselves, with no reference to what anyone else was saying. For example, one would comment on the weather and another sat opposite would start describing their sister's wedding dress. A third might state that next door is building a rabbit hutch, and so on.
It's possible that this was an outing of people with some kind of intellectual disability but there was no one obviously facilitating the event. Every so often all of them would fall silent, as if in waiting for the next incongruous phrase to be uttered. Chrissy left before they did.
This reminds me of the posts about non-humans and their efforts to "pass" among us. What do you lot think?
 
frankiefelix said:
I mentioned this topic to my partner the other day and she told me this experience.
She was out on her motorbike a few years ago; it began to rain heavily so she decided to take a rest at a McDonald's just off the motorway. While waiting to be served she observed a group of around ten people, men and women of assorted ages. They were eating and making some kind of small talk BUT each person was seemingly speaking to themselves, with no reference to what anyone else was saying. For example, one would comment on the weather and another sat opposite would start describing their sister's wedding dress. A third might state that next door is building a rabbit hutch, and so on.
It's possible that this was an outing of people with some kind of intellectual disability but there was no one obviously facilitating the event. Every so often all of them would fall silent, as if in waiting for the next incongruous phrase to be uttered. Chrissy left before they did.
This reminds me of the posts about non-humans and their efforts to "pass" among us. What do you lot think?
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Were they all on bluetooth talking to someone on a phone?
 
frankiefelix said:
I mentioned this topic to my partner the other day and she told me this experience.
She was out on her motorbike a few years ago; it began to rain heavily so she decided to take a rest at a McDonald's just off the motorway. While waiting to be served she observed a group of around ten people, men and women of assorted ages. They were eating and making some kind of small talk BUT each person was seemingly speaking to themselves, with no reference to what anyone else was saying. For example, one would comment on the weather and another sat opposite would start describing their sister's wedding dress. A third might state that next door is building a rabbit hutch, and so on.
It's possible that this was an outing of people with some kind of intellectual disability but there was no one obviously facilitating the event. Every so often all of them would fall silent, as if in waiting for the next incongruous phrase to be uttered. Chrissy left before they did.
This reminds me of the posts about non-humans and their efforts to "pass" among us. What do you lot think?
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Definitely non-human.
 
frankiefelix said:
It's possible that this was an outing of people with some kind of intellectual disability but there was no one obviously facilitating the event.
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It sounds rather like a group of autistics and similar NDs socialising. Everyone is listening attentively to everyone, and relishing the chance to talk about what they want to talk about.

In a minute, or five, or the next day or next month's meetup there will be sentences like

"Is the rabbit an escape artist?"
"I wonder if your sister will keep her wedding dress - have you seen the fad for Trash the Dress events?"
"Weather's about the same as last time..."

Attentive listening, freedom to talk and other people who can carry multiple threads of conversation over time. Bliss!

some kind of intellectual disability
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some kind of intellectual difference. TFTFY :oldm:
 
It could have been a group of people with socialisation issues, who get together to practice small talk, like Frideswide mentions above.
They may be people who normally discuss quantum theory and theoretical mathematics, but find they can't engage in conversation with many other people. So they practice talking about mundane, trivial subjects.
 
Mythopoeika said:
It could have been a group of people with socialisation issues, who get together to practice small talk, like Frideswide mentions above.
They may be people who normally discuss quantum theory and theoretical mathematics, but find they can't engage in conversation with many other people. So they practice talking about mundane, trivial subjects.
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What, you mean like people on this forum?
 
Mythopoeika said:
It could have been a group of people with socialisation issues, who get together to practice small talk, like Frideswide mentions above.
They may be people who normally discuss quantum theory and theoretical mathematics, but find they can't engage in conversation with many other people. So they practice talking about mundane, trivial subjects.
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My friend's son (who is autistic) understands that conversation consists of one person talking, one person being quiet and then taking their turn to talk, but he doesn't understand that the thing he then talks about should at least be tangentially connected to what the first person was saying. So conversation with him will be something like:

Me - The sky is really dramatic at the moment, look at the clouds, they're amazing!
Him - the cat did a really funny thing this morning,
Me Have you been taking any photos of the sky?
Him - she ran indoors and then ran out again! My car is making a strange noise.
Me Or really? Maybe it's going to break down.
Him and then she ran round and round the tree and she's not supposed to go near the tree.
Me What sort of noise is your car making?
Him I had a dream last night that the cat ran away.

