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The World's Dumbest Criminals

Man who rapped about killing girlfriend charged with her murder

A California man who was caught on video earlier this month rapping about killing his girlfriend has been charged for doing just that.

Robert-Camou-rap-video.jpg


Robert Camou, 27, was indicted on capital murder charges Wednesday — weeks after being arrested in downtown Los Angeles on a warrant related to an old domestic violence case.
He had been accused of beating and strangling his girlfriend, Amanda Custer, 31, on April 22.


Custer went missing in late July — with authorities now suspecting that Camou killed her on July 29 while he was out on bail for the April attack. Her body has yet to be found.

Performing at an open-mic at the King Eddy saloon in LA, Camou told patrons: “I kill my b—h and bury that b—-h in the f–king dirt.”
“The cops trying to look for me and I’m f–king trying to shut my mouth
,” he added.


Authorities said the video was captured just hours after they arrested Camou and found blood and “evidence of an assault” at his home. Witnesses reported seeing him put Custer’s “lifeless” body in the back of his Prius that same night.

Camou faces life in prison or death if convicted.

https://apple.news/Aht7ZTfEQS-a4KOUjit-4fg

maximus otter
 
Banged to rights. Evidence an' all.
 
Drunk woman calls cops to report a drunk driver - herself ... :roll:
Intoxicated Utah woman called police to report drunk driver

A Utah woman has been sentenced to jail time after calling 911 to report a possible drunk driver while she was intoxicated.

Court documents show 32-year-old Breanna Dawn Hernandez called police on August 16 to report a possible drunk driver in Woods Cross.

When police pressed her for more information, the woman gave her own license plate and started laughing on the phone.

Police arrested Hernandez and charged her with a DUI and having an open container in her vehicle. Officers found an almost empty bottle of Fireball whiskey in her car.

Hernandez pleaded guilty on Tuesday to the DUI charge. She will serve 12 days in jail and be on probation for 12 months.
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/774b11a1d33d4c7f9405e39c0a124d77
 
"Captain America" Caught Trying To Burglarize Mississippi Property

A man wearing a Captain America costume was arrested for burglary after a Mississippi homeowner caught the phony superhero breaking into a shed on his property, cops report.

captcollared1.jpg


David Hobbs, 36, was collared early Monday morning as he allegedly tried to use a pipe to break into a shed at the rear of a residence in the city of Clarksdale.

Hobbs was thwarted when an alarm alerted the homeowner to the attempted 3 AM burglary. The victim held Hobbs at gunpoint until police arrived.

For some unknown reason, Hobbs was wearing a Captain America costume, complete with mask.

His outfit also included fairy wings, apparently for a quick getaway.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/burglary/captain-america-collared-485609

maximus otter
 
Thieves steal till – from cash free restaurant
By Laurie Churchman @lauriechurchmanReporter



THIEVES broke into a vegan restaurant and made off with the cash register – only to find the business was cash free.
Staff at Brighton’s plant-based pizzeria Purezza said they were “baffled”.
Manager Anna Kearney-Greig, 34, said: “We’re completely cashless. We don’t have any money on site – it’s all electronic.
etc
https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/179...P2YYSLJ4B5UGAgpN5C5QAy5XVsp2M1z6NJ_le98dO7syc
 
I debated whether this was a Strange Crimes or Dumbest Criminals story, but decided it was criminal action and extremely dumb.

This woman worked at the deli in a local grocery store. It's not clear whether she was adulterating dip being sold to customers versus contaminating some dip she'd skimmed off for herself.

Oregon woman charged with serving meth-laced bean dip

An Oregon woman is under arrest after police say she shared bean dip with an extra ingredient: methamphetamine.

Cassandra Medina-Hernandez gave some of the meth-laced dip to a fellow employee in the deli of the grocery store where she worked, according to a news release from the Marion County Sheriff's office.

The co-worker began feeling ill, went to the hospital, and was told the dip might have been contaminated with meth, deputies said. A least one other employee might have eaten some of the dip, deputies said, but they don't think any customers did.

