The World's Dumbest Criminals

[maximus otter]

South Carolina man arrested after mistakenly texting police in attempt sell gun and drugs

After allegedly texting the "wrong number" on Monday, Tondavian Wilson, 31, found himself in a conversation with a deputy from the Chesterfield County Sheriff's Office when trying to sell guns and marijuana.

Deputies began a "text dialogue" with Wilson regarding prices for the firearm and the requested amount of marijuana.

Wilson then gave the sheriff's deputies an address which is located in Cheraw, South Carolina, where he was working.

When officials arrived, Wilson was carrying a pistol and a bag that contained more than 90 grams of marijuana, according to the sheriff's office.

The sheriff's office wrote Wilson was arrested and "dumbfounded by his obvious texting mistake."

https://www.foxnews.com/us/south-ca...in-attempt-sell-gun-and-drugs-authorities-say

maximus otter

 

[kamalktk]

'Hello, police? I'd like to report the truck I stole has been stolen from me!'


https://www.whio.com/news/local/ohi...r-is-stolen-again/B6NMXBB4SNEFLF3E7FE4JMB2SI/

"An Ohio man who reported his truck stolen on Monday was arrested after authorities learned he stole the truck five days earlier in Delaware County."

 

[Mikefule]

That opens up some interesting questions, is she a victim or an accomplice? is she profiting from a crime? what crime has the culprit commited if he has not gained from it.

I know you're joking, but as a former fraud investigator, I'll take the bait:

Theft Act 1968. It is an offence to dishonestly appropriate the property of another with the intention to permanently deprive them of it. The thief dishonestly appropriated the card and did not intend ever to return it to its owner. The theft was at the moment that the card was taken, rather than when it was used to place the bet.

Fraud Act 2006. It is a fraud to make false representations with the intent to make a gain for yourself, or to cause a loss to another, or to put another at risk of loss. The person used the card dishonestly presumably with intent to make a gain, and certainly knowing that it put the owner of the card at risk of loss. The fraud was committed at the moment the bet was made. There is no offence of "attempted fraud"; it is a fraud as soon as you make the attempt.

In reality, the prosecution would normally be under the Theft Act. The Fraud Act is not used nearly enough.

Clearly, the victim is not an accomplice as she did not willingly participate.

Yes, she has profited from the crime in one sense, although she has lost out in other senses: inconvenience, distress, etc. However, the bookie is no worse off than if the bet had been placed honestly, and would only garner bad publicity for trying to recover the money.

Lots of people profit honestly from the crime of others: for example, every locksmith who repairs or replaces a lock after a burglary.

 

[EnolaGaia]

Some habits apparently die hard ... Because this guy was caught on surveillance camera and immediately identified, I'm calling this a dumb criminal story.

Florida Man Robs Bank Next Day He Was Released From Prison After Serving 8-Year Sentence For Bank Robbery: Police

A Florida man who was released from prison Wednesday after serving an eight-year prison sentence for a 2013 bank robbery, decided to rob another bank Thursday, just one day after his release, local authorities said.

According to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office. Timothy Jones, 59, walked into Truist Bank on South Orange Blossom Trail and demanded $150,000 in $100 and $50 bills and that if he did not receive the money, he would shoot a banker. Afterward, deputies said he forcibly took a car — a dark-gray 2014 Toyota Camry — and fled the area, local station WTSP News reports.

Authorities wouldn’t say how much they believe he made off with. Orange County deputies say they believe it’s possible that Jones ditched the car and is traveling by bus. However, the car has not been found. ...

FULL STORY: https://dailyboulder.com/florida-ma...ving-8-year-sentence-for-bank-robbery-police/

 

[EnolaGaia]

This criminal genius brandished a gun at a sex shop cashier, demanding all the cash in the till ... ... then grabbed a single sex toy and left without the money.

Man robs LA sex shop at gunpoint, steals sex toy

The Los Angeles Police Department is looking for a man who allegedly held up a sex shop at gunpoint and swiped an electronic masturbation toy. ...

