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Secret World Of Children's Chants

*Reads bazizmaduno's post on way to fridge for midnight snack. Changes mind about snack.*
 
A few I remember-

What do you do
If you wanna have a poo
In an English Country Garden
Pull down your pants
And suffocate the ants
In an English Country Garden

there was more to it but I've long forgotten.

We used to say "catch a finger by the toe" which I never understood until reading this thread..

Does anyone remember the rude version of teddy bear's picnic, which involves various family members getting it on in all kinds of ways? I'd like to hear it again if anyone knows..

Ip-dip
dog s**t
f***ing b*****d
little git
You are not IT

The diarrhea ones were always my faves though:goof:

It's only the really nasty stuff that stuck with me, I hope we had some sweeter things like some others chose too:( I doubt it though.
 
This thread is bringing out the worst in me...

When you're kissing with your honey/And your nose is kinda runny/And you think it might be honey/But it's snot

*ashamed look* Goodness, but kids are preoccupied with...earthy things, aren't they?

Edit: I don't remember how the rest of this one goes; does anyone know it?

I'm mashing up my baby bumble bee
(accompanied by appropriate hand movements)
Won't my mommy be so proud of me
I'm mashing up my baby bumble bee...

What's the rest of it? I remember there were several verses, each building on the last.
 
(Clears throat, cups hands together in front of her)
I'm bringing home my baby bumblebee.
Oh won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm bringing home my baby bumblebee -
(Stops short with pained expression)
Oooooh, he stung me!

(Mashes hands together)
I'm smashing up my baby bumblebee.
Oh won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm smashing up my baby bumbleee -
(Stops short, looks at hands with dismay)
Ooooooh, he's all over me!

(Agressively smears hands all over audience as audience attempts to run away or hold her off, giggling madly)
I'm wiping off my baby bumblebee!
Oh won't my mommy be so proud of me?
I'm wiping off my baby bumblebee -
(Stops short and points at victim)
Oooooh, he's all over you!

I'm cooking dinner, but later I'll treat you to my little sister's other big song from third grade - Little Bunny Foo-foo.
 
Ah, many thanks Peni! I was beginning to wonder if I'd dreamt it up. :)

I have often marveled at the transmission power of these rhymes; they seem to be so widespread, and each generation learns them without missing a beat.
 
This is a complex performance piece, so bear with me - it works much better orally.

(sing and mime)
Little Bunny Foo-foo
Hoppin' through the forest,
Scooping up the field mice
and boppin' 'em on the head!

(Spoken, with exagerrated drama and nursery teacher tones; also mimed)

Down came the GOOOOOD FAAAIRY
And she said: (Resume singing, shaking finger) :no-no:
Little Bunny Foo-foo,
I don't wanna see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head!
(Spoken)
I'm giving you three more chances! And if you're not good, I'm turning you into a GOOOON!

It will come as no shock to you that Little Bunny Foo-foo is *not* good and the routine is repeated the requisite number of times. The Good Fairy's last speech, with suitably dramatic spellcasting gestures, is:

"I'm giving you NO MORE CHANCES!
AND YOU'RE A GOOOOON!

(Spoken)
And the moral of that story is: Hare today, Goon tomorrow!

I got a million of 'em. If no one takes pity on the board and stops me I'll just keep posting, and posting, and posting...
 
zekesparkle said:
What do you do
If you wanna have a poo
In an English Country Garden
Pull down your pants
And suffocate the ants
In an English Country Garden

there was more to it but I've long forgotten.

Our version was;

What do you do when you can't find the loo in an English Country Garden
Pull down your pants and fertilise the plants in an English Country Garden

Then find a leaf and wipe you're underneath and then find a spade and bury what you made
Now you know what to do if you can't find the loo in an English Country Garden.
 
We had the bumble-bee one down our neck of the woods, with a further two verses... It went "I'm licking up my baby bumble-bee..." then, "I'm sicking up my baby bumble bee" - finishing with "Oooh, Eeeh, there's no more bee"

Delightful.
 
And now, for your dancing pleasure, the subtle and elegant story of a woman's journey from dependence to independence, after those around her betray her confidence:

I wish I had a nickel,
I wish I had a dime,
I wish I had a boyfriend
To kiss me all the time.

My mom gave me a nickel,
My dad gave me a dime,
My sister gave me a boyfriend
To kiss me all the time.

My mama took that nickel,
My daddy took that dime,
My sister took that boyfriend
And gave me Frankenstein.

