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The Everlasting Mystery Of Teaspoons

Endlessly Amazed said:
There is some Fortean paradox regarding the meat to bread ratio: no matter how much meat I buy, it still is consumed faster than the bread. I started out with a 1:1 meat to bread ratio decades ago, and slowly worked up to 4:1 meat to bread ratio. It still goes faster than the bread. The only sandwich meat which does not do this is liverwurst, leading me to the unescapable conclusion that liverwurst is Fortean in its intrinsic qualities. The rather plebian suggestions that I needed to buy different, more palatable bread are, of course, ridiculous.
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Typically, people put in 2 slices of meat in a sandwich. I do, anyway.
I guess this depends upon the thickness of each slice of meat too - the thinner it is, the more slices will be put into the sandwich.
So... buy thicker meat.
 
One of my remaining (and carefully watched) teaspoons has acquired a kind of 'score mark' on the back of its... err spoony bit.

I noticed it the other day when I was using it to eat cereal, it gives a most uncomfortable mouth feel.

There's only me here, I don't use spoons to lever things open or prop things. In fact, I solely use them for stirring, eating puddings and measuring coffee. So how does this spoon get a score mark on its back? Is it off living an exciting spoony life when my back is turned? Is there a spoon-equivalent of Fight Club?
 
Endlessly Amazed said:
There is some Fortean paradox regarding the meat to bread ratio: no matter how much meat I buy, it still is consumed faster than the bread. I started out with a 1:1 meat to bread ratio decades ago, and slowly worked up to 4:1 meat to bread ratio. It still goes faster than the bread. The only sandwich meat which does not do this is liverwurst, leading me to the inescapable conclusion that liverwurst is Fortean in its intrinsic qualities. The rather plebian suggestions that I needed to buy different, more palatable bread are, of course, ridiculous.
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Tesco used to do an own brand 800g loaf for 9p back in the 90s.

I always seemed to buy it because it was cheap.

So I sympathize.

Now I am older I only eat the decent stuff and as sliced ham is really cheap in the local farmer's markets, locally known as a rinok, I never run out of ham.

Perhaps the answer to your Fortean sliced meat quandry lies on the streets of Kyiv.
 
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XBergMann said:
Tesco used to do an own brand 800g loaf for 9p back in the 90s.

I always seemed to buy it because it was cheap.

So I sympathize.

Now I am older I only eat the decent stuff and as sliced ham is really cheap in the local farmer's markets, locally known as a rinok, I never run out of ham.

Perhaps the answer to your Fortean sliced meat quandary lies on the streets of Kyiv.
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Ham, Eastern Europe, ah memories….

In December 1993, I was in Moscow, at the tail end of the abortive coup, and heavy caliber gunfire was still in the city streets. I and my companion at the time packed an entire suitcase full of canned ham to take with us because we didn’t know what to expect. As it turns out, we didn’t need it, exactly, but it came in very handy for us to both eat and to trade for other things.

Now, I currently make my own bread and its tasty. However, with my husband in the house, we still run out of meat quickly (he easily eats 6 times as much meat as I do). I continue to revise my hypothesis as the situation evolves. Now I think it is some Fortean connection between meat, my husband, teaspoons, and my quantum physics washing machine.
 
Endlessly Amazed said:
Ham, Eastern Europe, ah memories….

In December 1993, I was in Moscow, at the tail end of the abortive coup, and heavy caliber gunfire was still in the city streets. I and my companion at the time packed an entire suitcase full of canned ham to take with us because we didn’t know what to expect. As it turns out, we didn’t need it, exactly, but it came in very handy for us to both eat and to trade for other things.

Now, I currently make my own bread and its tasty. However, with my husband in the house, we still run out of meat quickly (he easily eats 6 times as much meat as I do). I continue to revise my hypothesis as the situation evolves. Now I think it is some Fortean connection between meat, my husband, teaspoons, and my quantum physics washing machine.
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Not forgetting his socks!
 
catseye said:
One of my remaining (and carefully watched) teaspoons has acquired a kind of 'score mark' on the back of its... err spoony bit.

I noticed it the other day when I was using it to eat cereal, it gives a most uncomfortable mouth feel.

