The Whinge Thread, Resurrected

Shady

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Well my second phone is broke now, the first one is possessed by a deamon, this one, well, i cant call out, but i can text, so, a little later when the traffic has subsided i will nip to ASDA for another
 

Mythopoeika

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Well my second phone is broke now, the first one is possessed by a deamon, this one, well, i cant call out, but i can text, so, a little later when the traffic has subsided i will nip to ASDA for another
Try removing the battery, waiting, then putting it back in. Turn it off and on again.
 

titch

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A Message from Irish Cultural Centre Hammersmith :

Moya Brennan November Tour 2019 Cancelled
To all attendees of the Moya Brennan Concerts at the ICC, we regret to inform you that due to an unforeseen professional diary clash, Moya Brennan has had to cancel her solo November Tour.
I assume " unforeseen professional diary clash" means she can make more money somewhere else. Bollocks, i was really looking forward to it.
 

Yithian

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Is it now just accepted that children are allowed to watch YouTube and Netflix at the table in restaurants?

We let my daughter watch things for about 30-60mins in the afternoon/evening (winding down after she gets back), and she never asks for our phones when we are away from home, but today she pointed to five other families in the restautant whose children had headphones on and iPads going while their parents ignored them and chatted.

I refused to let her use my phone, but I don't want her to think that her father is an ogre. I told them that the other parents were 'wrong', but I heard my voice echoing back to me and cringed a little.

I can compromise a but, but I've met too many monosyllabic tantrum-prone beasts in the past few years. There's plenty of time for device-addiction in adulthood, isn't there?
 

EnolaGaia

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FWIW ... I'd suggest something along these lines ...

Explain to Miss Yith that time out in public eating (whatever; set your own scope ... ) is "we-time", in which all 3 of you are together and sharing an experience. If one person immerses herself in close-coupled connection to elsewhere she is leaving the "we-space" in which you are all supposed to be enjoying "we-time." It's analogous to walking away from someone's party or dinner, and it may well seem impolite or even rude.

If you (Yith) did the same thing Miss Yith wouldn't be able to talk with you and share the family "we time." How would that make Miss Yith feel?

A more extreme version would be to suggest the other parents allowed their children to toddle off into the aether because they (rather than the child) wanted to exclude the child from their own "we-time." How would it makes Miss Yith feel to be excluded like that?

The penultimate extreme version would be to suggest that excluding the child from parents' "we-time" in a public place meant they didn't value (or, if you really want to impact her - love ... ) their child. You and Mrs. Yith value / love Miss Yith, and you both wish for her to value sharing "we-time" with you just as you two value sharing "we time" with her.

The ultimate version, of course, would be to go full-tilt maternal guilt trip on her and ask whether she didn't respect (etc.) you and Mrs. Yith enough to spend time with you.

IMHO the point is to illustrate the distinction between being-with someone and being-around someone in such a manner as to also illustrate it makes a difference in your relationship(s) with others.
 

Yithian

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Miss Yith is fairly receptive to the idea that we don't always do things the way other families do things. She's also happy with explanations that involve Y is right for X but not for Z, so I'll persevere. We did reach acceptance that just because other kids were screen-locked, it didn't mean it was right for her--and she wasn't angry about it.

Along the lines you've suggested I've had a go at suggesting that meal times are the best time for us to talk about the day (ahead/passed) as we all have to be different places during the day. It feels a tiny bit manipulative, but I also said that perhaps other families arent interested in one another's days, and she says she is interested in what Mummy and Daddy are doing.

As far as I am concerned, people can raise their children how they see fit, but you won't persuade me that two parents on two phones and a child on a tablet is the way to conduct mealtimes.

It's a fine line between Nazi and deadbeat (that's the U.S. term, isn't it?).
 

EnolaGaia

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... It's a fine line between Nazi and deadbeat (that's the U.S. term, isn't it?).
I'm not sure "deadbeat" is the particular term you want. It generally means an idler / moocher / shirker-of-responsibilities.

Used in a parental context (overwhelmingly as "deadbeat dad") it denotes a father who's remiss in supporting his children - most specifically in terms of falling behind on mandated child support payments.
 

Yithian

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I'm not sure "deadbeat" is the particular term you want. It generally means an idler / moocher / shirker-of-responsibilities.

Used in a parental context (overwhelmingly as "deadbeat dad") it denotes a father who's remiss in supporting his children - most specifically in terms of falling behind on mandated child support payments.
Ah, we'll go with 'crap parent' then.
 

