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The World's Dumbest Criminals

Bear in mind ... When traveling to court to face charges of car theft it doesn't help your cause to arrive in a stolen car. Maybe this northern California woman thought it was a job interview and she needed to demonstrate her skills ...
Woman arrested for car theft drove another stolen car to court appearance: Dublin police

A woman was scheduled to make a court appearance on Monday in Dublin after being arrested for stealing a car.

How did she get to said court appearance?

The 41-year-old woman identified as Brandy Jones used another stolen car to get to said court appearance, Dublin police announced on Wednesday. ...

When she arrived at the Dublin courthouse, authorities determined Jones was driving a stolen vehicle.

Right after, authorities took the woman back to Santa Rita Jail ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area...stolen-car-to-court-appearance-dublin-police/
 
Successful "legal / legitimate" businesses are often successful because they advertise. Advertising is not considered good practice for illegal enterprises ...
17-year-old poses with drugs, guns and cash — then was arrested, Texas sheriff says

A photo of a male teenager posing with drugs, guns and cash led to the arrest of the 17-year-old along with his passenger ...

The Bexar County Sheriff’s Office says it began an investigation on March 29 after learning the teen was posting to social media that he had THC cartridges, weapons and cash. The photos were “reportedly posted to Instagram.”

Investigators tracked down the teen and pulled him over, according to a March 30 news release. Deputies found hash oil, a loaded handgun and money in the vehicle. ...

Authorities say they received a search warrant for the teenager and his 21-year-old passenger’s home in southwest San Antonio, where they found “two handguns, a high powered pistol, cocaine, hash oil, marijuana, and $15,000.00 in cash.” ...

Both were arrested and booked into the Bexar County Jail ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.yahoo.com/news/17-old-poses-drugs-guns-224132304.html
 
During a traffic stop this West Virginia driver handed the police officer his vehicle registration documentation, and a packet containing meth fell out. Oops ...
Man hands officers meth instead of registration at traffic stop

Two men have been charged after officers found drugs during a traffic stop in Bridgeport. ...

On April 17, officers with the Bridgeport Police Department were conducting a traffic stop on a vehicle for improper registration ...

Officers spoke with the vehicle’s driver, Roy Porter, 57, who handed officers a packet that they thought was the registration of the vehicle, however, a small plastic bag fell out ...

Inside the bag, were “a couple pieces of crystal-like substance,” and officers led a K9 unit around the area of the vehicle to perform a free-air sniff which resulted in a positive indication ...

Porter was found to be in possession of 4 grams of meth, and a passenger in the vehicle, Jared Mayle, 21, of Salem, had 220 grams of meth, officers said ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.wvnstv.com/news/west-vi...meth-instead-of-registration-at-traffic-stop/
 

Police Arrest Burglar After He Accidentally Shoots Himself While Fleeing Scene of Break-In​


Police arrested a burglar on Wednesday after he accidentally shot himself in the head while fleeing the scene of a break-in in North Seattle.

A resident in the 8200 block of Mary Avenue Northwest heard sounds coming from his home just before 7 AM this morning and found a burglar had broken into his garage.

As the victim approached his garage, he saw the masked suspect, who turned and ran. The victim grabbed a broom and followed the suspect, who fled to a van in a nearby parking lot.

As the suspect was getting into the van, he pointed a gun at the victim and told him to get back. When he saw the gun, the victim turned around, and heard a gunshot moments later. The suspect in the van then sped away.

The victim returned home and called 911. Officers arrived on scene and began checking the area for evidence, and soon received a radio broadcast that a man had arrived at a First Hill hospital with a gunshot wound to his head.

Officers went to the hospital, found the injured man was wearing the same clothing as the suspect in the earlier burglary. Police believe the suspect accidentally fired his handgun while climbing into his van, striking himself in the head. Officers also learned the suspect’s van was reported stolen and had been used in another crime outside of Seattle. Additionally, the suspect is also a convicted felon, unable to legally possess firearms.

Once the suspect receives treatment for his injuries, police will book him into the King County Jail for burglary, unlawful possession of a firearm, felony harassment, and possession of a stolen vehicle.

https://spdblotter.seattle.gov/2022...oots-himself-while-fleeing-scene-of-break-in/

maximus otter
 
South Carolina man arrested after mistakenly texting police in attempt sell gun and drugs

After allegedly texting the "wrong number" on Monday, Tondavian Wilson, 31, found himself in a conversation with a deputy from the Chesterfield County Sheriff's Office when trying to sell guns and marijuana.