Police say, on April 8. at roughly 10:50 p.m., a man wearing a surgical mask entered a sex shop near the intersection of Lincoln Boulevard and 84th Street in Los Angeles. The suspect then pulled a "blue-steel semi-automatic handgun," and aimed it at a sales associate. He then ordered her to hand over "all the money."

The man would walk over to the display case, grab a sex toy off the wall, and then walk out without the cash. ...

FULL STORY (With Photos / Video): https://www.moderntimeslb.com/post/man-robs-la-sex-shop-at-gunpoint-steals-sex-toy

 

[EnolaGaia]

If you're going to lure an online dating contact to a meet-up (to rob him) it's a good idea to be better armed than he is.

Tampa dating app meetup ends in robbery attempt and homicide

A woman has been arrested on a murder charge after deputies say she set up a meeting that ended with her brother being shot and killed. ...

A Tampa woman is facing a murder charge after a person she tried to lure into a robbery through a dating app shot and killed her brother in self defense, Hillsborough County Sheriff’s officials said.

Tat’yana Mekeva Gaston, 23, was arrested Friday and charged with second-degree murder in connection with the May 31 shooting ...

Police say Gaston matched with a person on the dating app BLK posing as a 22-year-old woman named “Jada.” She asked the person, who is not named in court records, to meet her at Kain Palms Apartments, where her brother, Jermon Kennard, 18, was waiting nearby to rob the person ...

When a masked Kennard threatened the person with a knife, he shot Kennard with a gun that was concealed in his waistband. Kennard was taken to Tampa General Hospital, where he died of gunshot wounds to his head and chest, records state. ...

FULL STORY: https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime...meet-up-ends-in-robbery-attempt-and-homicide/

 

[Ronnie Jersey]

If you're going to lure an online dating contact to a meet-up (to rob him) it's a good idea to be better armed than he is.

FULL STORY: https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime...meet-up-ends-in-robbery-attempt-and-homicide/

Like the way she's smiling in her mug shot.........LOL

 

[Coal]

If you're going to lure an online dating contact to a meet-up (to rob him) it's a good idea to be better armed than he is.

FULL STORY: https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime...meet-up-ends-in-robbery-attempt-and-homicide/

I mean it's Florida. Every second person has a gun. I worked for a company in Florida that had to change the company rules to stop people wearing their guns in the office.

 

[maximus otter]

Drunk mum left kids home alone to drive pal - then slathered herself in grease to escape police

Magen Hendry, 28, was drunk when she left her front door ajar and her children asleep at 3am on October 25, 2019. One child was of pre-school age and the other at primary school.

Teesside Crown Court has heard how police spotted Hendry's black Audi A9 driving dangerously, on Nelson Terrace in Stockton. Prosecutor Uzma Khan said that the car had no lights on and was seen going through red lights at the junction with Wellington Street; before driving through a second set of red lights at the junction with Victoria Street.

Ms Khan said that police following Hendry lost sight of her Audi, before it was picked up by CCTV abandoned in a car park on Durham Road. Hendry was seen crouching behind a wall.

She had covered herself in some sort of grease - thought to be vandal grease - in a bid to hide from police; and her bare feet were bleeding.

Ms Khan told the court that Hendry made a run for it, but was arrested after a short chase.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/drunk-mum-left-kids-home-24100671

maximus otter

 

[Mythopoeika]

Drunk mum left kids home alone to drive pal - then slathered herself in grease to escape police

Magen Hendry, 28, was drunk when she left her front door ajar and her children asleep at 3am on October 25, 2019. One child was of pre-school age and the other at primary school.

Teesside Crown Court has heard how police spotted Hendry's black Audi A9 driving dangerously, on Nelson Terrace in Stockton. Prosecutor Uzma Khan said that the car had no lights on and was seen going through red lights at the junction with Wellington Street; before driving through a second set of red lights at the junction with Victoria Street.

Ms Khan said that police following Hendry lost sight of her Audi, before it was picked up by CCTV abandoned in a car park on Durham Road. Hendry was seen crouching behind a wall.

