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Knives Manufactured From Frozen Human Feces Do Not Work

Tribble

Killjoy Boffin
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Apr 21, 2015
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Well, you learn something new every day.
No, You Can't Make A Working Knife Out Of Frozen Feces
TECHNOLOGY



By Stephen Luntz
12 SEP 2019, 11:33

In a peer-reviewed piece of myth-busting research, scientists have sadly concluded it is not possible, even in the polar winter, to freeze your own shit and use it as a knife. Just in case you were wondering.
Explorer Wade Davis tells the story in his book Shadows in the Sun of an Inuit man whose family took his tools away in an effort to force him to move to a settlement. According to the story, which has since become wildly popular online (more bacterial than viral we think), the old man took a dump outside the igloo and shaped it into a knife. In the bitter cold, this became hard enough for him to use it to kill a dog, turn its rib cage into a sled and have another dog pull him into the trackless wilderness.
etc
https://www.iflscience.com/technology/no-you-cant-make-a-working-knife-out-of-frozen-feces/
 
... Edit: Probably should be in Fortean news, mods if you could please...

Sorry ... For being late to the game, your post must take up a position at the back of the queue ... :evillaugh:

(This thread assembled from posts in The Shit Thread plus yours.)

I think it's fine in General Forteana. I'm tempted to move it to Damned Science, though ... :thought:
 
Geez, I have to slow down! At first glance I thought the title of this thread was "Knives Manufactured From Frozen Human Faces Do Not Work".
(Let's hope not.)
 
How big are the horses in your neighborhood, X Berg Mann?
 
Hang on a second, where were you all during History class? Do none of you remember the epic adventures of the great Dane Peter Freuchen and his legendary survivalist skills?

Peter Freuchen: The Arctic Explorer Who Was Burried in a Blizzard and Used His Frozen Poop to Escape
Lorenc Peter Elfred Freuchen was a 6’7” tall Danish explorer and old-school 1900s explorer who rode a dogsled 1,000 kilometers across the Greenland ice cap in the 1910s, killed a wolf with his bare hands and escaped a Nazi death warrant at the height of the Third Reich.
https://historydaily.org/peter-freuchen-used-frozen-poop-to-escape-blizzard
 
Hang on a second, where were you all during History class? Do none of you remember the epic adventures of the great Dane Peter Freuchen and his legendary survivalist skills?

Peter Freuchen: The Arctic Explorer Who Was Burried in a Blizzard and Used His Frozen Poop to Escape

https://historydaily.org/peter-freuchen-used-frozen-poop-to-escape-blizzard

There is a very famous photographic portrait of him and his wife. Viewing it, I can believe that he pooped solid iron.

294256.jpg
 
There is a very famous photographic portrait of him and his wife. Viewing it, I can believe that he pooped solid iron.

View attachment 20740

Seen the photo, never knew who they were.

Knife made of frozen faeces reminds me of a factual prog on TV when a forensic scientist was poo-pooing the idea of using an icicle as the perfect murder weapon (ice melts taking any trace evidence with it). Watched with glee at the astonished look on his face as he plunged the icicle through a side of pig.
 
Marinate the turd in liquid Nitrogen. Tie it to a bit of stick and use it to bludgeon the victim. Turd dissolves on re-heat. Murder weapon gone.

This method may not work if you have recently had a couple of pints of lager and a curry.
 
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