The World's Dumbest Criminals

Frasier Buddolph

CAUTION: May not know what he's talking about.
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10,000 dollar bill..?

Blimey.!!!

Sod mistaking that for a 10 pound note when buying a couple of pints. :boozing:
W.C. Fields to bartender: "Was I in here last night, and did I spend a $20 bill?"
Bartender: "Yes."
W.C. Fields: "Oh, what a load that is off my mind! I thought I'd lost it . . ."
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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"The Devil Suckered Me Into It ..."
Louisiana Man, 27, Tells Cops That The Devil Set Him Up In Meth Case

Meet Franklin Redfearn.

After the bug-eyed Louisianan, 27, was arrested Friday evening for narcotics possession, he told cops “the devil framed him.”

Responding to a 911 call about a suspicious person, police found Redfearn standing on a porch of a residence in West Monroe. According to a police report, Redfearn lives about 20 miles away in the town of Eros.

As a sheriff’s deputy approached him, Redfearn allegedly threw a white pill bottle containing methamphetamine into the yard.

After being read his rights, Redfearn “stated the devil framed him.” Despite that compelling explanation, Redfearn was arrested on a felony narcotics possession count and booked into the local jail, where he is being held on $3000 bond.

Redfearn appears to be the sole individual charged in the meth case, according to court records that do not name any codefendants or personifications of evil.
SOURCE: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/devil/devil-framed-him-275809
 

EnolaGaia

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This must be the meth moronic season ... It's risky enough to be transporting 43 pounds of the stuff, but having some of it laying out in plain sight is just "asking for it" ... :doh:

A driver was arrested with $1.9 million worth of meth in plain view, authorities say

A driver was arrested in Arizona after he was found with meth worth more than $1.9 million in plain sight during a traffic stop, authorities said.

Israel Tellez-Nava, 35, of Las Vegas, was arrested Thursday for transportation of dangerous drugs for sale, possession of dangerous drugs, and possession of dangerous drugs for sale, the Mohave County Sheriff's Office said in a statement.

Authorities conducted the traffic stop on Interstate 40 in Kingman. Tellez-Nava was the sole occupant of the vehicle, the sheriff's office said.

Detectives saw bundles of methamphetamine in plain view and arrested him on scene, authorities said.

"A further search of the vehicle resulted in three large (boxes) containing a total of 43 pounds of methamphetamine with an estimated street value of over 1.9 million dollars," the Mohave County Sheriff's Office said in a written statement. ...
SOURCE: https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/24/us/arizona-meth-arrest-trnd/index.html
 

EnolaGaia

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The only thing more likely to terminate your job than calling in drunk is to show up anyway and try to rob your workplace ... :doh: :roll:
Police: Man called out of work drunk, tried to rob workplace

Police in Georgia say a man called out of his Steak ’n Shake job because he was “intoxicated,” then showed up anyway and demanded money while holding a co-worker at gunpoint.

The Gainesville Times reports 20-year-old Kentarias Gowans, of Flowery Branch, is charged with offenses including aggravated assault. Oakwood Police investigator Todd Templeton says Gowans called out on Thanksgiving, went to the restaurant that night, held a gun to a co-worker’s head and demanded money.

Police say responding officers arrived to see employees running from the business, which had customers at the time. Police say an apparently still intoxicated Gowans briefly raised the gun at officers before dropping it. He was arrested after a brief struggle during which a stun gun was used. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/9bd88df42ac14933bf8eb270088873b6
 

EnolaGaia

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Here's a new form of "home invasion" ...

I thought about putting this in Strange Crimes, but I finally decided you have to be pretty dumb to think you could get away with moving into a house with forged lease documentation.

Deputies: Woman used fake lease to move into Arizona home

An Arizona woman is facing charges after authorities said she faked a lease agreement and moved into a home without the homeowner’s permission.

KPHO-TV reports Stephanie Heinrich was arrested last month after Yavapai County Sheriff’s deputies found her moving into a home without permission.

Deputies say they found the 45-year-old Heinrich and her boyfriend unloading a moving truck outside a Prescott, Arizona, home. Heinrich showed deputies an 11-year lease agreement.

After deputies got a search warrant, Heinrich admitted that she forged and downloaded all of the forms off of the internet because she didn’t want her boyfriend to know they were in financial trouble.

She was booked at the Camp Verde Detention Center on fraud charges and ordered held on a $75,000 bond. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/4ce2e0d87813bfe33deb1a3f8e7afaad
 

EnolaGaia

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Felonious acts committed for training purposes are still felonies ... :doh: :roll:
Police: Subway worker robbed shop to teach ‘a lesson’

An employee of a New Mexico Subway sandwich shop is facing charges after police say she robbed the place to teach another worker “a lesson.”

