The World's Dumbest Criminals

[Mighty_Emperor]

Burglar delivers himself to house in box

Tue Jan 6, 5:22 PM ET

BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - A young Colombian thief hid in a parcel delivered to a wealthy home but his planned burglary went wrong when suspicious security guards called in bomb disposal experts, police say.

Guards at the condominium in the city of Medellin feared the strange, heavy package dropped off by a private vehicle could explode and phoned for help in Monday's incident, a police spokesman said on Tuesday.

Police got a shock when a hand holding a knife punched through the cardboard as the panicked thief shouted he could not breathe.

Police unpacked the parcel to find the gasping 24-year-old criminal, together with a gun, ropes and a ski mask.

The house's owners fired their maid, to whom the box had been addressed, police said, although she has not been charged with being an accomplice.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tm...&u=/nm/20040106/od_uk_nm/oukoe_crime_colombia

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Wheelchair On Highway Brings Public Drunkenness Charge

Police Say Disabled Man Had Open Beer Can, Open Whiskey Bottle With Him

POSTED: 1:24 p.m. EST January 7, 2004
UPDATED: 1:30 p.m. EST January 7, 2004

KUTZTOWN, Pa. -- A disabled Pennsylvania man has pleaded guilty to public drunkenness and disorderly conduct for being drunk on the highway -- in a motorized wheelchair.

Police in Kutztown say James Rudd had an open can of beer and an open whiskey bottle with him as he drove down the center of a road near the city's airport in September.

Officials say other vehicles were passing Rudd in each direction.

Police charged Rudd with drunken driving, even though a blood-alcohol test was not administered.

Prosecutors withdrew that charge Tuesday. A prosecutor said Pennsylvania's drunken-driving law doesn't apply to a disabled person who needs a motorized wheelchair to get around.

Rudd was ordered to pay 0 in fines. Authorities did not say how fast he'd been going.

http://www.wftv.com/newsofthestrange/2747511/detail.html

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Local surgeon accused of punching cab driver, stealing taxi

ARRESTED: Dr. Bret Mason faces charges of assault, vehicle theft, DWI in bizarre incident.


By NICOLE TSONG
Anchorage Daily News

(Published: January 8, 2004)


Bret L. Mason


A local surgeon punched a taxi driver repeatedly Tuesday night after the driver told him to stop spitting in his cab, then stole the cab and promptly wrecked it in a snowbank, Anchorage police said.

Dr. Bret L. Mason, 46, an osteopathic physician, was charged Tuesday with first-degree vehicle theft, fourth-degree assault, drunken driving and resisting arrest. Van E. LaMore, a physician's assistant who police say was with him in a local restaurant and then in the cab, was charged with fourth-degree assault.

Mason was taken to the Anchorage Jail Tuesday night. Jail officials said he posted a ,000 bond on a credit card Wednesday morning. LaMore was released Tuesday night.

Mason could not be reached for comment Wednesday. LaMore, reached by telephone at Mason's DeBarr Road office, said he was confused about much of what was going on between Mason and the driver in the front seat of the cab, but he said he was not involved in any assault.

"I was in the wrong seat at the wrong time," LaMore said.

According to police, the Anchorage Yellow Cab driver said he picked up Mason and LaMore at Gallo's Mexican Restaurant at 8311 Arctic Blvd. around 11:30 p.m. Police said the two asked him to drive them to the Bush Company on International Airport Road.

During the ride, Mason, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, spat on the cab floor, police said. The driver asked him to stop. When Mason did it again, the driver pulled over near the intersection of 58th Avenue and Arctic Boulevard and said he wouldn't drive Mason anymore.

Mason punched the driver several times and LaMore, who was in the back seat, grabbed the driver from behind, police said. The driver told police that while he was defending himself and trying to call for help on the radio, Mason grabbed the steering wheel and shifted the car into drive. The driver slammed on the brakes.

Police said Mason continued punching the driver, and the driver got out of the cab. Mason tried to speed away on 58th Avenue, but he spun the cab out of control and slammed into a snow bank.

By then, cab dispatch had called police.

Mason struggled as officers tried to take him into custody, police said, and he spat repeatedly on the floor of a patrol car.

LaMore said that he and Mason had a couple of drinks at dinner, but said he didn't know where the doctor told the cab driver to go. He said he sat in the back seat and Mason was in front. He denied the cab driver's report that he held him while the doctor punched him.

"I wouldn't hold that guy," LaMore said.

"I basically just wondered what the hell was happening," LaMore said. It looked like Mason and the driver were goofing around, he said.

"Before I knew it, the guy was out of the car. I'm like, 'Geez, this is weird.' "

He wouldn't comment on what happened after the cab driver got out.

Efforts to reach the cab driver were unsuccessful.

LaMore said the doctor's office was open Wednesday, but Mason was not in the office. Mason, who practices at 2751 DeBarr Road, Suite 300, advertises himself as a certified orthopedic surgeon.

According to the state Division of Occupational Licensing, Mason is a physician in good standing who has been licensed since 1991.

Medical board files show Mason has no disciplinary record.

http://www.adn.com/front/story/4592383p-4562245c.html

 

[OneWingedBird]

http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID==/20040109/NEWS03/101090

Man in drag leads police on bizarre chase

By ROBIN ERB
BLADE STAFF WRITER

Note to criminals: The worst, absolutely worst, place to flee from police officers is to police headquarters at shift change while dressed in drag.

A Toledo man was arraigned yesterday in Toledo Municipal Court after a routine traffic stop set off a bizarre police pursuit in which the driver at times drove several miles under the speed limit, made a U-turn in front of crews, and twice left the city limits out of reach of trailing police, only to return again.

"We joked at one time that we probably could stop and get a cup of coffee, pick this [chase] up again later, and still catch up with him," Toledo police Officer Rick Fisher said.

The incident began shortly after 10 p.m. Wednesday when Officer Fisher and his partner, Paul Toth, noticed a Ford Taurus weaving in East Toledo.

