The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

LordRsmacker

Abominable Snowman
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
650
Likes
400
Points
79
May I assume that you have not yet seen images of the young Japanese lady who will forever be known as 'Tubgirl'? If not, I suggest you do not go in search of her pictures. Remember my Fortean friend, once seen, some things cannot be unseen.
It's great being old sometimes. Names like Tubgirl, Goatse and Lemon Party, which were known to any of us nerdy types who embraced The Web through our dial-up modems back in the day, became infamous and therefore well-signposted to be avoided by "normal" internet users looking for some nice cups that 2 girls might be able to share. So much so, that many are now largely forgotten, save by us who recall with a shudder the night we strayed into alt.sex.binaries.pictures.etc and saw those "things that cannot be unseen".

However, there's a whole new generation of unwary travellers, fresh from Facebook etc, who consider themselves digital natives, but who are ripe to be to be lured into putting those terms into a well-known search engine. Oh, the joy of seeing some know-it-all young buck's face as he sees what a Blue Waffle is for the very first time. Priceless.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
24,959
Likes
29,881
Points
284
It's great being old sometimes. Names like Tubgirl, Goatse and Lemon Party, which were known to any of us nerdy types who embraced The Web through our dial-up modems back in the day, became infamous and therefore well-signposted to be avoided by "normal" internet users looking for some nice cups that 2 girls might be able to share. So much so, that many are now largely forgotten, save by us who recall with a shudder the night we strayed into alt.sex.binaries.pictures.etc and saw those "things that cannot be unseen".

However, there's a whole new generation of unwary travellers, fresh from Facebook etc, who consider themselves digital natives, but who are ripe to be to be lured into putting those terms into a well-known search engine. Oh, the joy of seeing some know-it-all young buck's face as he sees what a Blue Waffle is for the very first time. Priceless.
In the spirit of all of the above, you may have missed out on 1 Priest 1 Nun .. that's quality. (it's weird poo sex stuff)
 
Last edited:

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
1,178
Likes
2,698
Points
154
It's great being old sometimes. Names like Tubgirl, Goatse and Lemon Party, which were known to any of us nerdy types who embraced The Web through our dial-up modems back in the day, became infamous and therefore well-signposted to be avoided by "normal" internet users looking for some nice cups that 2 girls might be able to share. So much so, that many are now largely forgotten, save by us who recall with a shudder the night we strayed into alt.sex.binaries.pictures.etc and saw those "things that cannot be unseen".

However, there's a whole new generation of unwary travellers, fresh from Facebook etc, who consider themselves digital natives, but who are ripe to be to be lured into putting those terms into a well-known search engine. Oh, the joy of seeing some know-it-all young buck's face as he sees what a Blue Waffle is for the very first time. Priceless.
True story. A couple of years ago, our youngest son (in his early twenties at the time), tries to shock his mother and I by imparting his knowledge of all thing gross and disturbing that he's found online. In doing so, he mention the 'Blue Waffle' and asks if we knew what it was. Now, my wife had been a teacher of young adults for 20 years and had encountered most things of a similar nature through her students who often tried (and failed) to shock the teacher. I had for 18 years, worked as a graphic & web designer in the online adult industry and therefore had seen it all.
Our son persisted once we admitted to knowing what a 'Blue Waffle' was and was then adamant that he ought to find the original image to show us. He did, expecting his mother and I to gag at the sight of it. When he showed us, I casually said "It has nothing on Tubgirl.' He replies ''Tubgirl? What's that?'' I looked at his mother, she looked at me and so I showed him. Next thing you know, he's throwing up in the kitchen sink while we piss ourselves laughing. Which all just goes to prove my point that some things are simply better left unseen.
 
Last edited:

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
24,959
Likes
29,881
Points
284
True story. A couple of years ago, our youngest son (in his early twenties at the time), tries to shock his mother and I by imparting his knowledge of all thing gross and shocking that he's found online. In doing so, he mention the 'Blue Waffle' and asks if we knew what it was. Now, my wife had been a teacher of young adults for 20 years and had encountered most things of a similar nature through her students who often tried (and failed) to shock the teacher. I had for 18 years, worked as a graphic & web designer in the online adult industry and therefore had seen it all.
Our son persisted once we admitted to knowing what a 'Blue Waffle' was and was then adamant that he ought to find the original image to show us. He did, expecting his mother and I to gag at the sight of it. When he showed us, I casually said "It has nothing on Tubgirl.' He replies ''Tubgirl? What's that?'' I looked at his mother, she looked at me and so I showed him. Next thing you know, he's throwing up in the kitchen sink while we piss ourselves laughing. Which all just goes to prove my point that some things are simply better left unseen.
Ha! .. lightweight .. although my kryptonite is false teeth. I've dealt with everything (puke, piss, shit, changing maggot therapy dressings and worse) in my past medical work but false teeth? ... I used to apply convines to old men's cocks because the young female student nurses didn't want so we'd trade jobs just so I didn't have to clean false teeth. I would literally prefer to walk up to an old man and hold his cock for ten seconds until the glue sets than scrub manky false teeth. I even feel a bit sick writing this now.

