The World's Dumbest Criminals

maximus otter

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Police in Sydney's north-western suburbs have scored an easy result after allegedly finding more than $200 million worth of methamphetamine in a van that crashed into police cars parked outside Eastwood Police Station.

CCTV footage showed a white van turning onto Ethel Street before veering too far to the right side of the road and smashing into the parked police vehicles about 10.30am on Monday.

One of the police cars was significantly damaged in the crash but nobody was injured, NSW police said.



The driver allegedly fled the scene in the van, which was stopped and searched about an hour later on Church Street, Ryde.

During the search, police allegedly seized 273 kilograms of the drug ice, which has an estimated potential street value of more than $200 million.



The 26-year-old male driver was arrested and taken to Ryde Police Station. He was charged with large commercial drug supply, negligent driving, and not giving particulars to police.

https://www.smh.com.au/national/nsw/man-charged-after-crashing-his-van-containing-meth-into-police-cars-20190723-p529tc.html

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maximus otter

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A Jennings County, Ind., woman is accused of stealing another woman's dentures and wearing them to a meeting with her probation officer, according to the sheriff's office.



Joanne Childers is accused of stealing another woman's dentures from the Country Squire Lakes area Monday. The victim told the sheriff's office that Childers stole the teeth.

The same morning, Childers met with her probation officer and "had worn teeth that were clearly not hers," according to a Facebook post from the Jennings County Sheriff's Office.

On Wednesday morning, deputies went to Childers house and found the dentures in "plain view." The dentures also had the victim's name on them, according to investigators.

Childers is facing charges of theft.

https://www.wdrb.com/news/indiana-w...cle_ecd3f684-ae48-11e9-b061-079477c7ae59.html

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escargot

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maximus otter

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Woman says meth found hidden inside vagina is not hers:

A Louisiana woman allegedly caught with meth hidden inside her vagina said she didn't know where the drugs came from, police said.

Ashley Beth Rolland, 23, was accused on July 31 of stealing $5,000 from the apartment of a man she'd been staying with for about a week, according to documents published by the Ouachita Parish Sheriff's Office.



The man told the West Monroe Police Department that while he was showering, Rolland swiped his cash and left. Rolland allegedly confessed to police she did take the man's money and left his apartment.

The documents said a female correctional officer later searched Rolland and, inside of Rolland's vagina, discovered $6,233 along with "a clear plastic bag" of roughly one gram of meth — which Rolland denied was hers.

Rolland was arrested and charged with theft and narcotics possession.

https://www.fox5atlanta.com/amp/nat...-vagina-is-not-hers?__twitter_impression=true

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Shady

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Yea, like someone sneakily slipped it in her vagina when she wasn't looking, all women have that problem dontcha know
 

EnolaGaia

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Tip For Bullies: You'll seem a lot more intimidating if you don't whack yourself in the head with the nunchuks you're brandishing.
Florida man arrested for threatening others with nunchucks

Police say they’ve arrested a Florida man who’s accused of threatening his neighbors with nunchucks and bug spray before cutting his own head when he accidently hit himself with the weapon.

Daytona Beach police spokesman Messod Bendayan says 61-year-old Larry Adams complained about his neighbor’s loud music coming from a car in the parking lot of their Daytona apartment complex.

Police say Adams sprayed four of his neighbors with roach spray and swung his nunchucks in a threatening manner and hit himself.

Adams is charged with aggravated assault and battery with a deadly weapon.
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/0323b96500b540a7bc3d2153eaa75710
 

Bad Bungle

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Police in Sydney's north-western suburbs have scored an easy result after allegedly finding more than $200 million worth of methamphetamine in a van that crashed into police cars parked outside Eastwood Police Station.
I don't know anything about Meths, but anyone paying AUS $183 for a typical quarter gram 'dose' should rank as the-worlds-dumbest-punter.
 

EnolaGaia

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It's considered good practice to check the liquid you pout into your car's gas tank and ensure it's gasoline.
Sheriff: Trio of thieves thwarted by misleading gas jug

Authorities in Kentucky say three thieves thought they were stealing gasoline from a property for their broken down car until the car stopped working again.

Laurel County Sheriff’s Office on Facebook said the three stole a 5-gallon gasoline jug from a garage for their car. Except there wasn’t gasoline in the jug. It was peroxide.