Stopped by the crew, the driver simply responded, "I am not going to jail. You will have to kill me first."

"Then he just threw it in drive and took off," Officer Fisher said.

The description of the suspect: wearing women¹s clothing, high-heeled shoes, and a wig.

For the next 45 minutes, the Taurus wound through the streets of Toledo, onto I-75 into Northwood, back onto I-75, then onto I-475 into Sylvania Township where it continued on the xpressway, eventually circling back into Toledo 23 minutes later.

Finally, with at least two cars on his tail and several other jurisdictions monitoring the situation, the driver of the Taurus turned toward 525 North Erie St. - an extraordinarily bad place and time, as it turned out.

That¹s the Safety Building, police headquarters. And it was shift change.

Suddenly surrounded by officers spilling out onto the streets for the night, the driver of the Taurus slowed, allowing officers to break his car¹s windows, unlock its doors, and put it in park.

The driver, identified as Sandy Long, 55, of 2123 Momany St., Oregon, was charged with fleeing and eluding, failing to comply with police orders, and several traffic violations. He was being held last night in the Lucas County Jail in lieu of $10,000 bond - a far different outcome than the officers had first envisioned.

"We would have ... given him a summons for a court date," Officer Fisher said. "He never would have been booked into jail."


Perhaps he drove through the Oregon Vortex and became disoriented...

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Clucking silly!!

Great disguise:

Armed Robber Disguises Self As Chicken

Robber Leaves With Undetermined Amount Of Cash

POSTED: 8:20 AM CST January 7, 2004
UPDATED: 12:47 PM CST January 7, 2004

COLUMBUS -- A man wearing a chicken suit robbed a Kroger grocery store last week in Columbus, Ohio.

Police said a white man wearing a mask and bright yellow chicken suit with orange chicken feet entered the Kroger at 5800 West Broad Street at about 11:30 p.m. Friday. The robber showed employees a gun and demanded cash from the store's safe.

A store surveillance camera captured the robbery on tape.

"It's pretty extraordinary," Columbus police Sgt. Shaun Laird said. "We've never had something like this. We've had guys wear fake mustaches now and again, but nothing like this."

The robber was not caught, even after he left the store in costume.

"The person either has access to some type of chicken costume or owns a chicken suit," Laird said. "So, if you know of someone, please call the robbery squad."

The robber faces several charges, including robbery, aggravated menacing and intimidation.

Police said they can't make a connection between the Kroger robbery and one in Delaware in December when a man wearing a Santa costume robbed a Wendy's fast-food restaurant. The Santa robber also may have hit a north-side grocery store.

http://www.nbc5.com/news/2746588/detail.html

There is also a slideshow of images form the security camera on that page and it is worth seeing!!

Emps

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Deserves to be in here rather than Starnge Deaths (probably):

Teen Dies After Alleged Joyride On Top Of Stolen Van

Fri Jan 9, 9:54 AM ET



Julie Ann Grogan and three other Jacksonville teenagers, were joyriding Monday in a van that authorities believe they stole from a home in Jacksonville.

A 16-year-old boy was driving the van, which held a 14-year-old passenger while Grogan and another teen rode on the roof on some roads aroudn Middleburg. Police said Grogan was thrown off the vehicle on Cinnamon Street, hitting her head.

The other teens apparently drove around with an unconscious Grogan for about 20 minutes before calling for help, Clay County Sheriff's Office spokesperson Mary Justino said.

Grogan was flown by helicopter to Shands Jacksonville, but died from her injuries the next day

Jacksonville police have charged the teens with burglary, but no charges have been filed related to Grogan's death. Justino said officials are waiting for a full traffic homicide report, which could take up to a month.

"They used very poor judgment," Justino said. "Instead of calling 911 immediately, they tried to save themselves instead of their friend."

Investigators don't currently believe the delay caused the girl's death, Justino said.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=422&ncid=422&e=2&u=/ibsys/20040109/lo_wjxt/1949260

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Now where shall I hide these two snakes? I know:

Gibbstown man charged with stealing snakes

Sunday, January 11, 2004

By TOM LOUNSBERRY
Courier-Post Staff
GREENWICH


A Gibbstown man's attempt to shoplift a couple of exotic creatures from a pet store proved to be a painful mistake, police said.

One of two tiger python snakes he stole and slipped into the pockets of his canvas pants bit him in his scrotum as he drove away from the store.

The snake wasn't poisonous, and the 20-year-old man, whom police did not identify, declined to go to a hospital, police said.

The snakes, stolen from the Animal Trax pet store in the Malaga section of Franklin Township, were found in his home Wednesday by police who were there to question him.

The man, who lives on Washington Street, was charged with receiving stolen property (the snakes) and released on his own recognizance. Theft charges against him by Franklin Township Police were anticipated.

Police also found two iguanas, a corn snake, and several lizards and frogs.

The man told police he had rigged canvas bags to the pockets of his slacks to conceal the snakes. As he was returning home, one of the snakes got out of the bag and wrapped itself around his leg and began to squeeze it before biting him, said Greenwich Township Detective Sgt. Joseph M. Giordano Jr.

Police had gone to his home because he had bought an iguana from the store on the same day that the snakes were stolen. He was not home when police arrived, but a female friend let officers into the home, where they recovered the snakes.

http://www.southjerseynews.com/issues/january/m011104m.htm

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Another brilliant disguise:

Police Foil Bank Robbery by Drunk 'Dracula'

Thu January 8, 2004 07:11 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police said Thursday they had arrested a would-be vampire robber ready to scare bank staff with his false Dracula teeth.

The man, also wearing a woolen hat and sunglasses, pulled out what looked like a gun and pointed it at passing police officers who had asked him to stop as he approached a bank.

"The two officers managed to overpower him and found it was a toy weapon," police in the northern city of Bremen said in a statement. "The suspect lost his plastic teeth in the scuffle. He was extremely drunk."

