Sperm (General; Miscellaneous)

[Anonymous]

ive just reasd that sperm travel at about 3mm an hour!... all the films ive seen show them fair motering along like tadpoles! Ive been conned all the films are speeded up (a lot!).. any one know what magnification u need to see them?..would one of them digital microscopes u atach to the computer do it?....

 

[Anonymous]

According to this page , the average speed of human sperm is 12.5 cm per hour. But it doesn't say if that's inside or outside, if you know what I mean.
The average speed of bull sperm is 6mm per minute. Thought you might like to know that.

 

[Anonymous]

If i were you mate, id stop worrying about it and go to the sperm bank they will do tests on you, im sure its nothing.

Oh that right, its your mate with the slow sperm lol

 

[Anonymous]

not the pont im not at all bothered about the speed of my sperm!... its just that all the films ive seen are of sperm bombing about like mad.. seems the film must have been speeded up giveing a dishonest picture... as for looking at the sperm is was just curoiose. Be more interesting than the useual Bees leg slides etc..So what magification is required i asked a nurse and he hadnt a clue..

 

[oll_lewis]

In order to see the sperm they have to magnify it a lot so where as on screen it looks like the sperm has traveled a large distance in realit it has traveled a realy small microscopic distance.

 

[oll_lewis]

it's either x50 or x500 can't remember which as it was the first year of my biology degree we looked at cells. didn't look at jazz though that wouldn't pass the university's health and safety cos it can carry a surprisingly large amount of bateria (and not just STDs) also the little spermatzoa would die after 24 hours if not fast frozen than stored like they do in the sperm banks which is too expesive a process to waste on firt year students anyway.

 

[Anonymous]

In order to see the sperm they have to magnify it a lot so where as on screen it looks like the sperm has traveled a large distance in realit it has traveled a realy small microscopic distance.

ah ha very good point!

 

[Anonymous]

it's either x50 or x500 can't remember which as it was the first year of my biology degree we looked at cells. didn't look at jazz though that wouldn't pass the university's health and safety cos it can carry a surprisingly large amount of bateria (and not just STDs) also the little spermatzoa would die after 24 hours if not fast frozen than stored like they do in the sperm banks which is too expesive a process to waste on firt year students anyway.

cheers my gues is its 500x...and as to uni suplies ..just think of the pre class activity!

 

[river_styx]

So if a sperm was the size of a human and using the rough speed estimates given here how fast would it be shifting?

 

[Anonymous]

12cm an hours times 500..(i may be being simplistic here tho!)..which i make 6000cm an hour.. or 60 meters per hour... not so fast realy..

 

[Anonymous]

As Annasdottir has pointed out, a sperm's real or relative speed depends largely on whether it finds itself inside or outside of the body!

Rynner's recollections of a Smith & Jones sketch...

I'm reminded of the Smith and Jones sketch ( a talking heads one) where S. has been describing how he became a donor at a sperm bank, and J. asks "Did the nurse give you a hand, like?"

...prompted recollection of an old joke about a boy who imparts his new-found ambition to his father: "When I grow up, Dad, I want to be shot into space." Father's reply: "I've news for you, son: you very nearly were!"

...and Woody Allen's 'All you wanted to know about sex but were too afraid to ask' - in which, if memory serves, the sperm characters find themselves in a place of which they could not have conceived.

 

[Anonymous]

Originally posted by Peewee
how fast do those babys go at the point of ejaculation? must be 100 miles per hour!

I've wondered myself, but I think it's quicker with premature evacuation. It must top 100 mph, because sometimes you don't even have a chance to give the old warning tap on the shoulder. I mean, when do you start the stopwatch? When they "leave the gate," so to speak? I wonder if you could have sperm races under the microsope, like place bets on which one crosses the slide first?

 

[river_styx]

considering those babys are microscopic that makes them almost as fast as little ferraris. Quite impressive isnt it! More impressive than anything a girl has in her genitals.

That is of course until......NO NO I REFUSE TO SAY IT.......NO.....YOU CAN'T MAKE ME.....

 

[JamesWhitehead]

Thank heavens! I thought you were going to mention Jump Jet Fanny, the
girl with the Vertical Take Off engine in her front bottom!

But thankfully you withdrew it at the last moment.

