The World's Dumbest Criminals

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
4,141
Possibly not criminal (are there laws against this?), but certainly stupid:

Jerusalem area man lets dog ‘drive’ car, is arrested​

An Israeli man who filmed his dog “driving” his car was arrested Monday after the video was publicized on social media platforms.

The 35-year-old, a resident of the Arab village of Ein Naqquba near Jerusalem, uploaded the video of his dog standing in his lap with the animal’s two front paws holding the steering wheel as they navigate through narrow streets.
https://www.timesofisrael.com/jerusalem-man-lets-dog-drive-car-is-arrested/
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
9,265
Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
Possibly not criminal (are there laws against this?)
I think you'd have to ask if the dog had a licence and whether or not the insurance covered the dog to drive that vehicle?

Something something something barking up the wrong tree something something ruff justice something something paws for thought etc.
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
28,988
Location
Out of Bounds
This San Antonio criminal genius already had multiple warrants outstanding against him. He drew attention (both police and medical) after deciding to shoot a gun in the middle of the night and hitting himself in the ass.
Police: Man arrested on multiple warrants after accidentally shooting self in buttocks

San Antonio police arrested a man wanted with outstanding warrants after he was found shot in the buttocks. ...

When officers arrived, they found a 31-year-old man with a single gunshot wound to the buttock.

Based on witness statements, SAPD determined that the man had fired shots in the air and accidentally shot himself.

The man was transported to an area hospital for treatment.

According to SAPD, the man is in stable condition and has been placed under arrest for outstanding warrants.
FULL STORY: https://www.ksat.com/news/local/202...after-accidentally-shooting-self-in-buttocks/
 

Trevp666

It was like that when I got here.........honest!!!
Joined
May 29, 2009
Messages
9,265
Location
Welwyn Garden City (but oddly, not an actual city)
How can you accidentally shoot yourself in the arse when firing into the air?
 

EnolaGaia

I knew the job was dangerous when I took it ...
Staff member
Joined
Jul 19, 2004
Messages
28,988
Location
Out of Bounds
Indications are strong that this Michigan mastermind stole scratch-off lottery tickets from a convenience store, then went to another local store location to try and redeem one of the stolen tickets that turned out to be a winner.
Suspect tried redeeming $100-winning lottery ticket he allegedly stole in Auburn store burglary

An Auburn man has been charged with breaking into a local convenience store to steal scratch-off lottery tickets, one of which he allegedly tried to redeem when it proved to be a $100 winner.

About 1:35 a.m. on Sept. 9, Michigan State Police troopers responded to a burglary alarm at JoJo’s Refresh Shop, 401 W. Midland Road in Auburn. ...

The footage showed a man wearing a hooded sweatshirt, mask, gloves, and gray pants enter the store, walk behind the register, and steal scratch-off lottery tickets, two packs of Camel Crush cigarettes, and $50 in cash ...

... The man had apparently gone to another Auburn store and tried cashing in a $100-winning lottery ticket but was rebuffed when staff there told him there was a technical problem with their system and it could not be redeemed ...

Police developed 40-year-old Daniel C. Stellmacher II as a suspect and went to his home, located about a half-mile from JoJo’s. Asked about the ticket he tried redeeming, Stellmacher said he had found it on the ground. He insisted he had not been the one who burglarized JoJo’s, saying he was sleeping at the time.

Troopers obtained a search warrant and executed it at Stellmacher’s home. They found a ticket matching one of those stolen from JoJo’s, as well as a wheelchair covered in the flaky material that is scratched off lottery tickets ...
FULL STORY: https://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw-...allegedly-stole-in-auburn-store-burglary.html
 

Bad Bungle

Tutti but not Frutti.
Joined
Oct 13, 2018
Messages
3,830
Location
The Chilterns
Possibly not criminal (are there laws against this?), but certainly stupid:

Jerusalem area man lets dog ‘drive’ car, is arrested​


https://www.timesofisrael.com/jerusalem-man-lets-dog-drive-car-is-arrested/
That immediately reminds me of this headline
(sorry, no link)

God.jpg
 

hunck

Antediluvian
Joined
Jul 13, 2011
Messages
7,816
Location
Hobbs End

Police catch serial burglar due to his love for SpongeBob SquarePants

Police in Tulsa, Oklahoma say the suspect’s love for the beloved children’s cartoon is what helped them catch Edward Price, also known as ‘Smacc Man’ on September 16 for multiple burglaries at his apartment complex.

Five separate burglaries have been reported at the complex since July, the Tulsa Police Department said in a Facebook post. All of the reported robberies were similar in nature, police said, noting that the suspect in each would kick in the apartment’s door before stealing electronics, televisions and guns from each home.
During several of the robberies, Price was spotted fleeing the scene wearing SpongeBob-themed shorts and SpongeBob socks.

When Price later took to Facebook Marketplace to try and sell some of the stolen items, the same SpongeBob shorts and socks could be seen in the background of the pictures.

After getting a search warrant for Price’s apartment, police found the two SpongeBob-themed articles of clothing that fit the description in his possession.

Authorities then discovered stolen televisions, phones, iPads, tablets, guns, ammunition, internet routers and other electronic devices that Price had seemingly taken from several of his neighbor’s apartments.

Price has been charged with three counts of second-degree burglary, knowing concealing stolen property and possession of a firearm. According to Tulsa police, Price is a formerly convicted felon.
1663878507770.png
 

Lord Lucan

Justified & Ancient
Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Messages
4,141
He'll be a hard one to track down!

Man with ‘BEAST’ tattooed across forehead wanted over outstanding warrant​

Police are appealing for public assistance to help locate him.

beast.jpg

A man with the word “BEAST” prominently tattooed across his forehead is being sought on an outstanding warrant, police say.

Jaimes Sutton is known to visit the town of Deniliquin in the Riverina region of NSW, near the Victorian border.

Sutton has distinctive tattoos covering his entire face, and on his neck, including the word “BEAST” on his forehead.
https://7news.com.au/news/nsw/man-w...ead-wanted-over-outstanding-warrant-c-8381147
 

Mythopoeika

I am a meat popsicle
Joined
Sep 18, 2001
Messages
48,153
Location
Inside a starship, watching puny humans from afar
He doesn't look like the sharpest knife in the drawer, so catching him should be easy (apart from the stupid tattoo).
 

brownmane

off kilter
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
2,431
Location
Ontario, Canada

Bigphoot2

Not sprouts! I hate sprouts.
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
10,811
"Nothing wrong officer, I just overdid the viagra."

Man caught trying to stuff six-litre Tennent’s keg down trousers on shop CCTV​

Staff at the Avi’s Nisa Local store in Glasgow couldn’t quite believe their eyes when they spotted the opportunistic man on their CCTV.



NEWS
By
Sarah VestyReporter
  • 04:30, 30 SEP 2022
  • UPDATED07:10, 30 SEP 2022

A man has been caught on camera trying to shove a six-litre keg of Tennent’s lager down his trousers at a Glasgow convenience store. Staff at the Avi’s Nisa Local store on Craigbank Drive, Nitshill, couldn’t quite believe their eyes when they spotted the would-be thief on their CCTV.
Still images from the footage show the hooded man standing next to an open fridge while appearing to attempt to hide the booze barrel down the front of his jogging bottoms. It is understood that police are investigating the incident, which took place on Wednesday, September 28, after staff called in the cops.
https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/man-caught-trying-stuff-six-28107495
 
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