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=4092967

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

I'm not sure if this guy is a criminal or quite mad:

A Truly, Truly Bizarre Story

Mon January 12, 2004 10:19 AM ET

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police are investigating after an angry man returned a computer he had just bought saying it was packed with small potatoes instead of computer parts.

The store replaced the computer free of charge but became suspicious when he returned a short time later with another potato-filled computer casing, police in the western city of Kaiserslautern said Monday.

"The second time he said he didn't need a computer any more and asked for his money back in cash," a police spokesman said.

Police are now investigating the man for fraud.

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=4111495

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Car Thieves Call Police for Help

Mon January 12, 2004 10:02 AM ET

COPENHAGEN (Reuters) - Two Danish car thieves called police for help when they realized the angry victim of their latest crime was in hot pursuit in another car.

The car's owner decided to chase the men after witnessing the theft from his home in northern Denmark, the local daily Berlingske Tidende said Monday.

The hapless thieves, aged 19 and 21, called the police to report themselves and asked to be picked up at a nearby road, the newspaper said.

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=4111344

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Never ever upset a dentist

Thats all you need an angry dentist (and one who has the wrong end of the stick too).

Dentist faces battery charges for ripping cap from patient

Sunday, January 11, 2004

By Dan Lavoie

Special to The Star

An Oak Lawn dentist is facing two counts of misdemeanor battery for allegedly ripping a tooth cap out of a female patient's mouth because he thought she owed him money, police reports say.

Dr. Leon Gombis, 64, of Palos Heights is accused of holding down the woman, a Homewood resident, to forcibly remove a permanent cap from her mouth Dec. 16.

Oak Lawn police officially filed charges Friday against Gombis.

Gombis, moments after implanting the cap, misread his account records and thought the woman, who is 58, owed him 0 for previous dental work, the report states.

Gombis then reached back into the woman's mouth with pliers and yanked out the cap, she said.

After an assistant told Gombis that the woman was paid up, the dentist forced the cap back into his patient's mouth and stormed out of the room, the police report says.

The woman said she was bleeding so much she spent the evening in a hospital emergency room after reporting the incident at the Oak Lawn police station.

Gombis, who practices out of the Oak Lawn Dental Lab office at 9101 Cicero Ave., has held an Illinois dental license for more than 40 years, records show. He has never had any disciplinary action against him.

Reached at his home, Gombis said police told him the charges likely would be dismissed.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said. "It's a non-incident. It's just nothing."

Oak Lawn Division Chief Mike Spellman said he doubted any police officer told Gombis the charges would be dropped.

"We can't file charges unless we think there's probable cause a crime was committed," he said.

The woman and her husband said they had been willing to drop the charges if Gombis' dental office had written them a letter of apology.

The woman said her mouth still hurt too much to talk for a long period of time.

Gombis is active in local and national Christian missionary communities.

He teaches adult religion classes at the Grace Fellowship Church in Oak Forest. He also sits on the boards of directors for Project MedSend, which helps send health care workers to needy countries, and SIM USA, which sends Christian missionaries to Africa, Asia and South America.

If a state review board thinks the charges against Gombis have merit, the dentist could have his license suspended or put on probation, said Neal Draznin, dental prosecutor for the Illinois Department of Public Regulation.

"I can't think of a case I've seen where a dentist pulled work from a patient's mouth because they thought the work wasn't paid for," said Draznin, who has overseen more than 200 disciplinary cases against dentists since 2000.

"That, quite frankly, is a new one for me," he said.

In addition to the license suspension, the state licensing department also could fine Gombis up to ,000 and order him to attend anger management classes, Draznin said.

"It would probably be some mix of those things," he said.

http://www.starnewspapers.com/star/spnews/pal/11-pal2.htm

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Camera thieves make mugs of themselves

Wed 14 January, 2004 02:37

BEIJING (Reuters) - Two Chinese thieves captured more than they had bargained for when they took pictures of each other with stolen digital cameras, the China Daily newspaper says.

They were both arrested when trying to sell the cameras to passers by in eastern Changzhou city on Tuesday, arousing suspicions of the police.

"Having stolen some cash and three digital cameras, they were so excited that they took photos of each other," the newspaper said on Wednesday.

"Neither of them knew how to delete the stored pictures."

http://www.reuters.co.uk/newsArticle.jhtml?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=4122226&section=news

 

[Anonymous]

Six degrees of separation alert: I've frequented this very (good) restaurant....

HOUSTON -- A man who is suspected of breaking into a southwest Houston restaurant through its chimney was placed behind bars Thursday morning.

Police said instead of using the restaurant's front doors, Michael Arlington, 21, went to the roof of the Rotisserie Beef and Bird Restaurant in the 2200 block of Wilcrest at Olympia around 12:30 a.m. and attempted to slide down the chimney to enter the building.

After Arlington became stuck in the restaurant's chimney, he used his cell phone to call a friend for help. The man's friend reportedly broke a window to enter the building, causing an alarm to go off.

The owner arrived before officials responded.
"He got stuck in the chimney and he called his friend. The friend broke into a window. He came in and said, 'I can't help you. You are going to have to call the police.' Then he ran away," restaurant owner Joe Mannke said.

Mannke said the man pleaded with him for help.

"When I drove up here, I heard, 'I'm not armed. Please help me. Get me out of here. I'm not armed. I know I've got to go to jail. I don't mind serving time, but just get me out of here,'" Mannke said.

Arlington told officials he had been drinking with a friend and decided to scale the wall and enter the restaurant through the chimney's opening.

Police showed up, rescued Arlington from the chimney and arrested him.

Officials said the 21-year-old man has a past record, and now faces a burglary of a building felony charge.

