Punishment To Fit The Tree Crime

JamesWhitehead

JamesWhitehead

Piffle Prospector
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Tree Crime deserving of lengthy prison terms,

Horrible crimes attract a lot of gloating speculation online about the things they imagine might happen to the perps, once they are in prison.

Given that chain-saws are unlikely to be available 'inside' - but Lord, who knows! - can we find some appropriate punishment for the moronic tree-fellas?

To have seedlings implanted?

That anyone should be allowed to climb them at any time?

That anyone should be allowed to carve their initials in their trunks?

Deep holes for mistletoe could be drilled, to turn evil into good?

With legal disclaimers, should anyone carry them out, of course. :)
 
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JamesWhitehead said:
Tree Crime deserving of lengthy prison terms,

Horrible crimes attract a lot of gloating speculation online about the things they imagine might happen to the perps, once they are in prison.

Given that chain-saws are unlikely to be available 'inside' - but Lord, who knows! - can we find some appropriate punishment for the moronic tree-fellas?

To have seedlings implanted?

That anyone should be allowed to climb them at any time?

That anyone should be allowed to carve their initials in their trunks?

Deep holes for mistletoe could be drilled, to turn evil into good?

With legal disclaimers, should anyone carry them out, of course. :)
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I think that particular crime falls into the same category as 'woman who put that cat in that wheelie bin just because'. It made me think of Grahame Green's book 'The Destructors'. The kids in that story burned the man's money because they wanted to see what would happen when they tear the world apart (to quote Donnie Darko). Some people are just destructive arseholes for the sake of it for the buzz ... like vandals who used to smash up telephone boxes and whoever the arsehole is who's been trying to peel the stickers off the colourful lamp post on my road. Which is why I went down one night and did a few layers of spray varnish on it to thwart them.
 
maximus otter said:
It was a tree, FFS.

99.5% of the UK population had never heard of it until it was cut down, when — obviously — it became The Most Incredibly Wonderfullest Tree Evah!

Fine plus costs plus pay for a replacement.

maximus otter
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Yes. I thought the witch-hunt was a colossal waste of money that should have been spent on solving violent crime. I love trees, and think it was a shockingly ignorant thing to do, but some perspective is in order. The judge is now talking about a "substantial custodial sentence ". That's more than some violent offenders get. It's trial by media. I went back to look at all my tourist leaflets and booklets from Hadrian's Wall in the mid-1990s, and that tree wasn't even mentioned, let alone a photo.
 
maximus otter said:
It was a tree, FFS.

99.5% of the UK population had never heard of it until it was cut down, when — obviously — it became The Most Incredibly Wonderfullest Tree Evah!

Fine plus costs plus pay for a replacement.

maximus otter
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Better to focus time and resources on hunting amateur lumberjacks than on patrolling Facebook.

I also think that a public illustration that acting like a proper dickhead is unacceptable to most of society has considerable value.

A bit of door-to-door work might also help Contemporary Plod slim down a little.
 
maximus otter said:
It was a tree, FFS.

99.5% of the UK population had never heard of it until it was cut down, when — obviously — it became The Most Incredibly Wonderfullest Tree Evah!
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Well, considering Bryan Adams was at number one for a million years with the video of the song from the film, I think quite a few had heard of it.
maximus otter said:
Fine plus costs plus pay for a replacement.
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How to replace a 200 year old tree though?
We couldn't 'replace' Gordon could we?
maximus otter said:
maximus otter
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My first suggestion of dealing with these two morons was to re-enact the scene from Scarface with Tony Montana- Say hello to my little frien!!
 
Floyd said:
People are sick to the back teeth of vandalism- in parks/children's play areas/statues/cars/walls et al.
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I get that. Truly.
But calls, even tongue-in-cheek ones, to go medieval on the vandals' arses, seem a bit OTT.
Some people got 2 years in gaol after the Southport protests turned nasty, for posting hurty things on TikTok or shouting at a police dog.
I would say these vandals probably deserve sentences in the same sort of ball park.
 
blessmycottonsocks said:
Some people got 2 years in gaol after the Southport protests turned nasty, for posting hurty things on TikTok or shouting at a police dog.
I would say these vandals probably deserve sentences in the same sort of ball park.
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There has to be a decent deterrent though, or else otherwise in a few years time the same thing will happen again.
 
