The Troll's Head

stu neville

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The dust covers are all off, the jukebox rejigged to accept bitcoin, the pool table re-napped and the pumps and optics all ready for action. The staff are these days robotic and will automatically respond, in order, to all of your requirements, but I will from time to time be behind the bar.

Ladies and Gentlemen - - the Troll's Head is open once more for business. Make yourselves at home.
 

Yithian

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*Wipes dust from body, staggers down from the attic with the mother of all hangovers*

Good God, I hurt. Where's Melf?
I'm pretty sure that he mixed my last drink about eight years ago.

Evenin', Stu.

(Good timing, incidentally. I'm actually somewhat sloshed have been entertaining new neighbours with a hideous mingling of lager, wine and rum.)
 

stu neville

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Evenin' Yith.

Melf was poached by a large Manc chain of theme boozers - don't blame him, pay was far better. The Scruttocks Faintly Peculiar is on special tonight...
 

Yithian

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Poached by the Mancs? *Grumble-grumble*

Yeah, Scruttocks wotsit, pint. And a pack of salt n' vinegar, Don't mind me by the jukebox.


You really need to scrape those overhead beams, they're positively furry.
 

stu neville

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The rest of the troll is unceremoniously, spontaneously combusted in a fireplace next to its own armchair. Doesn't even see it coming (mainly cos the head is already on the spike outside..)
 

stu neville

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Have to make tracks, chaps - the Robostaff will look after you. May be back later..
 

Doc

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*transmats in from multiverse+1, looking scourged and singed, a snarling hamster eyeing the bar from each pocket. Muttering "Jerry=Bianca, Bianca=Jerry, Rupert was a bear", shoves a walnut into each gaping hamster maw, approaches the bar and says "pint o'Bells please mate" ..
 

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Fortea Morgana :) PeteByrdie certificated Princess
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The rest of the troll is unceremoniously, spontaneously combusted in a fireplace next to its own armchair. Doesn't even see it coming (mainly cos the head is already on the spike outside..)
I don't believe you :creepy: I see sausage rolls on the bar snack menu........
 

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Fortea Morgana :) PeteByrdie certificated Princess
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*jumps in the cosiest chair by the fire* Mine
selects cosy human-sized hang on the radiator hammock cat bed...... looks around for radiator..... :cry:
 

Shady

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Im not cleaning that up, nope
 
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Fortea Morgana :) PeteByrdie certificated Princess
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beer is a very good shampoo but you need to rinse it thoroughly.
 

Rerenny

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Scene: Exterior: Night:
(distant sound of "lively" conversation...)
"in 'ere, 'sopen"
(sound of door creaking)
"yep, 'ere's fine...landy?!? pint of 'ur besy, good sire"
(sound of a body falling to the floor)
"'ur alright mate, we'll get her home, ur here permo? excellent! We'll be back on the morrow when she's rested!...come on angel, you go with the nice man in the stab vest, he'll get 'ur home...see you tomoz guys!!!!
(sound of a policeman carrying a happy wanderer home)

Yay, the pub's back!!!!!
 
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