The Alien Movies

GNC

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This will be at least as good as Prometheus! The trailer actually reminded me of Predators, the late on sequel to, er, Predator.
 

ramonmercado

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back into Space...

Guy Killed by Alien in 'Alien' Now Believes He's Seen Real Aliens
"I really don't care whether anyone thinks I'm delusional."

Yaphet Kotto believes in aliens. The statement would be easy enough to take in on its own if not for the fact that Kotto also believes he's seen an alien, held an alien, and generally accepts that he's been abducted by aliens.

"I've never talked to anyone about it man, this is the first time," Kotto tells me over the phone. "I've only told my wife, my rabbi, and a psychologist. This is the first time I'm talking about it."

Understand that I felt special and disillusioned by this whole conversation. My initial goal was simple. Speak with Kotto about his infamous death in Ridley Scott's 1979 masterpiece Alien for a story and submit. But buried at the bottom of my email exchange with his talent agent, Ryan Goldhar were the words, "he has also asked if you're open to discussing his UFO experiences in the Philippines." ...

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/...en-in-alien-now-believes-hes-seen-real-aliens
 

Mythopoeika

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You know - I thought ol' Yaphet had died years ago. He hasn't done much recently.
Maybe he's writing a book?
 

EnolaGaia

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You know - I thought ol' Yaphet had died years ago. He hasn't done much recently.
Maybe he's writing a book?
He's 77, so I imagine he's basically retired now.
 

GNC

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Kotto also believes he's a member of the British Royal Family, so the aliens thing doesn't surprise me. I'll bet he has a hot take on the WTC attacks too.
 

Andy X

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Right.


(geddit?)
 

Analogue Boy

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Just caught up with Covenant on DVD. This is the second time in a row that Ridley Scott has ripped me off. I thought Prometheus was lamentable but this was liittle better.

Warning...contains spoilers.....

Here’s how HR recruitment works in Scott’s universe. A corporation spends an absolute fortune on resources, research and a damn fine ship only to staff it with an incredibly stupid crew.

HR. So you’re applying for the job of Second in Command - what are your strengths?
Candidate. None really. In fact I’ll probably buckle at the first sign of pressure.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.......

HR. Well you look sassy and good enough to eat.
Candidate. Thank you.
HR. Here’s a hypothetical scenario. You’re on a strange planet and you’ve just been attacked by an alien lifeform. You’re led through a compound of corpses by a sinister stranger. What’s the first thing you do?
Candidate. I wander off on my own and go and freshen up.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.......

HR. We’re recruiting for more bodies to fill out our crew. What can you offer?
Candidate. Well, I am experienced in interplanetary travel.
HR. Hmmm. We’ve had some of these before. Would you believe that some of them took their helmets off on a strange planet without even checking apart from breathing it in?
Candidate. Hey, I don’t even need a helmet. That’s a cost saving to you.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.........

HR. So you two are married?
Candidates. Yes, happily.
HR. Do you think your relationship could in any way harm the mission if things go tricky?
Candidates. Well, I think we’d both lose our shit pretty much instantly.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.......

HR. So, you’re the Replicant applying for the job of making sure nothing goes wrong.
Replicant. Yes.
HR. Nice hair.
Replicant. Thank you. As a logical computerised overintelligent AI, I tend to dye it depending on what movie I’ve just seen.
HR. And what was the last movie you saw?
Replicant. Assassin’s Creed.
HR. You look just like him. Everyone in that movie has long hair.
Replicant. I can grow it out.
HR. Really? Ok...Here’s a hypothetical question. You’re in a terrible accident and you’re just a head. What do you do?
Replicant. No problem. I’ll get better. But probably a bit more evil.
HR. Let me check my records...... Ok. You’re hired.

HR. We’re still filling out the staff roster and it seems we need someone with staying power.
Candidate. That’s me.
HR. Any hobbies?
Candidate. I like nails. Like the ones that crucified Jesus.
HR. Ok. You’re hired.
Candidate. Is there a pension plan?
HR. No. Not really.
 

