Things That Make You Go... WTF?

Ladyloafer

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That guy in the light brown top behind her was so patient! I would say she had some kind of mental health or learning issues. She wasn't listening to their replies, hence the repeating over and over. infuriating though. Her tone of voice reminded me of Milton from Office Space.
 

Swifty

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That would make much more sense wouldn't it? I thought that but didn't want to suggest it having not worked f2f service lololololol
Customer service wise, here's an anecdote ..

About three years ago, I went as a customer to shop at the corner shop I used to work in. I walked in to chaos ..

A young woman they'd employed wasn't able to open the till .. not her fault, the software had crashed somehow and there were about eight people patiently waiting to be served, good as gold and we couldn't override it to open the till.

Not having an answer to her problem, she cracked and said to me "I'M SORRY !! .. I CAN'T DO THIS !!" then escaped to hide at the back of the shop leaving all the customers looking at me expectantly .. I didn't even work there anymore and when I did, I didn't work on the till.

"That's OK, don't worry!" I called back to her/blagged and the customers kindly agreed to this but I was still clueless so I did a loud apology voice announcement thingy to tell everyone I was going to call the boss who truthfully lived about 60 seconds walk from his shop: "Hi, it's ********, erm, I'm behind your till .. your till's playing up, your girl's freaked and I'm standing here with about 8 customers I can't serve" ..

.. the best I could do was to ask everyone with the correct change for the stuff they wanted to come forward if that was OK by the rest of the customers which worked so that sorted out/cleared 5 of them out so someone could scan the same products later and drop the change I organised into small piles with hand written notes for later ..

About 2 minutes before the boss walked through the door, a local woman came in from a taxi and decided to try and kick off because she was drunk and had a taxi waiting, another local argued with her, this woman shouted "I know your Mum, your whole family's shit!" .. I asked the woman to leave and explained to her that 'we' didn't want to ban her from the shop because we knew her as a cool person and she left and then my ex boss turned up and I went home.
 

Ladyloafer

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There is something truly strange that happens to people when they enter a place of 'service'. All common sense (not to mention decency, manners, morals) just vanish. People will stand in a queue, with no assistant and a broken till. Annoying to not be able to buy your goods, but still they stand there, as if someone is going to appear like a genie from a magic lamp.
So many customers would ask me for something, and if I said we didn't have it, 'oh but i need it for xxxx'. oh well in that case I do have it after all. I was just lying to you....ffs.

Or the mystery of the 'part set' items. Something (clothing in this case) that has multiple parts to it. Lets say, pyjamas- a top and a bottoms. But no, the top has vanished. Often just stolen, no mystery there, but then a couple hours later, it turns up half way across the shop, or even stranger, 2 weeks later from god knows where?

Or the single shoe. We would routinely gather a huge tote box, sometime 2, of mismatched or single shoes. A mismatched pair made sense, someone had accidentally or on purpose bought a mis-sized pair (lots of people must had odd sized feet to do this on purpose). But if it was a mistake, or those 2 left shoes then wouldn't you bring it back? As for all the single shoes, I have no idea.

The whole of retail is made up of people that make you go wtf.
 

Swifty

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There is something truly strange that happens to people when they enter a place of 'service'. All common sense (not to mention decency, manners, morals) just vanish. People will stand in a queue, with no assistant and a broken till. Annoying to not be able to buy your goods, but still they stand there, as if someone is going to appear like a genie from a magic lamp.
So many customers would ask me for something, and if I said we didn't have it, 'oh but i need it for xxxx'. oh well in that case I do have it after all. I was just lying to you....ffs.

Or the mystery of the 'part set' items. Something (clothing in this case) that has multiple parts to it. Lets say, pyjamas- a top and a bottoms. But no, the top has vanished. Often just stolen, no mystery there, but then a couple hours later, it turns up half way across the shop, or even stranger, 2 weeks later from god knows where?

Or the single shoe. We would routinely gather a huge tote box, sometime 2, of mismatched or single shoes. A mismatched pair made sense, someone had accidentally or on purpose bought a mis-sized pair (lots of people must had odd sized feet to do this on purpose). But if it was a mistake, or those 2 left shoes then wouldn't you bring it back? As for all the single shoes, I have no idea.

The whole of retail is made up of people that make you go wtf.
Ladyloafer, as you are an ex front line soldier of the service (not servant) industry yourself, please please go out of your way to find and watch the early 90's independently made Kevin Smith film 'Clerks'.

.. or you can watch the full film for free in this irritating hyper speeded up way ..