Swifty

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Miss Yith is fairly receptive to the idea that we don't always do things the way other families do things. She's also happy with explanations that involve Y is right for X but not for Z, so I'll persevere. We did reach acceptance that just because other kids were screen-locked, it didn't mean it was right for her--and she wasn't angry about it.

Along the lines you've suggested I've had a go at suggesting that meal times are the best time for us to talk about the day (ahead/passed) as we all have to be different places during the day. It feels a tiny bit manipulative, but I also said that perhaps other families arent interested in one another's days, and she says she is interested in what Mummy and Daddy are doing.

As far as I am concerned, people can raise their children how they see fit, but you won't persuade me that two parents on two phones and a child on a tablet is the way to conduct mealtimes.

It's a fine line between Nazi and deadbeat (that's the U.S. term, isn't it?).
Our Dad wouldn't allow us to watch TV during family dinner time. I'm still alive nowadays but have the added advantage of having good manners at a dinner table, something miss Yith is going to benefit from when she's an adult.
 

Yithian

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Our Dad wouldn't allow us to watch TV during family dinner time. I'm still alive nowadays but have the added advantage of having good manners at a dinner table, something miss Yith is going to benefit from when she's an adult.
We were allowed to eat on mini-tables in front of the TV on saturdays only. That was dad's cooking night and we'd usually have something we loved while watching The A-Team or the Dukes of Hazzard or somehing.
 

Ulalume

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Interesting...I don't think I've seen any children using such devices while out at restaurants. Certainly our kids have never asked to do so. I did have to set limits on screen time at home for the teen and now the youngest (who's 8). When youngest complained, I basically quoted him this
story. He agreed with the reasoning and was fine after that.
 

Yithian

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Interesting...I don't think I've seen any children using such devices while out at restaurants. Certainly our kids have never asked to do so. I did have to set limits on screen time at home for the teen and now the youngest (who's 8). When youngest complained, I basically quoted him this
story. He agreed with the reasoning and was fine after that.
Absolutely standard in East Asia and 'a thing' in the UK when I've been back.

Sadly.
 

Swifty

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We were allowed to eat on mini-tables in front of the TV on saturdays only. That was dad's cooking night and we'd usually have something we loved while watching The A-Team or the Dukes of Hazzard or somehing.
My Dad relaxed on the rules years later, probably around the same time those trays with bean bags were invented. I got the Mrs into those and we now only eat at the table on Christmas day .. I cook and she insists on playing a Christmas CD. :exor:
 

Lord Lucan

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Absolutely standard in East Asia and 'a thing' in the UK when I've been back.

Sadly.
I see it all the time, and it's not only the children. I was not long ago in a Michelin starred restaurant, therefore the meal wasn't cheap. At he table next to my wife and our friend who was dining with us were a young couple who spent the entire meal on their phones. They weren't seemingly enjoying their meal and photographing it to share, but merely (from what I could see) looking at Facebook and he was watching Youtube videos.
This however was not as bad as the multi generational family of 8, grandparents, parents and children we once saw at an upscale Chinese restaurant in Sydney where each person from the oldest to the youngest spent the entire meal engrossed on a device of some sort, either a games machine, a phone or a tablet. No discussion took place during the meal at all. My wife and I sat there and wondered what the purpose of them coming out as a family was when all they did was ignore each other as they concentrated on their own little worlds.
 

JamesWhitehead

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Sam Smith's brewery has banned customers from using phones and tablets inside their pubs. They insist it is as anti-social as smoking and folk should go outside to do it. Local tourist-trap, Sinclair's Oyster Bar. has a notice taped to the door-frame. I did not notice the bouncer escorting folk off the premises the other day. A quiet night. :p
 
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escargot

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Have felt bloody awful over the past few days, like the flu has returned. I know what it is, though: stress!
Not trying to scare you (honest) but people have died of heart attacks that've been mistaken for 'flu. This exact thing happened to Techy's father. He was 67 and a heavy smoker though.

If you're feeling fluey and suspect it's not really' flu, you might get some proper (not unqualified mollusc) medical advice.
 

GNC

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It's OK, I just had to get through Monday, and I've done it, and already feel better. Hope I don't have to go through that again, they can stuff their money if I do! Now I have to be concerned about a dying relative, but that's for tomorrow. I made it through today, so, yay?!

Edit: Oh, and thanks for the concern.
 
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