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Spam: Who Writes It?

Forget "Spam - who writes it?", the topic should be "Spam - who eats it?"
 
This man, obviously. He might be the only one.

Chris-STephens-596561.jpg
 
Tsk .. internet phone scammers huh? .... NSFW ... swear words involved. :rofl:

 
:spamnote::clap::glee:
 
One posted on here in the small hours - we normally kill and forget, but this one sang..so I saved the text and then killed it.
The surgery things likethat and I was really under anesthesia for an hour switch you know albeit oral surgeons I've conversed with a short time later said Brainplus IQ the surgery ought to never gone past three and a half hours saw this fellow United great and 2016 screws and a few plates and that was an a yatch clearly a huge stressor to my body a tremendous comma and you know turning out the I probably have Lyme sickness..
It was a yatch. Who knew?
 
Wish I had a yatch.
 
I always though spam looked a bit like what an infinite number of monkeys might come up with about a thousand years before cracking Hamlet - or a week before coming up with an episode of Silent Witness.

Frapulous organsims live in jam jar by Berliners garage fascilitate. The vauxhall oxygen tent is in the Ecuador but absolution BUY is not in vitro MY banana baningi clusterbomb SNAKE wobble wobble OIL smoked kippers.
 
I always though spam looked a bit like what an infinite number of monkeys might come up with about a thousand years before cracking Hamlet - or a week before coming up with an episode of Silent Witness.

Frapulous organsims live in jam jar by Berliners garage fascilitate. The vauxhall oxygen tent is in the Ecuador but absolution BUY is not in vitro MY banana baningi clusterbomb SNAKE wobble wobble OIL smoked kippers.

You mean Silent Witness isn't written by monkeys? Watched by, certainly...
 
I had a revelation crossing the road this afternoon. MY GOD...it's so obvious.

When was their last album '96..'97? Elizabeth Fraser - I know what you've been doing since then. Stop it. Stop it now... Walk towards the light.


(Yes, okay; a thinly veiled ploy to introduce some beauty into the ugly world of internet tomfoolery. But if that song doesn't make your heart leap just a little bit, then you probably haven't got one. And, you know, maybe it's not so outlandish, standish, spangle-apple-turned leap my fingers on a Monday weeping, when all's said and done in a shimmer.)
 
Actual words don't matter. Her voice is like a little ray of sunshine. :glee:
 
OR Tom Ward, if your tastes run that way...

Not mine, of course...
 
The titles of the emails in my spam folder since I last cleaned it out read rather poetically, I thought:

SPAM!
Need cash for your personal expenses?
Order your High Performance Tactical Flashlight now!
Frustrated by thinning hair or hair loss?
Discover the beauty of spring with your own two eyes

25 of the funniest pics you'll see today
28 beautiful girls showing their fit bodies
Financing programmes make walk-in bathtubs affordable
31 amazing girls in tight clothes

Want a 7-in-1 saw that cuts through any material?
Give us four months to regrow your hair
Get the lantern that's twice as bright
These 24 pics prove that not all animals love girls

Get paid for your opinions!
Here are 29 beauties who love their guns
A better way to inflate everything
Astonishing hair regrowth results!
 
Absolutely nobody has spam emailed me for ages to offer me a penis extension ... perhaps they've all moved on to vagina tightening tablets nowadays ?
 
I had a revelation crossing the road this afternoon. MY GOD...it's so obvious.

When was their last album '96..'97? Elizabeth Fraser - I know what you've been doing since then. Stop it. Stop it now... Walk towards the light.


(Yes, okay; a thinly veiled ploy to introduce some beauty into the ugly world of internet tomfoolery. But if that song doesn't make your heart leap just a little bit, then you probably haven't got one. And, you know, maybe it's not so outlandish, standish, spangle-apple-turned leap my fingers on a Monday weeping, when all's said and done in a shimmer.)
I saw her live once with the band and they were fantastic .. the club stood frozen in awe, the bar staff closed the bar and stood on the tables to watch, the bouncers came in just to listen to Liz warble .. this was the Cocteau Twins Heaven or Las Vegas tour when Robin had a big cocaine problem, she sang her cover version of frosty the snowman that night to remind him she was pissed off about that, they later split up .. I pinched a poster from the wall when we left and then loads of other people did the same thing ..

