The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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#62
Not sure if this belongs here or in Strange Crimes - feel free to move it but wash your hands afterwards.
Man, 75, uses ‘home-made pump’ to spray his poo through friend’s letterbox
Bradley Jolly Wednesday 30 May 2018 7:37 pm

Pensioner travels 200 miles to spray poo through man's door
A pensioner stored his own poo in a container for two months before shoving it through a friend’s letterbox in a bitter dispute. Geoffrey Holroyd-Doveton, 75, used a ‘home-made pump’ to spray the excrement into Donald Wicks’ home as a disgusting act of revenge. The former mates had fallen out as Holroyd-Doveton thought Mr Wicks had contributed to his recent divorce and ‘ruined his life’, a court heard. But the OAP travelled more than 160 miles from Rotherham, South Yorkshire, to Mr Wicks’ house in Braintree, Essex, with poo he had stored for two months and splattered it into the home. It caused £4,000 in damage.

etc...
https://metro.co.uk/2018/05/30/man-...ay-his-poo-through-friends-letterbox-7592037/
 
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#67
Does the smell get riper with ageing? The smell of dog poo wears off after a bit. Maybe he was keeping it fresh in the freezer.
 

Shady

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#71
£4000 of damage ? What the heck did it hit? I wouldnt have thought a pump would have scattered it that far
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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#73
Britain had Jack the Ripper, America had The Boston Strangler and Australia has.... The "Poo Jogger"
Aveo executive resigns after being identified as 'poo jogger'

Australia’s corporate reputation is well and truly in the toilet.

Just days after criminal charges were laid against ANZ Group and two investment banks, Aveo Group’s national quality manager, Andrew Macintosh, resigned after being identified as Brisbane’s notorious poo jogger.

It is alleged Mr Macintosh fouled the private footpath of an apartment block near his Greenslopes home 30 times over the last year.
etc
https://www.smh.com.au/business/com...identified-as-poo-jogger-20180607-p4zk1e.html
 

Tribble

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#76
“In places like Hawaii, where we have very little terrestrial input of sand, almost all of our sand is of biological origin,” Ong said. “So I like to tell people that the sand you’re standing on in Hawaii has probably gone through the gut of something. It’ll have gone through the gut of a parrotfish, a sea urchin, some kind of worm.”

https://www.wired.com/2014/08/absurd-creature-of-the-week-parrotfish/
 

GNC

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#77
“In places like Hawaii, where we have very little terrestrial input of sand, almost all of our sand is of biological origin,” Ong said. “So I like to tell people that the sand you’re standing on in Hawaii has probably gone through the gut of something. It’ll have gone through the gut of a parrotfish, a sea urchin, some kind of worm.”

https://www.wired.com/2014/08/absurd-creature-of-the-week-parrotfish/
A.A. Milne would have had a very different career if he had written a poem called Shit-Between-the-Toes.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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#78
A.A. Milne would have had a very different career if he had written a poem called Shit-Between-the-Toes.
The play that occurred to me related to the well-known tag line for a long-running American soap opera:

"Like shit through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives." :pipe:
 
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#79
More than just a heap of crap.

‘Poop vault’ of human feces could preserve gut’s microbial biodiversity—and help treat disease
By Tania RabesandratanaNov. 1, 2018 , 12:30 PM

Whether in villages on the coast of Ghana or in the mountains of Rwanda, asking for people's poop is a good icebreaker, Mathieu Groussin says. "Everybody laughs," says Groussin, a microbiologist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in Cambridge. "Especially when we stress that we need the whole fecal sample and show them the big bowl."

He's asking on behalf of the Global Microbiome Conservancy (GMC), an effort to identify and preserve gut bacteria from different peoples around the world. Most microbiome research has focused on Western, urban populations, which typically eat processed foods and use antibiotics. The few studies of traditional peoples have found a far more diverse gut microbiome that appears to be linked to the absence of certain diseases.

But as traditional societies change their lifestyles, that biodiversity is under threat, says Eric Alm, an MIT microbiologist who co-founded GMC in 2016 with Groussin and two other MIT postdocs. "Strains that coevolved with humans are currently disappearing," he says. Later this month, Groussin plans to expand the growing conservatory with samples from Nigerian communities affected by oil pollution near the Niger River delta.

