My Grandad taught me this one when I was a child.
I went to the pictures tommorrow,
I bought a front seat at the back.
A lady, she gave some chocolate,
I ate it and gave it her back.
I went round a short cutted corner,
I saw a dead doggy alive.
I got out my dagger and shot it,
And that's how the poor doggy died.
He also used to come out with this; (not exactly a rhyme but worth putting here)
The other day, I bought a dog for nothing. I took it home to my friends house and chained it up with a piece of string. And when I awoke the day before, there it was, GONE!
As you may be able to tell, my grandad was a bit surreal, but this was his favourite song, especially when he'd had a drink;
There was a man who had two sons, and these two sons were brothers.
John Adolphous was the name of one, Adolphus John the other.
Now these two sons, they had a horse, and oh it was so thin,
They took it to the riverside, and pushed the blighter in.
Now these two sons, are dead and gone, we know you wish them well.
John Adolphous went to Heaven above, the other went...
as well.
He also used to say the strangest things when somebody was talking about something that he knew nothing about, like;
"Oh yes, we used to have one of them, but one of the wheels fell off, so we put rockers on it, but it died next day"