He made me wash the dishes,
He made me wash the floor,
He made me wash his underwear
So I kicked him out the door -
BOOM!

Sniff - that always chokes me up...
 
Thank you for sharing that truly inspirational story, Friend. Anyone else feel the need to share an experience? Yes? You over there?

'scargo -*cough*

I like coffe
I like tea
I like stting on a black man's knee!
 
My mom used to sing "Mademoiselle from Armentieres," (aka "Hinky Dinky Parlay Voo"), but only the nice verses.

My mom also taught me this song, which her mom used to sing when she was blue (and I used it in *The Ghost Sitter*)

Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
I guess I'll go eat some worms.
Gulp! Goes One!
Gulp! Goes Two!
Gulp! Goes Number 3!

Now everybody loves me,
Nobody hates me,
I better urp up them worms.
Urp! Goes One!
Urp! Goes Two!
Urp! Goes Number 3!

Which leads nicely into a bodily function theme:

___

How dry I am,
How wet I'll be,
If I can't find
The bathroom key.

I found the key,
Now where's the door?
Oops, too late -
I peed on the floor.

___

Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay!
I ate my beans today!
My girdle blew away!
Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay!
---

Beans, beans, the musical fruit!
The more you eat 'em, the more you toot,
The more you toot, the better you feel,
So we eat beans at every meal.
___
Edit: I forgot my dad's poem!

Hasten, Jason!
Bring the basin!
Oops, slop!
Bring the mop!
 
Heh, that reminds me of one my Dad used to say.

Johnny get thi' gun there's a tart in't garden,
Johnny get thi' gun there's a tart in't garden.
Johnny got his gun an' his gun were loaded.
Stuffed it up her arse and her c**t exploded!
 
The 'musical fruit' one is sung by Brit kids now after being featured in The Simpsons.

And Qazi, :eek:
 
Peni said:
Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
I guess I'll go eat some worms.
Gulp! Goes One!
Gulp! Goes Two!
Gulp! Goes Number 3!

Now everybody loves me,
Nobody hates me,
I better urp up them worms.
Urp! Goes One!
Urp! Goes Two!
Urp! Goes Number 3!
We had a slightly different version.

Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
Think I'll go an' eat worms.
Long thin skinny ones,
Short fat hairy ones,
See how they wriggle and squirm.
I'm gonna bite off their heads,
Suck out their guts,
Throw their skins away,
Nobody knows how much I thrive,
On worms three times a day.
 
My mother and I have been trying for sometime to understand what the hell this rhyme means.

Picture: 1950's Toronto, Ontario, two girls fashioning a long rope out of elastics called Yoki. They then jump over the elastic rope chanting

Yoki in the kaiser
Yaki nanny ay
Tank in the Saubo
Sidu Siday

My mother and I would like to know what this means. Does it have something to do with WWI? (tank, kasier). But WTF is a saubo?
 
childrens' rhymes

Here's one my Dad used to sing;

Diddy Bo Shay
Was cast away
Upon an Indian Isle
The natives there
They liked his hair
They liked his Irish smile
So they made him Chief Panjandrum
The greatest of them all
O harem scarem sharem
Diddy Bo Shay OK!

.....when he'd been for a few 'gills'!
 
Wenshep said:
My mother and I have been trying for sometime to understand what the hell this rhyme means.

Picture: 1950's Toronto, Ontario, two girls fashioning a long rope out of elastics called Yoki. They then jump over the elastic rope chanting

Yoki in the kaiser
Yaki nanny ay
Tank in the Saubo
Sidu Siday

My mother and I would like to know what this means. Does it have something to do with WWI? (tank, kasier). But WTF is a saubo?

I never heard of it when I was growing up in North Bay in the 70s, but I found a reference to it here:
http://www.recess.ufl.edu/transcripts/2001/0907.shtml
 
A sad tale:

On top of spaghetti,
All covered in cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And onto the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled right out the door.

Went into the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

Anyone remember the name of the tune that goes with this rhyme?
 
"On Top of Old Smokey."

You left off some verses:

The mush was as tasty
as tasty could be,
And early next summer
it grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered
with beautiful moss.
It grew lovely meatballs
and tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti
All covered with cheese,
hang onto your meatballs
and don't ever sneeze!


An alternate parody begins:

On top of Old Smokey
All covered with mud,
There lies my poor teacher (this line can be personalized)
In a puddle of blood.

I don't remember the rest of the verses, but it involves a shotgun and a first person shooter, I believe. Teachers used to tolerate this sort of thing, but I bet you could get expelled for singing it on a lot of playgrounds these days, and even to an old folklore enthusiast like myself it doesn't seem so funny anymore.
 