The owner said it has been close to 25 years since the chimney had been cleaned.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/2767011/detail.html

 

[naitaka]

Albertan drives 3,500 km to Ontario in stolen tractor
Four provinces, nine days: 'The Mounties said, you're kidding, right?'

http://www.canada.com/national/nationalpost/news/story.html?id=868b4751-f322-4ec3-94a2-1ab006a6201c


FERNLEIGH, ONT: Paul Douglas Bryer, longing for his family during the holidays, quit his dead-end job in Alberta, climbed aboard a stolen farm tractor and headed for home.

He drove the fire-engine red vehicle -- with its four-way flashers blinking and reaching a maximum speed of 45 km-h -- along the Trans-Canada Highway for nine days, travelling 3,585 kilometres to this village, 200 km west of Ottawa.

Mr. Bryer, a 36-year-old father of two young children, was pulled over by police eight times, hospitalized for an infected foot, fell asleep at the wheel twice and was afforded an RCMP escort for a 500-km stretch.

He started crawling along the side of the highway in Evansburg, Alta., at 8 p.m. on Jan. 2, and pulled into his family's yard around noon on Jan. 11.

Still sore from the trip, Mr. Bryer was arrested yesterday by the Ontario Provincial Police on charges he stole a 2003 International farm tractor worth $100,000.

On Jan. 2, Mr. Bryer quit his job as a security guard and decided to drive "my tractor home." The little sleep he had along the way was uncomfortable at best, as he tried to doze off in a crouching position in the heated cab of the tractor, parked on the side of the road.

He drove slowly for so many hours that he started hallucinating.

"After a while, I started seeing trees waving at me and the rock piles were jumping out at me. I just kept on going and going and going," he said last night from his living room.

The first time he was pulled over was 50 km outside of Edmonton. "The Mounties just asked me where I was going and when I told them, they said, 'You're kidding, right?' I told them that if I say I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it. They checked out my papers and sent me on my way. They couldn't believe I was doing this."

He would be pulled over another seven times across four provinces.

He said he was afforded an RCMP escort about 500 km west of the Manitoba border. Once he reached Manitoba, he said, the Mounties let him drive by night so long as he kept his four-way flashers on and his front and back lights.

From the cab of the tractor, Mr. Bryer found himself singing along to country songs over the radio. "I must have had to switch stations at least 30 times. The cab's got a six-disc CD player but I didn't have any CDs so I just listened to the radio.

"I must have been passed thousands of times. The truckers were calling me Night Crawler. It's hard to describe what it was like. You'd have to do it yourself. I can say that I thought about a lot in the cab. It was a beautiful trip; there was lots to see. Except up in Northern Ontario, there wasn't much to see, mostly just logging roads," he recalled.

In all, he spent $1,500 on diesel fuel and has a pile of credit card receipts accounting for everything else, from fast-food at gas stations to a repair bill for frozen hydraulic lines.

His mother, Gail Bryer, said: "We've got an empty shed [OPP seized the tractor] and credit card debt."

When her son first climbed into the cab, he accidentally cut his right foot on the step ladder. By the time he reached Thunder Bay, his foot became infected and he parked the tractor and admitted himself to hospital.

"They pumped me up with antibiotics and when I got out, the tractor was still there by the Petro Canada parking lot," he said.

Once during the trip, his family said, the Mounties called them to confirm his story. They confirmed it, and the RCMP waved him on.

Mr. Bryer intends to fight the charges, saying "by rights" he owns the tractor and, therefore, never stole it. Mr. Bryer says he stored another tractor in a friend's barn in Alberta. The barn burned to the ground, and he alleges his friend claimed his tractor in an insurance claim. "The tractor I rode home is the replacement tractor and it's mine. The police took it away from me. I was going to use it to get wood for my family," he said.

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Fort Smith : Man tells police robbers took meth stash, money

BY DAVE HUGHES

Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004

FORT SMITH — David John Lawson was out for justice, even if it meant he would have to face it himself.

Lawson, 30, of Fort Smith called police around 10:30 p.m. Sunday to report that two men he knew had just robbed him of his money and 4 to 5 grams of methamphetamine.

Lawson identified the robbers, and they were caught and charged. But Lawson was arrested, as well, when responding police officers found hypodermic needles and a set of digital scales in plain view in the motel room where Lawson was living.

Lawson pleaded innocent Wednesday in Sebastian County Circuit Court to felony charges of possession of drug paraphernalia and second-degree forgery. Prosecutors also want him declared a habitual criminal, which would allow a judge to give Lawson more jail time if he is convicted.

A public defender was appointed during Wednesday’s arraignment to represent Lawson, who was being held in the Sebastian County jail on ,000 bond.

According to the arrest report, Lawson was candid with officers who came to investigate the robbery. He showed them the bag he said contained the methamphetamine that was stolen and even volunteered that he had passed forged checks in Fort Smith and Van Buren. "While talking to Mr. Lawson about this robbery, he told me that he should also tell me about some checks that he had been passing in his name that were from a company he used to work for," a report by Fort Smith detective Adam Holland said.

Lawson told police he had purchased blank checks at a local office supply store and typed company information on the checks to make them appear to be payroll checks. Officers recovered the typewriter from the motel room.

Reports allege that Lawson passed at least 15 checks totaling nearly ,000 in Van Buren and Fort Smith from Jan. 2-9.

Regarding the robbery, Lawson told investigators that Donald Bowers, 34, and William Harris, 23, both of Fort Smith, came to his room to buy drugs. Once inside, Bowers pulled a pistol on Lawson and demanded the drugs and his money, Lawson told police.

A probable-cause affidavit showed Bowers told investigators he robbed Lawson because he was angry that Lawson caused him to be arrested last week.

Bowers and Harris tied up Lawson and left with the drugs and the cash, police said. Lawson freed himself and called police.

Officers set up surveillance at Bowers’ home and arrested him and Harris when they drove up later that night.

Bowers told officers he hid the drugs and gun under a barrel at his mother’s home in Arkoma, Okla.

Bowers and Harris pleaded innocent to aggravated robbery charges Wednesday in Circuit Court.

