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The Shit Thread: Excremental Discussion

True story. A couple of years ago, our youngest son (in his early twenties at the time), tries to shock his mother and I by imparting his knowledge of all thing gross and shocking that he's found online. In doing so, he mention the 'Blue Waffle' and asks if we knew what it was. Now, my wife had been a teacher of young adults for 20 years and had encountered most things of a similar nature through her students who often tried (and failed) to shock the teacher. I had for 18 years, worked as a graphic & web designer in the online adult industry and therefore had seen it all.
Our son persisted once we admitted to knowing what a 'Blue Waffle' was and was then adamant that he ought to find the original image to show us. He did, expecting his mother and I to gag at the sight of it. When he showed us, I casually said "It has nothing on Tubgirl.' He replies ''Tubgirl? What's that?'' I looked at his mother, she looked at me and so I showed him. Next thing you know, he's throwing up in the kitchen sink while we piss ourselves laughing. Which all just goes to prove my point that some things are simply better left unseen.
Ha! .. lightweight .. although my kryptonite is false teeth. I've dealt with everything (puke, piss, shit, changing maggot therapy dressings and worse) in my past medical work but false teeth? ... I used to apply convines to old men's cocks because the young female student nurses didn't want so we'd trade jobs just so I didn't have to clean false teeth. I would literally prefer to walk up to an old man and hold his cock for ten seconds until the glue sets than scrub manky false teeth. I even feel a bit sick writing this now.

Years later I served a woman with horrendous teeth in a restaurant as the manager, asked a waiter to take over for a moment and was leaning over a sink downstairs throwing up.
 
Ha! .. lightweight .. although my kryptonite is false teeth. I've dealt with everything (puke, piss, shit, changing maggot therapy dressings and worse) in my past medical work but false teeth? ... I used to apply convines to old men's cocks because the young female student nurses didn't want to just so I didn't have to clean false teeth. I even feel a bit sick writing this now.

Given the choice, I think I'd probably choose to not have to clean false teeth too. This not a thought I've ever felt the need to process before. Now I cannot unthink it.
 
In certain circles*, a "unicorn" is a young, single, bi-sexual woman who is looking to play with both the male and female partners of a couple (who are probably "mature" and not exactly gym-bunnies) - ie. they reputedly exist, but aren't evident in the real world.

*OK, on FAB Swingers.com

FIND ME ONE OF THESE IMMEDIATELY.
 
He replies ''Tubgirl? What's that?'' I looked at his mother, she looked at me and so I showed him. Next thing you know, he's throwing up in the kitchen sink while we piss ourselves laughing.

He’s now living in Brighton with a marine biologist called Julian. They collect vintage teapots.

maximus otter
 
Ha! .. lightweight .. although my kryptonite is false teeth. I've dealt with everything (puke, piss, shit, changing maggot therapy dressings and worse) in my past medical work but false teeth? ... I used to apply convines to old men's cocks because the young female student nurses didn't want so we'd trade jobs just so I didn't have to clean false teeth. I would literally prefer to walk up to an old man and hold his cock for ten seconds until the glue sets than scrub manky false teeth. I even feel a bit sick writing this now.

Years later I served a woman with horrendous teeth in a restaurant as the manager, asked a waiter to take over for a moment and was leaning over a sink downstairs throwing up.

We all have our weak spot.
Mine was cold shit. I could do commode duty all day, deal with incontinent patients, change leg bags etc, as well as doing people's dentures and cleaning patients and their surroundings up after explosive vomiting or haemorrhaging; but cold excrement, that'd been (say) left in a bedpan while the patient was being attended to, well. Barf Central'ere.

Didn't actually chuck up, of course. I'd tell myself it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit and somehow get it sorted.
 
We all have our weak spot.
Mine was cold shit. I could do commode duty all day, deal with incontinent patients, change leg bags etc, as well as doing people's dentures and cleaning patients and their surroundings up after explosive vomiting or haemorrhaging; but cold excrement, that'd been (say) left in a bedpan while the patient was being attended to, well. Barf Central'ere.

Didn't actually chuck up, of course. I'd tell myself it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit and somehow get it sorted.

Was warm shit OK?
 
