The World's Dumbest Criminals

maximus otter

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A gangster has gone three weeks without a bowel movement in an alleged attempt to stop police finding drugs he swallowed.

The man was arrested in Harlow, Essex, on January 17, and is charged with two counts of possessing Class A drugs with intent to supply. He is accused of swallowing a drugs stash, and is being kept in custody.



Officers have been tweeting updates of what they have described as "poo watch".

Police said they would continue to apply to court for custody extensions until the man goes for a poo.

#London gang nominal arrested for failing to stop for police and possession with intent to supply class A drugs, male doesn’t think we have the power to keep him until he removes said items from his bottom, #thinkagain #opraptor pic.twitter.com/oThvqtRrwc

— Op Raptor West (@OpRaptorWest) January 17, 2018


The unit said that Wednesday was day 21 "for our man on #poowatch", adding: "Still no movements/items to report, he will remain with us until Friday when we are back at court where we will be requesting a further eight days should he not produce anything before that hearing."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...llowing-drugs-goes-three-weeks-without-bowel/

maximus otter
Update: It's now 33 days!

When he finally unclenches there's going to be a mushroom cloud...

maximus otter
 

Shady

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Surely after a while you cant hold it in, isnt it natural, your body forces it out, and if he has them in his bowels wont the bags corrode or be squished by poo tightening around them then pop ??????
 
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if he has them in his bowels wont the bags corrode r be squished by poo tightening around them then pop ??????
I'm surprised there hasn't been medical intervention regarding just this possibility (or rather likelihood at this stage).
 

GNC

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Personal overshare here: when I had shingles, I didn't do a poo for over a week until I had to take a laxative, which did the trick. So what's stopping the authorities doing that to their prisoner? It's not as if he's hiding anything by now.
 

Bigphoot2

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I'm surprised there hasn't been medical intervention regarding just this possibility (or rather likelihood at this stage).
I'm wondering if he's trying some sort of scam - if there is medical intervention, he sues the authorities for violating his human rights. If there is no intervention and he suffers medical problems, he sues the authorities because they didn't intervene.
 

hunck

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I'm surprised he hasn't been slipped something by now to encourage matters. Don't they still have porridge in prison these days? That'd do the job.
 

Shady

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He's full a shit

I would think that, so long as they keep asking him if he is ok, and if wants a doctor and it is recorded then he cant sue
 
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EnolaGaia

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Always plan the getaway first ...

Suspects on the run scale fence, land in police lot, custody
Two shoplifting suspects running from police scaled a fence to get away from officers and landed in a secure parking lot of a police station — and in custody.

Officials tell KTAR-FM ... that officers were called to a gas station for possible shoplifting at 6 p.m. Friday. Authorities say as officers arrived, the suspects ... took off running.

The pair ran along the side of a building and jumped a fence, despite a sign for “Peoria Police” above the door. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/9e01d083d37b466d...-run-scale-fence,-land-in-police-lot,-custody
 

EnolaGaia

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... And if you don't attempt a getaway, at least remove any blatantly obvious evidence linking you to the crime ...

Man with red sauce on face charged with meatball theft
Police say a damning clue led to the arrest of a Pennsylvania man charged with stealing a pot of meatballs — red sauce smeared on his face and clothes.

Authorities in Luzerne County have charged 48-year-old Leahman Glenn Robert Potter with burglary, criminal trespass and theft by unlawful taking for allegedly swiping a pot of meatballs from a man’s garage on Monday.

Police say the victim reported his meatballs missing and told officers at around 2:30 p.m. Monday that he saw Potter standing in front of his house with red sauce on his face and clothes. The pot was found on the street. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/feeb7a17db0343a7...red-sauce-on-face-charged-with-meatball-theft

 

maximus otter

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I have just lost all respect for the Republic of Ireland:

Lidl supermarket destroyed 'by looters' after snow storm.

Police in Dublin said on Friday they had made several arrests after an attack on a supermarket hours after the city was hit with its worst snowstorm in decades.

The Lidl supermarket had been looted, according to several Irish media outlets, but police and the owner of the supermarket declined to provide details of the incident.

State broadcaster RTE showed video footage from social media of a mechanical digger pulling down part of a wall of the supermarket.

Another video, posted online by the Irish Independent newspaper, showed people walking away from the back of the store with what appeared to be items from the store
.”

Leaving aside questions of law and morality, you had the means and opportunity to loot an entire store and you chose Lidl?

maximus otter


 
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I have just lost all respect for the Republic of Ireland:

Lidl supermarket destroyed 'by looters' after snow storm.

Police in Dublin said on Friday they had made several arrests after an attack on a supermarket hours after the city was hit with its worst snowstorm in decades.

The Lidl supermarket had been looted, according to several Irish media outlets, but police and the owner of the supermarket declined to provide details of the incident.

State broadcaster RTE showed video footage from social media of a mechanical digger pulling down part of a wall of the supermarket.

Another video, posted online by the Irish Independent newspaper, showed people walking away from the back of the store with what appeared to be items from the store.”

Leaving aside questions of law and morality, you had the means and opportunity to loot an entire store and you chose Lidl?

maximus otter

Local small time crooks with low cunning stole a JCB and broke into thr LID, they were after the safe. They then hung around trying unsuccessfully to open said safe and were arrested. It looks as if some others took advantage of the situation to grab some more accessible goodies.

It was overhyped with even pics and a vid of another LIDL store from 2016 actually onfire!
 

hunck

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The 'poo watch' man has been taken to hospital after 47 days of no-go

He has been released on bail and was taken by police car, in company with a medical professional, to hospital for treatment.

Deputy Chief Constable Ben-Julian Harrington took the decision to release Chambers from custody.

"On the basis of all the medical evidence in this case it is most appropriate, both in the interests of Mr Chambers and of justice, to ensure he receives the hospital treatment he needs," he said.
The report says

The Crown Prosecution Service discontinued charges of intent to supply a Class A drug and driving matters, but Chambers was rearrested by Essex Police on suspicion of being concerned in the supply of a Class A drug.
I'm assuming this charge still applies after the hospital visit. Someone will be along soon to tell us whether 47 days is a record.
 

Min Bannister

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That sounds very risky. I hope they didn't have to go over many bumps. :sstorm:

Also, a strange set of photos. Almost everything pixillated out apart from the police car. What was the point?
 

Bigphoot2

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EnolaGaia

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I guess it'll only be a world record if he survives.
Nope - it won't be a world record ...

"The world record for constipation was held by a man who resisted the temptation of the toilet for 368 days. He was said to become weak after delivering 36 litres of faeces on June 21, 1901, but there was much rejoicing in the family."
Gastrointestinal Function in Diabetes Mellitus
edited by Michael Horowitz, Melvin Samsom, Wiley, 2004, p. 230.

Here's a citation and link to the medical article describing this incident ...

Unprecedented Case of Constipation
D. Geib and J. D. Jones

Journal of the American Medical Association, Vol. 38, Issues 19 - 26, p. 1305

https://books.google.com/books?id=X...Q6AEIKzAB#v=onepage&q=geib jones 1902&f=false
 
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