Years later I served a woman with horrendous teeth in a restaurant as the manager, asked a waiter to take over for a moment and was leaning over a sink downstairs throwing up.
 

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
1,178
Likes
2,698
Points
154
Ha! .. lightweight .. although my kryptonite is false teeth. I've dealt with everything (puke, piss, shit, changing maggot therapy dressings and worse) in my past medical work but false teeth? ... I used to apply convines to old men's cocks because the young female student nurses didn't want to just so I didn't have to clean false teeth. I even feel a bit sick writing this now.
Given the choice, I think I'd probably choose to not have to clean false teeth too. This not a thought I've ever felt the need to process before. Now I cannot unthink it.
 

Ogdred Weary

Sooner than expected.
Joined
Apr 2, 2012
Messages
2,073
Likes
3,363
Points
159
In certain circles*, a "unicorn" is a young, single, bi-sexual woman who is looking to play with both the male and female partners of a couple (who are probably "mature" and not exactly gym-bunnies) - ie. they reputedly exist, but aren't evident in the real world.

*OK, on FAB Swingers.com
FIND ME ONE OF THESE IMMEDIATELY.
 

maximus otter

Recovering policeman
Joined
Aug 9, 2001
Messages
4,476
Likes
8,130
Points
234
He replies ''Tubgirl? What's that?'' I looked at his mother, she looked at me and so I showed him. Next thing you know, he's throwing up in the kitchen sink while we piss ourselves laughing.
He’s now living in Brighton with a marine biologist called Julian. They collect vintage teapots.

maximus otter
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
25,296
Likes
20,742
Points
309
Location
HM The Tower of London
Ha! .. lightweight .. although my kryptonite is false teeth. I've dealt with everything (puke, piss, shit, changing maggot therapy dressings and worse) in my past medical work but false teeth? ... I used to apply convines to old men's cocks because the young female student nurses didn't want so we'd trade jobs just so I didn't have to clean false teeth. I would literally prefer to walk up to an old man and hold his cock for ten seconds until the glue sets than scrub manky false teeth. I even feel a bit sick writing this now.

Years later I served a woman with horrendous teeth in a restaurant as the manager, asked a waiter to take over for a moment and was leaning over a sink downstairs throwing up.
We all have our weak spot.
Mine was cold shit. I could do commode duty all day, deal with incontinent patients, change leg bags etc, as well as doing people's dentures and cleaning patients and their surroundings up after explosive vomiting or haemorrhaging; but cold excrement, that'd been (say) left in a bedpan while the patient was being attended to, well. Barf Central'ere.

Didn't actually chuck up, of course. I'd tell myself it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit and somehow get it sorted.
 

CarlosTheDJ

Antediluvian
Joined
Feb 1, 2007
Messages
5,757
Likes
5,186
Points
294
Location
Sussex
We all have our weak spot.
Mine was cold shit. I could do commode duty all day, deal with incontinent patients, change leg bags etc, as well as doing people's dentures and cleaning patients and their surroundings up after explosive vomiting or haemorrhaging; but cold excrement, that'd been (say) left in a bedpan while the patient was being attended to, well. Barf Central'ere.

Didn't actually chuck up, of course. I'd tell myself it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit and somehow get it sorted.
Was warm shit OK?
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
24,959
Likes
29,881
Points
284
We all have our weak spot.
Mine was cold shit. I could do commode duty all day, deal with incontinent patients, change leg bags etc, as well as doing people's dentures and cleaning patients and their surroundings up after explosive vomiting or haemorrhaging; but cold excrement, that'd been (say) left in a bedpan while the patient was being attended to, well. Barf Central'ere.

