Random Stuff From Your Neck O' The Woods

Mythopoeika

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One of the Mrs's friends has just served here in Cromer today here today, gone tomorrow popstar Jessie J and Channing Tatum if that impresses anyone reading this .. I think they're famous if you're 14 years old or something? .. apparently he's an American actor.

edit: she's just shown me a photo of him. he also came into our shop today and asked me to throw some inconsequential bit of plastic crap into our bin so we did.
WTF brought those two to Cromer?
 

Swifty

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WTF brought those two to Cromer?
At least twice now as well I've learned .. I can't say online exactly where they were because this girl's a manager there so I don't want to get her in trouble .. the waitress's were sniggering though because he asked where the "restroom" was and as you know, us heathen English just say "toilet".

Don't underestimate Cromer, tons of famous people come here because it's off the beaten track and the locals mostly don't bother them. John and Norma Major walked past us on the pier one day!.

It wasn't unusual to walk past John Hurt either after he moved here, I sold him some fish a couple of times and he liked his whisky .. the woman looking approvingly at him with the red hat in the background was/is his lover Anwyn.


A young Winston Churchill got told off by locals on at least two occasions (for being a dickhead to his nanny). I'll probably avoid Jim Davidson this time who's reversed his flounce (so he's coming back unfortunately) that saw me being quoted in The Sun newspaper after me and the Mrs stuck up for Cromer.

As much as Churchill complained about Cromer, he kept coming back here, even after he retired as Prime Minister. He was a spoilt little prat as a kid so his nanny ended up at a hospital here after he'd thrown an inkwell at her.

https://www.lowestoftjournal.co.uk/...ll-s-comment-on-his-visit-to-cromer-1-4842784
 
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Yithian

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There's something unsettling about tourist attractions drained of tourists and my impromptu trip to Imijingak certainly met the description. It's located a couple of miles from the DMZ ('the last village'), but the settlements around it are all fairly sparse and secluded--until you stumble across a 'rest-stop' that is lit up like a Christmas tree in the darkness and billowing steam into the night! My daughter asked whether ghosts lived by the road, which reflected my own sense of the place at dusk: iodine skies, looming silhouettes and dense thickets on the horizon.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imjingak

Forgive the ambitious use of filters. I'm not an expert, but I was trying to evoke the mood.

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Swifty

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The Mrs made me go with her to watch this a few days ago, our prom's sea defence walls getting a battering again. This is nothing compared to the 2013 storm when I had to cycle up the coastal road, the sea spray on that bad boy went over the tops of the 5 story buildings and smashed large chunks of the old sea wall off .. that was mental.


 
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The Mrs made me go with her to watch this a few days ago, our prom's sea defence walls getting a battering again. This is nothing compared to the 2013 storm when I had to cycle up the coastal road, the sea spray on that bad boy went over the tops of the 5 story buildings and smashed large chunks of the old sea wall off .. that was mental.


The Deep Ones will come ashore soon for the annual mating with the locals.

Have you seen Tidelands on Netflix? Could be set in Cromer.
 

Swifty

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The Deep Ones will come ashore soon for the annual mating with the locals.

Have you seen Tidelands on Netflix? Could be set in Cromer.
We were on Channel 4 a couple of days ago on that game show called 'Hunted' where ten contestants go on the run and ex police types have to catch them. Two of the blokes on the run ended up here in one of the caravan parks for a bit. Not a bad watch, it's still on catch up if you're interested.
 

maximus otter

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...that game show called 'Hunted' where ten contestants go on the run and ex police types have to catch them. Two of the blokes on the run ended up here in one of the caravan parks for a bit.
Hackneyed and predictable: The first item on the SIOs’ checklist in Blackstone’s is “Search Cromer caravan parks”.

maximus otter
 

Bad Bungle

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There was (or is) a Private sex shop on the outskirts of Hemel Hempstead with a discrete side entrance. The exit however was through the shop front door, which opened onto the pavement in front of a busy small road and directly opposite a large Pub with outside seating. Departures were heralded by a large sprung door-bell and every time the 'Ding' was heard the Pub patrons would let out a loud cheer. According to the local papers (~6 years ago) this caused embarrassment to the shop's customers clutching their brown paper packages. The Pub refused to (or couldn't) kerb their drinkers' banter and the shop wouldn't get rid of the bell, so (after 20 years) they put up a wooden panel and let customers enter and exit via the side door.


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Swifty

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There was (or is) a Private sex shop on the outskirts of Hemel Hempstead with a discrete side entrance. The exit however was through the shop front door, which opened onto the pavement in front of a busy small road and directly opposite a large Pub with outside seating. Departures were heralded by a large sprung door-bell and every time the 'Ding' was heard the Pub patrons would let out a loud cheer. According to the local papers (~6 years ago) this caused embarrassment to the shop's customers clutching their brown paper packages. The Pub refused to (or couldn't) kerb their drinkers' banter and the shop wouldn't get rid of the bell, so (after 20 years) they put up a wooden panel and let customers enter and exit via the side door.


View attachment 14149
Is it any good inside?
 

