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The Queen & Poo

In my teenage years the girls school across the road from mine had a visit from the Queen. A single person toilet was built outside the main block in case she needed to go and then dismantled after she left.
 
Haha, I seem to remember the story being that it was in fact dismantled unused.

I'll have to talk to some of my old chums and see if they remember the facts of this tale.
 
Mythopoeika said:
I've had a pee in one of the Queen's loos.
Well, actually, it wasn't owned by the Queen. I was on holiday with my folks when I was a teenager, and we visited this big old mansion that was open to the public (and here my memory fails me, because I don't remember which old mansion it was). They didn't have many visitors that day and their loo for public use was broken, so the lady of the manor very kindly allowed us to use the loo reserved for the Queen (for her very rare visits).
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You mentioned that 6 posts previously! I'll let you off, though, as there was a 10-year gap... thread-merging strikes again!
 
LOL! Yeah, I thought I'd mentioned it before.
Memory ain't what it used to be!
 
Bit of tangent-going-off re UK queens and poo: there's an anecdote about Queen Victoria which I've always liked. It seems that Vicky could at times be naive about practical things in life, which as monarch she was spared from dealing with. She was visiting Cambridge University one time, with the visit including a trip by punt along the river between the colleges, with an august small party of dons. Sewerage arrangements at that time and place, were decidedly basic; and toilet paper was "recycled" miscellaneous no-longer-needed pieces of paper -- pages from discarded books, etc. Numerous used pieces of such paper were swirling around in the river, alongside the punt. Victoria enquired, with random curiosity, what they were. One of the dons responded tactfully: "Your Majesty, they are notices to indicate 'do not bathe in this stretch of water' ".
 
amyasleigh said:
Bit of tangent-going-off re UK queens and poo: there's an anecdote about Queen Victoria which I've always liked. It seems that Vicky could at times be naive about practical things in life, which as monarch she was spared from dealing with. She was visiting Cambridge University one time, with the visit including a trip by punt along the river between the colleges, with an august small party of dons. Sewerage arrangements at that time and place, were decidedly basic; and toilet paper was "recycled" miscellaneous no-longer-needed pieces of paper -- pages from discarded books, etc. Numerous used pieces of such paper were swirling around in the river, alongside the punt. Victoria enquired, with random curiosity, what they were. One of the dons responded tactfully: "Your Majesty, they are notices to indicate 'do not bathe in this stretch of water' ".
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Going further off-topic, the USSR also had basic sewerage arrangements, to the extent that used toilet paper would be put in a basket rather than down the pan. The paper was not the equivalent of Andrex, either, but was, similarly, no-longer-needed pieces of paper. Credit to American spies, they put two and two together, and apparently gleaned, well, rich pickings, from the baskets in the lavs of strategic locations.
 
Krepostnoi said:
Going further off-topic, the USSR also had basic sewerage arrangements, to the extent that used toilet paper would be put in a basket rather than down the pan. The paper was not the equivalent of Andrex, either, but was, similarly, no-longer-needed pieces of paper. Credit to American spies, they put two and two together, and apparently gleaned, well, rich pickings, from the baskets in the lavs of strategic locations.
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Wow ! Suffering for one's country, or what? The above is a new one on me -- but I've heard a propos the Cold War, of sensitive documents being shredded, and the "shreddings" consigned to rubbish-disposal; and being retrieved by the other side's intelligence-type folks, and put together again and read. Seemingly, both Cold War parties did both aspects of this. Hard to decide which of the operations covered here -- loo-paper, or shreddings -- would be more disagreeable for those who had to deal with same, hands-on.
 
Krepostnoi said:
Going further off-topic, the USSR also had basic sewerage arrangements, to the extent that used toilet paper would be put in a basket rather than down the pan. The paper was not the equivalent of Andrex, either, but was, similarly, no-longer-needed pieces of paper. Credit to American spies, they put two and two together, and apparently gleaned, well, rich pickings, from the baskets in the lavs of strategic locations.
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That wasn't my experience of the USSR in Russia, Ukraine or Lithuania. I'm talking about not just international hotels but local ones, local restaurants, health resorts for locals, trains etc. Never saw this type of toilet paper disposal.

I visited the USSR three times between 1982 and 1990.
 
ramonmercado said:
That wasn't my experience of the USSR in Russia, Ukraine or Lithuania. I'm talking about not just international hotels but local ones, local restaurants, health resorts for locals, trains etc. Never saw this type of toilet paper disposal.

I visited the USSR three times between 1982 and 1990.
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Really? I'm staggered. I only visited the USSR once, and that in its dying days, but I've spent a lot of time in post-Soviet Russia, from '91 onwards. Did you really never see a little bin in the corner of the cubicle? I was in the south of Russia earlier this year, in fact, and even in the swanky new public conveniences they've built in my adopted home town, there were still waste baskets for this purpose. Indeed, if memory serves, there's one in the gents in the Russian Embassy in London, too, suggesting that it's become a cultural habit, not just a pragmatic one (unless the residents of Kensington must stoically tolerate lousy plumbing among the many other crosses they have to bear in that benighted suburb).
 