Deputies began a "text dialogue" with Wilson regarding prices for the firearm and the requested amount of marijuana.

Wilson then gave the sheriff's deputies an address which is located in Cheraw, South Carolina, where he was working.

When officials arrived, Wilson was carrying a pistol and a bag that contained more than 90 grams of marijuana, according to the sheriff's office.

The sheriff's office wrote Wilson was arrested and "dumbfounded by his obvious texting mistake."

https://www.foxnews.com/us/south-ca...in-attempt-sell-gun-and-drugs-authorities-say

maximus otter
 
Anonymous said:
That opens up some interesting questions, is she a victim or an accomplice? is she profiting from a crime? what crime has the culprit commited if he has not gained from it.
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I know you're joking, but as a former fraud investigator, I'll take the bait:

Theft Act 1968. It is an offence to dishonestly appropriate the property of another with the intention to permanently deprive them of it. The thief dishonestly appropriated the card and did not intend ever to return it to its owner. The theft was at the moment that the card was taken, rather than when it was used to place the bet.

Fraud Act 2006. It is a fraud to make false representations with the intent to make a gain for yourself, or to cause a loss to another, or to put another at risk of loss. The person used the card dishonestly presumably with intent to make a gain, and certainly knowing that it put the owner of the card at risk of loss. The fraud was committed at the moment the bet was made. There is no offence of "attempted fraud"; it is a fraud as soon as you make the attempt.

In reality, the prosecution would normally be under the Theft Act. The Fraud Act is not used nearly enough.

Clearly, the victim is not an accomplice as she did not willingly participate.

Yes, she has profited from the crime in one sense, although she has lost out in other senses: inconvenience, distress, etc. However, the bookie is no worse off than if the bet had been placed honestly, and would only garner bad publicity for trying to recover the money.

Lots of people profit honestly from the crime of others: for example, every locksmith who repairs or replaces a lock after a burglary.
 
Some habits apparently die hard ... Because this guy was caught on surveillance camera and immediately identified, I'm calling this a dumb criminal story.
Florida Man Robs Bank Next Day He Was Released From Prison After Serving 8-Year Sentence For Bank Robbery: Police

A Florida man who was released from prison Wednesday after serving an eight-year prison sentence for a 2013 bank robbery, decided to rob another bank Thursday, just one day after his release, local authorities said.

According to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office. Timothy Jones, 59, walked into Truist Bank on South Orange Blossom Trail and demanded $150,000 in $100 and $50 bills and that if he did not receive the money, he would shoot a banker. Afterward, deputies said he forcibly took a car — a dark-gray 2014 Toyota Camry — and fled the area, local station WTSP News reports.

Authorities wouldn’t say how much they believe he made off with. Orange County deputies say they believe it’s possible that Jones ditched the car and is traveling by bus. However, the car has not been found. ...
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FULL STORY: https://dailyboulder.com/florida-ma...ving-8-year-sentence-for-bank-robbery-police/
 
This criminal genius brandished a gun at a sex shop cashier, demanding all the cash in the till ... ... then grabbed a single sex toy and left without the money.
Man robs LA sex shop at gunpoint, steals sex toy

The Los Angeles Police Department is looking for a man who allegedly held up a sex shop at gunpoint and swiped an electronic masturbation toy. ...

Police say, on April 8. at roughly 10:50 p.m., a man wearing a surgical mask entered a sex shop near the intersection of Lincoln Boulevard and 84th Street in Los Angeles. The suspect then pulled a "blue-steel semi-automatic handgun," and aimed it at a sales associate. He then ordered her to hand over "all the money."

The man would walk over to the display case, grab a sex toy off the wall, and then walk out without the cash. ...
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FULL STORY (With Photos / Video): https://www.moderntimeslb.com/post/man-robs-la-sex-shop-at-gunpoint-steals-sex-toy
 
If you're going to lure an online dating contact to a meet-up (to rob him) it's a good idea to be better armed than he is.
Tampa dating app meetup ends in robbery attempt and homicide

A woman has been arrested on a murder charge after deputies say she set up a meeting that ended with her brother being shot and killed. ...

