The World's Dumbest Criminals

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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That was it.
Where am I getting 'hobe' from though?
I'm sure there was some other comedy skit thing that was similar in which the note kept getting mis-read as 'I hobe a gub'.
Or maybe I imagined that.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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If you wake up on the wrong side of an entire US state and realize you're due to appear in court on the other side of the state, it would seem stealing a car, making a high-speed long-distance run, and hitting other vehicles is only going to increase the number of court dates you seem unable to remember.
Suspect leads police on chase after stealing car in KC to make St. Louis court date

A suspect led police on a multi-state chase Thursday afternoon.

According to police, the suspect woke up this morning in Kansas City and realized he had a court appearance in St. Louis. Officers said he did not have a way to get to St. Louis, so he stole a car. ...

En route to St. Louis, the suspect ... hit two vehicles in Wentzville while he was being pursued by Wentzville police. The driver's of those vehicles were not hurt.

O'Fallon police picked up the pursuit in St. Ann where two St. Ann officers placed spike strips down. The suspect was ultimately caught and taken into custody in Troy, Illinois.
SOURCE: https://www.kmov.com/news/suspect-l...cle_a4532504-0122-11ec-9e4f-cfb9b810595e.html
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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This Japanese man attempted to rob a store using a cigarette lighter. When police arrived he even attempted to threaten them with the lighter. The big mystery lies in what the **** he thought he was doing.
Sapporo man attempts to rob store with lighter, goes as you’d expect

A story on the lighter side of crime.

With guns being extremely hard to come by in Japan, armed robbers here usually resort to large kitchen knives for intimidating store staff into handing over money. But for some reason, some of them apparently can’t even get their hands on one of those and have to get really creative with “weapons” such as nose hair clippers.

Tomoharu Nakamura of Sapporo, Hokkaido, however, may have taken the cake for most absurd robbery weapon. The 41 year-old was arrested on multiple charges in addition to attempted robbery with a lighter. ...
FULL STORY: https://soranews24.com/2021/08/27/s...o-rob-store-with-lighter-goes-as-youd-expect/
 

Nosmo King

I'm not a cat
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This Japanese man attempted to rob a store using a cigarette lighter. When police arrived he even attempted to threaten them with the lighter. The big mystery lies in what the **** he thought he was doing.

FULL STORY: https://soranews24.com/2021/08/27/s...o-rob-store-with-lighter-goes-as-youd-expect/
I was thinking it may have been a gun shaped lighter, like the one below.
71h-UE8FGvL.jpg


But no it was just a crappy disposable job :hahazebs:
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
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I'm guessing the man is homeless and it was a desperate attempt to get into jail.
I mean, where else can you get 3 meals a day without having to work?
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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gun shaped lighter,
Didn't I read somewhere about someone who shot themselves in their face when lighting a cigarette due to a mix-up?
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
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It's that in one of 'The Pink Panther' films?
Aaah yes that's where I got it from I think.
Or it was a case of 'Art imitating life'. I can imagine someone actually doing it.
 

Nosmo King

I'm not a cat
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Aaah yes that's where I got it from I think.
Or it was a case of 'Art imitating life'. I can imagine someone actually doing it.
I had a mandela moment with this clip, because I was sure that Dreyfus took a cigarette and picked up the gun, then the scene cut to outside the office and you hear the shot, then you see him behind the desk.
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Didn't I read somewhere about someone who shot themselves in their face when lighting a cigarette due to a mix-up?
That rings a 'Ridiculous Accidents/Strange Deaths'-type bell 'ere too.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Didn't I read somewhere about someone who shot themselves in their face when lighting a cigarette due to a mix-up?
It's that in one of 'The Pink Panther' films?
Aaah yes that's where I got it from I think.
Or it was a case of 'Art imitating life'. I can imagine someone actually doing it.
I haven't found a documented case of a death caused by misidentifying a gun as a novelty gun-shaped cigarette lighter, but there are multiple cases of accidental discharges and / or woundings. For example, there's this 2014 incident in Chicago ...