Krepostnoi said:
Really? I'm staggered. I only visited the USSR once, and that in its dying days, but I've spent a lot of time in post-Soviet Russia, from '91 onwards. Did you really never see a little bin in the corner of the cubicle? I was in the south of Russia earlier this year, in fact, and even in the swanky new public conveniences they've built in my adopted home town, there were still waste baskets for this purpose. Indeed, if memory serves, there's one in the gents in the Russian Embassy in London, too, suggesting that it's become a cultural habit, not just a pragmatic one (unless the residents of Kensington must stoically tolerate lousy plumbing among the many other crosses they have to bear in that benighted suburb).
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Maybe its a post USSR thing.
 
ramonmercado said:
Maybe its a post USSR thing.
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Definitely Cold War era, in my understanding. A quick snoop suggests Operation Tamarisk to be a useful initial search term, although a lot of hits seem to recycle the same material, as it were.

Even today, it's still good advice to have a pack of tissues or similar about one's person when out and about in Russia, I find. If you weren't expecting to see it, I imagine the basket would be easy to overlook, although then again, maybe not on a hot day...

Could it be that your trips were in fact more carefully curated than was immediately apparent? The Soviets were, I understand, surprisingly touchy about their image abroad, and would try hard to present a positive view of the workers paradise to foreign visitors. You've mentioned that you have held senior positions in trade unions in the past - were your journeys connected with this?
 
Krepostnoi said:
Definitely Cold War era, in my understanding. A quick snoop suggests Operation Tamarisk to be a useful initial search term, although a lot of hits seem to recycle the same material, as it were.

Even today, it's still good advice to have a pack of tissues or similar about one's person when out and about in Russia, I find. If you weren't expecting to see it, I imagine the basket would be easy to overlook, although then again, maybe not on a hot day...

Could it be that your trips were in fact more carefully curated than was immediately apparent? The Soviets were, I understand, surprisingly touchy about their image abroad, and would try hard to present a positive view of the workers paradise to foreign visitors. You've mentioned that you have held senior positions in trade unions in the past - were your journeys connected with this?
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One visit was tourist, the other two were TU.

Perhaps they were curated more so than I realised! Advance parties hiding baskets!

All three visits were during Summer.
 
ramonmercado said:
One visit was tourist, the other two were TU.

Perhaps they were curated more so than I realised! Advance parties hiding baskets!

All three visits were during Summer.
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On reflection, it does sound quite unlikely as an explanation, doesn't it? The Soviet Union was not noted for its efficiency, so for them to achieve a 100% success rate on three separate occasions seems, well, improbable. Nonetheless, I am struck by the contrast in our respective experiences.
 
Krepostnoi said:
On reflection, it does sound quite unlikely as an explanation, doesn't it? The Soviet Union was not noted for its efficiency, so for them to achieve a 100% success rate on three separate occasions seems, well, improbable. Nonetheless, I am struck by the contrast in our respective experiences.
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The one thing I did note was that they were bad at maintenance.
 
Dessie32 said:
There used to be a myth. That the QE II had glass pipes attached to the royal toilet. So the staff could check the Queen's waste. But after talking to ex ratings who served on the ship the story turned out to be a load of crap
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What were they supposed to be checking the jobbies for? Firmness? Sweetcorn? Unusual or noteworthy dimensions?
 
Do they use a pound of mashed Dundee cake, after the banana splash-down test, see how the bog copes with that? What about fart audibility? We've all done a massive sheet-tearer which has had a disappointingly small pay-load in return, how do they know whether to commiserate or cheer her when she emerges from Trap 2? Is there a Lady-in-Waiting who wafts a lit match around after Her Maj has vacated the stall and gives the warning "One should give it 5 minutes"? Where does she put her gloves when she's wiping up? Does she take her "Hand shaking and handbag holding" pair off and don a "Sheriff badge polishing" pair? Or just a single glove?

So many questions...
 
Dessie32 said:
There used to be a myth. That the QE II had glass pipes attached to the royal toilet. So the staff could check the Queen's waste. But after talking to ex ratings who served on the ship the story turned out to be a load of crap
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There are indeed bogs fittings with exactly that feature. They are installed at airports where customs officers can watch and retrieve the drugs-filled condoms swallowed by unfortunate 'mules'. This probably doesn't apply to HRH though.
 
escargot said:
There are indeed bogs fittings with exactly that feature. They are installed at airports where customs officers can watch and retrieve the drugs-filled condoms swallowed by unfortunate 'mules'. This probably doesn't apply to HRH though.
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Got them in Custody blocks too.
 
When the Queen opened the Borders Railway on September 6th 2015 there was a toilet designated for her exclusive use in the newly built staff accomodation at Tweedbank station with nicely painted walls, a carpet and padded seat. The British Transport Police mounted a cordon round it so no oiks could sneak in. It wasn’t used on the day, the carpet was removed and special seat was replaced with an ordinary one the next day. Source: the man who was in charge of the royal opening arrangments.
 
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