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The World's Dumbest Criminals

Threw away the bottle worth $1.3m! Now thats dumb!

A stolen bottle of vodka thought to be the world's most expensive at $1.3m (£960,000) has been found empty on a construction site, Danish police say.

The bottle, made from gold and silver and with a diamond encrusted cap, was on loan to a Copenhagen bar which had a collection of vodkas on display.

CCTV released on Wednesday showed an intruder, who grabbed the Russo-Baltique vodka and fled the bar.

The bottle was found unbroken on a construction site in the city.

"I don't know what happened with the vodka, but the bottle was empty", Riad Tooba, spokesman for the Copenhagen police, told AFP news agency. ...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42587038
 
All they have to do is fill it back up. One voddy tastes like another.
 
I thought about posting this to the 'Great Acts of Stupidity' thread, but the inevitability of prosecution on grand theft and drug charges recommends it for this thread ...

Lawyer: Hotel valet gave his $300,000 Ferrari to wrong man
The owner of a $300,000 Ferrari is suing Marriott International, saying a hotel valet gave his keys to a young man who was trying to impress a woman he just met.

... James “Skip” Fowler parked his yellow 458 Italia Spider outside the Vinoy Renaissance Resort & Golf Club last July 27 while attending a lawyer’s convention in St. Petersburg.

There the 2014 Ferrari remained for more than 12 hours, until Levi Miles, then 28, showed up. Miles said he told the woman it was his and demanded the keys, telling the valet that the ticket was in the car and he’d bring it back. He never did. ...

Miles drove off with Chloe Rimmer in the passenger seat until an officer stopped him for driving without taillights. The police report noted that the driver had “difficulty” handling the car, that cocaine was found on the center console, and that Rimmer had marijuana in her purse. ...

“I was just trying to impress the girl I just met at the Vinoy,” he told officers.

But Miles says he’s innocent of grand theft, because the valet gave him the keys. He also faces charges of cocaine possession and habitually driving with a suspended or revoked license. Rimmer faces a charge of marijuana possession.

Fowler, meanwhile is accusing the hotel and valet, 717 Parking Enterprises, of negligence. He said had to spend “significant sums” on car inspections, repairs and legal fees after he got his Ferrari back, and that its value had been “diminished.”

SOURCE: https://apnews.com/ecaba9a1b12540ba...-valet-gave-his-$300,000-Ferrari-to-wrong-man
 
Drunk car vandal with sports commentary play by play

"On Wednesday, January 31, 2018, KIRO Radio captured surveillance footage of a vandal trying to break in to one of our employee's vehicles in our parking lot. While the suspect is still at large, we took the liberty to have John Curley give his play-by-play of the incident."

 
A gangster has gone three weeks without a bowel movement in an alleged attempt to stop police finding drugs he swallowed.

The man was arrested in Harlow, Essex, on January 17, and is charged with two counts of possessing Class A drugs with intent to supply. He is accused of swallowing a drugs stash, and is being kept in custody.

Super-Poo.jpg


Officers have been tweeting updates of what they have described as "poo watch".

Police said they would continue to apply to court for custody extensions until the man goes for a poo.

#London gang nominal arrested for failing to stop for police and possession with intent to supply class A drugs, male doesn’t think we have the power to keep him until he removes said items from his bottom, #thinkagain #opraptor pic.twitter.com/oThvqtRrwc

— Op Raptor West (@OpRaptorWest) January 17, 2018


The unit said that Wednesday was day 21 "for our man on #poowatch", adding: "Still no movements/items to report, he will remain with us until Friday when we are back at court where we will be requesting a further eight days should he not produce anything before that hearing."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...llowing-drugs-goes-three-weeks-without-bowel/

maximus otter
 
Lamarr Chambers up to 26 days without releasing his bowels.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5562443/suspect-day-26-of-no-poo-protest-class-a-drugs/

Meanwhile Jacques Cassandri, wrongly calculated he would not be punished for his crime memoir.
He thought statute of limitations had have expired on a 1976 bank heist, but is in court over money laundering charges resulting from the heist after writing a memoir on his role in it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...ds-trial-frances-heist-century-blowing-cover/
 
Lamarr Chambers up to 26 days without releasing his bowels.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5562443/suspect-day-26-of-no-poo-protest-class-a-drugs/

Meanwhile Jacques Cassandri, wrongly calculated he would not be punished for his crime memoir.
He thought statute of limitations had have expired on a 1976 bank heist, but is in court over money laundering charges resulting from the heist after writing a memoir on his role in it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...ds-trial-frances-heist-century-blowing-cover/

I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him when he does release them.
 
He's got 2 choices - 'die' or 'diarrhoea'.
 
A gangster has gone three weeks without a bowel movement in an alleged attempt to stop police finding drugs he swallowed.

The man was arrested in Harlow, Essex, on January 17, and is charged with two counts of possessing Class A drugs with intent to supply. He is accused of swallowing a drugs stash, and is being kept in custody.

Super-Poo.jpg


Officers have been tweeting updates of what they have described as "poo watch".

Police said they would continue to apply to court for custody extensions until the man goes for a poo.

#London gang nominal arrested for failing to stop for police and possession with intent to supply class A drugs, male doesn’t think we have the power to keep him until he removes said items from his bottom, #thinkagain #opraptor pic.twitter.com/oThvqtRrwc

— Op Raptor West (@OpRaptorWest) January 17, 2018


The unit said that Wednesday was day 21 "for our man on #poowatch", adding: "Still no movements/items to report, he will remain with us until Friday when we are back at court where we will be requesting a further eight days should he not produce anything before that hearing."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...llowing-drugs-goes-three-weeks-without-bowel/

maximus otter

Update: It's now 33 days!

When he finally unclenches there's going to be a mushroom cloud...

maximus otter
 
Surely after a while you cant hold it in, isnt it natural, your body forces it out, and if he has them in his bowels wont the bags corrode or be squished by poo tightening around them then pop ??????
 
if he has them in his bowels wont the bags corrode r be squished by poo tightening around them then pop ??????

I'm surprised there hasn't been medical intervention regarding just this possibility (or rather likelihood at this stage).
 
Personal overshare here: when I had shingles, I didn't do a poo for over a week until I had to take a laxative, which did the trick. So what's stopping the authorities doing that to their prisoner? It's not as if he's hiding anything by now.
 
Surely after a while you cant hold it in, isnt it natural, your body forces it out, and if he has them in his bowels wont the bags corrode or be squished by poo tightening around them then pop ??????
We can only hope.
 
A while back, I wasn't able to go for about 2 weeks. Doc gave me a laxative which was basically wood preservative (Polyethylene Glycol).
 
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