Bullet fragment strikes woman when gun discharges on CTA bus
By Sun-Times Wire Jun 25, 2014, 4:00am CDT

A woman suffered a graze wound when a gun accidentally discharged on a CTA bus early Wednesday morning in the Archer Heights neighborhood on the Southwest Side.

A 45-year-old man riding the #47 bus southbound on West 47th Street at South Kildare Avenue about 6:30 a.m. discovered a small firearm sitting unattended on a seat, according to police and CTA officials.

The man thought the gun was a toy or lighter, picked it up and it discharged, police said. A bullet struck a vent under a row of seats, and a fragment struck a 47-year-old woman in the left thigh.

Police said the bullet did not go through the woman’s skin or clothing and she declined transport to a hospital. ...
https://chicago.suntimes.com/news/2...-strikes-woman-when-gun-discharges-on-cta-bus
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Here's a 2005 incident at a Louisiana junior high school ...
April 27, 2005: Reserve, LA
Two junior high school students were arrested after a 15-year-old accidentally discharged a .25-caliber handgun in a classroom. The male claimed that he thought that the gun, which was reportedly given to him by a 14-year-old male student, was a cigarette lighter. Police said the gun was small and resembled a cigarette lighter.
https://www.schoolsecurity.org/trends/violent-deaths-and-school-shootings/school-deaths-2004-2005/
--------------
Godchaux student fires handgun in class
Published 12:00 am Monday, May 2, 2005

RESERVE-A student discharged a gun at Leon Godchaux Junior High in Reserve on Wednesday, striking no one, but putting a bullet in the classroom floor.

According to Ann LaBorde, director of personnel and legal services for the St. John the Baptist Parish School Board, the 15-year-old student was sitting in his morning math class with the gun in his pocket.

The gun discharged around 10 a.m., sending everyone in class, including the suspect, fleeing the room.

LaBorde said the child then confessed and led administrators to the gun, which had been thrown in a drain after vacating the classroom.

He claimed that he thought the gun was a cigarette lighter, and when he stuck his hand in his pocket, it accidentally fired, putting a single bullet in the floor.

The student said he got the firearm earlier from a 14-year-old fellow student, who later was questioned and confessed.

LaBorde said the gun was found by the 14-year old before he got to campus, but it was unclear where it came from. ...
https://www.lobservateur.com/2005/05/02/godchaux-student-fires-handgun-in-class/
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Here's a similar 2011 story from California. The victim wasn't the woman, but her minor daughter.
Woman Shot After Mistaking Gun For Lighter

Police today were trying to figure out how a .22-caliber revolver wound up on the ground outside a Banning mobile home, where a woman mistook it for a cigarette lighter and accidentally fired it, wounding her 12- year-old daughter.

“We’re looking into the gun, how it got there and who left it there,” Banning police Sgt. Alex Diaz said.

The girl, whose name was not released, was shot around 5:40 p.m. Sunday outside the mobile home in the 100 block of North Phillips Avenue, Diaz said.

The girl’s mother, 30-year-old Rachel Avila, and her daughter were talking with friends when Avila spotted what she thought was a gun-shaped cigarette lighter on the ground, picked it up and pulled the trigger to light it, Diaz said. The weapon discharged, firing a bullet that ricocheted off the ground and into her daughter’s upper arm, he said.

The girl was treated at San Gorgonio Memorial Hospital and released.

“(The wound) was more superficial,” Diaz said.

The weapon was a North American Arms .22-caliber, Derringer-style revolver, he said.
https://kesq.com/news/2011/07/27/woman-shot-after-mistaking-gun-for-lighter/
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Here's a 1999 incident in Bremerton, Washington ...
CODE 911: Gun accident sends woman to hospital
Julie McCormick — Jan 14th, 1999

BREMERTON - A man visiting a resident at 1942 Burwell St. picked up a small gun he believed to be a cigarette lighter and began playing with it, Bremerton police reported.

The gun went off, and the bullet wounded a 30-year-old woman resident in the arm and exited through a window.

