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The Sunday Scaries

Victory

Victory

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Jan 15, 2017
Messages
2,268
Location
London
This is the name given to the feelings of dread/apprehension/tension/sadness/anger on a Sunday, when one knows the weekend is drawing to a close and the working week will begin the next day.

For me it is very real, tends to kick in abut 6.30PM, when I know I have just the evening left to pursue my creative and social interests before becoming that automaton again at 8.30am.
My job offers little in terms of satisfaction or salary.

These feelings can manifest as an inability to concentrate, a confusion of what to do, and lethargy, which then ends up with me browsing online without plan and achieving little.

It can be worsened by friends phoning on a Sunday evening, when I want to still gain something out of the weekend in terms of achievement,
If the call goes on longer than 15 minutes I get very agitated, even with close friends, and might snap at them.

Bizarrely though, this does not happen if I meet them in person for a drink or a meal.

I have to counter these feelings by leaving my phone alone, and reading a book, or watching a film, or exercising, or writing
Something concrete.


Does anyone else here experience this?


(I appreciate that not everyone's working week begins on a Monday morning.)
 
In my school years when Friday came I felt like I was free from prison, and when Sunday came I felt like I was going back to prison or known as public school.

Your feeling is an universal feeling across all barriers.

For me, my jobs had irregular hours but I was always waiting for that next day off.

Hopefully when you retire it will be better situation for you.
 
I think this is universal as @charliebrown mentions. Though is this the same experience for people who have their own business? I don't know.

Most of us work to pay bills and to hopefully, at some point in our lives, be able to do what we really want. Which is mostly something on our own terms without some "other" determining what we should do with our time.

I have a four week schedule which at one point, I have four days of FREEDOM. I really don't want to return to work after this time. I resent that I have to.

Is this because more of our time is taken doing things we have to just to live? Maybe. Or, that many workplaces no longer seem interested in us as people, only wanting to maximize productivity (whatever that is). There is no appreciation that most employees are doing and giving the best they can. Always, people end up being told that they are suspected of doing less and that they can be replaced.

Who wants to continue working in an environment with these messages day to day?

I personally dream of the day when I can work if I want and if I get grief for nothing I've done eg. can't live up to unreasonable and unclear expectations, then can say exactly what I think. Of course that can only happen for us peons when we retire.

Also, I will work somewhere that may give me more autonomy, but pay less. Particularly if the business or agency tries its best to give me recognition (even just verbally) for what I am doing. I can do this because of my own personal situation. I have no dependents. Others don't even have this freedom.
 
Could it possibly be the manifestation of our need to occasionally break out of routines? I've thought a bit about this in the past, and whilst I don't work a 'conventional' job I do notice this pattern in friends and family, and it is true that contemporary life often doesn't take into consideration our innate desire/need for change and variation. It keeps things fresh.
Likewise, too little structure and routine can result in a similar sort of malaise, and a sense of going around in circles but never quite getting anywhere (ask me how I know!)...

Our society tends to revolve around consumerism, working to be able to facilitate that consumerism, crowned by our national obsession with the acquisition of property. This becomes even more urgent when we have children of our own, our natural inclination to keep them safe, well educated and well set on the path towards attaining a decent lifestyle of a similar (if slightly different or more rewarding) pattern. And the world just keeps on turning.

I think a part of us, no matter how fulfilled or happy we are with our lot, just yearns to break out of patterns which might naturally become stifling and lose their freshness. No one ever really prepares us for that, like "where are we really going, and what next?" It's something we don't quite grasp in youth because the decades of the future seem so very far away. But isn't the fabled mid-life-crisis concerned with something very similar? Has anyone ever really figured out what it even means? We throw that description around so lightly without truly coming to terms or getting to grips with what it actually is.

Perhaps it is a vague sense of unfulfillment, which doesn't add up because we have done everything just as we ought to have; the mortgage may be paid off in our early 50's, sooner even, or our kids are doing great, career ambitions realised, etc etc. But there's a point where we begin to hear the clock ticking. Life becomes more urgent, and our perception of time has changed (My God, it's speeding up!!).
Perhaps we realise that our time has been spent, mostly, creating wealth, or growing someone else's, and there has to be more to it than just that?