GNC

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I think you're forgetting something. The Alien movies were born out of the era of the slasher movie, where the entire raison d'etre is to see the characters killed off, if they all stuck together and never went anywhere dangerous it would be a dull movie. Another thing is Alien Covenant has a sick sense of humour: humanity is the butt of a cosmic joke. The whole thing reminded me of a 1970s sci-fi paperback cover brought to life. It wasn't the greatest, but I had fun with it.
 

Bigphoot2

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Just caught up with Covenant on DVD. This is the second time in a row that Ridley Scott has ripped me off. I thought Prometheus was lamentable but this was liittle better.

Warning...contains spoilers.....

Here’s how HR recruitment works in Scott’s universe. A corporation spends an absolute fortune on resources, research and a damn fine ship only to staff it with an incredibly stupid crew.

HR. So you’re applying for the job of Second in Command - what are your strengths?
Candidate. None really. In fact I’ll probably buckle at the first sign of pressure.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.......

HR. Well you look sassy and good enough to eat.
Candidate. Thank you.
HR. Here’s a hypothetical scenario. You’re on a strange planet and you’ve just been attacked by an alien lifeform. You’re led through a compound of corpses by a sinister stranger. What’s the first thing you do?
Candidate. I wander off on my own and go and freshen up.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.......

HR. We’re recruiting for more bodies to fill out our crew. What can you offer?
Candidate. Well, I am experienced in interplanetary travel.
HR. Hmmm. We’ve had some of these before. Would you believe that some of them took their helmets off on a strange planet without even checking apart from breathing it in?
Candidate. Hey, I don’t even need a helmet. That’s a cost saving to you.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.........

HR. So you two are married?
Candidates. Yes, happily.
HR. Do you think your relationship could in any way harm the mission if things go tricky?
Candidates. Well, I think we’d both lose our shit pretty much instantly.
HR. Congratulations. You’re hired.

.......

HR. So, you’re the Replicant applying for the job of making sure nothing goes wrong.
Replicant. Yes.
HR. Nice hair.
Replicant. Thank you. As a logical computerised overintelligent AI, I tend to dye it depending on what movie I’ve just seen.
HR. And what was the last movie you saw?
Replicant. Assassin’s Creed.
HR. You look just like him. Everyone in that movie has long hair.
Replicant. I can grow it out.
HR. Really? Ok...Here’s a hypothetical question. You’re in a terrible accident and you’re just a head. What do you do?
Replicant. No problem. I’ll get better. But probably a bit more evil.
HR. Let me check my records...... Ok. You’re hired.

HR. We’re still filling out the staff roster and it seems we need someone with staying power.
Candidate. That’s me.
HR. Any hobbies?
Candidate. I like nails. Like the ones that crucified Jesus.
HR. Ok. You’re hired.
Candidate. Is there a pension plan?
HR. No. Not really.
HR. You are going to captain a ship to an unexplored planet. Do you
a) Send probes in advance to do a full survey and find a suitable landing site?
b) Just enter the atmosphere and fly around hoping you can find somewhere to land (which just happens to be beside an alien structure) before you run out of fuel?
 

Anonymous-50446

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HR. You are going to captain a ship to an unexplored planet. Do you
a) Send probes in advance to do a full survey and find a suitable landing site?
b) Just enter the atmosphere and fly around hoping you can find somewhere to land (which just happens to be beside an alien structure) before you run out of fuel?
Answers:

(a) Audience falls asleep
(b) Audience is engaged.

Just sayin'
 

Bigphoot2

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Answers:

(a) Audience falls asleep
(b) Audience is engaged.

