They Fuck You Up, Your Mum & Dad

[ramonmercado]

Mr Rees-Mogg is wealthy, is he not?

Very! His family are good at getting State benefits though: got £7.5 million to do up their stately pile.

 

[Yithian]

Very! His family are good at getting State benefits though: got £7.5 million to do up their stately pile.

Rees-Mogg also has a lovely home, but that one isn't his--belongs to his in-laws.

 

[ramonmercado]

Rees-Mogg also has a lovely home, but that one isn't his--belongs to his in-laws.

Still though, £7.5 million would have paid a lot of benefits.

 

[Mungoman]

It's funny how people forget these old remedies that sound dodgy but actually work.
The first knee-jerk reaction is 'turpentine - isn't that toxic?', but it has been used as a cure back in olden times.

A sterling remedy for bronchitis when I were a child was to put head over brazier wi' tar in bucket bein' melted down for roads...and then there is castor oil whose origins harbour that intense poison ricin...(nowt wrong w'r'im, just needs a good dollop o' opening medisen - that'll fettle the young bugger!)

 

[Mythopoeika]

A sterling remedy for bronchitis when I were a child was to put head over brazier wi' tar in bucket bein' melted down for roads...and then there is castor oil whose origins harbour that intense poison ricin...(nowt wrong w'r'im, just needs a good dollop o' opening medisen - that'll fettle the young bugger!)

I was a weird kid - I liked castor oil! Nobody else did.

 

[Yithian]

I was a weird kid - I liked castor oil! Nobody else did.

I loved this stuff.

 

[Mythopoeika]

Ohhh yes, that was a treat!

 

[Mungoman]

I loved, and still do, cod liver oil.

My definition of bliss is to find those little tins of smoked cods livers. Bliss, I tell you!!

 

[Andy X]

I was a weird kid - I liked castor oil! Nobody else did.

Not so much castor oil, but I grew to like cod liver oil right out of the bottle. *oh, just noticed Mungoman's post, ^^ above ^^*

I loved this stuff.

View attachment 5750

Ah, the incomporable Galloway's - another of my mum's medicine cupboard essentials. Like most slightly old-school Northern matriarchs she seems obsessed with cough medicines - to which I owe my long life and robust physique *cough, splutter*...

 

[notdej]

I was a weird kid

me too.. i used to eat ants

 

[notdej]

Ah, the incomporable Galloway's - another of my mum's medicine cupboard essentials. Like most slightly old-school Northern matriachs she seems obsessed with cough medicines - to which I owe my long life and robust physique *cough, splutter*...

nothing is better than a mouthful of wd40

 

[Andy X]

Serves the buggers right. Did you just pick 'em off the kitchen counter before they got to your sandwich or go right for the ant-hill with a bendy stick?

 

[Andy X]

nothing is better than a mouthful of wd40

A WKD/WD40 cocktail always hits the spot.

I think it's called 'sex in an ambulance'

Or is it a 'slow comfortable seizure'?

 

[notdej]

Serves the buggers right. Did you just pick 'em off the kitchen counter before they got to your sandwich or go right for the ant-hill with a bendy stick?

Well, sort of:

my older sister used to grab my legs & push me like a Hoover, sucking up ants on the way! I was only 18 months old... Is that child abuse? Maybe I have a case

 

[Andy X]

It's certainly ant abuse - but they're hardly endangered species...and whilst being fascinating devious bastards are annoying and planning to take over eventually.

I seem to remember the also somewhat annoying Isy Suttie claiming to have devoured ants in order to impress some lad she'd set her cap at. She was 28 years old, ah...

 

[notdej]

It's certainly ant abuse

Andy, i was only 18 months old mate.. can i be accused of abuse? i'm worried now...

having said that my sister still to this day attempts to grab my ankles -- & i'm 58!!! it must be a fetish

 

[Andy X]

Of course not, and in any case legal processes are so slow that many generations of the pesky invertebrates will have been and gone by now, rendering any case effectively unprosecutable. And their access to solicitors is necessarily limited.

 

[ramonmercado]

me too.. i used to eat ants

Aaardvark never killed a man.

 

[ramonmercado]

Really horrifying.

A Texas mother accused of killing her two children by locking them in a hot car to "teach them a lesson" was indicted on Thursday.

Cynthia Marie Randolph, 25, was indicted on first-degree felony charges of causing serious bodily injury to a child. Randolph faces life in prison if convicted.

Randolph was arrested in June after her two toddlers -- Cavanaugh Ramirez, 1, and Juliet Ramirez, 2 -- were discovered unresponsive inside a locked car on May 26. Temperatures had reached close to 100 degrees by the time the children were found, FOX4 reported. ...

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime...ar-to-teach-them-a-lesson-indicted/ar-AAqoCW7

 

[Mythopoeika]

me too.. i used to eat ants

OK, you win the 'weird' trophy.

 

[ramonmercado]

Talk about shooting from the hip.

A couple shot their children with a BB gun as a "bizarre and frankly barbaric chastisement" for not doing chores properly, a court has heard.

The Blackpool pair, who cannot be named for legal reasons, used the weapon on their five children for four months, Preston Crown Court heard.

The "fairly trivial behaviour" punished included not changing a nappy, dropping items and failing to wash the dishes.