Police said the woman was taken to Harrison Hospital and was reported in stable condition.

The incident happened about 5:30 p.m. on Wednesday.
https://products.kitsapsun.com/archive/1999/01-14/0084_code_911__gun_accident_sends_woma.html
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
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Memo to Murderers:
(1) Avoid leaving personal effects at the scene of the crime.
(2) If you fail at (1), at least avoid returning to the scene of the crime to claim those personal effects while the cops are on the scene.
Murder suspect arrested after returning to scene to retrieve cellphone, JPD says

JACKSON, Miss. — A cellphone found at the scene of a fatal shooting led to the arrest of a murder suspect ...

Police said the victim was shot in the face about 1:30 a.m. Thursday at Capital and Clifton streets. The victim is unidentified, police said.

While officers examined the cellphone found at the crime scene, Tyrunte Spann returned to recover it ...

Spann was taken to police headquarters where he was interviewed and later arrested.

Spann is charged with murder ...
FULL STORY: https://www.wapt.com/article/murder...scene-to-retrieve-cellphone-jpd-says/37401578
 

Mikefule

Abominable Snowman
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Not sure if this is "strange crimes" or "dumb criminals" but as she let herself be noticed and observed before committing the crime, I'm going with "dumb".

Gist of it: a woman went through the newspapers for details of funerals, then turned up to "pay her respects" at the open coffin, and nicked the deceased's jewellery. She was doing this in a planned and organised way. Pretty unpleasant behaviour.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-58369921
 

escargot

Disciple of Marduk
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Memo to Murderers:
(1) Avoid leaving personal effects at the scene of the crime.
(2) If you fail at (1), at least avoid returning to the scene of the crime to claim those personal effects while the cops are on the scene.

FULL STORY: https://www.wapt.com/article/murder...scene-to-retrieve-cellphone-jpd-says/37401578
When I worked at the courts there was a trial of some serial farm raiders who'd gone around a wide rural area at night robbing anything they could carry: portable generators, tools, equipment. Farmers who'd left vehicles unlocked would find them rifled.

The gang were eventually cornered after a motorway chase. The clincher in the evidence against them was a satnav lifted from a Range Rover and programmed with the home address of one of the thieves, a Mr Einstein. :wink2:
 

Herr Cloaca

Ephemeral Spectre
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Not sure if this is "strange crimes" or "dumb criminals" but as she let herself be noticed and observed before committing the crime, I'm going with "dumb".

Gist of it: a woman went through the newspapers for details of funerals, then turned up to "pay her respects" at the open coffin, and nicked the deceased's jewellery. She was doing this in a planned and organised way. Pretty unpleasant behaviour.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-58369921
Would have been worse had she turned up at the wake and scoffed all the sausage rolls.
 

EnolaGaia

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A disgraced doctor facing trial and prison time for opioid fraud probably doubled or tripled his prospective jail time by trying to hire a hitman to kill the witness whose testimony would seal his fate.
Doctor Attempted To Hire Hells Angels To Order Hit On Witness In His Opioid Fraud Trial

Anatoly Braylovsky, a 50-year-old doctor from Wallingford, Connecticut, has been arrested on Friday, Aug. 27, a few days after his attempt to hire a hitman from the biker gang Hells Angels went awry ...

Braylovsky was busted after he contacted an FBI informant whom he thought was the brother of the President of Hells Angels, implying that he needed a witness that was set to incriminate him dead and saying “this guy’s gotta go.”

However, the unnamed informant later alerted the FBI, who then had an undercover agent pose as an assassin to meet up with Braylovsky to clarify his intentions on the matter ...

Braylovsky is undergoing trial right now for health care fraud and drug distribution after it was found that he was producing fraudulent opioid prescriptions for people in exchange for money. He was previously warned by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) about his unlawful prescriptions, but he took no heed of it ...