That's it, thanks. I never knew there were other verses, either.

We used to sing, "On top of a dustbin, all covered in snow, I shot my poor teacher, five minutes ago," and so on (can't recall the rest of it). It does sound a bit worrying these days.
 
children's rhymes

On a seasonal note - don't know all the words to this any more but remember the bit that goes...

Good King Wens'las
Knocked a bobby senseless
Right through Woolworth's winda'
Bobby came out
And gave him a clout
Knocked him back through t' winda'.....

ah me, childhood Christmases .... so nostalgic....!
 
Scottish Hallowe'en Classic:

Not Last night, but the night before
Three wee Witches came to the door.
One with a banjo, one with a drum
And one with a frying pan stuck to her bum!


Very popular as a "party piece" for the wee kids going round the doors, 'guising' for their Hallowe'en sweeties and stuff back in the Sixties.

Yes we did carry hollowed out turnips (swedes), or 'tumshies,' carved into faces and with a stump of candle inside.

There's too many junkies and bad people around for the door to door stuff these days, apparently.
 
The Little Girls, Who Lived Upstairs From Us, Used To Sing T

Good King Billy had a ten fit willy
And he showed it to the woman next door!
She thought it was a snake,
So she hit it with a rake...

And noo it's only five fit four!


:rofl:
 
Having always been one of those people whom Tom Lehrer reviled for believing "that singing 50 verses of "On Top of Old Smoky" was twice as much fun as singing 25" (but AFAIK "Old Smoky" only had 3 verses), I know some long ones and can sing 'em all the way through. I'm not talking "100 bottles of Beer" either, but true ballads which, despite a certain amount of repetition, nevertheless got the story told.

Like this one:

Found a peanut, found a peanut,
Found a peanut just now.
I just now found a peanut
Found a peanut just now.
(Please note this pattern as I will save myself some typing by omitting repetition in the following stanzas.

Cracked it open...
It was rotten...
Ate it anyway...
Got sick...
Called the doctor...
Called the nurse... (normally it would be de rigeur to summon the lady with the alligator purse at this point, but she can't be made to scan and is lacking in this song)
Died anyway...
Went to heaven...
Didn't like 'em...
Kicked an angel...
Went the other way... (or Got a transfer)
Shoveling coal...
Woke up...
Had a dream...
Went for a walk...
Found a peanut...

Threw it away, threw it away,
Threw it away just now.
I just now threw it away,
Threw it away just now.
 
From back in my childhood when we had to dodge dinosaurs on the way to school...

"Whistle while you work;
Hitler is a jerk;
Mussolini fried his weenie,
Now it doesn't work..."

Now, having shared that little gem with you, I could use some help clearing up something: When I was in school we played a game in which someone had to yell, "Ollie Ollie oxen free!", at which point we did something in the game dynamic. I later heard the chant came from "All ye; all ye something something are free."

Does anyone know where this chant came from? Is there some History in it?
 
Ollie ollie oxen free is what you yell when you give up looking in hide-n-seek and everyone runs for the base. If you someone before she touches the base, she's It.

The phrase may, or may not, derive from "All the, all the outs in free!"
 
ollie ollie oxen free

Thanks, Peni. That does make sense, although I was hoping for something a bit more historic. Or political. Or politically historic.
 
My Grandad taught me this one when I was a child.

I went to the pictures tommorrow,
I bought a front seat at the back.
A lady, she gave some chocolate,
I ate it and gave it her back.
I went round a short cutted corner,
I saw a dead doggy alive.
I got out my dagger and shot it,
And that's how the poor doggy died.


He also used to come out with this; (not exactly a rhyme but worth putting here)


The other day, I bought a dog for nothing. I took it home to my friends house and chained it up with a piece of string. And when I awoke the day before, there it was, GONE!


As you may be able to tell, my grandad was a bit surreal, but this was his favourite song, especially when he'd had a drink;


There was a man who had two sons, and these two sons were brothers.
John Adolphous was the name of one, Adolphus John the other.
Now these two sons, they had a horse, and oh it was so thin,
They took it to the riverside, and pushed the blighter in.
Now these two sons, are dead and gone, we know you wish them well.
John Adolphous went to Heaven above, the other went...


as well.


He also used to say the strangest things when somebody was talking about something that he knew nothing about, like;
"Oh yes, we used to have one of them, but one of the wheels fell off, so we put rockers on it, but it died next day"

;)
 
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