News outlets report Latasha Bryant, Timothy Storms and Dustin Napier were arrested Wednesday on various charges including burglary. ...
FULL STORY: https://www.apnews.com/a3d1dc21d0fa4f7a9c5c219dda83c78f
 

maximus otter

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Man who rapped about killing girlfriend charged with her murder

A California man who was caught on video earlier this month rapping about killing his girlfriend has been charged for doing just that.



Robert Camou, 27, was indicted on capital murder charges Wednesday — weeks after being arrested in downtown Los Angeles on a warrant related to an old domestic violence case.
He had been accused of beating and strangling his girlfriend, Amanda Custer, 31, on April 22.


Custer went missing in late July — with authorities now suspecting that Camou killed her on July 29 while he was out on bail for the April attack. Her body has yet to be found.

Performing at an open-mic at the King Eddy saloon in LA, Camou told patrons: “I kill my b—h and bury that b—-h in the f–king dirt.”
“The cops trying to look for me and I’m f–king trying to shut my mouth
,” he added.


Authorities said the video was captured just hours after they arrested Camou and found blood and “evidence of an assault” at his home. Witnesses reported seeing him put Custer’s “lifeless” body in the back of his Prius that same night.

Camou faces life in prison or death if convicted.

https://apple.news/Aht7ZTfEQS-a4KOUjit-4fg

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EnolaGaia

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Drunk woman calls cops to report a drunk driver - herself ... :roll:
Intoxicated Utah woman called police to report drunk driver

A Utah woman has been sentenced to jail time after calling 911 to report a possible drunk driver while she was intoxicated.

Court documents show 32-year-old Breanna Dawn Hernandez called police on August 16 to report a possible drunk driver in Woods Cross.

When police pressed her for more information, the woman gave her own license plate and started laughing on the phone.

Police arrested Hernandez and charged her with a DUI and having an open container in her vehicle. Officers found an almost empty bottle of Fireball whiskey in her car.

Hernandez pleaded guilty on Tuesday to the DUI charge. She will serve 12 days in jail and be on probation for 12 months.
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/774b11a1d33d4c7f9405e39c0a124d77
 

maximus otter

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"Captain America" Caught Trying To Burglarize Mississippi Property

A man wearing a Captain America costume was arrested for burglary after a Mississippi homeowner caught the phony superhero breaking into a shed on his property, cops report.



David Hobbs, 36, was collared early Monday morning as he allegedly tried to use a pipe to break into a shed at the rear of a residence in the city of Clarksdale.

Hobbs was thwarted when an alarm alerted the homeowner to the attempted 3 AM burglary. The victim held Hobbs at gunpoint until police arrived.

For some unknown reason, Hobbs was wearing a Captain America costume, complete with mask.

His outfit also included fairy wings, apparently for a quick getaway.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/burglary/captain-america-collared-485609

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Bigphoot2

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Thieves steal till – from cash free restaurant
By Laurie Churchman @lauriechurchmanReporter



THIEVES broke into a vegan restaurant and made off with the cash register – only to find the business was cash free.
Staff at Brighton’s plant-based pizzeria Purezza said they were “baffled”.
Manager Anna Kearney-Greig, 34, said: “We’re completely cashless. We don’t have any money on site – it’s all electronic.
etc
https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/179...P2YYSLJ4B5UGAgpN5C5QAy5XVsp2M1z6NJ_le98dO7syc
 

EnolaGaia

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I debated whether this was a Strange Crimes or Dumbest Criminals story, but decided it was criminal action and extremely dumb.

This woman worked at the deli in a local grocery store. It's not clear whether she was adulterating dip being sold to customers versus contaminating some dip she'd skimmed off for herself.

Oregon woman charged with serving meth-laced bean dip

An Oregon woman is under arrest after police say she shared bean dip with an extra ingredient: methamphetamine.

Cassandra Medina-Hernandez gave some of the meth-laced dip to a fellow employee in the deli of the grocery store where she worked, according to a news release from the Marion County Sheriff's office.

The co-worker began feeling ill, went to the hospital, and was told the dip might have been contaminated with meth, deputies said. A least one other employee might have eaten some of the dip, deputies said, but they don't think any customers did.

Medina-Hernandez was charged with unlawful delivery of methamphetamine, recklessly endangering another person, and causing another person to ingest a controlled substance. ...
SOURCE: https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/28/us/meth-laced-bean-dip-trnd/index.html
 

maximus otter

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An Alabama woman concerned that her methamphetamine may have been tainted with another drug asked police to test her stash, a service request that resulted in her arrest for possession of a controlled substance.