A job 'pays' us for our time, often our expertise, but mostly in terms of TIME. If we reach a point where time has taken on a more luminous, ominous or urgent meaning for us I can imagine something, if only unconsciously, will erupt. Life demands checking in with the self every now and then to recalibrate, to assess how we feel, what we need or desire. We measure our time here in years, and the older we become the less we can afford to give away.

So maybe this vague irritation stems from some sort of awareness of that....if we look around us, we can see this irritation everywhere. We're not alone. I dare say none of us are immune, regardless our achievements. Perhaps there's also a tinge of meaninglessness to be sensed, too, in a world where so many of us feel perpetually confused, a world that is running out of Gods, doing it all for the money yet having so very few years left at the end of that race to enjoy it with. This might sound pessimistic, but I don't think it is. It's simply awareness of how our society currently works, and with that awareness we have some degree of choice what to do about it, ie changes we could make.
I think we all underestimate how much pleasure, enjoyment, freedom and fun we actually need. The kid in us never dies. It isn't selfish to acknowledge that, especially in a world that continuously works to distract us from our 'self'. A world that verbally rewards graft and suffering yet doesn't offer you a medal at the end for your efforts.

Gosh, sorry that's so loooong, I just got carried away with my thoughts and cup of tea there :D
 
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I used to feel this way when I was younger, due to not liking going to school. It was a waste of sundays. You kept going though, so you wouldn't end up with a crappy, badly paid job.
Now that I am an adult with a crappy, badly paid job I get the monday blues but not the dread before. However I think it is no deeper than humans feeling bad about having to return to something they don't like.
 
Xanatic* said:
However I think it is no deeper than humans feeling bad about having to return to something they don't like.
Click to expand...

If for you that is the reason, then it is your experience and perfectly valid.

For me, it is far deeper, linked to what @brownmane and @merricat mention in terms of the feeling of the loss of freedom, creativity and control of one's own time.
 
Sure but isn't that the reason why you dislike going to work? If you started your dream job tomorrow, do you think sunday evenings would still feel unpleasant?
 
Xanatic* said:
Sure but isn't that the reason why you dislike going to work? If you started your dream job tomorrow, do you think sunday evenings would still feel unpleasant?
Click to expand...

I don't know.
It depends if the business I started was fulfilling in terms of the actual type of work I was doing, or just lucrative with a view to retiring early.

I imagine if it was fulfilling, then I would not get the Sunday Scaries anywhere near as much, or at all.

I often think that if I had a three day weekend, I would not get them, as I would stringently devote one day of it to creative interests.
 
I often think that if I had a three day weekend, I would not get them, as I would stringently devote one day of it to creative interests.

Forgive me for being 'serious' but I don't think this would be enough, without considering why, and what the larger picture of your life is.
 
Some companies in the U.S. have their employees work four 10 hour days in order to have a three day weekend.

About 20 miles from me is the Nissan Car Plant of North America, and their employees voted for a four 10 hour day to get a long weekend.

I don’t think on a Monday morning I could face a 10 hour day on an assembly line !
 
I was in the same profession for 25 years and really enjoyed it but towards the end things changed and the company I worked for was awful so Sunday nights got a bit grim. Packed it in but the Sunday nights feeling took a while to go away weirdly. I now actually enjoy them.
 
I work shifts on a rota and can have anything from one day off to four days off in a row. Going back to work after one day off is absolutely fine, like I haven't got out of the 'swing' and routine. Going back after four days is really tough and I have to psyche myself up (even though I thoroughly enjoy my job). For me it seems to be linked to being able to do what I want. With one day off I don't get chance to do much, bit of housework, some writing, walk the dog and then it's bedtime and back to work. With four days off, I've spent at least two days lollygagging about, watching YouTube, reading stuff, browsing the internet - and it seems very much more difficult to tear myself away.