A Tampa woman is facing a murder charge after a person she tried to lure into a robbery through a dating app shot and killed her brother in self defense, Hillsborough County Sheriff’s officials said.

Tat’yana Mekeva Gaston, 23, was arrested Friday and charged with second-degree murder in connection with the May 31 shooting ...

Police say Gaston matched with a person on the dating app BLK posing as a 22-year-old woman named “Jada.” She asked the person, who is not named in court records, to meet her at Kain Palms Apartments, where her brother, Jermon Kennard, 18, was waiting nearby to rob the person ...

When a masked Kennard threatened the person with a knife, he shot Kennard with a gun that was concealed in his waistband. Kennard was taken to Tampa General Hospital, where he died of gunshot wounds to his head and chest, records state. ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.tampabay.com/news/crime...meet-up-ends-in-robbery-attempt-and-homicide/
 
Drunk mum left kids home alone to drive pal - then slathered herself in grease to escape police

Magen Hendry, 28, was drunk when she left her front door ajar and her children asleep at 3am on October 25, 2019. One child was of pre-school age and the other at primary school.

Teesside Crown Court has heard how police spotted Hendry's black Audi A9 driving dangerously, on Nelson Terrace in Stockton. Prosecutor Uzma Khan said that the car had no lights on and was seen going through red lights at the junction with Wellington Street; before driving through a second set of red lights at the junction with Victoria Street.

Ms Khan said that police following Hendry lost sight of her Audi, before it was picked up by CCTV abandoned in a car park on Durham Road. Hendry was seen crouching behind a wall.

She had covered herself in some sort of grease - thought to be vandal grease - in a bid to hide from police; and her bare feet were bleeding.

Ms Khan told the court that Hendry made a run for it, but was arrested after a short chase.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/drunk-mum-left-kids-home-24100671

maximus otter
 
maximus otter said:
Drunk mum left kids home alone to drive pal - then slathered herself in grease to escape police

Magen Hendry, 28, was drunk when she left her front door ajar and her children asleep at 3am on October 25, 2019. One child was of pre-school age and the other at primary school.

Teesside Crown Court has heard how police spotted Hendry's black Audi A9 driving dangerously, on Nelson Terrace in Stockton. Prosecutor Uzma Khan said that the car had no lights on and was seen going through red lights at the junction with Wellington Street; before driving through a second set of red lights at the junction with Victoria Street.

Ms Khan said that police following Hendry lost sight of her Audi, before it was picked up by CCTV abandoned in a car park on Durham Road. Hendry was seen crouching behind a wall.

She had covered herself in some sort of grease - thought to be vandal grease - in a bid to hide from police; and her bare feet were bleeding.

Ms Khan told the court that Hendry made a run for it, but was arrested after a short chase.

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/drunk-mum-left-kids-home-24100671

maximus otter
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Someone this stupid can afford an Audi A9?
 
If you're part of a gang who robs ATMs it's not a good idea to post YouTube videos in which you rap about robbing ATMs.
Man who raps about robbing ATMs arrested for robbing ATM

A man who raps about robbing ATMs was arrested for robbing an ATM. Ladesion Riley, 30, was one of four people arrested in Tennessee on Monday.

The Nashville Police Department says the four carried out a plot to rob an ATM technician as he serviced a Bank of America machine.

Darius Dugas, 27, Sashondre Dugas, 32, and Christopher Alton, 27, from Houston, Texas, were also arrested. The four were picked up just after they checked out of a motel.

Police say two of them approached the victim from behind and told him to not do anything stupid and hand over the money.

Detectives were able to determine that one of the getaway vehicles, a Hyundai Elantra, had been rented from Hertz. Using information provided by Hertz, detectives, with the assistance of aviation units, found the Hyundai and a maroon Jeep that accompanied it parked at the Motel 6 in Dickson.

Detectives watched as what appeared to be cash was loaded into the Jeep. When the Dugas couple and Riley pulled away from the motel in the Jeep, and as Alton drove away in the Hyundai, Dickson Police moved in with the assistance of the Nashville Police Department and the FBI.

The vehicles pulled over and the four were taken into custody without incident. ...

Riley performs under the name ‘213 Jugg god’ and has released music videos on YouTube.

