Tyger Lily said:
And also, the test to see if the Pope is dead is to knock him on the forehead with a silver hammer, call his baptismal name 3 times and if he doesn't reply, that's it! It's official, he's karked it. Not good if he's been eating toffee pennies or the like. I mean, who thinks of these things? A committee?
JurekB said:
The best pope story I've heard is that when a new pope is crowned or whatever it is you do to make someone a pope, he sits on a throne with a hole cut out of the seat. Then a senior bishop sticks his hand through the hole and checks that the pope is in fact a bloke.
They've been doing this ever since the Catholic church accidently made a woman pope many hundreds of years ago apparently.
I'm sure it's absolute hogwash but a great story nonetheless.
Popbitch, my most reliable news source, had special Pope issue some weeks ago. Among other stories were these two:
">> Stop! Hammer time! <<
How to tell if your pope is dead
Every pope has a chief of staff, called the
Camerlengo. When a pope dies, the Camerlengo must
certify that he is indeed dead. The ritual
tradition is to strike him on the forehead with
a silver hammer, call his baptismal name
three times and place a cloth over his mouth.
If the pope does not respond, the Camerlengo
declares him dead, authorizes a death certificate
and then seals the papal living apartments.
Later, the silver hammer is used to scratch and
break the papal ring and seal, so no documents
can be forged in his name."
">> Papal bull <<
It's not just the ring that gets kissed
The Vatican is still annoyed about Pope Joan,
the female pope who passed herself off as a
man, only to be rumbled and put to death when
she gave birth to the son of a fellow Cardinal
in her accession procession.
To prevent any repetition, the candidate chosen
as the new Pontiff has to sit naked on a special
marble throne in the Vatican. The Cardinals
assemble in a room below the throne, and look up
through a hole to check that all is as
it should be.
Once satisfied with the Holy Nutsack, they
then incant in Latin, "he has testicles and
they hang well'."