 

[_schnor]

I've just sprayed tea all over my monitor thanks to you JW

 

[Anonymous]

Your a filthy man JW, thats your funniest post to date.

 

[river_styx]

I bet she knows the meaning of thrust though...

 

[oll_lewis]

how fast do those babys go at the point of ejaculation? must be 100 miles per hour!

nahh, the little sea monkeys are still traveling at the same speed it's just the filthy yogert they travel in thats moveing fast. just think about a person runnig along the aile of a moving train, he not traveling faster than the train.

 

[rynner2]

just think about a person runnig along the aile of a moving train, he not traveling faster than the train.

He is, relative to the track!

pedantic - rynner

 

[Bullseye]

Reminds me when I had to give a "sample" at hospital once, nurse told me to go into a room and produce, I asked if it was ok for someone to "help" (meaning my wife, we take oportunity for fun anywhere), nurse thought I meant her, but I did'nt realise for a few seconds she then walked away, I could have died of embaressment when I did realise!!!!.:madeyes:

 

[Anome]

considering those babys are microscopic that makes them almost as fast as little ferraris. Quite impressive isnt it! More impressive than anything a girl has in her genitals.

You speak for yourself, mate. You might find it more impressive (not that there's anything wrong with that), but I'm much more interested in the female plumbing myself.

(Excuse me, I'll just take this mack off.)

originally posted by rynner
He is, relative to the track!

But he's not going that fast under his own power, he's got the full force of a mighty locomotive behind him, pushing him up to that speed.
Err, well, you know what I mean.

(I could have sworn I took it off, but I still seem to be wearing it. This time for sure!)

 

[escargot]

The idea of the female component of conception, the egg, sitting passively waiting to be penetrated by the fastest, strongest, most virile sperm is seen as rather out of date now.

For a start, sperm certainly don't travel as fast as they appear to, and the egg plays an active part by releasing chemicals and moving external parts (invisible on school biology films) to guide and waft the sperms nearer.

And I can categorically state that sperms do NOT wear skin-tight white suits and shout 'Come on, lads!' as in comedy films and TV ads.

 

[river_styx]

And I can categorically state that sperms do NOT wear skin-tight white suits and shout 'Come on, lads!' as in comedy films and TV ads.

Mine fire smoke from their tails like the Red Arrows....Sometimes they even make shapes..

 

[Anome]

Mine fire smoke from their tails like the Red Arrows....Sometimes they even make shapes..

That's got to make your eyes water!
(Do they make the shapes, you know before, or, err, after?)

 

[chris_in_LA]

considering those babys are microscopic that makes them almost as fast as little ferraris. Quite impressive isnt it! More impressive than anything a girl has in her genitals.

Huh? Yes, a bunch of fast little Ferraris, but that's nothing compared to the entire Fiat plant, totally self-contained, able to produce more plants in nine months' time, multiple times!

 

[river_styx]

That's got to make your eyes water!
(Do they make the shapes, you know before, or, err, after?)

I allow them their artistic freedom and spontanaity.

 

[Anonymous]

They can blind you if you're not careful.

 

[Anonymous]

They can blind you if you're not careful.

Really! How!
Oops! Whers me ketbord gome?

 

[river_styx]

I beleive if you get some in your eye it can be quite painful...

 

[Timble2]

I thought ‘surely teenage boys already do this' when I saw the the headline.

It really is weird reproduction week

The the Guardian:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,989301,00.html

Dried sperm could be stored at home

Ian Sample
Wednesday July 2, 2003
The Guardian

Sperm samples could be stored in the kitchen cupboard instead of at sperm banks thanks to a new preservation technique that preserves sperm by drying it.

Storing dried samples at room temperature, then reconstituting them with a drop of liquid does not seem to interfere with the sperm's ability to fertilise eggs, the meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology heard yesterday.

The sperm bodies and tails may be damaged but the DNA inside appears to be fine, said Daniel Imoedemhe, a Saudi Arabian fertility specialist. This suggests the technique would only be useful for use where the sperm is injected directly into an egg.

Dr Imoedemhe said the process allows "patients to take responsibility for storing their sperm at home".

The idea of keeping a packet in the kitchen cupboard is quite disturbing, it's bad enough accidently putting salt on your cornflakes....