His latest song is called "Make it Home" and refers to robbing ATMs. ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.fox10phoenix.com/news/man-who-raps-about-robbing-atms-arrested-for-robbing-atm
 
Three criminal geniuses robbed a Houston liquor store, having not considered the possibility the allegedly $4,200 bottle in the display case might be only a display decoy.
3 men rob liquor store in northwest Houston not realizing the bottle is only a decoy, police say

... On Monday at about 2 p.m., three men entered a liquor store located at the 2800 block of Katy Freeway.

The men inquired about a $4,200 bottle of liquor that was locked in a display case.

Investigators say an employee unlocked the display case and pulled out the bottle of liquor. One of the men then forcibly grabbed the bottle from the employee's hands and ran out of the store.

Meanwhile, a second suspect reached into the display case and removed another box of the same liquor, which he then dropped as he ran out of the store realizing that the box was empty.

The employee told investigators that the suspects got away with a decoy bottle (with very little value) and not the actual liquor bottle of $4,200 liquor, police said. ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crim...-bottle-is-only-a-decoy-police-say/ar-AAYkRbS
 
Drug Defendant Makes Terrible Wardrobe Choice

Alabama man wearing a t-shirt proclaiming “I’m Too Good for drugs!” was arrested for possessing methamphetamine and narcotics paraphernalia, police report.

allenburnett22.jpg


Allen Burnett, 60, was collared Thursday night near his home in Ashville, a small city about 45 miles from Birmingham.

Burnett was charged with a pair of drug counts and booked into the St. Clair County jail. He was released early yesterday morning after posting $3500 bond.

https://thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/too-good-for-drugs-759208

maximus otter
 
Man ‘shoots himself’ in botched murder plot

A 22-year-old man accidentally killed himself with a sawn off shotgun after a suspected revenge murder plot went horribly wrong, an inquest was told.

"On September 8, he swung the gun like an axe in a swinging motion onto the windscreen. He immediately collapsed to the floor and despite attendance of the ambulance service and police he was pronounced dead at the scene at 3.52pm. both the barrels of the shotgun discharged without the trigger being pulled due to the huge use of force exerted; in so doing and on impact the shotgun self-discharged.

Reece Ramsey-Johnson was found lying in a pool of blood with a gunshot wound to his chest outside a Lloyds bank in Sydenham, south east London, on September 8, 2019.

Police officers who attended the scene told Inner South London Coroner's Court that they saw Mr Ramsey-Johnson approach a blue Ford Fiesta with the gun, and hit the windscreen making a sound 'like thunder'.

A separate police investigation found that Mr Ramsey-Johnson had allegedly been working with three others to track down a man named Marley Lucas to try to kill him.

Lucas was acquitted by a jury in 2015 of the murder of Nathan Murray, a friend of Ramsey-Johnson's. He was instead convicted of manslaughter, stating that he killed out of self-defence.
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Man attempted to rob bookies with bin bag mask and 'cunning use of crisp packet'

A man who attempted to rob a bookies wearing a bin bag on his face and pretending to conceal a weapon under a crisp packet has been jailed.

Jimmy Dungey walked into the Coral Bookies on on West Auckland Road in Darlington, on the afternoon of May 28.

The 36-year-old then approached and raised his right hand towards the cashier who "froze in fear", as she believed he could have a weapon under the pink crisp packet.

The defendant then shouted "I'm being serious, put everything in the bag", however a manager quickly intervened and told him: "F*** off" before sounding the emergency alarm.

Once he realised the alarm had been pressed, Dungey was heard to say, "Oh f***" and walked out of the shop door.

Dungey was handed an 18-month prison sentence.

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/crime/man-attempted-rob-bookies-bin-27376112

maximus otter
 
A masked would-be robber walked into a bank and finds nobody on duty. He tries twice to jump or climb over the tellers' counter, but failed. He gave up and fled on a motorcycle.
Would-be bank robber wearing gas mask and GoPro camera leaves empty-handed

A man wearing a gas mask and a GoPro camera twice failed to scale the teller counter at a bank in Mercer County on Wednesday before riding off on a motorcycle, authorities said.

The man walked into TD Bank on State Road in Princeton at about 3:20 p.m. and approached the unoccupied teller counter, Princeton police said Thursday. Seeing no employee, the man tried to jump over the counter but wasn’t able to, according to Lt. Christopher Tash.