That sort of thing. He doesn't really 'get' that conversations are linked statements where one leads to another, and that you can cover the weather, photography, the cat being odd and a car making noises in one conversation, but in a 'linked' kind of way. For him, conversation is all statements.
 
catseye said:
My friend's son (who is autistic) understands that conversation consists of one person talking, one person being quiet and then taking their turn to talk, but he doesn't understand that the thing he then talks about should at least be tangentially connected to what the first person was saying. So conversation with him will be something like:

Me - The sky is really dramatic at the moment, look at the clouds, they're amazing!
Him - the cat did a really funny thing this morning,
Me Have you been taking any photos of the sky?
Him - she ran indoors and then ran out again! My car is making a strange noise.
Me Or really? Maybe it's going to break down.
Him and then she ran round and round the tree and she's not supposed to go near the tree.
Me What sort of noise is your car making?
Him I had a dream last night that the cat ran away.

That sort of thing. He doesn't really 'get' that conversations are linked statements where one leads to another, and that you can cover the weather, photography, the cat being odd and a car making noises in one conversation, but in a 'linked' kind of way. For him, conversation is all statements.
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MrsF says I do this with her, but the reality is that when she for eg, starts talking about what some woman said/did at work (who I don't like), or what some other person said in a shop, I phase out very quickly. That's due to indifference though, not autism.
 
catseye said:
Me - The sky is really dramatic at the moment, look at the clouds, they're amazing!
Him - the cat did a really funny thing this morning,
Me Have you been taking any photos of the sky?
Him - she ran indoors and then ran out again! My car is making a strange noise.
Me Or really? Maybe it's going to break down.
Him and then she ran round and round the tree and she's not supposed to go near the tree.
Me What sort of noise is your car making?
Him I had a dream last night that the cat ran away.

That sort of thing. He doesn't really 'get' that conversations are linked statements where one leads to another, and that you can cover the weather, photography, the cat being odd and a car making noises in one conversation, but in a 'linked' kind of way. For him, conversation is all statements.
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But he is conversing. He will have heard what you said and may make a seemingly random comment the next time he speaks with you, but it will be in reference to your earlier conversation.

I know a person who has autistic tendencies (never diagnosed formally) and she repeats the same comments daily. She has a pattern of discussion. People tend to ignore what she is saying because it is always the same. I have known her for years and enjoy talking with her.

I tell people (her support staff) that it may be repetitive, but this shows she is ok. It's when she says something random that is not part of her patter that is important. This is when something is concerning to her and then I try to find out what is bothering her.
 
catseye said:
That sort of thing. He doesn't really 'get' that conversations are linked statements where one leads to another, and that you can cover the weather, photography, the cat being odd and a car making noises in one conversation, but in a 'linked' kind of way. For him, conversation is all statements.
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That's the way NT conversations work. For other people they can be more spread out, liking and acknowledging that we see connections that NTs don't, less pressured and so on.

It's one of the big stumbling blocks :( Each group likes and values their own way of having conversations. NTs think we don't do things according to /their/ definitions and so are wrong, We think NTs spend a lot of time in vapid yapping and obvious social rituals which they deny when they are pointed out. :dunno:

It's an NT world and so it's useful for us to learn the dance steps if we can. But when we gather together we are practicing socialisation only on a few occasions. Otherwise we are doing actual socialisation!
 
Frideswide said:
That's the way NT conversations work. For other people they can be more spread out, liking and acknowledging that we see connections that NTs don't, less pressured and so on.

It's one of the big stumbling blocks :( Each group likes and values their own way of having conversations. NTs think we don't do things according to /their/ definitions and so are wrong, We think NTs spend a lot of time in vapid yapping and obvious social rituals which they deny when they are pointed out. :dunno:

It's an NT world and so it's useful for us to learn the dance steps if we can. But when we gather together we are practicing socialisation only on a few occasions. Otherwise we are doing actual socialisation!
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I'm ND myself and I don't have a problem with his 'conversation'. He can be persuaded to exchange information in a conventional way as long as it is on one of his topics of special interest. But then, I don't have to live with him!
 
frankiefelix said:
They were eating and making some kind of small talk BUT each person was seemingly speaking to themselves, with no reference to what anyone else was saying.
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I've eavesdropped on countless conversations like this. (They are monotonous, real dialogs are much more fun to listen to!) The people in these types of conversations don't seem to me to be NT or intellectually challenged, or even socially awkward, just self-centered. They don't talk over each other, but each individual sticks with their own separate topic like they're engaged in dueling monologues.
 
Floyd1 said:
MrsF says I do this with her, but the reality is that when she for eg, starts talking about what some woman said/did at work (who I don't like), or what some other person said in a shop, I phase out very quickly. That's due to indifference though, not autism.
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LOL - Now I know why Mr. R does the exact same thing to me!
 
As a former bartender, I noticed for years that people would often speak in choppy, unrelated conversations -
But then they were high, or somewhat drunk.
Especially the women - one woman would talk about something, the others would be looking at her, seemingly paying attention, then when she was finished speaking, one of the other women would start a conversation on an entirely different subject.
I would have to turn my back so they wouldn't see me laughing, I could never figure out if the women were bored with someone's train of thought, or thought their own conversation was more interesting.
LOL
 
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