She had covered herself in some sort of grease - thought to be vandal grease - in a bid to hide from police; and her bare feet were bleeding.

Ms Khan told the court that Hendry made a run for it, but was arrested after a short chase.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/drunk-mum-left-kids-home-24100671

maximus otter

Someone this stupid can afford an Audi A9?

 

[Trevp666]

She seems like a lovely person. I think the tattooed words on her neck are even spelt correctly.

 

[EnolaGaia]

If you're part of a gang who robs ATMs it's not a good idea to post YouTube videos in which you rap about robbing ATMs.

Man who raps about robbing ATMs arrested for robbing ATM

A man who raps about robbing ATMs was arrested for robbing an ATM. Ladesion Riley, 30, was one of four people arrested in Tennessee on Monday.

The Nashville Police Department says the four carried out a plot to rob an ATM technician as he serviced a Bank of America machine.

Darius Dugas, 27, Sashondre Dugas, 32, and Christopher Alton, 27, from Houston, Texas, were also arrested. The four were picked up just after they checked out of a motel.

Police say two of them approached the victim from behind and told him to not do anything stupid and hand over the money.

Detectives were able to determine that one of the getaway vehicles, a Hyundai Elantra, had been rented from Hertz. Using information provided by Hertz, detectives, with the assistance of aviation units, found the Hyundai and a maroon Jeep that accompanied it parked at the Motel 6 in Dickson.

Detectives watched as what appeared to be cash was loaded into the Jeep. When the Dugas couple and Riley pulled away from the motel in the Jeep, and as Alton drove away in the Hyundai, Dickson Police moved in with the assistance of the Nashville Police Department and the FBI.

The vehicles pulled over and the four were taken into custody without incident. ...

Riley performs under the name ‘213 Jugg god’ and has released music videos on YouTube.

His latest song is called "Make it Home" and refers to robbing ATMs. ...

FULL STORY: https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/man-who-raps-about-robbing-atms-arrested-for-robbing-atm

 

[EnolaGaia]

Three criminal geniuses robbed a Houston liquor store, having not considered the possibility the allegedly $4,200 bottle in the display case might be only a display decoy.

3 men rob liquor store in northwest Houston not realizing the bottle is only a decoy, police say

... On Monday at about 2 p.m., three men entered a liquor store located at the 2800 block of Katy Freeway.

The men inquired about a $4,200 bottle of liquor that was locked in a display case.

Investigators say an employee unlocked the display case and pulled out the bottle of liquor. One of the men then forcibly grabbed the bottle from the employee's hands and ran out of the store.

Meanwhile, a second suspect reached into the display case and removed another box of the same liquor, which he then dropped as he ran out of the store realizing that the box was empty.

The employee told investigators that the suspects got away with a decoy bottle (with very little value) and not the actual liquor bottle of $4,200 liquor, police said. ...

FULL STORY: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crim...-bottle-is-only-a-decoy-police-say/ar-AAYkRbS

 

[maximus otter]

Drug Defendant Makes Terrible Wardrobe Choice

Alabama man wearing a t-shirt proclaiming “I’m Too Good for drugs!” was arrested for possessing methamphetamine and narcotics paraphernalia, police report.

Allen Burnett, 60, was collared Thursday night near his home in Ashville, a small city about 45 miles from Birmingham.

Burnett was charged with a pair of drug counts and booked into the St. Clair County jail. He was released early yesterday morning after posting $3500 bond.

https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/too-good-for-drugs-759208

maximus otter

 

[hunck]

Man ‘shoots himself’ in botched murder plot

A 22-year-old man accidentally killed himself with a sawn off shotgun after a suspected revenge murder plot went horribly wrong, an inquest was told.

"On September 8, he swung the gun like an axe in a swinging motion onto the windscreen. He immediately collapsed to the floor and despite attendance of the ambulance service and police he was pronounced dead at the scene at 3.52pm. both the barrels of the shotgun discharged without the trigger being pulled due to the huge use of force exerted; in so doing and on impact the shotgun self-discharged.