Cops report that Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, called police dispatch Wednesday seeking assistance.

When Limestone County Sheriff's Office deputies subsequently arrived at Hall’s residence in Toney, a Huntsville suburb, she presented them with a clear plastic bag she had removed from a baby wipes container.

“I want this dope tested,” declared Hall, who added that she was concerned that her speed was somehow tainted.

The baggie proffered by Hall contained meth, cops report. As a result, Hall, seen above, was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and booked into the county jail. She is being held in lieu of $2500 bail.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/alabama/meth-test-arrest-215760

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escargot

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I debated whether this was a Strange Crimes or Dumbest Criminals story, but decided it was criminal action and extremely dumb.

This woman worked at the deli in a local grocery store. It's not clear whether she was adulterating dip being sold to customers versus contaminating some dip she'd skimmed off for herself.


SOURCE: https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/28/us/meth-laced-bean-dip-trnd/index.html

The co-worker began feeling ill, went to the hospital, and was told the dip might have been contaminated with meth, deputies said. A least one other employee might have eaten some of the dip, deputies said, but they don't think any customers did.
It might have been contaminated? This all seems fishy to me.
 

EnolaGaia

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I"m putting this under Dumbest Criminals because I don't see how hiding in the victimized business's ceiling is anything but a dumb move - expecially since she'd already been "made" as a suspect and was being pursued.
Woman hides in store’s ceiling to avoid shoplifting arrest

A Florida woman faces multiple charges after authorities say she climbed into the ceiling of a Big Lots store to avoid a shoplifting arrest.

A Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office news release says 37-year-old Kristina Perkins went into the store’s restroom on Friday and removed some tiles so she could climb into the ceiling.

Deputies removed tiles from several spots in a five-hour effort to catch Perkins. The news release says she ignored commands to come down and instead moved to other sections of the ceiling. A deputy stayed behind when the search was called off and saw Perkins climbing down from the ceiling.

She was arrested on charges of criminal mischief, petit theft and resisting law enforcement. ...

SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/62f31a319d99498c84d34c9f4d81867a

A Florida woman faces multiple charges after authorities say she climbed into the ceiling of a Big Lots store to avoid a shoplifting arrest.

A Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office news release says 37-year-old Kristina Perkins went into the store’s restroom on Friday and removed some tiles so she could climb into the ceiling.

Deputies removed tiles from several spots in a five-hour effort to catch Perkins. The news release says she ignored commands to come down and instead moved to other sections of the ceiling. A deputy stayed behind when the search was called off and saw Perkins climbing down from the ceiling.

She was arrested on charges of criminal mischief, petit theft and resisting law enforcement. ...
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/62f31a319d99498c84d34c9f4d81867a
 
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Sort of guy who use a powerhose to wash windows.

Thief blows himself up as he plants explosives on a cash machine in Russia
  • 37-year-old robber tried to hack the Sberbank ATM in Russian city Cherepovets
  • The thief's homemade bomb exploded as he attached it and he died instantly
  • The blast was so powerful that a nearby door was thrown 35 feet down the road
By WILL STEWART IN MOSCOW FOR MAILONLINE

PUBLISHED: 12:28, 9 October 2019 | UPDATED: 12:49, 9 October 2019

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7554087/Thief-blows-plants-explosives-cash-machine-Russia.html
 

maximus otter

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Alaska Police say a woman called them Monday, Sept. 30, to say she'd found an SD card that contained video of a homicide. The woman told police she'd found the SD card in the street in Fairview.

Anchorage Police say 48-year-old Brian Steven Smith has been arrested on a charge of first-degree murder in the death of the woman.



According to charging documents, the SD card was labeled "Homicide at midtown Marriott." The memory card contained 39 images and 12 videos showing the progression of a crime.

Two days later, on Oct. 2, officers were called to Milepost 108 of the Seward Highway, where human remains were found. Police now believe the remains are of the woman shown in the video.

Police have identified the victim as 30-year-old Kathleen J. Henry.

investigators were able to quickly identify the suspect in the video because detectives were familiar with him from a separate ongoing investigation. They would specify neither the nature of the separate investigation nor Smith's role in it.

According to the charging documents, after police obtained a warrant for Smith's cell phone records, they were able to trace his location to the area where the human remains were found within minutes of when the last still image on the SD card was created.

https://www.ktuu.com/content/news/M...-found-in-street-showing-video-562639431.html

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EnolaGaia

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Maybe the most accurate futurists were Cheech and Chong ...
Deputies ask man to quit calling about his stolen marijuana

Authorities say a Florida man repeatedly called 911 to report that his roommate had stolen his marijuana.