A public defender was appointed to represent them. Both were being held in the county jail on ,000 bond.

http://www.nwanews.com/adg/story_arkansas.php?storyid=53101

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

From the front page:

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Streakers in restaurant watch as their car is stolen

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SPOKANE -- Three men streaking through the warmth of a Denny's restaurant were chilled and chagrined when they spotted a thief driving away in their getaway car, their clothing inside.

Naked in the 20-degree weather, the three young men huddled behind cars in an adjacent parking lot until police arrived.

"I don't think they were hiding. I think they were just concealing themselves," police spokesman Dick Cottam said.

The trio, wearing only shoes and hats, entered the restaurant in north Spokane at about 5 a.m. Wednesday. They left their car running outside so they could make a quick exit.

But a man eating inside the restaurant saw the running vehicle and stole it, along with the streakers' clothes, Cottam said.

The streakers watched through the windows as their car drove away, Cottam said. They ran outside but could not catch it.

Cottam did not name the victim of the car theft, but said he was 21. He did not have the names or ages of the other two streakers, who were not arrested.

"I think it was just three kids who decided to fool around," Cottam said.

"We always tell people to not leave their car running," he added.

Restaurant manager Ryan Swennumson called the incident "funny," but declined further comment.

Information from: The Spokesman-Review

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/156761_streakersww15.html

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

January 14, 2004, 11:21 AM EST

Bad Spelling Leads Fla. Cops to Suspect

By Associated Press




GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- A suspect in a series of bank robberies was done in by his own bad spelling, police said.

Robert C. Whitney's consistently confused the words "dye" and "die" in robbery notes given to bank tellers, police said.

A note used in the Gainesville robbery read "If a die pack blows, so do you," said police Sgt. Keith Kameg.

The same wording had been used on notes in two Volusia County robberies, he said.

"If anything says education is important to your future, this case says that," Kameg said. "As simple as spelling one word wrong was instrumental in solving three bank robberies."

Whitney, 39, was arrested in Leon County last week, and was also wanted in Hillsborough County. Gainesville police issued a warrant on Tuesday.

It could not immediately be determined whether Whitney had an attorney.

http://www.mcall.com/news/nationwor...18755.story?coll=sns-ap-nationworld-headlines

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

A salty uproar: Woman accused of licking shakers

Published on Thursday, January 15


By Susan C. Nicol
News-Post Staff



FREDERICK -- A woman arrested Tuesday night after licking the tops of salt and pepper shakers and snorting sugar at a local steak house is now dining behind bars.

Frederick County Circuit Court Judge W. Milnor Roberts ordered that Deann J. Leizear, 36, of Samson, Ala., be held in the Frederick County Adult Detention Center in lieu of ,000 bail.

Employees at Lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon called police after they were unsuccessful in getting Ms. Leizear to leave after causing a commotion, said Assistant State's Attorney Jennifer Lichtenfeld.

In addition to licking the tops of salt and pepper shakers, the woman also reportedly snorted sugar and ate napkins, Ms. Lichtenfeld said, reading from a police report.

The manager, who claimed Ms. Leizear also walked off with two sets of silverware, reportedly offered to call the woman a cab. But she declined.

When deputies arrived about 9:40 p.m., she emerged from the men's room and refused to leave the restaurant.

She then started swinging her arm toward Deputy Greg Warner, and attempted to bite and kick him. She was sprayed with pepper spray when she refused to comply and continued struggling, reports indicated.

After an examination at Frederick Memorial Hospital, she was taken to the Frederick County Adult Detention Center.

She was charged with second-degree assault, disorderly conduct, disturbing the peace and resisting arrest.

Ms. Leizear asked Judge Roberts to lower her bail, saying: "I have to help my 15-year-old daughter."

But Judge Roberts answered almost instantly that her bail was staying the same, and she was excused.

http://www.fredericknewspost.com/sections/display.htm?storyid=32075

Requires registration (but I enjoyed this one so much I regsitered just to get the full story ).

Emps

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

This seems to happen more often than you'd think - what was she thinking that she could get a bit of cash and then say she was fine again??

Sympathy scam lands woman in jail

Associated Press


Urbana, Ohio — A woman who accepted ,400 (U.S.) in donations after shaving her head and dyeing her skin to make it look like she had cancer has been sentenced to three days in jail and three years of probation.

Katrina Combs' ruse went on for about three years before a co-worker raised concerns to police, said Mindy Baily, Ms. Combs' former boss at a nursing facility.

“We had a community-wide chili supper in 2001, and we were having bake sales every week and giving her the proceeds,” Ms. Bailey said.

Ms. Combs, 31, said she felt she couldn't come clean after taking the money.

“I only took money once, and after that, I felt like I couldn't tell them,” Ms. Combs said at her sentencing. “I used the money for bills, but I never bought anything for myself or my family.”

Under her sentence, she must return the donations, pay a 0 fine and also serve 400 hours of community service.

In a similar case in the same small central Ohio town, a woman pleaded guilty in August to theft and endangering a child for receiving ,000 in donations after she shaved her daughter's hair and gave her sleeping pills to make it appear that the girl was receiving chemotherapy.

Teresa Milbrandt was sentenced to 61/2 years in prison. Her husband, Robert Milbrandt, received four years and 11 months, though he didn't admit a role in the hoax.

Urbana, a town 80 kilometres east of Columbus, has about 11,500 residents.

http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040117.wshav0117/BNStory/Front/

Emps

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Surely there were better ways to do this - cat burglary was obviously out of the question I suppose but.........

Man Assaults Girl, Steals Puppy

Mother Says Daughter Is Emotionally Damaged

POSTED: 7:33 PM EST January 15, 2004
UPDATED: 7:32 AM EST January 16, 2004

Police are asking witnesses to come forward after a man reportedly assaulted a 7-year-old girl and stole her puppy.
Video



Sherry Taylor and her 7-year-old daughter, Cynthia (pictured, below), took two puppies to an Outback Steakhouse on 12 Mile Road and Gratiot Avenue in Roseville to meet a man who was interested in buying one of the dogs, Local 4 reported.

