Rabbit Penises Grown In Lab

A

Anonymous

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#1
Scientists have grown major parts of rabbits' penises in the laboratory.

The segments were grown from the animals' own cells and they were able to use the reconstructed organs to mate, according to New Scientist magazine.

The next step is to try to recreate the entire organ from scratch, it said.

The technique could make it possible to rebuild the penises of men who have been injured or those of children born with genital abnormalities, the magazine added.

It could also provide an alternative to current methods for enlarging the penis, such as injecting fat cells, it said.

A patient would have penile cells removed by a doctor and, a few weeks later the organ, or parts of it grown using the cells, could be surgically implanted.

After the surgery the rabbits behaved true to type, trying to have sex within 30 seconds of being put in a cage with a female.

"They were able to copulate, penetrate and produce sperm," Anthony Atala, of Harvard Medical School, whose team carried out the work, told the magazine.

The penises generated about half of the normal pressure of an erect penis. "It's analogous to the penis of a 60-year-old man, versus that of a 30-year-old," Mr Atala said.

It may be a while before the technique is tried with human tissue, the magazine said.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_668763.html
 

minordrag

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#2
Dark Detective said:
After the surgery the rabbits behaved true to type, trying to have sex within 30 seconds of being put in a cage with a female.
This is exactly what the world needs. More rabbits.

This is the perfect thread (not meaning to hijack or anything--wait--yes I am) to polish our one-liner skills.

Everyone please submit their best one-liner joke about this thread. As you can see, mine was pretty limp. *giggle*
 
A

Anonymous

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#3
I tried to think of an appropriately off-colour comment to make, but gave up because it got too hard...
 

littleblackduck

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#6
Monster Penis escapes from Lab; Runs amuck in Regina (Saskatchewan)

No, wait:

Lab-Grown Penises: Scientist Reprimanded for Lying about Size

And inevitably:

Brussels Sets European Standards for Penis Size

Editorial: Yes, Virginia, There is an Easter Bunny

Research Lab Shares Rise on Good Penis News
 

JamesWhitehead

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#8
Something stirred as I read this tale.

Yes, it was a strange memory of a picture on Pravda, which I am pleased
to see is still there. And worth mentioning, if anyone missed it last year.

So how's this for one off the wrist? :p

english.pravda.ru/fun/2001/08/10/12267.html
Link is dead. See later post for description of the MIA article.
 
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littleblackduck

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#9
Oops! Sorry! I thought you were looking for headlines

Misread the original post.

Here are some one-liners:

(Jay Leno Style :) Have you heard? A lab has grown rabbit penises. Makes you wonder what all those scientists do with their spare time.

(David Letterman Style :) Top 10 Good Things about a Lab-Grown Rabbit Penis

1. It keeps on going, and going, and going.

(Conan O'Brien Style :) Scientists claim they can now grow rabbit penises in the laboratory. I guess that Viagra spokesman Senator Robert Dole will soon be out of a job. Too bad they can't grow something useful like a woman that isn't turned off by a giant-headed carrot-topped Irish American freak.
 

EnolaGaia

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#10
Here's the text and associated photo from the MIA Pravda item cited by James Whitehead (Post #8).

NOTE: Photo deliberately placed at the bottom of the text to keep it out of view unless / until you click to expand the quoted text.
18:24 2001-08-10
DOCTORS GREW PENIS ON GUY'S ARM
16-year-old guy Malik was ready to make up with the idea he will never be a real man. But the doctors gave the hope back to him.

The guy was deprived of his genitals when peeing. The urine spurt incidentally got on the bald wire. The current rush caused so much damage to the sexual organ that it had to be amputated. The guy's relatives did not want to make up with that fate and started searching for some medical institution that could bring the love handles back. They found it.

The specialists of the department for reconstructive micro-surgery of the Russian clinical hospital for children examined Malik and said the situation could be improved. In the beginning they made a cut on his forearm and stitched an expander in there √ a 12 centimeter empty latex cylinder. A certain amount of physical solution was injected in the expander daily, the skin was expanding and growing taking the shape of a penis. This organ was growing on guy's arm for 10 months! Finally the doctors cut it away from Malik's forearm together with the feeding artery, made an urethra in it and sew it to the place where it should be.

- If they make an artificial limb in a while then our guy will be able to have the normal sex life, - surgeon Sergei Yasonov said.


PENISS.jpg


Salvaged from the Wayback Machine:
https://web.archive.org/web/20010913023102/http://english.pravda.ru/fun/2001/08/10/12267.html
 

hunck

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#11

JamesWhitehead

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#12
Is this for real or a cock & bull story?
pravda.ru published a lot of piffle! There was one about two girls and a cat . . . :rollingw:

I see it is still up and running!

"When Svetlana returned home from the hospital, she had to tell the story to her husband, Boris. The man could not take the fact that his wife preferred having oral sex with a cat: Boris kicked Svetlana out of the house and the abandoned woman had to stay with her mother."

The cat was named Timka, by the way. He evidently needed to be put in the mood by an adult movie. :cat:
 
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INT21

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#13
Poor Jessica, in darkest despair
Said 'my hubby was caught in a snare
I will do you a favour
the kind you will savor,
please make a new todger for Rodger the Rabbit'

INT21.
 
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