Reece Ramsey-Johnson was found lying in a pool of blood with a gunshot wound to his chest outside a Lloyds bank in Sydenham, south east London, on September 8, 2019.

Police officers who attended the scene told Inner South London Coroner's Court that they saw Mr Ramsey-Johnson approach a blue Ford Fiesta with the gun, and hit the windscreen making a sound 'like thunder'.

A separate police investigation found that Mr Ramsey-Johnson had allegedly been working with three others to track down a man named Marley Lucas to try to kill him.

Lucas was acquitted by a jury in 2015 of the murder of Nathan Murray, a friend of Ramsey-Johnson's. He was instead convicted of manslaughter, stating that he killed out of self-defence.

 

[brownmane]

Man ‘shoots himself’ in botched murder plot

A 22-year-old man accidentally killed himself with a sawn off shotgun after a suspected revenge murder plot went horribly wrong, an inquest was told.

Mmm maybe not (bolded text).

 

[maximus otter]

Man attempted to rob bookies with bin bag mask and 'cunning use of crisp packet'

A man who attempted to rob a bookies wearing a bin bag on his face and pretending to conceal a weapon under a crisp packet has been jailed.

Jimmy Dungey walked into the Coral Bookies on on West Auckland Road in Darlington, on the afternoon of May 28.

The 36-year-old then approached and raised his right hand towards the cashier who "froze in fear", as she believed he could have a weapon under the pink crisp packet.

The defendant then shouted "I'm being serious, put everything in the bag", however a manager quickly intervened and told him: "F*** off" before sounding the emergency alarm.

Once he realised the alarm had been pressed, Dungey was heard to say, "Oh f***" and walked out of the shop door.

Dungey was handed an 18-month prison sentence.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/crime/man-attempted-rob-bookies-bin-27376112

maximus otter

 

[EnolaGaia]

A masked would-be robber walked into a bank and finds nobody on duty. He tries twice to jump or climb over the tellers' counter, but failed. He gave up and fled on a motorcycle.

Would-be bank robber wearing gas mask and GoPro camera leaves empty-handed

A man wearing a gas mask and a GoPro camera twice failed to scale the teller counter at a bank in Mercer County on Wednesday before riding off on a motorcycle, authorities said.

The man walked into TD Bank on State Road in Princeton at about 3:20 p.m. and approached the unoccupied teller counter, Princeton police said Thursday. Seeing no employee, the man tried to jump over the counter but wasn’t able to, according to Lt. Christopher Tash.

After the would-be robber tried and failed again, he left the bank and fled toward Princeton Avenue, Tash said. ...

FULL STORY: https://www.nj.com/mercer/2022/07/w...ask-and-gopro-camera-leaves-empty-handed.html

 

[EnolaGaia]

What's that they say defines insanity? Doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result? ...

This Minnesota man was in court being sentenced to prison for escaping from custody. He then escaped from the courthouse, only to be re-captured within hours. Now he'll be facing additional escape charges (and probably additional prison time).

Bemidji man flees courtroom after being sentenced, police report

A man has been apprehended after authorities say he fled a courthouse after being sentenced to prison.

The Becker County Sheriff's Office says 25-year-old Alexander Robere, of Bemidji, reported to the county courthouse in Detroit Lakes around 2 p.m. Wednesday to be sentenced on an escape from custody charge for which he had posted bail.

After a judge handed Robere a 20-month sentence, he fled the second floor courtroom and ran out of the building ...

At about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday, authorities reported that Robare was arrested in Detroit Lakes without incident. He is currently in custody with additional charges expected.

FULL STORY: https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/n...ody-flees-from-northern-minnesota-courthouse/

 

[EnolaGaia]

This Florida man didn't choose well when it came to getaway vehicles.

Man arrested after attempting to escape police on lawnmower

A Florida man was arrested Saturday after trying to outrun Okaloosa County deputies by putting his lawnmower into high gear.