The Taylor family breeds English Bulldogs, which typically sell for a price of ,000 to ,000, according to Local 4 reports.

Taylor said when they encountered the man in the parking lot of the restaurant, he approached her daughter, pushed the girl to the ground and took off with her puppy, named Fats.

"He took the puppy, but he assaulted my child in the process," said Taylor.

Taylor said after the fall, Cynthia's chest was bothering her, but she has since recovered physically. Her mother is now worried about the child's emotional damage from the incident, the station reported.

"I'm angry because he hurt my child. My kid is having nightmares now," said Taylor.

Fats (pictured, right) is described as a 10-week-old English Bulldog with one side of his face white, the other side tan. He has an oval mark on the top of his head and a red-colored blister in one of his eyes, according to the family.

Cynthia told Local 4 she misses taking naps with her puppy.

"I put him on my pillow and I go to sleep with him," the girl said.

Police are asking anyone who may have witnessed the incident or who has seen the puppy to contact the Roseville Police Department at (586) 775-2100.

http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/2769132/detail.html

Report has lots of pictures and a video.

Emps

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

I know I shouldn't give advice to undesirables but if you are going to commit some pretty serious crimes its probably best not to tape them.

Tapes show torture of prostitutes

Last Updated Sat, 17 Jan 2004 12:10:55

VANCOUVER - Vancouver police have charged a man after seizing several videotapes showing violent assaults on as many as 50 women.

Most of the women are thought to be sex-trade workers, said acting police Insp. Tom McCluskie. About a third of them shown on the tapes have been identified and have spoken with police.

The investigation began Dec. 2 after a woman, later identified as a sex-trade worker, was heard screaming in a park. "She was obviously in distress," said Const. Sarah Bloor.

Police called to the scene arrested a man and seized a bag containing a video camera and tape.

Officers later found more tapes, including some showing child pornography, after searching a home and car.

The "extreme violence" of the images is having a "huge emotional impact" on investigators, said Const. Bloor.

Donald Michel Baker, 40, of Vancouver has been charged with five counts of sexual assault and one count of unlawful confinement.

http://www.cbc.ca/stories/news/2004/01/17/video_assault040117

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Fuckwittery clearly abounds as these people id the exact same thing(and what a crappy nickname - especially as there is nothing magic about him):

Mystikal Sentenced to Jail

Fri Jan 16, 2:40 AM ET


The Grammy-nominated rapper (real name: Michael Taylor) was sentenced to six years behind bars for forcing his hairstylist to perform sexual acts on him.

The 40-year-old victim said that Mystikal and his two bodyguards made her perform oral sex on them after they accused her of stealing ,000 worth of checks.

Mystikal initially pleaded innocent to the charges, but after police located a videotape the hip-hopster and his hired goons made of the action, the rapper pleaded guilty to charges of sexual battery.

Judge Tony Marabella, who imposed the rapper's sentence, said it was evident from the tape that the victim was "terrorized."

"The court is convinced that the defendant believes he is above the law and can take the law into his own hands," Marabella said.

The rapper originally faced a 10-year sentence, but it was reduced to six years as part of a plea agreement.

The two bodyguards, Leland Ellis and Vercy Carter, also pleaded guilty to sexual battery charges. Ellis received three years behind bars and Carter got four.

However, it was Mystikal that the judge saw as the "mastermind" behind the attack, which he characterized as "continuous sex acts."

After he serves his six years in prison, Mystikal will remain on probation for five more years for extortion charges. Extortion charges against his bodyguards were dropped as part of the plea agreement.

Since the attack, Mystikal has paid out 0,000. The money and his guilty plea were his way of "continuing to try to make up to all involved for the distress," he told AllHipHop.com in an interview last January.

The victim's lawyers were pleased with the outcome of the sentencing.

"Seeing that they didn't get away with this like a lot of people thought they would is validating," prosecutor Sue Bernie told the Louisiana Advocate.

The victim's civil attorney, Harry Ezim Jr. said he felt that justice had been served for his client.

"She can start the healing process," Ezim said. "Mystikal mystified my client, and today he was mystified by the court system."

The rapper was led from the courtroom in handcuffs and began serving his sentence immediately.

A onetime protg of Master P, Mystikal hit it big as a solo act with 1998's Ghetto Fabulous, which debuted at number five on the charts just days after he was busted on pot and gun charges in his native Louisiana. Mystikal's follow-up CD, Let's Get Ready, debuted at number one in October 2000, chalked up double-platinum sales and contained the Grammy-nominated booty anthem "Shake Ya Ass."


His most recent album, Tarantula, didn't fare as well, opening at 33 in 2001. It did, however, snag Grammy nods for Best Rap Album and Best Male Rap Solo Performance for the hit track "Bouncin' Back (Bumpin' Me Against the Wall)."

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=795&e=8&u=/eo/13287

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

More on Donald Michel Baker (he sounds like a complete monster):

POSTED AT 2:13 AM EST Monday, Jan. 19, 2004

Torture tapes stun B.C. investigators


By JANE ARMSTRONG
From Monday's Globe and Mail



The black-haired woman with the white cross dangling from her neck remembers the man she agreed to let hurt her. He was balding, "but not completely," wore glasses, and had a baby seat in the back of his car. He paid to inflict pain on her and she agreed.

"I needed the money," the young woman said, recounting the "date" last fall with a man who she said took her to a waterfront Vancouver park and videotaped a sadistic assault.

"It messed me up for a couple of days," the woman said, standing in the grey drizzle on Vancouver's seedy Hastings Street yesterday.

As she spoke, she stared into her Styrofoam coffee cup and described in graphic detail the man and the crime, without once looking up.

Asked why she didn't report the attack, the woman shrugged. "I don't know."

This woman's story took on broader significance yesterday with the news that Vancouver police are investigating the case of an alleged sadistic predator who they say tortured and videotaped up to 60 women over a period of several years.