Didn't actually chuck up, of course. I'd tell myself it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit and somehow get it sorted.
Is it teeth? .. I'm not clicking on that if it's teeth ..
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
24,959
Likes
29,881
Points
284
Nope, I'm cool with teeth. It's... Are there Americans present? Poop.
I can mentally handle other orifices of the human body sometimes being horrible but yer teeth are in your mouth! .. that's where you put food in! .. I sympathise completely that some older people aren't able to clean their false teeth themselves so it's not their fault but still .. *shudder*
 

brownmane

Abominable Snowman
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
505
Likes
946
Points
93
Location
Ontario, Canada
I found the thing that I couldn't take was swabbing someone's mouth out around bloodied teeth (he'd bitten the very tip of his tongue off during a seizure so it bled for awhile and we just needed to keep his mouth clean). It was not even much blood, just around the gums. And I watch horror movies!

Also I was, at that time, glad I'd never become a nurse as I wanted to do when I was a kid.
 

LordRsmacker

Abominable Snowman
Joined
May 1, 2006
Messages
650
Likes
400
Points
79
Nope, I'm cool with teeth. It's... Are there Americans present? Poop.
It is a minor annoyance to me, how the word "poop" has become more prevalent here in the UK. How come I can buy "Poop bags" (to enable me to decorate the dog poo tree in the park) - what's wrong with "Poo bags"? Or "Shit sacks", for that matter. Why is "poop" more acceptable than "turd"?
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
12,468
Likes
14,048
Points
309
Location
Out of Bounds
It is a minor annoyance to me, how the word "poop" has become more prevalent here in the UK. How come I can buy "Poop bags" (to enable me to decorate the dog poo tree in the park) - what's wrong with "Poo bags"? ...
As it happens, "poop" is actually the older colloquial term, having been in use for circa 2 centuries before "poo" arrived.

poop (n.2)
"excrement," 1744, a children's euphemism, probably of imitative origin. The verb in this sense is from 1903. The same word in the sense "to break wind softly" is attested from 1721; earlier "to make a short blast on a horn" (late 14c.). Meaning "stupid or dull person" is from 1915. Pooper-scooper attested from 1970.
https://www.etymonline.com/word/poop

poo (n.)
also pooh, baby-talk for "excrement," 1950s (see poop (n.2))
https://www.etymonline.com/word/poo
 

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
1,178
Likes
2,698
Points
154
Metamucil have recently released a trilogy of t.v commercials airing here in Australia with the by-line 'The Turd we Deserve' (to tie in with the federal election we're having this Saturday) featuring Ms Meta Mucil, Nugget and Gutsy.
 

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
1,178
Likes
2,698
Points
154
Watch this at your own peril... The Poop Lady (no porn , she hoards poo):
May I just add that I didn't search this out, I was browsing another forum and this just happened to be a topic new today (and a nice addition to this one).
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
Joined
Aug 24, 2001
Messages
25,296
Likes
20,742
Points
309
Location
HM The Tower of London
Watch this at your own peril... The Poop Lady (no porn , she hoards poo):
May I just add that I didn't search this out, I was browsing another forum and this just happened to be a topic new today (and a nice addition to this one).
Reminds me of an episode of New Tricks (I think) where there the police find a freezer full of carefully-collected, bagged and tagged cat turds.
 

Ogdred Weary

Sooner than expected.
Joined
Apr 2, 2012
Messages
2,073
Likes
3,363
Points
159
Watch this at your own peril... The Poop Lady (no porn , she hoards poo):
May I just add that I didn't search this out, I was browsing another forum and this just happened to be a topic new today (and a nice addition to this one).
I'm amazed there wasn't some sort of local authority intervention after complaints from neighbours. That said it is the US where public spending is cut to the bone.
 

Swifty

doesn't negotiate with terriers
Joined
Sep 15, 2013
Messages
24,959
Likes
29,881
Points
284
Rate your plop in medically-agreed terms: The Bristol Stool Chart:



maximus otter
I've got a laminated (probably for the best) Bristol Stool Chart somewhere that I nicked from somewhere. She's probably thrown it away hoping that I haven't noticed by now .. and this image has spelled diarrhoea incorrectly.

and so has this video ..
 

Timble2

Imaginary Person
Joined
Feb 9, 2003
Messages
5,743
Likes
1,190
Points
234
Location
In a Liminal Zone
I've got a laminated (probably for the best) Bristol Stool Chart somewhere that I nicked from somewhere. She's probably thrown it away hoping that I haven't noticed by now .. and this image has spelled diarrhoea incorrectly.

and so has this video ..
That's the US spelling...and is there ever a GOOD case of diarrhoea?
 
Top