Before that, this 12" blew my mind .... I had glow in the dark star stickers on my bedroom ceiling in the 80's so we'd switch the light out (after necking some shrooms) and play Pearly Dew Drop Drops amongst other tunes :)

 
The titles of the emails in my spam folder since I last cleaned it out read rather poetically, I thought:

SPAM!
Need cash for your personal expenses?
Order your High Performance Tactical Flashlight now!
Frustrated by thinning hair or hair loss?
Discover the beauty of spring with your own two eyes

25 of the funniest pics you'll see today
28 beautiful girls showing their fit bodies
Financing programmes make walk-in bathtubs affordable
31 amazing girls in tight clothes

Want a 7-in-1 saw that cuts through any material?
Give us four months to regrow your hair
Get the lantern that's twice as bright
These 24 pics prove that not all animals love girls

Get paid for your opinions!
Here are 29 beauties who love their guns
A better way to inflate everything
Astonishing hair regrowth results!

I'm beginning to feel left out. I never get spam, never get targeted advertising....well, maybe on that banner in Gmail, but that's all, and it's usually in response to what the other person wrote. Am beginning to wonder if my tastes are so peculiar that no one bothers trying to sell me anything!
 
ITS_THE_EMAILS_WRITTEN_LIKE_THIS

No real email was ever written like that. How stupid do they think we are?
 
ITS_THE_EMAILS_WRITTEN_LIKE_THIS

No real email was ever written like that. How stupid do they think we are?

HEY GUYS_THIS IS GENUINE_I EARN 6500 BUCKS A WEEK SIMPLY BY NAILING JELL-O TO PEOPLE'S CEILINGS. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT I JUST STARTED A SERVICE WHERE PEOPLE CAN ASK TO HAVE JELL-O NAILED TO THEIR CEILING AND I JUST HAVE TO TURN UP AND DO IT. I DO ACTUALLY STATE THERE'S NO GUARANTEE THE JELL-O WILL ACTUALLY STAY ON THE CEILING BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO PUT THEM OFF. IT'S NUTS!!

I'M OFFERING A SIMILAR SERVICE NOW IN THE UK. BUT THIS TIME WITH JELLY.
YOU'LL GET A JELLY NAILED TO YOUR CEILING FOR JUST £1000!!!!!
 
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I'm beginning to feel left out. I never get spam, never get targeted advertising....well, maybe on that banner in Gmail, but that's all, and it's usually in response to what the other person wrote. Am beginning to wonder if my tastes are so peculiar that no one bothers trying to sell me anything!

I can sell you some instructions on nailing Jell-O to the ceiling if you like.
 
HEY GUYS_THIS IS GENUINE_I EARN 6500 BUCKS A WEEK SIMPLY BY NAILING JELL-O TO PEOPLE'S CEILINGS. I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY BUT I JUST STARTED A SERVICE WHERE PEOPLE CAN ASK TO HAVE JELL-O NAILED TO THEIR CEILING AND I JUST HAVE TO TURN UP AND DO IT. I DO ACTUALLY STATE THERE'S NO GUARANTEE THE JELL-O WILL ACTUALLY STAY ON THE CEILING BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM TO PUT THEM OFF. IT'S NUTS!!

I'M OFFERING A SIMILAR SERVICE NOW IN THE UK. BUT THIS TIME WITH JELLY.
YOU'LL GET A JELLY NAILED TO YOUR CEILING FOR JUST £1000!!!!!
:) .. Ace, I'll have a bit of that!
*puts £1000 into disk drive and quickly emails it to Jim*
 
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