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The Friend Who Wasn't There

If anyone wants to see what a positive impact an old teacher can make, watch this video clip of Ian Wright (for those who may not know, a former Arsenal and England football player).
 
If anyone wants to see what a positive impact an old teacher can make, watch this video clip of Ian Wright (for those who may not know, a former Arsenal and England football player).


That really did make me snivel.
 
If anyone wants to see what a positive impact an old teacher can make, watch this video clip of Ian Wright (for those who may not know, a former Arsenal and England football player).
He's a really decent fella, Ian Wright. When one of his close friends, David Rocastle, died at a young age, he was on the radio in tears. And as a pundit, he wears his heart on his sleeve, he's still a supporter at heart. And a great role model for black men in the UK.
 
If we're still on about bullying v. inspirational teachers, and if I haven't yet mentioned this one, here I go again -

When Escet was doing his A Levels (in which he'd need good grades for university) his maths teacher was taken seriously ill and eventually died.
In the time leading up to the exams this teacher spent a lot of time at home on sick leave and eventually in hospital and was sternly warned by the doctors NOT to carry on working.

Of course he did carry on and I'd drop off Escet and some of his classmates at Sir's house and pick them up a while later. They'd all go home and carry on with the work they'd started with him.

When he ended up in hospital he'd encourage the lads to visit him. He appreciated the company and if they brought their books along they could have a general chat about, t'know, the weather, maths...

All the lads passed well and went on to university, sadly after the teacher died. Educating on your deathbed - THAT'S a good teacher.
 
Naturally all this talk of the Mandela Effect brings me to Cern again.
I'm glad that we have a good Fortean topic to get our teeth into. Even if a lot of the reports seem like fan fiction.



It's always good to mention CERN.
 
Good of you to sing the praises of an unsung soldier. Great report!

Thank you!

Here's another -

In my home town there was still the Grammar School/Secondary Modern split at 11. Two of us 5 kids went to the Grammar and the others to the Secondary Modern.

Being somewhat number-dyslexic and seriously dyspraxic I was often punished all through school for having poor handwriting and NOT EVEN TRYING in maths.

The handwriting thing was especially galling as I was good at the mechanics of English like composition, spelling and punctuation. I just couldn't write neatly to save my life, and I still can't.

One of my younger brothers had a teacher at the Secondary Modern whom I never met, don't even know his name, but I thought 'He's a genuius!'
This was after Little Bro told me that this teacher had said 'Some people just aren't made for neat handwriting.'

There was probably more to it, like a comment about making the effort or how interesting the content was, but I don't remember. I was impressed by a teacher who acknowledged that he'd accept a spider scrawl like mine if he trusted the writer.

I'd still bless that man's name if I knew it. I hope he lives on in blissful retirement surrounded by a large loving family and, I dunno, a nice little dog to take for a walk to the paper shop each morning.
 
Thank you!

Here's another -

In my home town there was still the Grammar School/Secondary Modern split at 11. Two of us 5 kids went to the Grammar and the others to the Secondary Modern.

Being somewhat number-dyslexic and seriously dyspraxic I was often punished all through school for having poor handwriting and NOT EVEN TRYING in maths.

The handwriting thing was especially galling as I was good at the mechanics of English like composition, spelling and punctuation. I just couldn't write neatly to save my life, and I still can't.

One of my younger brothers had a teacher at the Secondary Modern whom I never met, don't even know his name, but I thought 'He's a genuius!'
This was after Little Bro told me that this teacher had said 'Some people just aren't made for neat handwriting.'

There was probably more to it, like a comment about making the effort or how interesting the content was, but I don't remember. I was impressed by a teacher who acknowledged that he'd accept a spider scrawl like mine if he trusted the writer.

I'd still bless that man's name if I knew it. I hope he lives on in blissful retirement surrounded by a large loving family and, I dunno, a nice little dog to take for a walk to the paper shop each morning.
I never understood why pupils are expected to do something they dislike.
For eg. at my school there were 3 or 4 kids who NEVER did PE. They were told, 'what's wrong with you- it will do you good' etc. I never saw the point in trying to make them do it. They would have been better using the time doing what they wanted to do. So they didn't like sport, but they could have been maths geniuses or great artists or whatever. I had to do certain subjects for years that I had absolutely no interest in. I understand that the basics must be covered at primary school, but by a certain age it's a waste of resources (ie time & money) trying to make someone be interested in something they're not and never will be interested in.
 
Escargot I was a year younger than my classmates in grade 3.
I still remember being put over the teacher's knee and spanked for having untidy writing,
Years later when I was teaching she came to the school I was at ,as a relief teacher, still unmarried and looking frail.
I spoke to her generally but she just muttered and I wondered how she was still teaching as she would have been quite old .
 
I was often punished all through school for having poor handwriting
Impossible! I can read your stuff fine.

No but seriously, all girls' handwriting is better than the best boy's. It might be unreadable, but it's so damn expressive and classy.
Fuck. I have a handwriting fetish. I do. I never knew it.

yay
 
Impossible! I can read your stuff fine.

