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The Long Man of Wilmington

kiel_d

Gone But Not Forgotten
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Feb 12, 2002
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From Ananova:-

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_579301.html?menu=news.quirkies

Twenty foot penis painted on ancient hill figure

An ancient hill figure carved into the South Downs has sprouted a 20-foot penis overnight in what experts say could be a bizarre May Day celebration.

The discovery has been made by the Long Man Morris Men who are visiting The Long Man of Wilmington to celebrate May Day.

The 231-foot high figure, located near Eastbourne, East Sussex, is causing giggles among tourists who were photographing him in all his new glory.

Sussex Archaeological Society, which owns the site, said the appendage could have been part of the ancient Beltaine Celtic Festival. Others observers, including a white witch, said it might have been part of a bizarre May Day fertility ritual.

The adult attachment has been painted on the grass and has not damaged the figure cut into the chalk hillside by Druid settlers and which attracts thousands of visitors each year.

Morris Man Norman Hopson said: "We first noticed it after our first dance this morning, but I promise it had nothing to do with us. I last visited it four weeks ago but nothing had been added."

Henry Warner, a director at the Archaeological Society, said: "This could have been a mindless act of vandalism or it could have been something to do with the Celtic Beltaine Festival. In the Celtic system the festival marks the start of the warm part of the year and was traditionally held at the beginning of May.

"Alternatively it could have been a fertility ritual. The figure may originally have had an appendage, like at Cerne Abbas, but the Victorians who did not approve of such things may have taken it off. But, whoever did this, we can never condone vandalism at the Long Man."

White witch Kevin Carlyon, head of the British Coven of White Witches, said: "I am up in arms over this because I have always said that the Long Man was a woman.

"I take chaps with problems to the Long Man at Wilmington and women to Cerne Abbas, but this makes a mockery of that. I am going to put a spell on whoever did this, but I would not be surprised if there were quite a few naughty romps at the Long Man tonight."

Story filed: 12:23 Wednesday 1st May 2002
 
They could at least have given it some lead in it's pencil.
 
Part of the ancient Beltane Celtic Festival?

A May Day fertility right?

Don't these people recognise a practical joke when they see one?

Personally, I think it was and alien crop circle gone wrong.
 
Have to say, I drive past it every day on my way to work and I didn't notice anything different!

It could still be a woman, though, Kev, I get emails every day offering to enlarge my penis. Maybe the Long Woman fancied being a little longer?
 
I remember seeing a picture of that carved guy with two sticks in his hand in a pair of y-fronts. I think he usually shows off an erect penis.
 
Not the one with two sticks, the Cerne Abbas giant has a pretty big chappie, but our Long Man has no dong. Hence Kev the Witch deciding it might be a girlie giant. FT did an article a few years back featuring a caricature of John Major in underpants which was scrawled into the hillside in protest against the widening of the A27.

Ellie.
 
That might have been it. I think I read it in FT back when my English wasn't all that good.
 
Blimey, you must have been reading for ages! I've only just got that one, it's around the 70s issue number wise. I'm trying to get hold of all the back issues prior to my subscription. Got most of them, just need the first 60 or so! Those compilations are dang hard to get hold of!
 
I don't know for how long. Probably 1996 or so. Since that one with a sailor getting chased by octopus on the front.

I do think it was in FT, but it could of course also be one of the other books on mysteries and wonders.
 
Well I think it can finally be revealed that all these dauntingly
phallic figures were carved as gay "small" ads.

Translated they all say the same thing. Monstrous erections here
on this hillside at Solstice. Gen.

And I bet none of the alleged giants turned up. :p
 
Xanatic said:
That might have been it. I think I read it in FT back when my English wasn't all that good.

Your English is extremely good now, Xanatic!

Turning to 'long men', don't couples who want children have a little nookie on the Cerne Abbas giant as he's supposed to render them fertile?

Carole
 
KittyRice said:
I get emails every day offering to enlarge my penis

Do you really? I've never heard of this. Is this a subscription thing on your part (no pun intended there), or is someone trying to tell you something?;)

As for Kevin Carlyon putting a curse on "whoever did this", good luck. Sounds a bit like the White House's intention to root out every would-be terrorist. Perhaps the two parties could get into dialogue?
 
Not sure about the penis extensions, I've been getting offers for a while along with the barely legal teens and J-Lo's muff.

Kev also put a protection spell on Nessie so it would never be caught and, luckily, lifted his curse on Harry Potter just before it was brought out.

I myself have put a protection spell on Hell so that no more Siberian drilling teams discover it's whereabouts.

Ellie.
 
I became pregnant the week that I visited the Uffington white horse and am due to have the baby in three weeks. (And no I did not do anything - em - disrespectful while I was there I just said a prayer)
 
Congratulations Zoe (and other half)! Keep us informed - we're a nosy lot and will no doubt have named the child for you and planned her/his entire life before you've even had chance to reflect that the strange new crying thing is your baby...

Jane.
 
Thank You. I will post when it happens - it hasn't happened yet.
 
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