Just sayin'
or audience says "this is bloody stupid, all that technology and they can't work out where to land before they get there!" :)
 

Anonymous-50446

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or audience says "this is bloody stupid, all that technology and they can't work out where to land before they get there!" :)
Yeah maybe. But it would be a slow old film if it was filmed in that way. "Yep let's send the drones out, cup of tea anyone?" Three days later...plus it's fiction...:alien:

I liked Prometheus. It's easy to poke fun at it, but it's engaging and looks good. Sure the cast do some dumb stuff, but honestly, people do dumb stuff. That's why we don't allow people to operate heavy machinery without checks and balances, dead mans handles and so on. Let's face it most people don't even drive in a rational fashion. I have no trouble believing a bunch of twats in the 23rd century would be as dumb as people are today. Not that I'd travel with such, I'd only lock the door and wish them luck with the alien nasty they found all by themselves. :D
 

hunck

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The first is a classic of it's time & the second's pretty good too. After that it's just milking it for maximum dollar. Is there one franchise series that's still any good? Mission Impossible 14 anyone? Once they've done 2 they're generally burned out, then get more & more preposterous.
 

GNC

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Fast & Furious 5 was the best of the lot.
 

hunck

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Fast & Furious 5 was the best of the lot.
I take your word on this. I've not seen any of the Fast & Furious films, or even heard of them.
 

GNC

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I take your word on this. I've not seen any of the Fast & Furious films, or even heard of them.
Well, have you got a treat in store if you like hunky homosexual men driving very quickly!
 

maximus otter

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Alien: Superb. A mix of psychological chiller and it's behind you!

Aliens: Also superb. Hard SF at its best. "That can't be; that's in the room!"

Alien³: Meh but watchable.

Alien Resurrection: An uptick after ³ with some memorable moments.

Prometheus:

1. (Before watching): Ridley's back at the controls of the franchise, I can barely control my sphincters!

2. (After watching): WTF? What was that turgid, wordy, uninvolving pish all about? Was the CGI done by an autistic 8-year old on an Etch-a-Sketch? I want those 124 minutes back!

Alien: Covenant: I'm waiting until it's on Sky+ free of charge...

maximus otter
 

Bigphoot2

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Yeah maybe. But it would be a slow old film if it was filmed in that way. "Yep let's send the drones out, cup of tea anyone?" Three days later...plus it's fiction...:alien:

I liked Prometheus. It's easy to poke fun at it, but it's engaging and looks good. Sure the cast do some dumb stuff, but honestly, people do dumb stuff. That's why we don't allow people to operate heavy machinery without checks and balances, dead mans handles and so on. Let's face it most people don't even drive in a rational fashion. I have no trouble believing a bunch of twats in the 23rd century would be as dumb as people are today. Not that I'd travel with such, I'd only lock the door and wish them luck with the alien nasty they found all by themselves. :D
I'd just find it a bit more dramatic and realistic if a well organised expedition, full of people who are highly trained and confident in their abilities suddenly come up against something totally beyond their abilities rather than a bunch of numpties who just blunder about, sticking their faces into very dodgy looking eggs etc.
 

henry

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its poor writing when characters constantly do dumb shit just to get them into some filmic configuration with a monster ... didnt happen in the first film, rather the characters were allowed to make entirely believable human mistakes and then get eaten ...
 

Anonymous-50446

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I'd just find it a bit more dramatic and realistic if a well organised expedition, full of people who are highly trained and confident in their abilities suddenly come up against something totally beyond their abilities rather than a bunch of numpties who just blunder about, sticking their faces into very dodgy looking eggs etc.
Yeah, but is it? People aren't suddenly going to become rational and sensible in the next three hundred years any more than they have in the last 1000. I've no doubt that once space flight becomes commonplace, exactly the wrong sort of people will get involved in projects that they see as high prestige, in which they wildly overestimate their own faculties in all respects, just like they do now.
:nods:

It will absolutely happen, in the same way the same type of morons blew up the Challenger and left the bulkhead doors open in the Titanic, that people will start saying things like "Jeez, do we have to use the airlock like that, can't we just keep both doors open, it's not like anything bad happened last time we did it..."
:cool2:
 

hunck

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Well, have you got a treat in store if you like hunky homosexual men driving very quickly!
Thanks for your summation...I can put them on my 'avoid' list.
 

Mythopoeika

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Well, have you got a treat in store if you like hunky homosexual men driving very quickly!
Where were the homosexuals?
 
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