No but seriously, all girls' handwriting is better than the best boy's. It might be unreadable, but it's so damn expressive and classy.
Fuck. I have a handwriting fetish. I do. I never knew it.

yay

I've often been told my writing is the worst people have ever seen.

As a kid that was mortifying but these days I say 'How about my arse? Shall I get that out for you to judge too?'

Strangely, nobody takes me up on it.
 
so many people on here had unhappy times at school, I wonder if there is link between this early negative experience with authority and our need to question, assess and exam the experinces of others without rushing to judgement.

Sorry- that sounds pompous- went to a very intimidating girls Grammar school in the 70's
 
I never understood why pupils are expected to do something they dislike.

It's because we all have to do things in life we don't like. It's good to learn to deal with it as children. Character-forming.

Also, a child might not like something that's actually good for them. They shouldn't miss out.

Besides which, young children can't be making the rules. Adults are in charge.
 
It's because we all have to do things in life we don't like. It's good to learn to deal with it as children. Character-forming.

Also, a child might not like something that's actually good for them. They shouldn't miss out.

Besides which, young children can't be making the rules. Adults are in charge.
True to some extent, but the PE thing mentioned by Floyd (and similarly sports) I always thought was a total and utter waste of school time. Even at infant school (remember them?) I wanted to do class work instead of pointless arsing about stuff. And yes I got plenty of exercise out of school hours. I suppose in reality a large proportion of schooling is wasted on children.
 
I had four children who had to toe the line even when I could see they were being picked on by twatty teachers. I'd say 'Knuckle down and get on with it.'

It wasn't nice to see them, for example, being punished for just being in the room when something happened, but they had to learn what happens when people choose shitty friends.

If they'd stayed away from the deadbeat kids they wouldn't be drawn into things. Actions have consequences.
 
True to some extent, but the PE thing mentioned by Floyd (and similarly sports) I always thought was a total and utter waste of school time. Even at infant school (remember them?) I wanted to do class work instead of pointless arsing about stuff. And yes I got plenty of exercise out of school hours. I suppose in reality a large proportion of schooling is wasted on children.
I hated school sports too and would rather have read a book. But I had to do as I was told and didn't end up as a spoilt brat whose Mum refused to let her little darling be made to run around with the rough kids.

Moved schools at 10 and was able to do more acceptable outdoor activities like stilt-walking. That was brilliant!
 
I hated school sports too and would rather have read a book. But I had to do as I was told and didn't end up as a spoilt brat whose Mum refused to let her little darling be made to run around with the rough kids.

Moved schools at 10 and was able to do more acceptable outdoor activities like stilt-walking. That was brilliant!
Certainly in my day parents had no say whatsoever in what a child could or could not do in school. Possibly a touch more enlightened now, although some parents aren't perhaps the best judge of what is right for their little darlings.
 
Certainly in my day parents had no say whatsoever in what a child could or could not do in school. Possibly a touch more enlightened now, although some parents aren't perhaps the best judge of what is right for their little darlings.

What's right for all children is learning to live by the rules. It's natural and healthy for kids to question the rules and expect them to be reasonable, and to break them sometimes and take the consequences.

But parents who actively encourage their children to disregard school discipline aren't doing them any favours. When the children reach their teens and the real rebellion begins, the school won't be in a position to back the parents up.

I know this from several angles: as a parent/aunt, from living among my children's friends' families, as a school governor, as a trained Youth Justice Panel Member and as the former spouse of a high school teacher.

With each new intake the ex could spot within weeks which kids would be truanting, excluded and possibly in trouble with the law by 14/15.
I'd see them later when they came into the Youth Justice system.

They were the ones whose parents had told them it was OK to refuse to do homework or who sent them into school with brightly-coloured trainers or nose rings. These kids thought the point of school was to bait the teachers and see what they could get away with because that's what their parents taught them.

Rebelling for those poor kids would have been turning up on time every day neatly dressed and with their homework under their arm.

Some, incredibly, did manage this and went on to do well and leave with good grades despite their parents' efforts to sabotage their eduction. I was full of admiration. They're probably all admirals or CEOs now.

The ones who listened to their crummy parents (and of course it would be hard not to) always landed in trouble later.
Their parents would then be in school asking for help, which the staff would try to provide but knew was hopeless because their authority had been destroyed. The kid wouldn't listen to them.

So yeah, parents might tell their kids they don't need to do sports or geography if they don't want to. Five years later they might be wondering why the police are on the doorstep.
 
It's because we all have to do things in life we don't like. It's good to learn to deal with it as children. Character-forming.

Also, a child might not like something that's actually good for them. They shouldn't miss out.

Besides which, young children can't be making the rules. Adults are in charge.
I disagree there you young scamp.
I am not talking of primary school age, but 11-12 and upwards.

