- Joined
- Aug 3, 2001
- Messages
- 826
Darwin 2001
THis just popped into one of my numerous mail boxes. I make noclaims on the veracity of the below:-
It's that time again! The Darwin Awards are given each year to bestow upon
(the remains of) the individuals who, through single-minded self-sacrifice,
have done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
5th Runner-Up
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man, who died when he hit a lift tower at
the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad.
The 22-year-old, David Hubal, was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3:00 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley
and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike
Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to
slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been
investigated and determined that the tower he hit was the one with its pad
removed.
4th Runner-Up
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, who was apparently being disorderly in a St.
Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a
hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying. Police
found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the
six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.
3rd Runner-Up
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him
on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
2nd Runner-Up - "Man Loses Face At Party"
A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a
man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup
truck), popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a
party late Tuesday night, said Capt. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an
aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go
off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off."
He put it into his mouth, bit down, and it blew all of his teeth out and
his lips and tongue off," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded
condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a
spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
1st Runner-Up
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the
skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon
from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during
an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably
now known as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon.
A friend tried to shoot a beer can off of his head, but the arrow entered
Robert's right eye. Doctors say that if the arrow had gone 1 millimeter to
the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have
died instantly. Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University
Hospital in Portland said that the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of
brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed
to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried
to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself.
Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that
afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
And, THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the
great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at
the George Washington Amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having 18 beers
between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot
fence and sneak into the show.
They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr.
Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and
then assist this friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky,
there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence.
Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His
fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch
that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm,
he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes
would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut
away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky
Crashed into some holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body
and now,
without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum.
To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided
to throw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed
through the fence, landing on his friend and killing him.
Police arrived to find the crushed pickup truck with its driver thrown 100
feet away and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.
Upon removing the truck, they found John under it, half-naked, scratches on
his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts
dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
THis just popped into one of my numerous mail boxes. I make noclaims on the veracity of the below:-
It's that time again! The Darwin Awards are given each year to bestow upon
(the remains of) the individuals who, through single-minded self-sacrifice,
have done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.
5th Runner-Up
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man, who died when he hit a lift tower at
the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad.
The 22-year-old, David Hubal, was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3:00 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
Department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley
and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt. Mike
Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to
protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to
slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been
investigated and determined that the tower he hit was the one with its pad
removed.
4th Runner-Up
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, who was apparently being disorderly in a St.
Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a
hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying. Police
found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the
six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.
3rd Runner-Up
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him
on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
2nd Runner-Up - "Man Loses Face At Party"
A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a
man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup
truck), popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an
explosion that blew off his lips, teeth and tongue.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a
party late Tuesday night, said Capt. M.D. Payne. "Another man had it in an
aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go
off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off."
He put it into his mouth, bit down, and it blew all of his teeth out and
his lips and tongue off," Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded
condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a
spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
1st Runner-Up
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the
skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon
from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during
an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably
now known as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon.
A friend tried to shoot a beer can off of his head, but the arrow entered
Robert's right eye. Doctors say that if the arrow had gone 1 millimeter to
the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have
died instantly. Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the University
Hospital in Portland said that the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of
brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed
to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried
to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself.
Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that
afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this."
And, THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the
great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at
the George Washington Amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having 18 beers
between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot
fence and sneak into the show.
They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr.
Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and
then assist this friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr. Pernicky,
there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence.
Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His
fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch
that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm,
he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes
would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut
away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky
Crashed into some holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body
and now,
without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum.
To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
Mr. Hawkins, on seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, decided
to throw him a rope and pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed
through the fence, landing on his friend and killing him.
Police arrived to find the crushed pickup truck with its driver thrown 100
feet away and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries.
Upon removing the truck, they found John under it, half-naked, scratches on
his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts
dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
