But that doesn't change why you were "snubbed". As I have said I think you were right, you were no longer useful to those people who had previously held you in some esteem.
We all know when we are being snubbed.
You became angry at this as you thought, (rightly so you were/are a teacher), that you were no longer given the respect you thought you deserved.
You suffered from the "fallacy of fairness" until you realized that these people were selfish and probably not worth your time either.
I absolutely don't think there was malice involved. Some people are just manipulative and probably moved on to the next teacher. This isn't a reflection on you it's a reflection on people. People can be shallow.
You use the word respect. Respect is extremely important in this context. And you are right, being snubbed dis-respected me. Yet this had nothing to do with my expectations as a teacher. Had I been a shopworker, a miner, a schoolchild, a farmer – it would not have mattered - being snubbed dis-respected me. Being snubbed would dis-respect you too. The person doing the snubbing is behaving badly. She is disrespecting both herself and the person she is snubbing. What person with any self-respect would make a habit of fawning on other people to manipulate them?
With the benefit of hindsight and greater maturity, I also know that when the parent was being “friendly”, was fawning on me, was currying favour, that it was also dis-respectful. And again, you are right. The parent was being manipulative. She was currying favour with me to get into my good graces so that I would be biased toward her child in class. Had I been older and wiser at the time, I would have recognized that she was not being in the least friendly, that she was lying to me, in fact, and also have sensed that correctly.
And I did sense that correctly in another context because I was older and wiser. When I was promoted to middle-management, I became “boss”, among others, to a younger female teacher. Before I became her boss, she was chatty and often cheeky to me. This didn’t bother me. However, when I became her boss, her manner towards me transformed. She grovelled. This was so pronounced that I mentally likened her to the Dickens’ character, Uriah Heep. Her manner could only be described as unctuous, obsequious and palpably insincere. And my senses told me this in no uncertain terms. While this behaviour may have flattered other, less savvy bosses (as intended), it irritated me greatly. When I resigned from my promoted post, when I was no longer her boss, her behaviour instantly reverted to its former self. What person with any pride, with any self-respect at all, could behave like that? In Uriah Heep, Dickens’ drew a character that he knew people would dislike, and correctly so. At the very least, my obsequious colleague was lying to me. Who could ever trust someone that behaved in such a manner?
As to people who habitually dis-respect others, a traveller’s tale:
I understand all too well the difficulties one can get into if one misinterprets what is being communicated or makes an innocent blunder oneself, most especially in foreign cultures. These “difficulties” include having had knives drawn on me. Had I and my travelling companion not been able to understand why our actions had caused offence – we had been unintentionally dis-respectful – and had we then not been able to modify our behaviour appropriately, we would have been flown home in coffins.
I will add here that the way we behaved in the above instance had worked for us before in different cultures and had not caused offence. Attempting to fob off one of the many street sellers in this unfamiliar culture, we therefore adopted the same behaviour. As I said above, in this culture our behaviour was interpreted as disrespectful. Furthermore, the advice in the well-respected guide book (re fobbing off street sellers) was also wrong – it advised behaving in the same way as we had initially done - and anyone who followed its extremely bad advice would likely have come to harm as we nearly did.
Good behaviour is no trivial matter. Understanding the difference between good and bad behaviour could cost a person their life. And, frankly, therapists know s**t about good/bad behaviour. I mean "fallacy of fairness"? Oh, p-lease!