Police say the man told the women up front that he wanted to inflict pain, but the acts escalated into violent assaults that involved "extreme pain" and degradation.

The suspect is also being investigated in the videotaped rapes of prepubescent girls as young as 10 in a Southeast Asian country.

Police say the tapes are disturbing to watch and have shaken even the most hardened officers. Police have identified about one-third of the women on the tapes and talked to many, but noted that not one had reported the alleged crimes.

The victims said the man paid to have sex with them and warned that he intended to inflict pain.

Police have charged Donald Michael Bakker, 40, with six counts of sexual assault and one count of unlawful confinement. They say up to 27 more charges may be laid today. (monday).

The alleged crimes are captured on videotape, which police discovered in the suspect's car and home.

Vancouver Police spokeswoman Sarah Bloor said the fact that women agreed to be hurt in exchange for money might explain their silence. Other agencies that assist women in the Downtown Eastside were surprised to hear that another predator was stalking women in the skid-row neighbourhood.

There was no mention of Mr. Bakker's name or physical description on any so-called "bad-date" list, which is circulated in the neighbourhood and warns of men who have assaulted or refused to pay prostitutes.

Mary Wreglesworth, chairwoman of the WISH Drop-in Centre Society, said sex workers are already burdened by defeat and shame.

"They went to the streets as abused children," Ms. Wreglesworth said. "Something like this brings up an incredible amount of turmoil." And if the women agreed up front to be hurt, they may feel they don't have the right to complain, even if the situation spun out of control.

The case comes nearly two years after police charged Robert William Pickton with killing women from the same Vancouver neighbourhood. He faces 15 counts of first-degree murder.

Police got wind of the torture case on Dec. 2 when they responded to a woman screaming in a waterfront park near the Downtown Eastside. Police arrested a man who was carrying a video camera and a bag filled with videotapes, searched his car and home and found more tapes depicting violent assaults.

Vancouver Police Chief Jamie Graham formed a task force of 34 officers to work on the case.

Mr. Bakker's lawyer, Kevin McCullough, accused police of blowing the case out of proportion. Mr. McCullough told CTV news that the case is no different from any other sexual-assault complaint and his client deserves to be presumed innocent.

Constable Bloor said Mr. Bakker is a banquet worker at Vancouver's upscale Pan Pacific Hotel. He is married with a baby and has no criminal record.

"By all accounts, he seems like your average neighbour," Constable Bloor said. Police have interviewed Mr. Bakker's wife, who is supportive of her husband. "She is still in a bit of denial."

Mr. Bakker has been in custody since his arrest. The man has appeared twice in court, most recently on Friday.

Police have said they want to talk to all the women on the tapes, but did not publicize the case until last Friday. Constable Bloor said police didn't want to jeopardize the investigation and noted there was no safety risk because the suspect was in custody.

Investigators hope to lay charges in the alleged assaults on children abroad. Under recent changes to the Criminal Code aimed at cracking down on so-called sex tourism, police can proceed with a case even if the alleged victim does not testify.

http://www.globeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20040119.wsex0119/BNStory/National/

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Published Tuesday
January 20, 2004

Man's complaint is misdirected





The customer isn't always right.

A man pulled up to the drive-through window of a Chinese restaurant in north Omaha on Thursday to complain about food he had ordered earlier.

From a different restaurant.

The customer couldn't produce evidence of the maligned meal - he said he threw the food away. Then he became belligerent with the store owner, according to police reports.

The owner got fed up with the abuse. He handed the surly customer a cordless phone and told him to call the police.

The customer threw the phone at the restaurant owner's face, then pulled out a gun.

The owner ducked, and the man sped off. - Lynn Safranek

http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_np=0&u_pg=1636&u_sid=979879

 

[stonedog3]

"By all accounts, he seems like your average neighbour," Constable Bloor said.


blood running cold..... but don't most of 'em?

urgh


Kath

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Yep it is those quiet normal folk you've got to watch out for!!

More people getting caught because they taped themselves doing vile things:

Woman Allegedly Tapes Self Sexually Abusing Kids

Footage May Be On Internet

POSTED: 3:26 PM EST January 20, 2004
UPDATED: 12:11 AM EST January 21, 2004

YORK COUNTY, Pa. -- A York County woman is facing multiple charges for allegedly taping herself sexually abusing children she was baby-sitting, according to a report.

Tracene Jo Usko, (pictured, left) of Newberry Township, is currently in the York County Prison in connection with the alleged abuse.

Usko is accused of abusing a 1-year-old boy and 2-year-old boy in her care between Dec. 31 and this weekend, WGAL-TV reported.

Police said Usko's daughter found recorded footage of the abuse and told her boyfriend, who then contacted police.

Police are still investigating to see if there were any more victims and if any of the footage was distributed on the Internet.

http://www.local6.com/news/2779086/detail.html

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

And on a asimilar incriminating theme:

Published on: 2004-01-22

Theer lawyer fights search

By Todd Leskanic
Staff writer



Michelle Theer's lawyer argued Wednesday that information seized from her computers - which includes 40 eBay searches for body bags - should be suppressed from her murder trial.


Theer is accused of killing her husband, Air Force Capt. Marty Theer, in 2000. She also is accused of planning the murder with her lover, former Army Staff Sgt. John Diamond, who was convicted by a military jury in 2001. Diamond was sentenced to life in prison without parole.

Theer's trial is scheduled to begin March 1 in Cumberland County Superior Court.

Judge E. Lynn Johnson, who will preside over the trial, heard pre-trial motions Wednesday. Theer's lawyer, Kirk Osborn, argued that evidence taken from Theer's house during a search in March 2001 was obtained without legal authority. Theer lived at 8620 English Saddle Drive.

At the time of the search, military agencies were investigating Diamond's role in Capt. Theer's murder. Osborn argued that the search warrant was specific to the investigation of Diamond, yet items belonging to his client were seized. Those items included two computers.