For those with Sunday Dread - do you still get it if you've had a really really busy weekend doing stuff that's maybe obligatory(cleaning, visiting relatives, shopping) rather than relaxing?
 
catseye said:
I work shifts on a rota and can have anything from one day off to four days off in a row. Going back to work after one day off is absolutely fine, like I haven't got out of the 'swing' and routine. Going back after four days is really tough and I have to psyche myself up (even though I thoroughly enjoy my job). For me it seems to be linked to being able to do what I want. With one day off I don't get chance to do much, bit of housework, some writing, walk the dog and then it's bedtime and back to work. With four days off, I've spent at least two days lollygagging about, watching YouTube, reading stuff, browsing the internet - and it seems very much more difficult to tear myself away.

For those with Sunday Dread - do you still get it if you've had a really really busy weekend doing stuff that's maybe obligatory(cleaning, visiting relatives, shopping) rather than relaxing?
Click to expand...
I'm not sure if I mentioned this recently, or was just thinking it, or maybe I was speaking to the local tramp- but, I think people who have two full weeks off at Christmas find it much more difficult and depressing to go back to work than someone who has just had a couple of days off.
When I used to work six days a week I found that, strangely, Sundays became more bearable. Mind you, having a job that you like is a major part of it.
 
Victory said:
This is the name given to the feelings of dread/apprehension/tension/sadness/anger on a Sunday, when one knows the weekend is drawing to a close and the working week will begin the next day.

For me it is very real, tends to kick in abut 6.30PM, when I know I have just the evening left to pursue my creative and social interests before becoming that automaton again at 8.30am.
My job offers little in terms of satisfaction or salary.

These feelings can manifest as an inability to concentrate, a confusion of what to do, and lethargy, which then ends up with me browsing online without plan and achieving little.

It can be worsened by friends phoning on a Sunday evening, when I want to still gain something out of the weekend in terms of achievement,
If the call goes on longer than 15 minutes I get very agitated, even with close friends, and might snap at them.

Bizarrely though, this does not happen if I meet them in person for a drink or a meal.

I have to counter these feelings by leaving my phone alone, and reading a book, or watching a film, or exercising, or writing
Something concrete.


Does anyone else here experience this?


(I appreciate that not everyone's working week begins on a Monday morning.)
Click to expand...
I can't believe that you would 'snap' at anyone V!

Can I ask if you have (or would have) the same feeling in Israel after Shabbat? Bearing in mind (for those who don't know) that the working week starts at sundown on Saturday afternoon/evening (depending on the time of year).

The reason I ask is that when you consider that it is very difficult (or impossible if religious) to do many things- go to a restaurant/use a train or bus/DIY/call friends on the phone etc etc it seemed (to me) to be a very joyous occasion and people looked forward to it.

However, these were the days before multiple channels on tv, smartphones and the internet, so perhaps people, even non-religious people, were more easily attuned to be able to survive the day. A bit like people on a British Sunday in the 1970s/80s - but with sunshine.

Of course there was always the beach if you wanted. That's a bit different to being stuck inside with only 'Ski Sunday' to watch.
 
Floyd1 said:
I'm not sure if I mentioned this recently, or was just thinking it, or maybe I was speaking to the local tramp- but, I think people who have two full weeks off at Christmas find it much more difficult and depressing to go back to work than someone who has just had a couple of days off.
When I used to work six days a week I found that, strangely, Sundays became more bearable. Mind you, having a job that you like is a major part of it.
Click to expand...
We had SO many people in complaining about having to go back to work after the two week Christmas break! Definitely none of that kind of problem for us. Although I did suffer some 'awww, do I HAVE to?' on Christmas night, knowing I had to get up early to go in on Boxing day.

And yes, I enjoy my job in the supermarket, but I prefer my writing gig and would happily never go in again if I was told I couldn't work. So it's not unalloyed bliss behind that kiosk...
 
catseye said:
We had SO many people in complaining about having to go back to work after the two week Christmas break! Definitely none of that kind of problem for us. Although I did suffer some 'awww, do I HAVE to?' on Christmas night, knowing I had to get up early to go in on Boxing day.