We all have our weak spot.
Mine was cold shit. I could do commode duty all day, deal with incontinent patients, change leg bags etc, as well as doing people's dentures and cleaning patients and their surroundings up after explosive vomiting or haemorrhaging; but cold excrement, that'd been (say) left in a bedpan while the patient was being attended to, well. Barf Central'ere.

Didn't actually chuck up, of course. I'd tell myself it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit it's only shit and somehow get it sorted.
Is it teeth? .. I'm not clicking on that if it's teeth ..
 
Nope, I'm cool with teeth. It's... Are there Americans present? Poop.
I can mentally handle other orifices of the human body sometimes being horrible but yer teeth are in your mouth! .. that's where you put food in! .. I sympathise completely that some older people aren't able to clean their false teeth themselves so it's not their fault but still .. *shudder*
 
I found the thing that I couldn't take was swabbing someone's mouth out around bloodied teeth (he'd bitten the very tip of his tongue off during a seizure so it bled for awhile and we just needed to keep his mouth clean). It was not even much blood, just around the gums. And I watch horror movies!

Also I was, at that time, glad I'd never become a nurse as I wanted to do when I was a kid.
 
Nope, I'm cool with teeth. It's... Are there Americans present? Poop.

It is a minor annoyance to me, how the word "poop" has become more prevalent here in the UK. How come I can buy "Poop bags" (to enable me to decorate the dog poo tree in the park) - what's wrong with "Poo bags"? Or "Shit sacks", for that matter. Why is "poop" more acceptable than "turd"?
 
It is a minor annoyance to me, how the word "poop" has become more prevalent here in the UK. How come I can buy "Poop bags" (to enable me to decorate the dog poo tree in the park) - what's wrong with "Poo bags"? ...

As it happens, "poop" is actually the older colloquial term, having been in use for circa 2 centuries before "poo" arrived.

poop (n.2)
"excrement," 1744, a children's euphemism, probably of imitative origin. The verb in this sense is from 1903. The same word in the sense "to break wind softly" is attested from 1721; earlier "to make a short blast on a horn" (late 14c.). Meaning "stupid or dull person" is from 1915. Pooper-scooper attested from 1970.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/poop

poo (n.)
also pooh, baby-talk for "excrement," 1950s (see poop (n.2))

https://www.etymonline.com/word/poo
 
Metamucil have recently released a trilogy of t.v commercials airing here in Australia with the by-line 'The Turd we Deserve' (to tie in with the federal election we're having this Saturday) featuring Ms Meta Mucil, Nugget and Gutsy.
 
Watch this at your own peril... The Poop Lady (no porn , she hoards poo):
May I just add that I didn't search this out, I was browsing another forum and this just happened to be a topic new today (and a nice addition to this one).
 
Watch this at your own peril... The Poop Lady (no porn , she hoards poo):
May I just add that I didn't search this out, I was browsing another forum and this just happened to be a topic new today (and a nice addition to this one).

Reminds me of an episode of New Tricks (I think) where there the police find a freezer full of carefully-collected, bagged and tagged cat turds.
 
I have no idea how anybody would rationalise that it's OK to live surrounded by a pile of their own turds.
Look at that woman's eyes in that video. She is off her rocker.
 
Watch this at your own peril... The Poop Lady (no porn , she hoards poo):
May I just add that I didn't search this out, I was browsing another forum and this just happened to be a topic new today (and a nice addition to this one).

I'm amazed there wasn't some sort of local authority intervention after complaints from neighbours. That said it is the US where public spending is cut to the bone.
 
Rate your plop in medically-agreed terms: The Bristol Stool Chart:

BristolStoolChart.png


maximus otter
 
Rate your plop in medically-agreed terms: The Bristol Stool Chart:

BristolStoolChart.png


maximus otter
I've got a laminated (probably for the best) Bristol Stool Chart somewhere that I nicked from somewhere. She's probably thrown it away hoping that I haven't noticed by now .. and this image has spelled diarrhoea incorrectly.

and so has this video ..
 
I've got a laminated (probably for the best) Bristol Stool Chart somewhere that I nicked from somewhere. She's probably thrown it away hoping that I haven't noticed by now .. and this image has spelled diarrhoea incorrectly.

and so has this video ..

That's the US spelling...and is there ever a GOOD case of diarrhoea?
 
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