In his talk with the informant, Braylovsky expressed anxiety at spending time in jail and said that the five days he spent there before a pre-trial were the worst days of his life. He revealed his intent to not spend the rest of his life in jail in contracting a hired hitman to dispose of a witness in the fraud scheme. ...
FULL STORY: https://www.latintimes.com/doctor-a...der-hit-witness-his-opioid-fraud-trial-483994
 

Nosmo King

I'm not a cat
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2 people have been sentanced after they posted cannabis around the UK.

"A man and woman who posted dozens of packages of cannabis to people around the UK have been sentenced after Royal Mail raised the alarm.

Staff at a sorting office in Runcorn, Cheshire, spotted 44 packages containing the drug last year.

They alerted police and officers seized more than 300 bags of cannabis with a street value of up to £11,420.

The drugs were later linked to Michael Donnelly and Leanne Hughes, who were arrested."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-58406120
 

WeeScottishLassie

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2 people have been sentanced after they posted cannabis around the UK.

"A man and woman who posted dozens of packages of cannabis to people around the UK have been sentenced after Royal Mail raised the alarm.

Staff at a sorting office in Runcorn, Cheshire, spotted 44 packages containing the drug last year.

They alerted police and officers seized more than 300 bags of cannabis with a street value of up to £11,420.

The drugs were later linked to Michael Donnelly and Leanne Hughes, who were arrested."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-58406120
What a waste :(
 

michael59

Justified & Incandecent
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2 people have been sentanced after they posted cannabis around the UK.

"A man and woman who posted dozens of packages of cannabis to people around the UK have been sentenced after Royal Mail raised the alarm.

Staff at a sorting office in Runcorn, Cheshire, spotted 44 packages containing the drug last year.

They alerted police and officers seized more than 300 bags of cannabis with a street value of up to £11,420.

The drugs were later linked to Michael Donnelly and Leanne Hughes, who were arrested."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-58406120

Personally, I think that was really generous of them. I hope that their only loss was the time and effort it took to grow the weed and not that estimated street value.

It's so strange to think that we, here in Canada, including our doctors, have been sharing cannabis guilt free for 4 years already. Countries that have legalized recreational use of cannabis are Canada, Georgia, Mexico, South Africa, and Uruguay, plus 18 states, 2 territories, and the District of Columbia in the United States and the Australian Capital Territory in Australia. Commercial sale of recreational cannabis is legalized nationwide in two countries (Canada and Uruguay) and in all subnational U.S. jurisdictions that have legalized possession except Washington, D.C. A policy of limited enforcement has also been adopted in many countries, in particular the Netherlands where the sale of cannabis is tolerated at licensed coffeeshops.[/QUOTE]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_cannabis

Although, that article also states that Georgia is a country. :chuckle:

 

WeeScottishLassie

Justified & Ancient
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Personally, I think that was really generous of them. I hope that their only loss was the time and effort it took to grow the weed and not that estimated street value.

It's so strange to think that we, here in Canada, including our doctors, have been sharing cannabis guilt free for 4 years already. Countries that have legalized recreational use of cannabis are Canada, Georgia, Mexico, South Africa, and Uruguay, plus 18 states, 2 territories, and the District of Columbia in the United States and the Australian Capital Territory in Australia. Commercial sale of recreational cannabis is legalized nationwide in two countries (Canada and Uruguay) and in all subnational U.S. jurisdictions that have legalized possession except Washington, D.C. A policy of limited enforcement has also been adopted in many countries, in particular the Netherlands where the sale of cannabis is tolerated at licensed coffeeshops.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legality_of_cannabis

Although, that article also states that Georgia is a country. :chuckle:

You're very lucky to live somewhere with sensible rules regarding it.
 
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maximus otter

Recovering policeman
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A man removing a catalytic converter from a BMW was crushed to death when the car fell on him, an inquest heard.

Dad-of-three-crushed-to-death-under-BMW-as-he-720x480.jpg


Daniel Stephens, 25, from Pontypool in South Wales, had tried to take the valuable mechanical part from a vehicle in a car park along Porth High Street on August 12.

At 6am the car's owner approached his vehicle before driving to work, but found Mr Stephen's body mangled under the weight of his car.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/dad-25-crushed-death-trying-24888518

maximus otter
 
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