Medina-Hernandez was charged with unlawful delivery of methamphetamine, recklessly endangering another person, and causing another person to ingest a controlled substance. ...
SOURCE: https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/28/us/meth-laced-bean-dip-trnd/index.html
 
An Alabama woman concerned that her methamphetamine may have been tainted with another drug asked police to test her stash, a service request that resulted in her arrest for possession of a controlled substance.

jenniferhallmeth19.jpg


Cops report that Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, called police dispatch Wednesday seeking assistance.

When Limestone County Sheriff's Office deputies subsequently arrived at Hall’s residence in Toney, a Huntsville suburb, she presented them with a clear plastic bag she had removed from a baby wipes container.

“I want this dope tested,” declared Hall, who added that she was concerned that her speed was somehow tainted.

The baggie proffered by Hall contained meth, cops report. As a result, Hall, seen above, was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and booked into the county jail. She is being held in lieu of $2500 bail.

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/alabama/meth-test-arrest-215760

maximus otter
 
I debated whether this was a Strange Crimes or Dumbest Criminals story, but decided it was criminal action and extremely dumb.

This woman worked at the deli in a local grocery store. It's not clear whether she was adulterating dip being sold to customers versus contaminating some dip she'd skimmed off for herself.


SOURCE: https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/28/us/meth-laced-bean-dip-trnd/index.html


The co-worker began feeling ill, went to the hospital, and was told the dip might have been contaminated with meth, deputies said. A least one other employee might have eaten some of the dip, deputies said, but they don't think any customers did.

It might have been contaminated? This all seems fishy to me.
 
I"m putting this under Dumbest Criminals because I don't see how hiding in the victimized business's ceiling is anything but a dumb move - expecially since she'd already been "made" as a suspect and was being pursued.
Woman hides in store’s ceiling to avoid shoplifting arrest

A Florida woman faces multiple charges after authorities say she climbed into the ceiling of a Big Lots store to avoid a shoplifting arrest.

A Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office news release says 37-year-old Kristina Perkins went into the store’s restroom on Friday and removed some tiles so she could climb into the ceiling.

Deputies removed tiles from several spots in a five-hour effort to catch Perkins. The news release says she ignored commands to come down and instead moved to other sections of the ceiling. A deputy stayed behind when the search was called off and saw Perkins climbing down from the ceiling.

She was arrested on charges of criminal mischief, petit theft and resisting law enforcement. ...

SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/62f31a319d99498c84d34c9f4d81867a

A Florida woman faces multiple charges after authorities say she climbed into the ceiling of a Big Lots store to avoid a shoplifting arrest.

A Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office news release says 37-year-old Kristina Perkins went into the store’s restroom on Friday and removed some tiles so she could climb into the ceiling.

Deputies removed tiles from several spots in a five-hour effort to catch Perkins. The news release says she ignored commands to come down and instead moved to other sections of the ceiling. A deputy stayed behind when the search was called off and saw Perkins climbing down from the ceiling.

She was arrested on charges of criminal mischief, petit theft and resisting law enforcement. ...
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/62f31a319d99498c84d34c9f4d81867a
 
Sort of guy who use a powerhose to wash windows.

Thief blows himself up as he plants explosives on a cash machine in Russia
  • 37-year-old robber tried to hack the Sberbank ATM in Russian city Cherepovets
  • The thief's homemade bomb exploded as he attached it and he died instantly
  • The blast was so powerful that a nearby door was thrown 35 feet down the road
By WILL STEWART IN MOSCOW FOR MAILONLINE

PUBLISHED: 12:28, 9 October 2019 | UPDATED: 12:49, 9 October 2019

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7554087/Thief-blows-plants-explosives-cash-machine-Russia.html
 
Alaska Police say a woman called them Monday, Sept. 30, to say she'd found an SD card that contained video of a homicide. The woman told police she'd found the SD card in the street in Fairview.

Anchorage Police say 48-year-old Brian Steven Smith has been arrested on a charge of first-degree murder in the death of the woman.

BA5P5PJ52FD4HGI36ZRAFDRINA.jpg


According to charging documents, the SD card was labeled "Homicide at midtown Marriott." The memory card contained 39 images and 12 videos showing the progression of a crime.