Rescuing and preserving the microbes, Alm says, could pave the way for new treatments not just for gut ailments, but for other disorders linked to the microbiome—such as asthma, allergy, obesity, and diabetes. "I'm 100% confident that there are relevant medical applications for hundreds of strains we've screened and characterized," he says. ...

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/201...ly_2018-11-01&et_rid=394299689&et_cid=2463466
 

JamesWhitehead

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#80
The way we s(h)it.

Nothing very new about the advice that we are doing it all wrong. I'm unclear why we need to spend money on a special piece of plastic to rectify things. Tight-arsed, moi? :dpoo:
 
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escargot

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#81
Haven't we already discussed this many times? I seem to remember that the Samurai way is to raise the left knee to free off the colon or summat.
One presumably adjusts the obi and carefully positions the katana accordingly.
 

Bigphoot2

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#82
Haven't we already discussed this many times? I seem to remember that the Samurai way is to raise the left knee to free off the colon or summat.
One presumably adjusts the obi and carefully positions the katana accordingly.
The last thing you'd want is your katana to slip mid-plop. Could be very nasty.
 

mummyknave

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#83
Against my better judgement;

127c. The abomination of N. is dung; N. rejects urine.
127d. N. loathes his abomination.
128a. The abomination of N., it is dung; he eateth not that abomination,
128b. just as at the same time Set shrinks from these two companions who voyage over the sky.

This is from the oldest corpus in existence;

http://www.sacred-texts.com/egy/pyt/pyt06.htm

I believe it refers to defecating into highly carbonated water. It causes a cascade eruption that pushes the "two companions" into a high trajectory while the water level (called "Set") quickly returns to pre-shit levels.

People used to have a sense of humor...
 

Tribble

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#84
There's a Youtube celeb called Blippi. Apparently wildly popular with young kids.

Turns out, before he was Blippi, he was "grossout comedian Steezy Grossman" and made a video in which he does a little dance, naked apart from a cycle helmet and a grin, and projectile-craps over a friend.

https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/14/kids...oped-naked-friend-harlem-shake-video-8622891/

Someone posted a gif of it in a twitter thread and... well, could do with not having seen it, thanks.
 

Comfortably Numb

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#85

maximus otter

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#86
Why did medieval kings have servants to wipe their butt for them?
The office was entitled Groom of the Stool, and it's hotly debated as to whether it actually involved botty-buffing.

What isn't debated is the office was highly sought-after, as it gave virtually unlimited access to the king and admission to his confidence.

maximus otter
 

OneWingedBird

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#88
I was thinking we had a 'news of the poos' thread somewhere but apparently not.

Remember seeing a bunch of albums by this guy in a charity shop wayback though had no idea what they were about and they didn't look interesting enough to find out.

Turns out he specialised in blowing up cess pits, though the stories may be a little embellished...

 

escargot

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#89
I was thinking we had a 'news of the poos' thread somewhere but apparently not.

Remember seeing a bunch of albums by this guy in a charity shop wayback though had no idea what they were about and they didn't look interesting enough to find out.

Turns out he specialised in blowing up cess pits, though the stories may be a little embellished...

That's local Cheshire hero Blaster Bates!

Bates was a demolition expert who specialised in using explosives. He used to give entertaining talks about his work. I sadly didn't get the chance to see his show live but knew people who did, and they'd be doubled up laughing trying to describe what they'd heard.

His anecdotes weren't embellished. Back then explosive demolition was rather less regulated than it is now and certainly not an exact science. Bates would carry sticks of dynamite around to show in pubs - I met people who'd seen him do this - and use as much or as little as he thought necessary. Getting it wrong could be dangerous or at best, very messy. Hence the Shower of Shit!
 

OneWingedBird

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#90
That's local Cheshire hero Blaster Bates!

Bates was a demolition expert who specialised in using explosives. He used to give entertaining talks about his work. I sadly didn't get the chance to see his show live but knew people who did, and they'd be doubled up laughing trying to describe what they'd heard.

His anecdotes weren't embellished. Back then explosive demolition was rather less regulated than it is now and certainly not an exact science. Bates would carry sticks of dynamite around to show in pubs - I met people who'd seen him do this - and use as much or as little as he thought necessary. Getting it wrong could be dangerous or at best, very messy. Hence the Shower of Shit!
I'm not convinced that his turd geyser from the cess pit really went as high as the Eiffel Tower!
 
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