Lorena Ariana Marin, 22, and her alleged accomplice Angelo Rey Espinosa, 19, were arrested Monday night following reports of a robbery in Las Cruces, New Mexico, the Las Cruces Sun-News reports.

Police said Espinosa allegedly stood by while Marin verbally and physically threatened the employees after hopping behind the counter. They ushered the employees to the back of the store, but one employee ran to her car and got away.

Marin told officers she committed the robbery “to teach one of the employees a lesson about what could happen late at night in that part of town.” Marin and Espinosa are facing robbery charges. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/f9f0446f3043a9fb35a118171ef7d556
 

Tempest63

Abominable Snowman
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I remember two dumb criminal stories from my younger days. The first was a cutting from the South London Press recounting the court reporting of an Irish fellah who was obviously clothed in the the outfit of a construction worker trying to pass himself of as a Dr J someone or other with a stolen credit card. After alerting security the shop attendant was playing for time telling the Irish man he was waiting for telephone approval of the transaction (remember those days?) and tried engaging the suspect in a bit of banter; he asked your man what the J on the card stood for? George was the reply! :p

The second was seeing a guy, obviously very drunk, stagger across the Walworth Road and lob a lump of something through a shop window, presumably with the hope of nicking something from the display. On the second attempt he punched a hole in the glass...at the very top of the window! He would have needed 8foot arms to get them in the hole and down enough to grab something.
 

EnolaGaia

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Unless this story turns out to involve a major hoax or a very cunning diversion, this guy qualifies for inclusion in our Dumbest Criminals thread ...
Georgia man arrested after calling police 3 times to confess

A man apparently felt so bad about breaking the law that he called police three times to confess, according to police in Georgia.

Lt. Tim Watkins of the Thomas County Sheriff’s Office told the Thomasville Times-Enterprise that a man called at 5 a.m. Friday to say he had stolen a car in Thomasville and was about 12 miles (20 kilometers) away in the smaller town of Boston.

A Boston police officer went looking for the Chevrolet Impala and 29-year-old Quent Rashed Lankford, but could find neither. Lankford called back again, and finally called a third time to say he had broken into a convenience store and was drinking beer.

“He wanted to confess and turn himself in,” Watkins said. “He called three times.”

That was enough for Boston police to track down and arrest Lankford. The car was later found in Thomasville.

Lankford was charged with second-degree burglary, and theft charges are pending. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/f29263f6ea26b0e0e13916f65484ab6d
 

Vardoger

How Much Is The Fish?
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North Carolina Man Arrested for Allegedly Stealing From Bank After Showing Off Money on Social Media

BYFNR TIGG
The Reason The Cutlass Is Blue |FNR_TIGG


Image via Facebook/New York Daily News
One North Carolina man proved once again that social media is the easiest way for a person to dry snitch on themselves.
Arlando Henderson, an employee at a Charlotte financial institution, allegedly stole money from deposits made by customers that were held in the vault on at least 18 separate occasions in 2019. Per the indictment, he'd allegedly taken over $88,000 in cash.

Authorities were able to track Henderson's activity because he showed them the money via his social media. Henderson posted pictures to Facebook and Instagram showing him holding stacks of the stolen money and the things he purchased with the cash. In July, Henderson allegedly stole $70,000 from the vault and then made a $20,000 cash down payment on a 2019 Mercedes-Benz. According to the local Fox affiliate, Henderson's Facebook shows him posing with the white Mercedes-Benz in September.

https://www.complex.com/life/2019/1...ault-after-flexing-with-money-on-social-media
 

EnolaGaia

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In this instance, the first paragraph says it all ... :roll:
Protip: Do Not Make It Easy For The Cops By Hiding Your Meth Stash Inside A Box Labeled "Dope"

A Louisiana woman is behind bars on a felony drug possession charge after police discovered her methamphetamine stash in a small plastic container that was helpfully labeled “Dope.” ...
FULL STORY: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/dope/dope-dope-bust-712038
 

EnolaGaia

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I guess it could have been worse ... The cops might have notified her she had to be decapitated because they detected traces of rabies ...
Police: Woman submitted dog urine during drug screening

A Kentucky woman gave her probation officer a dog urine sample during a drug screening, police said.

Julie Miller, 40, of Arjay, was arrested Monday on a charge of tampering with physical evidence, the Pineville Police Department said in a release on its Facebook page. She also was charged with a parole violation and trafficking in a controlled substance.