Two days later, on Oct. 2, officers were called to Milepost 108 of the Seward Highway, where human remains were found. Police now believe the remains are of the woman shown in the video.

Police have identified the victim as 30-year-old Kathleen J. Henry.

investigators were able to quickly identify the suspect in the video because detectives were familiar with him from a separate ongoing investigation. They would specify neither the nature of the separate investigation nor Smith's role in it.

According to the charging documents, after police obtained a warrant for Smith's cell phone records, they were able to trace his location to the area where the human remains were found within minutes of when the last still image on the SD card was created.

https://www.ktuu.com/content/news/M...-found-in-street-showing-video-562639431.html

maximus otter
 
  • he thief's homemade bomb exploded as he attached it and he died instantly
  • The blast was so powerful that a nearby door was thrown 35 feet down the road

The implication here is that if THAT happened to the door, how did HE end up?
That's the Mail for you.
 
Maybe the most accurate futurists were Cheech and Chong ...
Deputies ask man to quit calling about his stolen marijuana

Authorities say a Florida man repeatedly called 911 to report that his roommate had stolen his marijuana.

A deputy for the Pasco County Sheriff’s Office posted a Twitter response to the man’s calls Saturday night: Stop calling.

Deputy Neal Zalva says in the Twitter video that he called the man back to tell him to quit contacting the sheriff’s office about his stolen marijuana. Zalva recorded the video as part of the agency’s #TweetAlong program, which allows viewers to get a behind-the-scenes look at the police work by the deputies.

Recreational marijuana use remains illegal in Florida.

A sheriff’s office spokesman says no charges were filed against the caller.

Sheriff’s office communications director Kevin Doll said Tuesday they just wanted the man to stop calling about the stolen weed.
SOURCE: https://www.apnews.com/24f62c5d8b374717bb8c7a1cf97835e6
 
He should have been wearing a turtleneck ...
Man with own name tattooed on neck arrested for falsely ID’ing himself

The ink didn’t lie.

Mattoon police arrested a 36-year-old Illinois man for giving officers a fake name, despite having his real name tattooed on his neck.

Matthew C. Bushman, of Mansfield, had a warrant out for his arrest when officers booked him on Oct. 11 for obstructing justice. A police mugshot shows the “Matty B” tattoo across his throat.

Police said they were investigating a forgery when Bushman gave them a false name and date of birth in an attempt to dodge a warrant out of Peoria County. ...
SOURCE: https://fox43.com/2019/10/17/man-wi...medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark
 
This guy is either one of the dumber criminals or an equally dumb victim of a criminal scam. I'm thinking it's the former ...
Nebraska man tries to open bank account with fake $1M bill

Police are searching for a man who walked into a bank in Nebraska this week and tried to open a checking account with a fake $1 million bill.

Staff at the Pinnacle Bank branch in Lincoln reported the Monday morning incident to police. The Lincoln Journal Star reports that bank employees say the man was adamant that the bill was real despite tellers’ attempts to convince him otherwise.

The man eventually left with the bill, but without a new account.

Police are reviewing surveillance video to try to identify the man. Police say they want to check on his welfare and make sure he was not the victim of a crime.

The largest denomination note ever issued for public circulation was the $10,000 bill.
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/d73f0dd133f448b6b8064ca2a79a0f83
 
Poor sod, could have mental health issues and, did the bank not get the guys name? You would have thought they would ask him for his name and that they had to get a manager to clear it and while they were out of view could have gotten someone to call the police while they went back and kept him at the window.
 
The world is full of fucking idiots and this thread confirms it everytime I visit. Another addition...

Man wearing 'It's not a crime unless you get caught' shirt gets caught on security cam committing crime

CRYSTAL CITY, Mo. — You can file this story under "proof irony isn't dead."

On Oct. 22, a man walked into the Twin City Coin Laundry in Crystal City, Missouri, wearing a T-shirt with an interesting motto, considering what he did next.

While wearing a shirt that said "It's not a crime unless you get caught," the man proceeded to break into a vending machine and make off with 15 pounds of change and cash in full view of an HD security camera.
Source: https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/c...aught/63-c02ff6c5-dbe7-4eda-b427-f15cac94d4e5
 
Trying to pass a $1 million dollar bill is one thing but yesterday I witnessed a sign of the times at a Cheetham Hill supermarket.