And yes, I enjoy my job in the supermarket, but I prefer my writing gig and would happily never go in again if I was told I couldn't work. So it's not unalloyed bliss behind that kiosk...
Click to expand...
Our local co-op, I mean Mcolls, I mean Morrisons daily- never shuts. I think they had Christmas day afternoon off at most. Mind you, when it's £10 grand for a loaf of bread you can't blame them for staying open all hours. Little gold mine.
 
I think there ought to be a more realistic work to life balance in the UK, the US too from what I hear. 4 to 5 working days a week is enough for anyone. Our world certainly seems to prioritise profit/economics over physical and emotional wellbeing. Anyone who fails to conform to this pattern or suffers stress because of it is generally considered (and considers oneself) a failure. I guess that's what they call a 'sick society'.
 
Victory said:
I often think that if I had a three day weekend, I would not get them, as I would stringently devote one day of it to creative interests.
Click to expand...
^this^ I have often thought about 3 days off vs 2. As others have mentioned, the extra day to actually wind down.

I do have the schedule in which I have regular 3 and 4 days off (I work 64 hours every week, but my days off vary). I find that 3 days does give me time to rush, rush to get things done that I don't during the week and then have an actual downtime day.

That day is just perfect for me. The 4 days is difficult to get back to work because I realize how much I enjoy not having a schedule forced on me.

When I had fewer work hours, but could pick up extra shifts, I also didn't mind it because I had the control of when I wanted to work. This wouldn't work for people who may need the security of knowing how many hours they have in a week.
 
I work from home but vividly remember this from my days at the (then) roughest comprehensive school in the county and later, from my time as a teacher. (Sunday evening feeling probably worse, if anything, when I taught than when I was a kid). Husband works a 4 day week of his craply paid, totally unsuitable job for a man in his 60s' job. On paper, he retires this year but we can't afford for him to fully retire. He is hating going to work more and more. Working from home means you don't get that dread but on the other hand, sometimes work sprawls over entire days, or starts up in the evening... so there is summat to be said for regular work.
 
Floyd1 said:
Our local co-op, I mean Mcolls, I mean Morrisons daily- never shuts. I think they had Christmas day afternoon off at most. Mind you, when it's £10 grand for a loaf of bread you can't blame them for staying open all hours. Little gold mine.
Click to expand...
Depends on the size of the shop and whether they have (contractually) to open to sell papers.

We are quite large. It was mooted that we may open Christmas Day (we are open every single other day of the year except Easter Sunday), and all the staff said 'bugger that, you won't get me in.' So, wisely, they decided to close.

But the first thing Boxing Day, and first thing New Year's Day shifts were....hard.
 
@Victory and @merricat You have captured something that made me wretched for many years, though I've loved every job I've had. Such a grief to me, looking back. Such a waste and such a loss of time. I don't think I can be coherent on it - I just want to say thank you and that I get it. :group:
 
catseye said:
I work shifts on a rota and can have anything from one day off to four days off in a row. Going back to work after one day off is absolutely fine, like I haven't got out of the 'swing' and routine. Going back after four days is really tough and I have to psyche myself up (even though I thoroughly enjoy my job). For me it seems to be linked to being able to do what I want. With one day off I don't get chance to do much, bit of housework, some writing, walk the dog and then it's bedtime and back to work. With four days off, I've spent at least two days lollygagging about, watching YouTube, reading stuff, browsing the internet - and it seems very much more difficult to tear myself away.

For those with Sunday Dread - do you still get it if you've had a really really busy weekend doing stuff that's maybe obligatory(cleaning, visiting relatives, shopping) rather than relaxing?
Click to expand...
Absolutely nothing to beat a lot of lollygagging about. but best done in the privacy of your own home.
 
I work a 3-day week, Tuesday to Thursday, and I just about get by.
Silly me, I spend most of my free days over a long weekend just messing about all over the Internet, reading books, etc.
I really must get my act together and do some stuff.
 
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