Assistant District Attorney Greg Butler said the computers contain about 13,000 e-mail files, an interview between Theer and Diamond, and more than 330 eBay files, including the searches for body bags.

Detective Ralph Clinkscales of the Fayetteville Police Department testified that the search warrant for Theer's house was not specific to the investigation of Diamond. Clinkscales said officers with the Fayetteville Police Department and military investigators searched the house.

The computers were seized, then given to military investigators for the case against Diamond, Clinkscales said. The computers were returned to Fayetteville police for the case against Theer.

Capt. Theer was shot about 11 p.m. on the evening of Dec. 17, 2000, in front of the office at 2500 Raeford Road where his wife practiced psychology. The couple was returning from a Christmas party in Cary. Michelle Theer has told police that they stopped at the office so she could pick up some papers. Capt. Theer was killed as he waited in the car.

2002 indictment

A grand jury indicted Theer on murder and conspiracy charges in May 2002. Theer went into hiding five days before the indictment was returned. Almost three months later, U.S. marshals found her living in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, Fla. She was using different names and had changed her appearance.

Theer, who is 34, is being held in the Cumberland County Jail without bail. She will not face the death penalty if convicted of murder. District Attorney Ed Grannis in June declared the case noncapital. A gag order has prevented Grannis from talking about the decision.

In March, Theer pleaded not guilty to the charges of murder and conspiracy.

The pre-trial hearing will continue this morning at 9:30.

Staff writer Todd Leskanic can be reached at [email protected] or 486-3572.

http://www.fayettevillenc.com/story.php?Template=news&Story=6134082

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

A prawn again Christian?

And back to the world of the bumbling incompetent thief:

Man Admits Stuffing Shrimp Into Pants

Email this Story

Jan 20, 11:35 AM (ET)



BETHLEHEM, Pa. (AP) - A man pleaded guilty to retail theft for allegedly stuffing worth of shrimp down his pants at a grocery store and then fleeing from the store without paying.

Johnny Rodriguez, 48, of Bethlehem Township, pleaded guilty Thursday in the case. Northampton County Judge F.P. Kimberly McFadden deferred sentencing.

According to court records, Rodriguez was in the Heights Market on Oct. 12 when a worker allegedly noticed that he had his pants undone and he was "sticking items down his pants."

The worker approached Rodriguez, who began removing bags of shrimp from his pants, but when ordered to stay where he was until police arrived, he fled, court records said. Authorities said he made off with four bags of shrimp.

Police said Rodriguez had been convicted of retail theft three times.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040120/D806LHM01.html

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Unlucky Ore. Inmate Gets Collared Again

Email this Story

Jan 21, 1:58 PM (ET)



PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - It was the pink underwear that gave away escaped inmate Keith "Lucky" Stratton - that and the fact his jail work pants kept falling down.

The convicted car thief jumped from a truck carrying a prisoner work crew through Portland's Parkrose neighborhood on Tuesday.

Someone called 911 and reported seeing a suspicious-looking man with pink underwear running behind a furniture store.

"The inmate was wearing brown work crew pants, but apparently they kept falling down," said Multnomah County sheriff's Lt. Michael Shults.

Stratton was still having trouble keeping his pants up when officers cornered him.

Last April, the 32-year-old escaped from a community transition program. Police found him hiding in an apartment under a pile of dirty clothes and blankets, his feet poking out.

Deputies were mystified why Stratton would again try to flee, since he was to be released May 2 and now may face substantially more jail time for the escape.

Shults had one possible explanation: It was Stratton's birthday.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20040121/D807CNE80.html

 

[Mighty_Emperor]

Posted on Tue, Jan. 20, 2004



MINNEAPOLIS: Man drives car off park's cliff

BY BILL GARDNER
Pioneer Press


A man drove a late-model Cadillac through a fence and off a cliff in Minnehaha Park in Minneapolis on Monday night and then threatened to shoot police officers who climbed down the cliff to try to rescue him.

The bizarre tale began about 5:40 p.m. when the man, whose name was not released, pushed a button to call the Cadillac OnStar "Directions and Connections" communications service, said Minneapolis Police Lt. Jeff Rugel.

"He said, 'I just stole this car. I have a gun. I'm going to kill someone,' " Rugel said.

The Cadillac didn't come back as stolen, and OnStar operators notified Minneapolis police, who were trying to locate the car, which was equipped with global positioning system technology. About the same time police received a call from a woman who said she had seen a car drive off a cliff at Minnehaha Falls, Rugel said.

Police quickly drove to the area, saw "a big hole in the fence" and spotted the car halfway down the 120-foot cliff, Rugel said.

"It's very heavily wooded and extremely steep," Rugel said. "It's a cliff."

As police scrambled down the cliff to reach the Cadillac, the man shouted at them.

"He was conscious and threatened them," Rugel said. "If they came any closer, he was going to shoot them."

One officer managed to sneak up and spray Mace at the man.

"That caused him to bring his hands up to his eyes, and they could see he didn't have a gun and they got him handcuffed," Rugel said.

Police got the man back up the cliff, but the Cadillac was still hung up precariously on a tree, and police thought it might drop all the way down the cliff, Rugel said.

"They didn't find a gun in the car, but they didn't search too well," he said. "You've got a car hanging on a cliff, you don't search it too well."

The Cadillac went through the fence at East 52nd Street and Minnehaha Parkway, about four blocks downstream from the Minnehaha Creek waterfalls, Rugel said.

"It's not like he ran off the road," Rugel said. "It was a deliberate run off the cliff."

The man, who Rugel estimated was in his late 20s to early 30s, was conscious and alert after he was rescued and was taken to Hennepin County Medical Center, where his injuries were not believed to be life threatening.

Rugel said there was no early indication why the man drove off the cliff or threatened police. He indicated to some officers that he had been having a bad day, Rugel said. Police believe the man owned the Cadillac.

"As far as we can tell, it's not a stolen car," Rugel said.

http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/7750246.htm