When a woman proffered a £50 note, the cashier had to have it verified by the supervisor. It then became the sole occupant of that part of the cash-drawer. I could not help but wonder if this is routine in all Tesco stores or only in those where the larger denomination notes are like hens' teeth! :confused:
 
A man who attempted to smuggle cannabis into prison by hiding it in a balloon up his nose has retrieved the drugs more than 18 years later, after mistakenly believing he had swallowed the package.

the patient was first given the cannabis inside a rubber balloon when his girlfriend visited him in prison.

The man inserted the package into his right nostril to hide it from the prison guards and smuggle it into the facility.

However he was unable to retrieve it once he slipped past them, and eventually mistakenly believed that he had accidentally swallowed it.

Over the next two decades the balloon developed into a rhinolith, a stone in the nasal cavity formed as calcium and magnesium salts slowly built up around the rubber.

This caused the patient regular sinus infections and frequent complaints about nasal obstructions, but it wasn't until these developed into painful headaches that he sought treatment.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.s...r-he-tried-to-smuggle-it-into-prison-11849973

maximus otter
 
10,000 dollar bill..?

Blimey.!!!

Sod mistaking that for a 10 pound note when buying a couple of pints. :boozing:

W.C. Fields to bartender: "Was I in here last night, and did I spend a $20 bill?"
Bartender: "Yes."
W.C. Fields: "Oh, what a load that is off my mind! I thought I'd lost it . . ."
 
"The Devil Suckered Me Into It ..."
Louisiana Man, 27, Tells Cops That The Devil Set Him Up In Meth Case

Meet Franklin Redfearn.

After the bug-eyed Louisianan, 27, was arrested Friday evening for narcotics possession, he told cops “the devil framed him.”

Responding to a 911 call about a suspicious person, police found Redfearn standing on a porch of a residence in West Monroe. According to a police report, Redfearn lives about 20 miles away in the town of Eros.

As a sheriff’s deputy approached him, Redfearn allegedly threw a white pill bottle containing methamphetamine into the yard.

After being read his rights, Redfearn “stated the devil framed him.” Despite that compelling explanation, Redfearn was arrested on a felony narcotics possession count and booked into the local jail, where he is being held on $3000 bond.

Redfearn appears to be the sole individual charged in the meth case, according to court records that do not name any codefendants or personifications of evil.

SOURCE: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/devil/devil-framed-him-275809
 
This must be the meth moronic season ... It's risky enough to be transporting 43 pounds of the stuff, but having some of it laying out in plain sight is just "asking for it" ... :doh:

A driver was arrested with $1.9 million worth of meth in plain view, authorities say

A driver was arrested in Arizona after he was found with meth worth more than $1.9 million in plain sight during a traffic stop, authorities said.

Israel Tellez-Nava, 35, of Las Vegas, was arrested Thursday for transportation of dangerous drugs for sale, possession of dangerous drugs, and possession of dangerous drugs for sale, the Mohave County Sheriff's Office said in a statement.

Authorities conducted the traffic stop on Interstate 40 in Kingman. Tellez-Nava was the sole occupant of the vehicle, the sheriff's office said.

Detectives saw bundles of methamphetamine in plain view and arrested him on scene, authorities said.

"A further search of the vehicle resulted in three large (boxes) containing a total of 43 pounds of methamphetamine with an estimated street value of over 1.9 million dollars," the Mohave County Sheriff's Office said in a written statement. ...

SOURCE: https://www.cnn.com/2019/11/24/us/arizona-meth-arrest-trnd/index.html
 
The only thing more likely to terminate your job than calling in drunk is to show up anyway and try to rob your workplace ... :doh: :roll:
Police: Man called out of work drunk, tried to rob workplace

Police in Georgia say a man called out of his Steak ’n Shake job because he was “intoxicated,” then showed up anyway and demanded money while holding a co-worker at gunpoint.

