I was in Dunelm looking for a plain tablecloth for my computer desk, I only needed something 3ft x 4ft but the cloths were huge, suitable for Banqueting tables. I found nice smaller ones but they were plastic, whilst the cloth ones had horrible patterns. When I thought I'd found a nice small tablecloth, the size suddenly changed from cms to inches (or vice versa). I was getting in a tizz, my brother couldn't help as he'd left his glasses in the car, but fortunately a white-haired biddy standing nearby took pity on me. " 60 inches is 5 feet", she said, "I'm 5 feet if that helps?" . I stared at her and then at the shelves of cloth and then at her again and then into middle space. "Hmm - yes, I'm just trying to imagine you spread over my table."
Tap on the forearm - "Don't go there."