After the would-be robber tried and failed again, he left the bank and fled toward Princeton Avenue, Tash said. ...
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FULL STORY: https://www.nj.com/mercer/2022/07/w...ask-and-gopro-camera-leaves-empty-handed.html
 
What's that they say defines insanity? Doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result? ...

This Minnesota man was in court being sentenced to prison for escaping from custody. He then escaped from the courthouse, only to be re-captured within hours. Now he'll be facing additional escape charges (and probably additional prison time).
Bemidji man flees courtroom after being sentenced, police report

A man has been apprehended after authorities say he fled a courthouse after being sentenced to prison.

The Becker County Sheriff's Office says 25-year-old Alexander Robere, of Bemidji, reported to the county courthouse in Detroit Lakes around 2 p.m. Wednesday to be sentenced on an escape from custody charge for which he had posted bail.

After a judge handed Robere a 20-month sentence, he fled the second floor courtroom and ran out of the building ...

At about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday, authorities reported that Robare was arrested in Detroit Lakes without incident. He is currently in custody with additional charges expected.
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FULL STORY: https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/n...ody-flees-from-northern-minnesota-courthouse/
 
This Florida man didn't choose well when it came to getaway vehicles.
Man arrested after attempting to escape police on lawnmower

A Florida man was arrested Saturday after trying to outrun Okaloosa County deputies by putting his lawnmower into high gear.

Dusty Mobley, 40, is charged with grand theft, grand theft of a vehicle, felony criminal mischief, two counts of resisting an officer, possession of a concealed weapon by a felon, carrying a concealed handcuff key, possession of drug paraphernalia, as well as other felony charges after a warrant was served for his arrest Saturday ...

According to the Oklaloosa County Sheriff's Office, Mobley had previously fled deputies in Holt back on Jan. 3 by diving into a swamp along the Yellow River, after he was confronted about a $40,000 stolen boat. ...

During Friday's chase, deputies were able to successfully tase Mobley while he attempted to make his getaway on the lawnmower.

According to the sheriff's office, Mobley had a revolver and a handcuff key in his possession, along with a pipe with methamphetamine residue during his arrest. ...
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FULL STORY: https://ktul.com/news/nation-world/...empting-to-escape-police-on-lawnmower-florida
 

Thief who stole £20,000,000 from Tamara Ecclestone identified by dick pic​

Police began investigating what is the biggest domestic burglary in English legal history, scrupulously studying CCTV footage, which eventually led them to three suspects.

However, while they had images of the thieves, and had traced them to a hotel in St Mary Cray in Southeast London, officers had no clue who they actually were.
The hotel had supplied a number for guests for emergency use late at night and, as journalist Alexandra Jones explains, instead of ‘laying low’ one burglar made a very offensive error.

‘He does this typical creepy guy thing and sends a dick pic to this iPhone,’ Alexandra adds.

‘The receptionist saw it, blocked the number and saved it as “weirdo”.’

As well as sending the disgusting image, the suspect checked into his room with his identity card.

His name, coupled with the phone number, meant police were able to track the criminal, an Italian national named Jugoslav Jovanovic.

Alessandro Maltese, 45, and Alessandro Donati, 44, also admitted a plot to carry out the burglaries in west London, with all three given prison sentences.
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From a BBC programme.
 
hunck said:

Thief who stole £20,000,000 from Tamara Ecclestone identified by dick pic​

Police began investigating what is the biggest domestic burglary in English legal history, scrupulously studying CCTV footage, which eventually led them to three suspects.

However, while they had images of the thieves, and had traced them to a hotel in St Mary Cray in Southeast London, officers had no clue who they actually were.

From a BBC programme.
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That would be some identity parade :eek:
 

Criminal Gangs in Europe Are Blowing Up ATMs – and the Cash Inside​


Criminal gangs armed with explosives are stalking the ATMs of the Netherlands, Belgium and northern Germany each night, hoping to find an unprotected machine to blast open and rob.

On Sunday night a gang tried to hit a shop in east Amsterdam with an ATM inside despite the building being locked behind metal grates at 2:30 AM.

“There was an initial bomb to break into the building, then another charge set against the ATM,” said a police official without permission to speak to media.

“They can’t work out the proper charge for the bomb and keep blowing up the fucking money,” said the cop.

https://www.vice.com/en/article/93ab4e/europe-atms-blown-up

- And my countdown clock is running...

maximus otter
 
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