Dusty Mobley, 40, is charged with grand theft, grand theft of a vehicle, felony criminal mischief, two counts of resisting an officer, possession of a concealed weapon by a felon, carrying a concealed handcuff key, possession of drug paraphernalia, as well as other felony charges after a warrant was served for his arrest Saturday ...

According to the Oklaloosa County Sheriff's Office, Mobley had previously fled deputies in Holt back on Jan. 3 by diving into a swamp along the Yellow River, after he was confronted about a $40,000 stolen boat. ...

During Friday's chase, deputies were able to successfully tase Mobley while he attempted to make his getaway on the lawnmower.

According to the sheriff's office, Mobley had a revolver and a handcuff key in his possession, along with a pipe with methamphetamine residue during his arrest. ...

FULL STORY: https://ktul.com/news/nation-world/...empting-to-escape-police-on-lawnmower-florida

 

[Trevp666]

didn't choose well when it came to getaway vehicles.

reminds me of....

 

[maximus otter]

Criminal Gangs in Europe Are Blowing Up ATMs – and the Cash Inside​

Criminal gangs armed with explosives are stalking the ATMs of the Netherlands, Belgium and northern Germany each night, hoping to find an unprotected machine to blast open and rob.

On Sunday night a gang tried to hit a shop in east Amsterdam with an ATM inside despite the building being locked behind metal grates at 2:30 AM.

“There was an initial bomb to break into the building, then another charge set against the ATM,” said a police official without permission to speak to media.

“They can’t work out the proper charge for the bomb and keep blowing up the fucking money,” said the cop.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/93ab4e/europe-atms-blown-up

- And my countdown clock is running...

maximus otter

 

[EnolaGaia]

This burglar left his keys inside the office he'd broken into, and he had to make a second trip to retrieve them.

Police: California burglar forgot keys inside crime scene

A Northern California burglar returned to the scene of the crime this weekend after he forgot his keys inside a doughnut company’s corporate office.

The thief stole some petty cash from Johnny Doughnuts’ office in the San Francisco Bay Area on Saturday night, police said. In another twist, he also grabbed the keys to a bakery vehicle, but didn’t steal the vehicle itself.

San Rafael police are seeking the public’s help to identify the burglar, who used an unknown tool to “manipulate” the office’s doorknob and get inside around 10 p.m. ...

FULL STORY: https://apnews.com/article/oddities-crime-california-san-francisco-0e6da3c1b370e91f61fabee4a1c96c5e

 

[EnolaGaia]

This Missouri thief apparently butt-dialed 911 while he and his 3 partners in crime were pulling their first heist of the night. Sheriff's deputies set out to track down the source of the aborted 911 call and were able to arrest the gang about as soon as they'd finished their spree.

Accidental 911 call in Eugene leads to four arrests in Jefferson City

An accidental 911 call in Eugene lead to the arrests of four people in Jefferson City Wednesday morning. ...

... Wednesday at 4:51 am, a Cole County deputy went to the 10000 block of Old Highway 54 in Eugene to investigate after someone had called 911 and hung up the phone.

When the deputy got there, the homeowner said they had not made the call. But, they did notice that one of their vehicles had been stolen.

Just minutes later, someone else called to report a theft in the 5000 block of Monticello Road. ...

While the person was filling out the report, they got a notification that one of their credit cards, which had been in their car, was being used at the Break Time Convenience Store on Ellis Boulevard.

When the deputy checked the surveillance video from the store, he identified the person who tried to use the card from a previous encounter.

The person was also connected to the phone number that made the accidental 911 call to Old Highway 54. ...

A 33-year-old woman, a 35-year-old woman, a 32-year-old man, and a 35-year-old man were arrested, for a number of charges including felony stealing, tampering with and the theft of a motor vehicle, and fraud. ...

Sheriff Wheeler wrapped up the release by saying, "we appreciate the suspects calling 911 and allowing us to solve this crime in a timely manner."