Swifty

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Is it any good inside?
The last time I was in a sex shop was in Birmingham, me and the ex saw it and thought "Yeah .. let's go in!". She complained that none of the porn was for women so when she wasn't looking, I bought an all men S&M magazine for her and gave it to her as a joke gift when we'd got back home. We had a laugh and then forgot all about the mag.

Maybe a year later, I got home and the ex said she had a confession to make .. her mum had come round to help her tidy up and found the forgotten mag in a pile of stuff. The ex had told her mum it wasn't hers and her mum never brought it up again although she was decidedly off with me from then on.

Fast forward a few years and not long after me and the ex had moved to Cromer, we decided to break up. I was sat on a bench overlooking the sea and a mate (Craig) was sat next to me when I suddenly saw the ex's mum marching down the promenade below us and clearly on the warpath looking for me. I said to Craig "Shit! .. that's xxxxxx's mum!" .. then without warning, Craig suddenly dropped his head down over my lap and started bobbing his head up and down in comedy blow job fashion .. she looked up at that exact same moment, saw me and a blokes head bobbing up and down and just kept walking instead. He probably did me a favour doing that now I look back on it.
 

maximus otter

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...Craig suddenly dropped his head down over my lap and started bobbing his head up and down in comedy blow job fashion .. she looked up at that exact same moment, saw me and a blokes head bobbing up and down and just kept walking instead. He probably did me a favour doing that now I look back on it.
So there was a happy ending?

maximus otter
 

Swifty

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So there was a happy ending?

maximus otter
He had a green Mohican as well which made things look even more pervy .. the same bloke I told you about who used to spin his nob round and shout "helicopter helicopter!" in that professional kitchen. He was a top laugh though.

On a more pleasant note, Cromer Council have decided to go with my idea again of an artificial ice rink over looking the sea for a week or so .. it must have paid off last year then :cool:

http://northlodgepark.org.uk/synthetic-ice-rink-in-cromer-february-half-term-2019/
 

Yithian

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How do you manage to photograph scenes that are empty of people (when they would normally be filled with people)?
I lurk and strike.

In this case, Miss Yith led me immediately to the huge 'ball-pit' (that photo doesn't show half of it), which was the other side of the building from the entrance while all the other kids seemed to head for the trampolines upstairs in the other direction.

I've never been there before, but it was an amazing place for kids: 'Alice's Beneficial Kid's Cafe' (can't really express that accurately, the word that gets translated as 'beneficial' kind of means helpful, in the sense that it helps stuff to happen). It's about as large as a leisure centre, across three floors with everything connected to everywhere else via tubes and walkways. You pay by the hour and everything inside is free, but if you buy stuff there it doesn't cost much. Lots of 'yummy mummies' / 'ladies who lunch', plus a handful of fathers like myself. They have a cafeteria/cafe that serves beer and snacks, an electric car race-track downstairs, trampolines, arcade machines, a comic book library, a 'camping zone', 'art & craft zone', a faux 'beauty salon' and 'shop', free costume rental, a mini train and a reptile house that puts most small zoos to shame: 50+ turtles/terrapins/turtles of all size, snakes, chameleons, geckos, monitor lizards, iguanas etc. Most of the kids had no interest at all in that, but Miss Yith and I gawped at each and every tank.
 

Yithian

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We last ate here a year ago, but with the cold weather and a busy week for work, we decided to push the boat out. It's a very large seafood restaurant on two large floors. It could probably seat 200 in one room along long tables, but tonight it was only about a third full.

You first enter the enormous 'market-place' downstairs to select and weigh what you would like to eat, and then you move upstairs to order drinks, side-dishes and sundries, and the food comes up cooked (or not) in a dumbwaiter for the less-dumb waitresses to deliver. We had a whole king crab between two of us, steamed and the eaten with side dishes (and finally) mixed rice, vegetable and dried seaweed--not an ounce was wasted.

My wife basically told the waitress that we didn't know what we were doing, so she went to work on the clawed thing with scissors and delivered a lecture that might have been considered condescending if she weren't clearly an practised expert. If we'd listened to the chap in charge downstairs, we'd now have crab meat oozing out of our ears because he was nudging us towards a W200,000 crab (£140--body this size of my chest), but as it is we're simply stuffed and my head is buzzing from the bomb of protein and zinc.


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Yithian

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The Korean Tourist Board should pay you for this valuable service.
I can't be doing a very good job! The vast majority of times I visit a place that isn't in Seoul or isn't some nationwide tourist attraction, I'm the only non-Korean in attendance. I'm quite used to it by now (in fact, I secretly enjoy it), but the only comparable place I've been was Japan. There's certainly inter-Asian tourism and immigration, but even that is largely limited to specific times and places. I discovered a group of half a dozen Nigerians employed in a printing factory in a small town in the countryside the other month--random as hell--they'll be having a similarly amusing existence, I'd guess. For 'westerners' in particular it can be a colossal pain in the arse to understand 'how things work' and to 'do stuff', but with my semi-intelligible gibberings and (more helpfully) a local spouse, I end up many places that few of my countrymen reach.

No complaints. It's what my grandfather told me it would be like. It's what I signed up for.

 

escargot

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then without warning, Craig suddenly dropped his head down over my lap and started bobbing his head up and down in comedy blow job fashion
A bloke I work with does that to workmates if they sit next to him. It's a shock when they don't know him.
 
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