Miller admitted she tried to use the dog urine as her own sample given to officers at the Bell County Probation and Parole Office during a regular probation visit, the statement said.

Miller pleaded guilty in Bell County Circuit Court in November to a charge of first-degree possession of a controlled substance.

Miller was being held in the Bell County Detention Center.
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/419682399c3603b364edd3d5b55e80dc
 

EnolaGaia

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Even if I give this guy credit for understanding the legalities and details of buying real estate his actions qualify as "dumb."
Man gets prison for stealing home deed without signing loan

A Florida man was sentenced to prison for trying to steal a new $219,000 home by snatching and filing a signed deed without signing loan documents.

Stanley Livingston, 45, was given a three-and-a-half-year sentence last month in Polk County court ... A jury convicted him in September of grand theft and filing a false document against real property. Livingston, who represented himself, had faced up to 30 years in prison.

In his closing argument at trial, Livingston said he had no intention of stealing the home. He said he believed that the seller, Starlight Homes Florida, already had been paid.

Livingston had contracted to buy a new house in a Haines City subdivision, trial witnesses testified. During a May 2018 meeting to close the sale, he had asked to delay signing the mortgage documents until the end of the meeting. His signature would have committed him to repaying the home loan. At some point, Livingston grabbed the deed, which Starlight Homes officials already had signed, and ran to his truck. A closing agent testified that she ran after Livingston but he quickly drove away.

The deed was filed with the Polk County Clerk of Courts two days after the meeting, according to testimony. He told workers he had paid $1 for the house and property, where he was now living, officials said. Later that day, he went to the subdivision sales office to tell the developer that he now owned the house and to leave him alone. They called police, and Livingston was arrested. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/148b32524148b52163f80016420c3835
 

Vardoger

How Much Is The Fish?
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Mississippi suspects tried cashing in lottery ticket after gluing on the winning numbers
by WBFF
Wednesday, January 8th 2020

MISSISSIPPI (WBFF) Two Mississippi men wanted to claim a $100,000 lottery so bad that they glued the winning numbers onto a losing ticket, according to officials.

47-year-old Odis Latham and 48-year-old Russell Sparks reportedly tried to claim the scratch off winnings at lottery headquarters in Mississippi.

Fox News reports that the ticket was determined to have been changed using glue to paste on the winnings numbers to match the prize.

More at https://foxbaltimore.com/news/natio...ket-after-gluing-on-the-winning-numbers-offic
 

EnolaGaia

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I'm not sure how either the requestor or the sender came to believe this would work ...
Christmas crystal: Man charged with mailing meth to inmate

A man sent some illegal holiday cheer to a woman in jail and he ended up getting arrested himself ...

News outlets report 40-year-old Timothy Lee Snow sent the woman a Christmas card filled with drugs.

Bibb County Jail inmate Mary Beth Odum, 40, had told Snow over the phone how to put meth and other drugs into a card to send to her in jail ...

Deputies intercepted a contraband-filled card filled with methamphetamine and Suboxone and began investigating Snow. On Jan. 9, deputies followed Snow as he left his residence and found him with meth, Xanax and a revolver. When they searched his home, deputies found more meth, Suboxone, marijuana, steroids, packing materials, a shotgun and a rifle.

Snow was arrested and charged with possession of a firearm, possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute and giving an inmate drugs ...

Odum, who was already in jail, now faces additional charges including attempt to commit offenses pertaining to the possession of drugs and use of communications facilities in a drug transaction. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/8cc2117791562ea9a4fbd5416841e11f
 

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
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A not quite cunning disguise
Bank robber pillow case disguise had no eye holes
  • 17 January 2020


A bank robber put a pillow case over his head to hide his identity - then had to take it off as he could not see.
Matthew Davies failed to create eye holes in the cover ahead of the armed raid at a bank in Dunfermline, Fife last September.
etc
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-51154331
 

EnolaGaia

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If you're going to steal sizable appliances, it's a good idea to practice your hand truck skills ...
Clumsy burglar drops dishwasher in road in front of home

Police in Australia shared footage of a clumsy thief wheeling a pilfered dishwasher away from an under-construction home and dropping the appliance on the street.

South Australia Police said in a Facebook post that three under-construction homes were burglarized Monday morning in Wallaroo and the culprit was caught on camera using a dolly to carry a Vento dishwasher out of one of the homes.

The security camera footage shows the man wheeling the dishwasher out of the home and down a sidewalk.

The man goes over the curb into the road and the dishwasher falls off the dolly, landing on its side in the road. ...
SOURCE: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2020/0...-in-road-in-front-of-home/5791579636108/?sl=6
 
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