A deputy for the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office posted a Twitter response to the man’s calls Saturday night: Stop calling.

Deputy Neal Zalva says in the Twitter video that he called the man back to tell him to quit contacting the sheriff’s office about his stolen marijuana. Zalva recorded the video as part of the agency’s #TweetAlong program, which allows viewers to get a behind-the-scenes look at the police work by the deputies.

Recreational marijuana use remains illegal in Florida.

A sheriff’s office spokesman says no charges were filed against the caller.

Sheriff’s office communications director Kevin Doll said Tuesday they just wanted the man to stop calling about the stolen weed.
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/24f62c5d8b374717bb8c7a1cf97835e6
 

EnolaGaia

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He should have been wearing a turtleneck ...
Man with own name tattooed on neck arrested for falsely ID’ing himself

The ink didn’t lie.

Mattoon police arrested a 36-year-old Illinois man for giving officers a fake name, despite having his real name tattooed on his neck.

Matthew C. Bushman, of Mansfield, had a warrant out for his arrest when officers booked him on Oct. 11 for obstructing justice. A police mugshot shows the “Matty B” tattoo across his throat.

Police said they were investigating a forgery when Bushman gave them a false name and date of birth in an attempt to dodge a warrant out of Peoria County. ...
SOURCE: https://fox43.com/2019/10/17/man-wi...medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
 

EnolaGaia

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This guy is either one of the dumber criminals or an equally dumb victim of a criminal scam. I'm thinking it's the former ...
Nebraska man tries to open bank account with fake $1M bill

Police are searching for a man who walked into a bank in Nebraska this week and tried to open a checking account with a fake $1 million bill.

Staff at the Pinnacle Bank branch in Lincoln reported the Monday morning incident to police. The Lincoln Journal Star reports that bank employees say the man was adamant that the bill was real despite tellers’ attempts to convince him otherwise.

The man eventually left with the bill, but without a new account.

Police are reviewing surveillance video to try to identify the man. Police say they want to check on his welfare and make sure he was not the victim of a crime.

The largest denomination note ever issued for public circulation was the $10,000 bill.
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/d73f0dd133f448b6b8064ca2a79a0f83
 

Shady

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Poor sod, could have mental health issues and, did the bank not get the guys name? You would have thought they would ask him for his name and that they had to get a manager to clear it and while they were out of view could have gotten someone to call the police while they went back and kept him at the window.
 

Lord Lucan

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The world is full of fucking idiots and this thread confirms it everytime I visit. Another addition...

Man wearing 'It's not a crime unless you get caught' shirt gets caught on security cam committing crime

CRYSTAL CITY, Mo. — You can file this story under "proof irony isn't dead."

On Oct. 22, a man walked into the Twin City Coin Laundry in Crystal City, Missouri, wearing a T-shirt with an interesting motto, considering what he did next.

While wearing a shirt that said "It's not a crime unless you get caught," the man proceeded to break into a vending machine and make off with 15 pounds of change and cash in full view of an HD security camera.
Source: https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/c...aught/63-c02ff6c5-dbe7-4eda-b427-f15cac94d4e5
 

JamesWhitehead

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Trying to pass a $1 million dollar bill is one thing but yesterday I witnessed a sign of the times at a Cheetham Hill supermarket.

When a woman proffered a £50 note, the cashier had to have it verified by the supervisor. It then became the sole occupant of that part of the cash-drawer. I could not help but wonder if this is routine in all Tesco stores or only in those where the larger denomination notes are like hens' teeth! :confused:
 

maximus otter

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A man who attempted to smuggle cannabis into prison by hiding it in a balloon up his nose has retrieved the drugs more than 18 years later, after mistakenly believing he had swallowed the package.

the patient was first given the cannabis inside a rubber balloon when his girlfriend visited him in prison.

The man inserted the package into his right nostril to hide it from the prison guards and smuggle it into the facility.

However he was unable to retrieve it once he slipped past them, and eventually mistakenly believed that he had accidentally swallowed it.

Over the next two decades the balloon developed into a rhinolith, a stone in the nasal cavity formed as calcium and magnesium salts slowly built up around the rubber.

This caused the patient regular sinus infections and frequent complaints about nasal obstructions, but it wasn't until these developed into painful headaches that he sought treatment.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.s...r-he-tried-to-smuggle-it-into-prison-11849973

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