The Handy Tips Thread

[escargot]

Maybe we could use a bobble hat to put a phone in, sure they could fit a pocket on there somewhere, or a sock or stocking phone

Ah now I know this one. As a teenager I read in the Reader's Digest about a Brit in Cairo who cleverly hid his money in a fez and wore it when out shopping at a busy market.

This must've attracted some crook's attention because he felt the fez suddenly lift off his head.

He looked all around but couldn't pick out the culprit as every man in sight was wearing one!

So no valuables in hats for me.

 

[Stormkhan]

It's a big hunk of roast beef. For reasons I never quite fathomed it became popular for buffet-style eateries to have an attendant slice off roast beef on demand and serve it to customers passing through the buffet line. I never figured out whether this became common practice to keep the meat juicy or just to make the presentation / service seem more up-scale.

Ah. Like our gourmet pubs carveries such as the Toby chain?
I assumed it was to ration out the meat, 'cause the customers would slice off more than strictly necessary. Wastage 'n' all.

 

[Analogue Boy]

Ah. Like our gourmet pubs carveries such as the Toby chain?
I assumed it was to ration out the meat, 'cause the customers would slice off more than strictly necessary. Wastage 'n' all.

It’s a carvery. Not a swallow it whole like a boa constrictory.

 

[Yithian]

Is this how they were designed?

Definitely will try next time I manage an injury.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1370333010503995396

 

[Naughty_Felid]

Is this how they were designed?

Definitely will try next time I manage an injury.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1370333010503995396

Bit difficult when you are bleeding everywhere surely?

 

[EnolaGaia]

Is this how they were designed? ...

No, but ... The trick of cutting the peripheral ends / flaps on either side of the gauze pad is something known from an earlier time (pre-1920s) when gauze and tape were applied separately. Cutting the tape into thinner strips helped attach the gauze around joints to help hold everything as intended as the joint flexed. Criss-crossing the thinner strips aided in adhering everything together during flexing. This criss-crossing was also a trick dating back to the time when the tape was a separate thing.

 

[Yithian]

Bit difficult when you are bleeding everywhere surely?

This is true.

I shall insist to the person whom I am spraying red all over that they find some nail scissors and do the job strictly to my instruction.

 

[Trevp666]

I will generally use whatever is at hand to cover a little cut.
So that means regular sellotape, electrical insulation tape, a little bit of duct tape, and i've even used those labels that peel off food cartons etc.
I tried using blu-tac once but it tends to stick to just about anything so was difficult to apply (but when you've got nothing else what can you do?)

 

[Bad Bungle]

You find some-one maternal to kiss it better.

 

[David Plankton]

Not a joke but real advice on the care label for a pair of boots.

"In order to prolong the life of your footwear, it's best not to wear them everyday. Have two or three pairs of shoes and alternate between them."

I guess the best advice would be to own seven pairs of shoes, one for each day of the week. They'll last forever.

 

[Naughty_Felid]

Not a joke but real advice on the care label for a pair of boots.

"In order to prolong the life of your footwear, it's best not to wear them everyday. Have two or three pairs of shoes and alternate between them."

I guess the best advice would be to own seven pairs of shoes, one for each day of the week. They'll last forever.

one pair a day every fortnight just to be sure.

 

[Trevp666]

Or double the life span of your footwear by hopping everywhere on your left foot for a week, then your right foot for a week, and repeat.

 

[maximus otter]

Did anyone else's mum, on presenting them with a new pair of shoes, admonish them by saying,"These were expensive, so don't wear them out. Take big steps!"

Just me?

maximus otter

 

[escargot]

Is this how they were designed?

Definitely will try next time I manage an injury.

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1370333010503995396

Not practical if you're alone. Plus, if the idea is to make the plaster fit better, you can just wear it until it gets loose then put a new one, taking the opportunity to inspect the wound.