What, to me seems to be emerging from this debate is that punishments in general are becoming unrelated to the severity of the crime.

Those who commit a crime should receive some sort of punishment related to the severity, whether it is a repeat offence, the mental health of the convicted and any extenuating circumstance, etc. Otherwise there is no incentive for the criminal to stop or for others to follow suite.

However, it seems that the extenuating circumstances are trotted out to justify just about anything that anyone does and it's almost pot luck as to what a judge or jury accept, often seemingly guided by media influence. Hence disproportionate sentences which further fuel the media stirring over certain crimes.

We are getting close to the old sick joke about a child who murdered his parents being let off because he's an orphan.

Someone commiting a public act of vandalism needs to receive a proportionate and public punishment, how that is related in proportion to someone who murders children and assaults a prison guard or commits a drive by shooting is the difficulty. With actual time served for "killing" i.e. murder reduced to manslaughter routinely as little as ten years there is less and less leeway for proportionality.
 
Of course, if this was a Folk Horror movie the perps would have their intestines nailed to the trunk and be made to walk around the tree until their entrails had entirely unravelled. (I've not made that up. If my memory is correct, this punishment is actually mentioned in Simon Schama's majestic opus Landscape and Memory - I think in relation to the Germanic tribes.)

maximus otter said:
It was a tree, FFS...
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Here's the thing though. I'm not sure anyone's being entirely serious.

Well, apart from the entrails thing.
 
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Spookdaddy said:
Of course, if his was a Folk Horror movie the perps would have their intestines nailed to the trunk and be made to walk around the tree until their entrails had entirely unravelled. (I've not made that up. If my memory is correct, this punishment is actually mentioned in Simon Schama's majestic opus Landscape and Memory - I think in relation to the Germanic tribes.)
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Njal's Saga. Broðir was a Viking mercenary at the famous Battle of Clontarf in Ireland, and Njals saga places the responsibility for the death of the Irish high Brian Boru at his feet.

Messengers ran to tell the pursuers that King Brian had fallen. Úlf Hræða and Kerthjálfað turned back at once. They surrounded Broðir and his men, and smothered their weapons with branches. Broðir was now taken prisoner. Úlf Hræða slit open his belly and led him around and oak tree, and in this way pulled out his intestines; Broðir did not die until they had all been pulled out of him.

https://thepostgradchronicles.org/2...walks-and-hung-meat-assessing-viking-torture/

maximus otter
 
SimonBurchell said:
Yes. I thought the witch-hunt was a colossal waste of money that should have been spent on solving violent crime. I love trees, and think it was a shockingly ignorant thing to do, but some perspective is in order. The judge is now talking about a "substantial custodial sentence ". That's more than some violent offenders get. It's trial by media. I went back to look at all my tourist leaflets and booklets from Hadrian's Wall in the mid-1990s, and that tree wasn't even mentioned, let alone a photo.
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They should make the bastards spend an evening reading Floyd's jokes.
 
Swifty said:
They should make the bastards spend an evening reading Floyd's jokes.
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giphy.gif


“No, please, I’ll take the genital cuff! Anything but that!”

maximus otter
 
maximus otter said:
Njal's Saga. Broðir was a Viking mercenary at the famous Battle of Clontarf in Ireland, and Njals saga places the responsibility for the death of the Irish high Brian Boru at his feet.

Messengers ran to tell the pursuers that King Brian had fallen. Úlf Hræða and Kerthjálfað turned back at once. They surrounded Broðir and his men, and smothered their weapons with branches. Broðir was now taken prisoner. Úlf Hræða slit open his belly and led him around and oak tree, and in this way pulled out his intestines; Broðir did not die until they had all been pulled out of him.

https://thepostgradchronicles.org/2...walks-and-hung-meat-assessing-viking-torture/

maximus otter
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The first Icelandic saga I ever read, back in my schooldays.
Brilliant stuff!

I tend to believe though that the Bible got it spot-on in Exodus.
"An eye for an eye" is a beautifully succinct way to describe reciprocal justice i.e. no punishment should exceed the severity of the crime.
 
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