FULL STORY: https://krcgtv.com/news/local/accid...-madison-missouri-division-of-family-services

 

[Bigphoot2]

Criminal Gangs in Europe Are Blowing Up ATMs – and the Cash Inside​

Criminal gangs armed with explosives are stalking the ATMs of the Netherlands, Belgium and northern Germany each night, hoping to find an unprotected machine to blast open and rob.

On Sunday night a gang tried to hit a shop in east Amsterdam with an ATM inside despite the building being locked behind metal grates at 2:30 AM.

“There was an initial bomb to break into the building, then another charge set against the ATM,” said a police official without permission to speak to media.

“They can’t work out the proper charge for the bomb and keep blowing up the fucking money,” said the cop.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/93ab4e/europe-atms-blown-up

- And my countdown clock is running...

maximus otter

Probably been inspired by watching Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

 

[maximus otter]

‘What to do with £3m’: Would-be burglar caught out by Google search history

A would-be burglar was caught after police found Google searches for "what to do with £3 million" and "how to open a locked window" on her mobile phone.

Jordan Malcom-Taylor, 28, and Nikisha Hosten, 22, had planned to raid a property in Virginia Water, Surrey in 2020.

But they were spotted running through the back garden and, although they escaped a chasing occupant, were caught by police soon after.

Officers later tracked down Hosten’s phone where they found web searches for 'what to do with £3 million', 'where to get a gun' and 'how to open a locked window' in her browser history.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/20...ould-be-burglar-caught-google-search-history/

maximus otter

 

[hunck]

‘What to do with £3m’: Would-be burglar caught out by Google search history

A would-be burglar was caught after police found Google searches for "what to do with £3 million" and "how to open a locked window" on her mobile phone.

Jordan Malcom-Taylor, 28, and Nikisha Hosten, 22, had planned to raid a property in Virginia Water, Surrey in 2020.

But they were spotted running through the back garden and, although they escaped a chasing occupant, were caught by police soon after.

Officers later tracked down Hosten’s phone where they found web searches for 'what to do with £3 million', 'where to get a gun' and 'how to open a locked window' in her browser history.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/20...ould-be-burglar-caught-google-search-history/

maximus otter

Wow - 9 years 9 months & 11 years prison sentences respectively for a crime in the planning stage but not yet carried out is somewhat surprising.

 

[EnolaGaia]

If you're going to burn down your business to collect the insurance it's best if (a) your actions during the fire aren't caught on surveillance video and (b) you make a point to mimic the events of an actual fire in the correct sequence. This Washington (state) guy can now attest to the wisdom in these tips.

Lynden tire store owner charged with arson after police investigation

The owner of a Lynden tire store is charged with burning down his own business after security footage showed a different version of events than the business owner told police.

When investigators arrived at Bolton Tire Service the night of July 16, they said owner Kerry Bolton told them he had been filling up a generator with gas when it caught fire.

However, court documents obtained by KING 5 News tell a different story.

At 11:09 p.m., surveillance video shows the suspect spraying a fire extinguisher, but there is "no fire present."

Thirteen minutes later, flames appear.

Over the next seven minutes, the "fire is increasing in intensity," with Bolton still inside.

Twenty-three minutes after spraying the fire extinguisher, investigators say the suspect "calls 911."

After additional investigation, prosecutors determined the business owner was five months behind in his rent to the tune of $34,375.

They say he was about to be "evicted at the end of the month" and "had nowhere to move."

The documents also state a neighbor told investigators the suspect told him, "I should burn Bolton Tire down."

After the fire, the suspect went to Facebook to post his thanks to the community for their outpouring of support. Dozens of people posted responses saying they were praying for him.

Nine days later Bolton posted again, asking for "a recommendation for an attorney."

Kerry Bolton now stands charged with first-degree arson.

Investigators also determined Bolton declared bankruptcy in 2017 and made an insurance claim for more than $130,000 shortly after the fire.

FULL STORY: https://www.king5.com/article/news/...rson/281-fa211021-d5ee-45fb-9b1f-ca780dded00b

 

[Herr Cloaca]

Car thief tried to hide from police inside teddy bear
Officers "noticed a large bear breathing" and found the 18-year-old "hidden inside".