 
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RaM

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So I get off the North bound London Scotland express and waiting there with two rail workers and a ramp
is a young woman in a wheel chair, she dives up the ramp and jams the chair in the train doors, she sits
there for about 15 minuets wile staff try to reason with her effectively not only stopping that train but blocking
the main line, in the mean time 4 people not one less than 20 stone were tucking into massive plates of food
in plain sight of what was going on, eventually they finish shoveling food down and waddle out of the cafe and onto
the train wheelchair lady un-jams herself and off goes the train a good 15 min late, a very polished act so
they must pull the same stunt quiet often.
 

Ladyloafer

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Ladyloafer, as you are an ex front line soldier of the service (not servant) industry yourself, please please go out of your way to find and watch the early 90's independently made Kevin Smith film 'Clerks'.

.. or you can watch the full film for free in this irritating hyper speeded up way ..

an excellent film swifty. although its many years since i've seen it.
 

Bad Bungle

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There's an old story of a man working on a Building Site who, at the end of his shift, would push a wheel-barrow through Security with a single house brick in it. Security would scrutinise the brick and give him an odd look, but let him through. This continued shift after shift and Management couldn't work out what he was up. Eventually they decided to fire him for stealing bricks. Of course it was the wheel-barrows he was stealing.

Wonder if this chap needed a shopping trolley ?
 

RaM

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They walk among us.

Heard of a guy that the security were certain was on the fiddle, they would pull him often but never found a thing
then one day he drooped his push bike and had a real struggle to pick it up, they found a plug in the frame top and bottom
it was full of Mercury, good knows when he was doing with it.
 

Bigphoot2

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They walk among us.

Heard of a guy that the security were certain was on the fiddle, they would pull him often but never found a thing
then one day he drooped his push bike and had a real struggle to pick it up, they found a plug in the frame top and bottom
it was full of Mercury, good knows when he was doing with it.
They became suspicious when they noticed his bike was taller on warm days.
 

skinny

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Very very hard to believe that this very special man decided to top himself within 6 months of this interview. Creative spirit with a clear mind. You don't top yourself in this frame of mind. He's an affirmative person. A genius in the Syd Barrett vein.
 

Ogdred Weary

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Customer service wise, here's an anecdote ..

About three years ago, I went as a customer to shop at the corner shop I used to work in. I walked in to chaos ..

A young woman they'd employed wasn't able to open the till .. not her fault, the software had crashed somehow and there were about eight people patiently waiting to be served, good as gold and we couldn't override it to open the till.

Not having an answer to her problem, she cracked and said to me "I'M SORRY !! .. I CAN'T DO THIS !!" then escaped to hide at the back of the shop leaving all the customers looking at me expectantly .. I didn't even work there anymore and when I did, I didn't work on the till.

"That's OK, don't worry!" I called back to her/blagged and the customers kindly agreed to this but I was still clueless so I did a loud apology voice announcement thingy to tell everyone I was going to call the boss who truthfully lived about 60 seconds walk from his shop: "Hi, it's ********, erm, I'm behind your till .. your till's playing up, your girl's freaked and I'm standing here with about 8 customers I can't serve" ..

.. the best I could do was to ask everyone with the correct change for the stuff they wanted to come forward if that was OK by the rest of the customers which worked so that sorted out/cleared 5 of them out so someone could scan the same products later and drop the change I organised into small piles with hand written notes for later ..

About 2 minutes before the boss walked through the door, a local woman came in from a taxi and decided to try and kick off because she was drunk and had a taxi waiting, another local argued with her, this woman shouted "I know your Mum, your whole family's shit!" .. I asked the woman to leave and explained to her that 'we' didn't want to ban her from the shop because we knew her as a cool person and she left and then my ex boss turned up and I went home.
Dear Mrs The Queen,

Please Knight Swifty and make him Sir Swifty of Cromerfordshire forthwith,

Ogdred Weary

Only being mildly facetious there Swifty, you went well above and beyond there.
 

escargot

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Eventually they decided to fire him for stealing bricks. Of course it was the wheel-barrows he was stealing.
Reminds me of the joke about the building site labourer who's sacked because, the foreman says, his wheelbarrow is going squeak... squeak... squeak...
'Who's wrong with that?' says the indignant labourer, to which the foreman says 'It SHOULD be going squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak'!
 

Swifty

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Being a huge fan of the Evil Dead series as well as other random zombie films, I was heartbroken to learn via a youtube video made by some other nerds that chainsaws are in fact instead useless in attacking humans if the humans, zombie or otherwise, are wearing clothes .. fabric causes spinning chainsaw blades to snag and jam shutting them down.

As sexy as the idea is of taking a zombie down with a chainsaw sounds, it just doesn't work unless the zombie is topless.
 
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