Using the example of games/PE that I mentioned, (although there are many others of course), one of the kids had a weight problem (and standing in a freezing field waiting for a ball to come to him, for one hour a week wouldn't have sorted that out) and the other one who was a good friend of mine, had terrible eczema all over his body. Combined with his indifference to sport anyway, it is no wonder he didn't want to get undressed in front of other kids. I wouldn't have done either. As it was, I loved sports at school (not now, only F1 interests me) and I certainly loved seeing Debbie Greaves in her gym kit, so it didn't effect me, but even I may have taken a different view had we had the teacher who, (thank God) left the year before I started; an ex para who made the kids do it without underwear and who would whip them with the metal wedges that hold the climbing frames up in the gym. Must have scarred a lot of kids mentally (and probably physically in some cases) and certainly would have made them ill the night before. Add in to the situation the kids who had been circumcised and the ones who were terribly shy about their bodies etc and it makes a living hell for some children- for years. (Not me- I used to love getting my 12'' out). But I would say it's the exact opposite of 'character forming' for some kids and all it did was make them want to get out of school more quickly.

You shouldn't force anyone, adults or children to do things they don't want to do just because you like something or think it's 'good for them'. I'm not talking of having to go and see your Auntie Mable who you hate, once a year for an hour or two- although again, it depends on the age of the child. Life is too short to do things you hate. We have to do enough of that as it is as adults.

You say that a child ''may miss out on something that's good for them'', but that's like saying that forcing a child to eat boiled vegetables (a popular 1970s habit), because you think 'it's good for them', is helping them, when all it does is make the child resentful. I pretty much live on veg/salad and fish now, but being forced to eat something until you feel sick is pretty pointless- in my view.
My Mother tried to force me to eat breakfast because people kept banging on how 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day-' (they also told us that apples are good for your teeth (untrue), caffeine gives you headaches (untrue) and you should only eat 3 eggs a day max because of cholesterol) (untrue)- but I can't eat within three or four hours after getting up. All it did was make me sick. So how was that a good thing for me?
 
What's right for all children is learning to live by the rules. It's natural and healthy for kids to question the rules and expect them to be reasonable, and to break them sometimes and take the consequences.

But parents who actively encourage their children to disregard school discipline aren't doing them any favours. When the children reach their teens and the real rebellion begins, the school won't be in a position to back the parents up.

I know this from several angles: as a parent/aunt, from living among my children's friends' families, as a school governor, as a trained Youth Justice Panel Member and as the former spouse of a high school teacher.

With each new intake the ex could spot within weeks which kids would be truanting, excluded and possibly in trouble with the law by 14/15.
I'd see them later when they came into the Youth Justice system.

They were the ones whose parents had told them it was OK to refuse to do homework or who sent them into school with brightly-coloured trainers or nose rings. These kids thought the point of school was to bait the teachers and see what they could get away with because that's what their parents taught them.

Rebelling for those poor kids would have been turning up on time every day neatly dressed and with their homework under their arm.

Some, incredibly, did manage this and went on to do well and leave with good grades despite their parents' efforts to sabotage their eduction. I was full of admiration. They're probably all admirals or CEOs now.

The ones who listened to their crummy parents (and of course it would be hard not to) always landed in trouble later.
Their parents would then be in school asking for help, which the staff would try to provide but knew was hopeless because their authority had been destroyed. The kid wouldn't listen to them.

So yeah, parents might tell their kids they don't need to do sports or geography if they don't want to. Five years later they might be wondering why the police are on the doorstep.
I agree with you here, but you're talking of a different situation. I wasn't on about children with deadbeat parents who let them get away with messing about and who had a disregard school discipline. You wouldn't have even been let into my school if you'd worn trainers/earrings etc. I'm speaking of well behaved children. And I don't think the police would have turned up later years just because they didn't like doing sports at school.
 
Yes, why?

Like I said, just wondering.

I would sympathise with my kids' various grouses about whichever subject they didn't like and then send them off with a reminder that they had to suck it up anyway.

After all, school was much better for them than it was for me. For a start we were spanked by teachers and the boys would be hit with canes or plimsolls. This didn't apply to my kids' generation. They were being treated like human beings and not livestock.

A school where teachers didn't scream abuse in my face and hit me would have seemed like Paradise to me. And I was a good kid! Just rather shortsighted and dyslexic/dyspraxic.
 
Like I said, just wondering.

I would sympathise with my kids' various grouses about whichever subject they didn't like and then send them off with a reminder that they had to suck it up anyway.

After all, school was much better for them than it was for me. For a start we were spanked by teachers and the boys would be hit with canes or plimsolls. This didn't apply to my kids' generation. They were being treated like human beings and not livestock.

A school where teachers didn't scream abuse in my face and hit me would have seemed like Paradise to me. And I was a good kid! Just rather shortsighted and dyslexic/dyspraxic.
Yes, being screamed at and hit doesn't seem to me a good way to encourage a child. It only makes them more resentful of school in may cases. And I'm speaking of the good kids like you, who just happened to not be very good at, say, handwriting (or sports), not the idiots.
 
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