(I have well thought-out strategies for this sort of thing, having been allowed only one plaster per wound as a kid.)

 

[Mythopoeika]

Did anyone else's mum, on presenting them with a new pair of shoes, admonish them by saying,"These were expensive, so don't wear them out. Take big steps!"

Just me?

maximus otter

Ditto here. I formed the impression that we were a poor family on our uppers.

 

[maximus otter]

Ditto here. I formed the impression that we were a poor family on our uppers.

Ba-doom, tish!

maximus otter

 

[Trevp666]

I can only find one partial clip of it on youtube, which has terrible audio, but there is an excellent 'shoe gag' in the Laurel and Hardy film "Way Out West".
(The whole film is excellent and well worth watching if you're unfamiliar with their work)
In the gag, L&H are in a saloon and Stan makes a whole minute and half of himself removing his shoe and finding a hole in the sole.
Then he puts his shoe back on, but unfortunately his big toe is sticking out through the hole, which causes him some pain when he tries to stand up.
Whilst this happens there is a chap a few paces away who complains that the meat in his sandwich is too tough ("this is like shoe-leather!"), and slams it back down on the bar in disgust.
Stan picks up the meat and places it inside his shoe to effect a repair, much to the bemusement of Ollie.

Later on there is a link to the 'meat in the shoe' when Stan starts getting bothered by a dog.

 

[Mythopoeika]

I can only find one partial clip of it on youtube, which has terrible audio, but there is an excellent 'shoe gag' in the Laurel and Hardy film "Way Out West".
(The whole film is excellent and well worth watching if you're unfamiliar with their work)
In the gag, L&H are in a saloon and Stan makes a whole minute and half of himself removing his shoe and finding a hole in the sole.
Then he puts his shoe back on, but unfortunately his big toe is sticking out through the hole, which causes him some pain when he tries to stand up.
Whilst this happens there is a chap a few paces away who complains that the meat in his sandwich is too tough ("this is like shoe-leather!"), and slams it back down on the bar in disgust.
Stan picks up the meat and places it inside his shoe to effect a repair, much to the bemusement of Ollie.

Later on there is a link to the 'meat in the shoe' when Stan starts getting bothered by a dog.

I remember an old film like that (Chaplin or Laurel & Hardy, I don't know) where the character boils up a leather shoe and eats it, because he has no food. IIRC, it was set during the Great Depression era.

 

[JamesWhitehead]

It is The Gold Rush by Chaplin, which predates the Depression by a few years!

 

[escargot]

Here's a topical tip.

When you receive a government voucher with a barcode, don't post it on Facebook because one of your 'friends' can save the photo and use the barcode for their shopping.

This has happened to a friend of mine.

Here is her latest, very angry Facebook post -

So, (her kid's) dad has just been to tesco for me to spend my £30 tesco vouchers I've had for months, to discover that some sly fu**er has screenshot the barcode from a post I wrote months ago about not being able to use them online, and used £15 of the £30 vouchers I had!

What an absolute prick u are, whoever u are!

Someone on my 'friends' list!!

As you can tell, she is furious.

Surely the perp could be tracked down via the barcode redemption details. Police probably wouldn't bother for £15 though.

 

[Stormkhan]

Lesson learned: don't post everything on FB. Why did she do it? That's like sharing a scan or jpg of your household bill or doctor's report.
Supplementary lesson: Not everyone you friend on FB is, actually, your friend. See above.
As far as the coppers "tracing" the user, the voucher is, I imagine, like a currency note: the value is in the barcode number, not associated with a particular user.

 

[escargot]

Lesson learned: don't post everything on FB. Why did she do it? That's like sharing a scan or jpg of your household bill or doctor's report.
Supplementary lesson: Not everyone you friend on FB is, actually, your friend. See above.

Yup, I saw the post at the time and wondered how important the barcode was, then immediately forgot about it or I'd have probably warned her.
I'm going for her own sister as the most likely suspect.