Both parents pleaded guilty to five counts of child cruelty.

The 50-year-old father was jailed for two years, while the mother, aged 33, was given a suspended sentence and ordered to do 200 hours of unpaid work.

The court heard the man bought the BB gun - a type of air gun designed for shooting pellets - in February 2016 and began using it to shoot birds and punish the children, aged between seven and 15, on a daily basis. ...

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lancashire-41160213

 

[Shady]

SOB, poor birds

 

[Frasier Buddolph]

Maybe this doesn't STRICTLY belong in this thread, but it's about sweet children at the mercy of stupid, venal adults, so indulge me . . .

Don't know why I suddenly thought of this episode today. It happened to me when I was in fourth grade. Now, in the small town where I grew up, there was a small liberal arts college affiliated with the Methodist Church (they frowned on everything), and our trainee teachers were drawn from this righteous flock. In this capacity, we had the privilege to receive one Mr Kirk, a pencil-necked prissy blue-nosed prig who should have been kept in a bottle of formaldehyde.

Well, one day, Mr. Kirk divided the class up into small groups and handed out volumes of poetry. He instructed each group to pick out a poem, and they could read it to the class. I don't know what he was expecting, but remember that we were fourth grade boys. Here is the poem we selected. Ladies and gentlemen, for your delectation, "Beer", by George Arnold:

Here,

With my beer​

I sit,
While golden moments flit:

Alas!
They pass​

Unheeded by:
And, as they fly,
I,
Being dry,

Sit, idly sipping here
My beer.
​

O, finer far
Than fame or riches, are
The graceful smoke-wreaths of this free cigar!

Why
Should I
Weep, wail, or sigh?
What if luck has passed me by?​

What if my hopes are dead,--
My pleasures fled?

Have I not still
My fill​

Of right good cheer,--
Cigars and beer?

Go, whining youth,
Forsooth!​

Go, weep and wail,
Sigh and grow pale,

Weave melancholy rhymes
On the old times,​

Whose joys like shadowy ghosts appear,
But leave me to my beer!

Gold is dross,--
Love is loss,--​

So, if I gulp my sorrows down,
Or see them drown
In foamy draughts of old nut-brown,
Then do I wear the crown,
Without the cross!


Well, you would have thought we had materialized Satan right in the class room, and we were treated to a lengthy diatribe about our wickedness, etc., etc. Not that he could do much about it, having given us the book in the first place.

I was pleasantly surprised that I remembered enough of the poem to be able to pull it up on Google.

Mr. Kirk, if you're still alive, this is for you, and stick it up your arse!!​

 

[Min Bannister]

Parents, if there weren't enough already, here is another way you are ruining your children's lives. Occasional moderate drinking.

Moderate drinking by parents can have a negative impact on children, causing anxiety and disrupting bedtime routines, a study says.

The Institute of Alcohol Studies said parents do not have to regularly drink large amounts around children for them to notice changes in adults' behaviour.

Three in 10 parents said they have been drunk in front of their children and five in 10 "tipsy", its survey found.

The institute said it was hoped the study will help inform parents.

"All parents strive to do what's best for their children, so it's important to share this research about the effects drinking can have on parenting, and what steps parents can take to protect their children," the institute's chief executive Karen Brown said.

 

[MrRING]

According to an arrest warrant obtained by Channel 2 Action News, Williams is accused of killing two of her children "by placing them in an oven and turning it on."

 

[ramonmercado]

Is it acceptable to name your baby "Jihad" in France, which has suffered Europe's worst Islamist terror attacks in recent years?

France's chief prosecutor now has to wrestle with that question after a couple's chosen name for their son was referred by authorities in Toulouse.

In turn, the French judge for family issues may have to rule on the case.

"Jihad" in Arabic means "effort" or "struggle", not specifically "holy war".

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41734079?ocid=socialflow_twitter

 

[Min Bannister]

France's chief prosecutor now has to wrestle with that question after a couple's chosen name for their son was referred by authorities in Toulouse.

Here let me help them. NON!

 

[ramonmercado]

Here let me help them. NON!

Equivalent of my parents naming me: Wade Through English Gore.

 

[Patrick30]

Perhaps I'm too middle class for my own good, but all of my English friends have Christened their childen with Biblical (but not the alien-sounding ones), Roman, or Greek names (especially for girls and not the preposterous ones).

I have a question: how many of those long African-American female christian names are of African origin and how many are simply made up? Transjanica, Shemonique and stuff like that.

Most are made up. My favs are the variations on consumer product brand names. Tyleenal (Tylenol), Cresta(Crest toothpaste or Crestor statin drug), Drystan(sinus cold medicine), are just a few I've ran into.

I have a good old English surname, Townsend. Dad was a history buff and named me Patrick(for Patrick Henry) Whitney (for Eli Whitney). It's ok I guess , just a bit too many letters for some forms.

 

[ramonmercado]

Most are made up. My favs are the variations on consumer product brand names. Tyleenal (Tylenol), Cresta(Crest toothpaste or Crestor statin drug), Drystan(sinus cold medicine), are just a few I've ran into.

I have a good old English surname, Townsend. Dad was a history buff and named me Patrick(for Patrick Henry) Whitney (for Eli Whitney). It's ok I guess , just a bit too many letters for some forms.

Good to be named after Patrick Henry!