The Gainesville Times reports 20-year-old Kentarias Gowans, of Flowery Branch, is charged with offenses including aggravated assault. Oakwood Police investigator Todd Templeton says Gowans called out on Thanksgiving, went to the restaurant that night, held a gun to a co-worker’s head and demanded money.

Police say responding officers arrived to see employees running from the business, which had customers at the time. Police say an apparently still intoxicated Gowans briefly raised the gun at officers before dropping it. He was arrested after a brief struggle during which a stun gun was used. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/9bd88df42ac14933bf8eb270088873b6
 
Here's a new form of "home invasion" ...

I thought about putting this in Strange Crimes, but I finally decided you have to be pretty dumb to think you could get away with moving into a house with forged lease documentation.

Deputies: Woman used fake lease to move into Arizona home

An Arizona woman is facing charges after authorities said she faked a lease agreement and moved into a home without the homeowner’s permission.

KPHO-TV reports Stephanie Heinrich was arrested last month after Yavapai County Sheriff’s deputies found her moving into a home without permission.

Deputies say they found the 45-year-old Heinrich and her boyfriend unloading a moving truck outside a Prescott, Arizona, home. Heinrich showed deputies an 11-year lease agreement.

After deputies got a search warrant, Heinrich admitted that she forged and downloaded all of the forms off of the internet because she didn’t want her boyfriend to know they were in financial trouble.

She was booked at the Camp Verde Detention Center on fraud charges and ordered held on a $75,000 bond. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/4ce2e0d87813bfe33deb1a3f8e7afaad
 
Felonious acts committed for training purposes are still felonies ... :doh: :roll:
Police: Subway worker robbed shop to teach ‘a lesson’

An employee of a New Mexico Subway sandwich shop is facing charges after police say she robbed the place to teach another worker “a lesson.”

Lorena Ariana Marin, 22, and her alleged accomplice Angelo Rey Espinosa, 19, were arrested Monday night following reports of a robbery in Las Cruces, New Mexico, the Las Cruces Sun-News reports.

Police said Espinosa allegedly stood by while Marin verbally and physically threatened the employees after hopping behind the counter. They ushered the employees to the back of the store, but one employee ran to her car and got away.

Marin told officers she committed the robbery “to teach one of the employees a lesson about what could happen late at night in that part of town.” Marin and Espinosa are facing robbery charges. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/f9f0446f3043a9fb35a118171ef7d556
 
I remember two dumb criminal stories from my younger days. The first was a cutting from the South London Press recounting the court reporting of an Irish fellah who was obviously clothed in the the outfit of a construction worker trying to pass himself of as a Dr J someone or other with a stolen credit card. After alerting security the shop attendant was playing for time telling the Irish man he was waiting for telephone approval of the transaction (remember those days?) and tried engaging the suspect in a bit of banter; he asked your man what the J on the card stood for? George was the reply! :p

The second was seeing a guy, obviously very drunk, stagger across the Walworth Road and lob a lump of something through a shop window, presumably with the hope of nicking something from the display. On the second attempt he punched a hole in the glass...at the very top of the window! He would have needed 8foot arms to get them in the hole and down enough to grab something.
 
Unless this story turns out to involve a major hoax or a very cunning diversion, this guy qualifies for inclusion in our Dumbest Criminals thread ...
Georgia man arrested after calling police 3 times to confess

A man apparently felt so bad about breaking the law that he called police three times to confess, according to police in Georgia.

Lt. Tim Watkins of the Thomas County Sheriff’s Office told the Thomasville Times-Enterprise that a man called at 5 a.m. Friday to say he had stolen a car in Thomasville and was about 12 miles (20 kilometers) away in the smaller town of Boston.

A Boston police officer went looking for the Chevrolet Impala and 29-year-old Quent Rashed Lankford, but could find neither. Lankford called back again, and finally called a third time to say he had broken into a convenience store and was drinking beer.

“He wanted to confess and turn himself in,” Watkins said. “He called three times.”

That was enough for Boston police to track down and arrest Lankford. The car was later found in Thomasville.

Lankford was charged with second-degree burglary, and theft charges are pending. ...
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/f29263f6ea26b0e0e13916f65484ab6d
 
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