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maximus otter

Recovering policeman
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#61
...I often started whistling when trying to walk through the customers...
One of the (many) things that really crinkle my sphincter is old men who whistle in shops. Outside in the street? Dead silent. One ulcerated foot over the threshold and they start a reedy, tuneless whistling.

It’s as though they feel a need to restate and emphasise the fact of their existence lest they blink out of existence like soap bubbles.

STFU
, crumblies!

maximus otter
 

Bigphoot2

Carbon Based Infestation
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#62
One of the (many) things that really crinkle my sphincter is old men who whistle in shops. Outside in the street? Dead silent. One ulcerated foot over the threshold and they start a reedy, tuneless whistling.

It’s as though they feel a need to restate and emphasise the fact of their existence lest they blink out of existence like soap bubbles.

STFU
, crumblies!

maximus otter
There's an old guy near me who does that when he's on the bus. Every time he exhales he whistles some stupid little tune over and bloody over again.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
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#64
One of the (many) things that really crinkle my sphincter is old men who whistle in shops. Outside in the street? Dead silent. One ulcerated foot over the threshold and they start a reedy, tuneless whistling.

It’s as though they feel a need to restate and emphasise the fact of their existence lest they blink out of existence like soap bubbles.

STFU
, crumblies!

maximus otter
I'm a pretty accomplished whistler if I do say so myself, my Grandad taught me (and how to play his harmonica which I've still got) .... yep, whistle in shops and you get half the aisle to yourself. Works every time. Other than that, I don't sound pollute and stick to whistling at home.
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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#65
I'm a pretty accomplished whistler if I do say so myself, my Grandad taught me (and how to play his harmonica which I've still got) .... yep, whistle in shops and you get half the aisle to yourself. Works every time. Other than that, I don't sound pollute and stick to whistling at home.
Thanks. I'll remember to do that when I'm shopping.
I whistle a lot at home and I think I'm almost Roger Whittaker's competition (OK, not there yet).
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

Increasingly unlikely
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#66
I dunno .. no one ever sits next to me.
Not anymore.

;)



I do not like people invading my space, so i back away and if they follow i push them away, and tell them straight, you are in my space, sod off and stand over there, or, get away from me.
Ooh Shady you're much braver than I am! Pushing them away? You are clearly a force not to be reckoned with. Of course, you've got your CSI badge, so... :D
 

escargot

Beloved of Ra
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#67
Haven't encountered a whistler in a while. Have they stopped teaching it? I do know a complete moron who will sing a tuneless 'dah dah dee, dah dah dah' when he's walking about. I think it's his way of saying 'Here I am.'
I often sing at work to alert people to the fact that I'm about to barge past. They hear this awful noise, turn to gawp and see me bearing down on them. The Red Sea's not in it!
 

escargot

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#68
Several years ago I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor's surgery. I happened to be the only person in the waiting room, which consisted of two rows of plastic chairs I was sitting on the end chair of the front row. In walks a woman who gave her details to the receptionist then proceeded to sit... right next to me. Not on the five or six empty chairs further over, or the completely empty row behind, but right next to me. :mad:
Easy. Just turn towards her and cough or sneeze.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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#71
It probably explains why some people wear enough perfume to choke others, its a defence mechanism to keep peeps away, that or they have no sense of smell.
I was acquainted with a couple of young ladies heavily into clubbing back in the 1970's who mentioned they'd lay on additional perfume if they didn't particularly want to be approached in general or hemmed in on the dance floor.

As often as not, excessive perfume (etc.) is associated with older folks. The sense of smell often deteriorates markedly once one ages past their sixties.

Last month I posted about a woman's runny nose that turned out to be a cerebrospinal fluid leak, noting it had happened to a co-worker of mine back in the 1980's:

http://forum.forteantimes.com/index...ries-bizarre-cases.13652/page-11#post-1753762

One of the clues I leveraged to make the co-worker consult a physician was telling her her perfume-presence had notably escalated during the weeks the supposed runny nose had appeared and gotten worse. She hadn't realized it, because the leak had damaged her olfactory capabilities (to some extent permanently, as it turned out ... ).
 

escargot

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#73
One of the clues I leveraged to make the co-worker consult a physician was telling her her perfume-presence had notably escalated during the weeks the supposed runny nose had appeared and gotten worse. She hadn't realized it, because the leak had damaged her olfactory capabilities (to some extent permanently, as it turned out ... ).
That's really clever.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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#74
That's really clever.
It really didn't involve much cleverness ... The upsurge in aromatic cosmetics had been noticed and become a separate source of behind-the-scenes joking (about that co-worker) before the unusually rampant nose drippings emerged as an issue. I just 'put two and two together'.
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

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#75
Easy. Just turn towards her and cough or sneeze.
Or start scratching and tell them in graphic detail about a nasty rash down below which started around the same time as your sudden burst of severe diarrhea and projectile vomiting :)

I was a nice, wholesome, naive little Zebs till I joined this forum. :rollingw:
 

Naughty_Felid

No longer interesting
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#76
One of the (many) things that really crinkle my sphincter is old men who whistle in shops. Outside in the street? Dead silent. One ulcerated foot over the threshold and they start a reedy, tuneless whistling.

It’s as though they feel a need to restate and emphasise the fact of their existence lest they blink out of existence like soap bubbles.

STFU
, crumblies!

maximus otter
You realize, judging by your bike photo, you are about 10 minutes away from being one of those dudes?
 

INT21

Justified & Ancient
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#82
Zebra,

Next time you are in a Queue and someone starts scratching and describing his lower region illnesses, just smile sweetly and say 'You are Bigphoot2 and I claim my £5'.

INT21
 

Schrodinger's Zebra

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#85
Zebra,

Next time you are in a Queue and someone starts scratching and describing his lower region illnesses, just smile sweetly and say 'You are Bigphoot2 and I claim my £5'.

INT21
This has gone completely over my head, sorry :sorry: claim £5 ??

(Apologies for killing your joke)
 

INT21

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#88
Zebra,

It was a play on Bigphoot2's post#69 above.

You see someone acting as Bigphoot2 describes and use the phrase as mentioned by David Plankton.

Much confusion follows.

The phrase was quite popular some (many) years ago.

Guess it's an old phoggies in-crowd joke these days.

INT21
 
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