There's only me here, I don't use spoons to lever things open or prop things. In fact, I solely use them for stirring, eating puddings and measuring coffee. So how does this spoon get a score mark on its back? Is it off living an exciting spoony life when my back is turned? Is there a spoon-equivalent of Fight Club?
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It's been spooning with the other cutlery. One of the knives got a bit frisky.
 
Endlessly Amazed said:
I shall, of course, nominate you for a Nobel Prize. I just haven’t figured out what the best category will be. I will write in to the committee to propose adding another category: Godel Incompleteness. This ties in nicely with my personal research into the unified field theory of ontology.
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I feel this is much more IgNobel territory...
 
catseye said:
One of my remaining (and carefully watched) teaspoons has acquired a kind of 'score mark' on the back of its... err spoony bit.

I noticed it the other day when I was using it to eat cereal, it gives a most uncomfortable mouth feel.

There's only me here, I don't use spoons to lever things open or prop things. In fact, I solely use them for stirring, eating puddings and measuring coffee. So how does this spoon get a score mark on its back? Is it off living an exciting spoony life when my back is turned? Is there a spoon-equivalent of Fight Club?
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Has your cat started doing heroin?

888721ea42d44d8b77f960ecf8cb3fa4.jpg
i-hear-all-the-beautiful-colors.jpeg
 
Endlessly Amazed said:
There is some Fortean paradox regarding the meat to bread ratio: no matter how much meat I buy, it still is consumed faster than the bread. I started out with a 1:1 meat to bread ratio decades ago, and slowly worked up to 4:1 meat to bread ratio. It still goes faster than the bread. The only sandwich meat which does not do this is liverwurst, leading me to the inescapable conclusion that liverwurst is Fortean in its intrinsic qualities. The rather plebian suggestions that I needed to buy different, more palatable bread are, of course, ridiculous.
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You must go vegetarian then. Works every time!
 
Aurora Newman said:
Missing tea spoons found in largest Roman Archeological find this year
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1...-hoxne-hoard-suffolk-field-british-museum-spt
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It was years ago the hoard was found the above article was about a rethink on the dating of the treasure.

And what is more I knew the finder, Mr. Lawes!

And and and .... just as I was typing his name the word 'Lawes', 'Law' came up on the TV in a vintage 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?'!!

It's a sign, a sign I tell you!!!

What of I'm not sure ....

But probably not what I'm hoping ha! ha!

Sollywos x
 
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It's a sign that you can never trust a teaspoon, because lawless silver spoons and their ilk have been running off and misleading us for millennia now.
 
IbisNibs said:
It's a sign that you can never trust a teaspoon, because lawless silver spoons and their ilk have been running off and misleading us for millennia now.
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There was me thinking it was a sign that if I lawfully buried all my teaspoons in a farmers field and then entered 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?' (even though I'm crap at quizzes and can't stand Jeremey Clarkson) I'd win!!

Oh well another of my pleasant fantasies bites the dust.

Anyway as I'd have had to make do with the tips of the dessert spoons in the absence of the teaspoons, and as it's my dessert spoons that have been going AWOL*, it wasn't one of my best ideas.

*Haven't mentioned it previously as this thread concerns teaspoons and I do like to stay on topic {whistle} :)

Sollywos x
 
From 2005: Science weighs in on The Everlasting Mystery of Teaspoons and shows they have a half life:
"The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute"
"Objectives: To determine the overall rate of loss of workplace teaspoons and whether attrition and displacement are correlated with the relative value of the teaspoons or type of tearoom. . . .
Main outcome measures: Incidence of teaspoon loss per 100 teaspoon years and teaspoon half life."

https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7531/1498?CMP=EMCFTBEML853

(If anyone has posted this already, well, here it is again! If your memory is like mine, you won't remember the first time. :p)
 
Another spoon recovered today, this time from under a pumpkin patch near Buckingham. This nickel silver beauty disappeared from the cutlery drawer of Majorie Skipton from Stockport in 1949. Quote "I'd dried it and put it away next to the spoons my Albert bought me from Derry & Toms for our 5th Anniversary. Next morning it was gone."

Spoon_0708.jpg Pumpkin patch_0706.jpg
 
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